my x was fine in the morning... come afternoon and the keyless entry didnt want to work. i get in the car and turn it on the horn honked by itself...my high beams dont work, my power doors dont work , my turn signals dont work (but the hazard lights do) my wiper fluid motor doesnt work nor does the back wiper.

 

How old is your battery? It is possible that your FOB is not opening the car and when you open it, car thinks you are stealing it and causing madness.

 

Agree with nav. I would have your battery checked. Dying batteries have been known to manifest themselves in all sorts of odd symptoms.