Money & Investing Learn how to get rich on the housing bubble and the bull market…

Family Member Asked to Borrow Money

Thread Tools
 
Old 01-03-2010, 06:07 PM
  #81  
OCD in the OC
Thread Starter
 
ccarbajal08's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Rancho Santa Margarita, CA
Age: 44
Posts: 784
Likes: 0
Received 1 Like on 1 Post
Originally Posted by AMAN1
^ It's a small price to prevent your relative from gossiping around the family that you can easily afford to lend him the money, but won't do it for xxx reason that's irrelevant.
True.
Old 01-04-2010, 01:15 PM
  #82  
Senior Moderator
iTrader: (5)
 
juniorbean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The QC
Posts: 28,461
Received 1,760 Likes on 1,046 Posts
Also, just b/c people appear to be doing well, does not mean that they are. I am not insinuating that this is the case with you, however, appearances can be deceiving. I know a lot of people who look like they're doing well, but they are living check to check and on credit to keep up their lifestyle.

In other words, do not feel uncomfortable about hiding your lifestyle. If people start to question things, just nicely let them know that you have other responsibilities and liabilities which do not allow you to lend money to anyone and you would appreciate it if people would just back off and leave your personal/private matters alone...

As was mentioned a million times, do not let him guilt you. Just simply provide short answers with little to no detail. Stuff like we are not in a position to lend money is sufficient. If you start making other things up, you will lose track of your lies which will make it a bigger mess.

Just keep it simple, and stick to your guns.
Old 01-05-2010, 08:27 AM
  #83  
registered pw
 
dallison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: south central pa
Age: 49
Posts: 38,821
Received 354 Likes on 252 Posts
what jb said
Old 01-05-2010, 01:36 PM
  #84  
Three Wheelin'
iTrader: (1)
 
Chr8808's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Queens, NY
Age: 52
Posts: 1,285
Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts
Originally Posted by ccarbajal08
I said "no" and he said, in a nice way, "I can't take no for an answer right now."
You probably gave him a wishy-washy "no."

Be firm and give him a real "NO!"
Old 01-06-2010, 11:04 AM
  #85  
1919
 
Scottman111's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Age: 39
Posts: 21,467
Likes: 0
Received 162 Likes on 134 Posts
Originally Posted by AMAN1
^ It's a small price to prevent your relative from gossiping around the family that you can easily afford to lend him the money, but won't do it for xxx reason that's irrelevant.
Fuck that. If the family thinks like that then screw them too. I wouldn't feel guilty one bit about not wanting to lend someone money for whatever reason. Especially a d-bag like the guy the OP is dealing with. It's not my responsibility.
Old 01-06-2010, 11:21 AM
  #86  
Senior Moderator
iTrader: (5)
 
juniorbean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The QC
Posts: 28,461
Received 1,760 Likes on 1,046 Posts
^ Amen
Old 01-06-2010, 11:30 AM
  #87  
Sweet!
iTrader: (1)
 
thunder04's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 4,104
Received 80 Likes on 69 Posts
Do not lend any money!!!!!

No means no, which means NO! If he can't accept this, walk away from him.

Family members who expect family to let them borrow (when they mean give) money are no family at all...ESPECIALLY when they haven't done all they can to earn the money (aka, his wife not working!!!!!).


Last edited by thunder04; 01-06-2010 at 11:33 AM.
Old 01-14-2010, 05:50 PM
  #88  
KoolKatz..
iTrader: (6)
 
Etohprn247's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Fort Worth, Tx
Age: 47
Posts: 416
Likes: 0
Received 2 Likes on 2 Posts
Originally Posted by ccarbajal08
Recently, a close family member asked to borrow a significant amount of money from me. I'm open to helping him. However, I have two concerns. One, his wife doesn't work because she believes in homeschooling their son. I'm not against homeschooling. At the same time, I feel that when push comes to shove, which appears to be now for them, she can put him in public school and get a job. Two, he's using the money for a down payment on a loan modification of the mortgage of an investment property. If he doesn't have the funds for a down payment now, how will he ever "catch up" financially and pay me back. In their current situation, it seems unrealistic. I'm afraid that this lender-debtor dynamic will make our relationship awkward.

How can I politely tell him that I'll consider lending him money if we can (1) agree on a binding payment plan and (2) after his wife gets a job?
Don't do it! Your relationship will definately change and you may never see your money again or atleast for a very long long time. I've gone through this scenario with family whom was best friends/buddies/roaddawgs............................It's going on two year now not one single penny and we haven't been the same or hanged out ever since. It's like they been ignoring me so I'll forget the loan .....eh?

O

Last edited by Etohprn247; 01-14-2010 at 05:52 PM.
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
obert
Car Parts for Sale
6
11-07-2015 07:32 PM
rockyboy
2G RDX (2013-2018)
42
09-27-2015 11:08 AM
Rob144
2G RL (2005-2012)
7
09-21-2015 08:18 AM
theinsvnity
2G TL Problems & Fixes
2
09-10-2015 10:22 PM



Quick Reply: Family Member Asked to Borrow Money



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:14 AM.