Majofo

we all do -Kurt

Franchise1124

Not me. Celibacy Diversification, fam.

Who's taking a pounding in their own local markets this weekend?

cu2wagon

I diversified too.

Keep some money under the mattress and some burried in a coffee can in the back yard.

cu2wagon

An I started a college fund for my spawn. It's called, "be real fuckin' smaht because Papa got fuckall saved up".

I'm not sure how it compares to one of those 419 plans the 10%ers have.

Majofo

full disclosure, that coffee can probably has tree fiddy, I know from experience
breh, I was trying to tell da wife this, like I didn't get no breaks, why we gotta save for the kids and shit
The only breaks I got was when pops beat the brakes off me (#toxicmuch)
now I gotta save ten bucks every week for their future
#DadsWhoCare

cu2wagon

Yeah. It would not be worth it for anyone to actually look for that can. Only a couple bucks, an IOU from 2004 (from me to me), and and old picture of a rubber pussy from the back of a Hustler magazine.

Me: I put myself through college and I turnt out fine. Why would I expect any different for the kids?

​​​​​​Wife: you huff paint.

Me: Right, which is ALSO why we can't save anything for college. Now hand me the ReddiWhip.

Majofo

Real ReddiWhip made from Real Milk????

cu2wagon

In reality, I do auto draft a couple bucks a week into Jr's account. But it's my account. So im still Asianing the shit out of him and shaming him into good grades and into Dr/Lawyer/Engineer (if you want to be disappointing) school so I can spend than money on a 911 when he gets the fuck outta the house goes to school.

Majofo

Do it for the gram mang

https://nypost.com/2018/05/04/man-ma...taking-selfie/

cu2wagon

​​​​​​Only if I'm hitting the whipits IN the store.

Otherwise it's just a colloquial phrase. Like how we call "oat circles" "Cheerios" and "half a can of OJ concentrate in an old jug of water" "Orange Juice".

Or how "Jim Beam" is "Papa's cough syrup"

Majofo

Owner of the store shit
Living the life

cu2wagon

​​​​​​​FFS. There is a high percentage of Kurt's in India, it would seem.

cu2wagon

You know how it am.

cu2wagon

My kid called ('murican) football "handegg" the other day. I felt like my ability to parent had reached it's pinnacle. Henceforth it will be all disappointment and contempt.

Majofo

Kurt in India is pronounced Kunt

cu2wagon

Whoa! Just like how we pronounce it in USA?

Probably because of the years of British presence there.

Majofo

No wonder Kurt's a cuck
It all makes sense now

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

Z has a prepaid college fund, 4 year University.

Yumcha

Well, here we go. The NFL thread just turned stupid.

Majofo

When FJ lost his innocence and subsequently his virginity


https://m.imgur.com/gallery/wEQ4oLp

cu2wagon

that was a good read. I wish I was that cool.

More likely, that's the story of how fancy shoes alterboi needed to leave the Homeland.

Majofo

What a nerd

Yumcha

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

LOL...
it did seem like something FJ would write for sure.

Majofo

Would write.. do you even know FJ?
I'll send you a link to his book
it's only one page, but it's 100% alpha
Don't share

Majofo

Sharing is probably something you're too accustomed to
Nevermind.. I'll read it to you and you watch listen

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

LOL...
let me guess, it's Saturday night and your Vatos homies are over celebrating the 5th?
Owner of the store said it was fine, so you indulged?

Majofo

My vatos would never celebrate this anglo holiday
That's some Kurt shit right there

I bet Kurt is wearing a fake poncho villa moustache and a sombrero
my vatos also don't need a holiday as an excuse to get fucked up
so yes they're getting fucked up

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

Samesies...
just checking.

Smooth weekend thus far?
Anything fun?

Majofo

hoodrat vision
I just want to do hoodrat shit with my frenz

Majofo

I got love but got a strap on my lap..
Can't respect your hustle if your hands out begging
Can't respect your gangsta if your pants look like leggings
Can't respect your pimpin if you the one paying
God can't bless your blessings if you ain't praying
Shiett.. shine on 'em mang

Weekend is good.. bbq tomorrow.. island style chicken mang.
No wrench time on the caddy yet. Shiet I'm thinking of upgrading the pumps and doin the damn thang mang.
But I just dumped a bunch of my coin in the market. I saw a position and took it (from behind, mine)

Majofo

My new neighborhood ain't the vibe mang
Everyone drives like trash here, it's the privilege
Anyways, somebody does some fuck shit and I'm like fuck 'em.. cya!
Then they hit me with the high beams but I'm so far away it's laughable


I'm serious mang, these people drive in the middle of two lanes
No turn signals, distracted AF, pull out in front of you, cut you off like nothing
And it's not typical BMW Audi douchebag driving
It's like they have blinders and think they're the only ones on the road

This is a common occurrence, me honking because someone is stopped in the middle of the road
They're checking their phone like they're lost but I know these fuckers live here
It's impossible to be lost out here

Maybe I should move back to the old hood ghetto
Oh the new tenants.. shiett.. had to hit up the spot because a brown out took out the fridge PCB
No biggie, had it fixed in no time. Well I'm up in the old crib, looks fucking amazing
Not only have they rehabbed the property (landscaping, painted door, etc)

But they live good mang.. like Fixer Upper style.
I know they ain't gonna be here longer than a year, but I wish they would.
Maybe I can take some pics of how they livin and use that for the next listing

Majofo

heh.. brown out
Talking about brown out.. where ladiboi at?

cu2wagon

Fuckin' privileged driving cuntsworth today in front of me... In the left turn lane and this bitch gets up to the intersection and flips on the right blinker and proceeds to stop to wait for a break in traffic because she don't want to turn.

Meanwhile, I can't do shit but lay on the ol' "fuck you" alarm because I got another left turn lane to my left, and the aforementioned lane of through traffic to my right.

Privileged drivers is right. Stupid ass bitches only thinking of themselves and not the potential accident thier dumbassery could cause. Like, fuckin' commit to your mistake and go down a block, you miserable twat.

Sheeiiit. This is why bitches get shot.

Majofo

I had a win this week though
people use my street turnout to make illlegal uturns
I usually let my cuntburglar alarm blast the whole time
Because

A) they're blocking their lane to do this, dangerous
B) I'm trying to turn you cunt!!!!!

This is a 55 mph street too. It's dangerous but they dgaf.
Well I finally got someone to move along to the legal uturn area
It's literally 50 yards down the road
Fuck these privileged assholes

polobunny

Call me a dick but I love enforcing the road rules that make sense.
Fuck all the people trying to pass everyone by using the turning lane to go straight, and def fuck the people trying to speed in fucking school zones.

Most school zones here are not even half a mile long and you gotta drive 20 mph, but they can't seem to afford the whole minute on their morning commutes. Watch as it takes you more than twice the time, because I'll be driving so slow I'm about to kill the engine and I'm gonna stop at this stop sign for 10 seconds to look left right left right left right left right... left right. I'll shit in your mouth you absolute twat.

rockstar143

iTrader: (6)

I'd love to see a picture...
wide angle is where it's at for real estate photography!

Went to cars and coffee with J and Z today...long fucking drive on the way back. Yukon fan clutch must be gone...overheating in traffic, fine on highway. Also, saw a V wagon in white with recaro and manual
I had seen it at Moroso last year on my birthday too...sexy bitch, this year the guy had a big fuzzy seat cover covering the recaro and an ashtray in the cupholder. Doesn't get more American than that but

J was like, pretty funny being here in something nobody really pays attention to...although some other Tahoe owner was pointing and thumbsupping when I went by a light...guessing the cleanliness and new wheels set it off.

Last night coming back from dinner...this douche in a NX Lexus cuts me off HARD as we approach a light, no signal, just throws himself. I was like, lemme get on his ass with this behemoth...then I gunned it and passed him and
returned the favor as a tribute to my 17 year old self. He made a right at the next light to not be next to me. Fucking dickhead...was impressed this fat bitch could move when you give the ole 5.3 the mustard.

Majofo

You should have just

Majofo

Can you explain to me why you took them in that dumpster fire and not the vagon?
Shiett.. you're supposed to make babes feel special mang.
At least install 6x 15" subs and run 4000W of cuck wife fucking power in that jeep mang.

Majofo

Goes to Cars and Coffee with hot wife.. checks out other Vagons.
J... we usually make fun of you for stuff like that in these parts
But at least you didn't take the cuckmobile
Give him space guys, lose the toxicity

My ese back in trese would roll around in his fleetwood brougham coupe
cruising real slow and low, puffing on a cigar
He was the mac.. he prob dead now
Or family guy working IT, 3 kids