What Should a Rabbi Drice 2: Test Ride Edition

You should remember my high school friend Rabbi Yonah Bookstein from this recent piece where you, my delicious readers, voted him in the direction of some new wheels. Your top picks, in case you’ve forgotten, were a Cadillac and an Acura. Since I was in L.A the other week, where Mr. Seymour Torah resides, I contacted the folks from these brands, did a Hebe-gathering drive-by, and hit the test-ride circuit with the Rebbe for a little U.S. vs Japan playoff.

Acura RL
Our first stop was a kosher restaurant in what Yonah refers to as the ’Chood—the Jewy West Side neighborhood where he lives. Since it was Sukkot, a holiday meant to “celebrate” our peoples’ four decades of wandering in the desert, we ate out in the sun inside a flimsy hut. Joining us for lunch was John Kiewicz, Acura’s p.r. mensch, and he brought his full-on Aleph-game: an RL for us to drive, a corporate card to buy our meal, and a Letterman-style Rabbi-Ride Top 10 list, including gems like “the RL’s active noise cancellation will allow the Rabbi to better hear advice from his back-seat-sitting mother-in-law”. Yonah was plotzing before we even got behind the wheel.

The drive only improved his opinion. As we whizzed around Century City, running red lights, cutting off old ladies, and making illegal U-turns, the Rabbi wore a big smile. Riding mameleh reminded me of how Yonah’s driving skills had been honed during our youthful years delivering pizzas: I felt like traifig skin of pepperoni and mozzarella clinging tight to a chewy crust. “Great handling. Beautiful interior. Good acceleration. Slick technology,” the Rabbi said. “The steering’s a bit light for my taste, but still. Nice.”

Rabbi Grade: Aleph minus.

Cadillac STS
Next stop was Santa Monica, where we were met by fab G.M. p.r. diva, Diedra Wylie. Since Diedra didn’t have an STS in her fleet, we had to borrow one from a local dealer, which ended up being strike one (and two) against the car. It’s not like I’m the world’s top auto journo macher or anything; I don’t expect champagne and go-go boys whenever I stop into a showroom. But if you were a retail outlet that had been contacted by your regional headquarters and told that a representative of a national magazine and his close friend, a potential buyer, were going to stop by to sample your wares, would your response on their arrival be to make them wait for 15 minutes in silence, finally greet them by approaching brusquely with hand outstretched demanding “License,” provide them with a bungling and lifeless sales drone to deliver their product tour, and then loan them something that was deficient due to your own negligence? Um, mine wouldn’t.

We tooled around only briefly in the STS, the Rabbi glowering. “The transmission is clunky. The ride feels floaty. The technology is, like, 20th-century. And I would dread going back to that dealership for service. I mean, Oy!”

Rabbi Grade: Daled

Buick LaCrosse
This car wasn’t on the original list. In fact, the Rabbi recoiled when I’d initially mentioned G.M.’s big-in-China tri-shield brand and its French Canadian j.o. slang-named vehicle. But after the Caddy debacle, Diedre wanted to do right. So she arranged for the Reb to receive a week of LaCrosse. (Oui! Owee!) I couldn’t be present for this test, but Yonah sent me his detailed thoughts. He found the vehicle to be “fabulous, speedy, and well thought out, with amazing looks, a great ride, comfy seating and creature comforts, and top-notch tech integration.” Having given up on the General years ago, he was impressed. “Hard to imagine it's a G.M.” And while he prefers a more spirited (if not spiritual) ride, he found the Buick compelling. “It's not sporty, but Lexus-type luxury at an affordable cost.” Would he buy it over the Acura? Unlikely. But still, he felt it made a good showing.

Rabbi grade: Bet plus

So there we have it. Looks like Acura wins the Golden Torah award. (As John Kiewicz said presciently in the peak of his Top 10 list, “#1 It’s right there in the name: RL = Rabbi Limo.”) Stay tuned and see how Yonah does in his quest to find one. And at the right price!

 

I think more people would feel similarly if they actually knew the RL existed and gave it a chance.

Very few people know about this car. It's really too bad.

 

Anyone else craving a good Reuben sandwich right about now?

 

Very nice article and typical of domestic dealership attitudes. It is almost as if they want to throw down and if you can take them, they will allow you to test drive one of their prized cars. Gee, what a deal.

 

Shhh - If everybody had one then I could have bought a TL and saved a bunch!

 

if everyone knew about the RL it wouldn't depreciate fast enough for the younglins to buy one...

 

what are you trying to say leo...

young people driving a old mans car is a good thing

 

I kinda like my 1st gen RL

BRB, time to get my Metamucil

 

Sounds like the Rabbi needs to visit Acurazine so we can do some convincing.

Great article, I got a good laugh....and emblematic of Acura's problem getting attention to the RL. I agree that more people would buy it if they knew it existed.

 

Metamucil then Depends.....

It is a vicious cycle.

 

Here is the original blurb about the 2005-2008 Acura Rl. Also the results of a poll they took, in which the RL won:

Infiniti M45 19% (60 votes)
Cadillac STS 25% (77 votes)
Acura RL 28% (88 votes)
Pontiac G8 GT 11% (34 votes)
Jaguar XJ8 18% (55 votes)
Total Votes: 314

What Should a Rabbi Drive

2005-2008 Acura RL: An underrated, conservatively styled vehicle with smooth power, sticky handling, and advanced features. But is it too stealth (read: assimilated) for our proud Jewlicious leader?