bent09

iTrader: (1)

My wife is making me coach my sons soccer team this year. At first I tought she was crazy but now I am having a blast.

So far we are 2-1.

Unfortunately today the other coaches got upset with our team and it was a pretty intense conversation. They had three coaches.

Basically during the game their coach came to me to complain that our biggest kid was kicking high on purpose. He got in my personal bubble shaking his hands and said loudly "I am trying to do this as diplomatic as possible but your kid is kicking our kids and it has to stop now."

The way he approached me put me on edge. I unfortunately came back pretty stong and told him that if he had a problem take it up with the ref and that he was not supposed to talk to me. Of course I talked to the kid, but then another coach on their team yelled at me to take him out of the game. I just cut my eyes and gave him the ok sign.

I honestly did not notice anything other than this kid is bigger than the others and is not cordinated. Six year old soccer consists of 8 kids around the ball swinging wild at most points in the game.

After the game was over another kid approached my son and called us cheaters. My 6 year old was upset and started yelling at the kid. Before I could grab him another coach on the team yelled "SHUT IT!!!" in my sons face. I was standing right there at this point and kept my cool with a simple excuse me.

I think they were taken back because they scored 3 quick goals in the first 2 minutes but then we came back and one. On one play they had a break away and our stud walked him down and was shoulder to shoulder and like all 6 year olds do they both fell down.

It was pretty intense but the kids did not catch on. Later the guy who yelled at my son came up to apologize but I was already fired up and just blew him off.

I was so caught off guard with the whole thing, looking back I am not sure I handled it the best way. Oh well, Go Green Dragons!!!!

U7- Boys: Any advise on getting the kids to pay attension?

jupitersolo

Seems you handle it the best you could, a coach should never show that kind of emotion on the field with kids that young. If the coach that yelled shut it, really meant what he said. He would have apologized to your son.

As far as the big kid, if that's his natural motion, not sure what you can do. If he's taller than the others he's going to be kicking higher. But just let him know he can't kick above a certain point of a player.

As far as U7 kids to listen better, not going to happen. You can talk them up one side and down the other and they'll still forget what you want them to do. I have been helping to coach my sons little league teams since he was six. Even now at 11-12 yrs old it's hard. All you can do is keep reminding them of what they should be doing.

black label

Ritalin in the Gatorade

bent09

iTrader: (1)

Suck we have to play them again. I never thought in a 100 years a big guy would tell my kid to shut it without me losing it. I can see how fired up youth sports can get.

Such a shame. Seems very different than when I was growing up. I guess now that every child is gonig to be the next Pele, and now they look like legit teams with the gear it gets heated.

Ken1997TL

I'd say in the most steady tone possible that what he just did to a six year old child was wrong and that if he ever does such a thing again, you'll feel that your child is in danger and will take all precautions.

If there is one thing that will trigger a response from me it is seeing an adult abusing a child.

KieranM37

complain to whoever's in charge of the league. If he acted like that in your game, he's probably done it before and probably will again. hopefully there's enough evidence to get him thrown out of the league, as clearly he does not belong.

and as for getting them to pay attention, definitely not happening. I'm an assistant coach for my old highschool's grade 8 football team and they can't even pay attention for 20 seconds. Just repeat yourself plenty and don't expect too much. after all, it's supposed to be about the fun of playing right?

bent09

iTrader: (1)

All good advise. It sound like they might of complained before because we got this email from the head guy of U7 before the game:

"Soccer is a contact sport. As a coach be aware when one of your players is using too much contact. Let's not get into whether someone on the other team was a bit too aggressive; therefore it is ok for my players to be equally aggressive. Be the Adult and nip it before it escalates into a problem or an injury. Know the difference between a clumsy 6-year old boy and an aggressive action."

The way he approached me he thought I taught the kid to miss the ball and hit shins.

This age is extremely tough because the skill level is so far apart. I have two kids that cant dribble the ball but I have two kids that can put it upper 90 from 20 yards.

This is so much fun though. I went from mad that I was volenteered to paying for buttons for the parents and custom wrist bands for the kids.

I have learned a couple of things that have helped. I have a team leader on the field who is responsible for lining everyone up. They listen to other kids before me. Next have the kids draw up plays on the white board. They love it! Of course they get on the field and run around like chickens with their heads cut off but I have kids coming up to me going "my play worked coach!" I just crack up laughing inside.

Rockstar21

iTrader: (1)

If coaches are getting verbally and visually angry, they don't need to be coaching in the U-7 age group.

I coach a U-13 squad and that kind of behavior is hardly tolerated.

you showed the restraint. Sounds like the league needs to regulate who coaches a bit more.

bent09

iTrader: (1)

Got the email tonight. My team is overly aggressive and I need to work on it in practice. I responded with my side of the story so we will see.

Plan on working on aggresive play this Wed but man I wish I would have emailed him like some suggested reporting it to the league. Now I just sound like the "oh yeah" guy.

I suggested not playing team again because of the confrontation. No win situation.

Scottman111

This sucks, no win situation for all.

Unfortunately this pretty much sums up my entire childhood experience while playing baseball. I was on some really good teams and all coaches including mine were hot heads. Nothing but bickering at each other and towards the umpire, and that was at all levels. In fact I remember a few times the umpires crying from dealing with so much crap.

It only got worse as kids got older and started mimicking their coaches, so just do your best to keep it from influencing the kids, which is obviously why you're all there. Good luck.

F23A4

You're a good man. Seriously. Based on what you've posted, I can't think of a better way to have handled the situation.

Yelling at me, I can totally shrug off. But someone...anyone...yelling at my 6 y/o kid would definitely incline me to shift from my suburban yuppie mode right back into my 125th st/Lenox Ave mode in a fraction of a second.

Honestly, I'd do a reply all to that email and inquire if there is a non-competitive soccer league that your team can enter.

Aman

I agree with Rockstar 100%, If he can't keep his temper around kids and yelled "Shut it" to any 6 y/o he really has no business there.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

I hate guys who feel big by yelling at little kids

imj0257

iTrader: (1)

I can compromise with both sides.

Most 6 year olds do just run around following the ball in a big swarm swinging their legs away trying to kick the ball. You just happen to have a kid that is bigger than everyone else and maybe less coordinated, so I wouldn't be surprised when he kicks at the ball his cleat could get near or even hit another kid's body, not on purpose of course. The other coach sounds like he is just protecting his kids because he doesn't want them to get injured... after all they are just 6 year olds and the game is just for fun. If you saw some big kid running wildly getting damn near to kicking one of your players you might get mad as well.

Regardless though, that doesn't give him the right to yell at the kids at all. He needs to take it up with the officials, so that guys did go overboard. I can definitely see that kind of yelling from coaches to teenagers but not to kiddies.

I know it is hard to get 6 year olds to listen to anything, but maybe just get them to huddle up before the game or during practice and tell them to try to be careful and not kick other kids (I know they probably won't hear a word you say but might as well try lol).

IMO this isn't a reason not to play the team again, the coaches just need to be civilized. The only time I ever decided not to show up and play one of my soccer games was when I was in my mid teens and we were playing a team full of Mexicans for the second time that season and during the previous game some kid on their team accused me of calling him a slur word in Spanish (at that time I had never even heard of the word before); during the game they were basically trying to break my legs and face and after the game their whole team and sideline fans were looking at me and some gangbanger dude starting walking towards me and I basically ran away. I knew I was going to get stabbed if I went to the rematch

CarbonGray Earl

My region produced Alex Morgan....now every parent of a kid with middling talent at best thinks they have the next one.

Newsflash to those parents: you don't have the next Alex or at least you shouldn't believe that. Its a game. Let them play it.

My father-in-law actually coached Alex when my youngest sister-in-law was on the same team as her. He told me that Alex was always the fastest girl, and that you could tell she was something special. She was affectionately known as 'Ballhog Alex' because she was always first to the ball.

So when he watched one of my kids games with me, he laughed at all the yelling and screaming parents. He didn't want to be mean, but he didn't think everyone needed to get worked up over every little thing.

I made the decision this year to take my kids out of AYSO. They are good enough and fast enough for sure, but sports loses usefulness when the PARENTS are being bad examples.

bent09

iTrader: (1)

Well good news. I had a fantastic talk with the guy running the Katy league. After my email he knew he did not have the full side of the story. He actually sent an email out to everyone about controling their parents and that it will not be tolerated, that kids are uncordinated, and soccer is a contact sport.

I feel so much better. He said that this happens every year and that when his son was playing he made a bad decision and got a ref to cry. He still regrets it to this day 22 years later. Told me I did a fantasic job and that I will be a better coach for going through it.

I am in sales and can smell someone blowing smoke and it was not that. Maybe now I am glad it happened so I know I can handle it. When the guy yelled at Brenden my first instict was right hand to his head but having kids makes you think twice.

He also gave me some great advise about getting kids to listen and teaching ok aggressive behavior.

I am so pump for our game Sat. I love this.

CarbonGray Earl

Yep. Always have the kids in mind. Good stuff.

Aman

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Sucks Bent.

I coach my son's U7 team. Our format is different. We actually started rotating teams. By that I mean every day you get a different team. It makes it very difficult to coach and control the kids. We don't have refs so the coaches are on the field. I'm not shy about calling a foul and talking to my kids before something gets out of control.

I have found that the boys respond very well to being talked to and not talked DOWN to so the other coach yelling at them will just set them off and make them more uncontrollable.

I usually get down on a knee and speak with them before the game or if there is an altercation. This seems to work well.

Most importantly it has to be fun for them. Our program is really good. It's produced a ton of really good players. U5-U8 is more about fun than anything else.

bent09

iTrader: (1)

So this thread ends on a huge positive! Today we played the same team that we had the trouble with.

First, since I started this thread I took a big step back with my own competitive nature. I stopped worrying about score and how players were playing to just have fun. It really made more since when in the game prior to ours a kid cracked his head on the goal post and split him wide open. Ambulance came and the kid looked like he was in an MMA fight but he was OK.

On to our game... My son was on fire. He is not the best on the team by far but he was unbelievable. He is younger than the other kids so I don't particularly care if he is not the "stud" but he was today. He saved at least8 break a ways and set up three goals.
My son has always been a little defensive minded. After practice we worked on not coming after the ball but running sided to side five yards back and then attack. He got it!

The game went back and forth and all I did was tell our two best players to lock up on their guys and game over. They were frustrated but polite. Green Dragons 8 – Red Dragons 4

The head of officials watched the entire game and the guy who yelled at Brenden was not allowed to join us.
It is kind of funny because you can tell what everyone says about talent and heart. The two best players on our team have different attitudes. Our best player by far could score every time at will. He pulls himself out of the game saying he is tired. Our second best player will line the kids up, gets kids focused and cannot be taken out of the game.


This is so much fun!!! Go Green Dragons!!!