So what what you guys do if the ex of one of your best friends clearly expressed interest in you? Lets say she is attractive. Would you pursue, or would you leave it alone because of the situation?

 

leave it alone

 

i would leave it alone

 

How long ago?

I married mine and everyone was fine with it. Even the ex-bf's mother said it was a good match

 

Depends upon the situation of the break-up. Get the lowdown from you friend and casually mention her desires and read his body language.

 

most of the time you should def. leave it alone.
but like what someone up there asked^^, how long ago was the break? good or bad?

 

I wouldn't want to.

It really depends on how hot she was though. If she's hot, well he should understand. If he doesn't he's an idiot. But she'd have to have killed his mother or done something intense for me to understand his resentment of her.

I believe that generally, once you take the trash out to the curb, it's not yours anymore, and if someone wants to rummage through it I'm not going to stop them, I've already made my decision. But if I start having bitter feelings about it and run back outside to dig through my trash for some bit of shiny tin that may be hidden somewhere near the bottom, I look like quite the fool and should be held to a higher standard than that by my friends. It goes both ways.

 

Well as far as my situation goes I already know im going to leave it alone. She texts me on and off. I told my friend the whole deal. I even forward him some of the texts she's sent me. We hang out as a group sometimes, parties, lounges, etc. So I guess that makes it a little difficult to shake off but Ive made my position clear already.....
FTR they broke up 4yrs ago...

 

true, on one hand i wouldnt want to date someone one of my friends had a long term relationship with, as shallow as it might sound being with someone who's done it all with one of your friends (not even just sexually, but emotionally speaking) thats something that will just complicate your friendship with the friend plus skeeve me out.

but if one of my friends dated my ex personally speaking id laugh my balls off at the list of problems theyd get themselves into with that effin head case, and probably would never hang out with them just bc ive worked too damn hard to cut off 100% contact

 

it's 4 years ago....ur friend must not have any feelings left for yer, thats such a long time. i think i would pursue it.

 

4 years is like it didn't happen. Don't ask him, just tell him.

 

Leave it aloneeeeeee

 

4 years????

Dont' pass up a good thing because of this stupid idea that because she dated a friend she's off limits forever. If she's worth it, go for it. Since your friend knows, all the better.

 

I understand what you mean BUT there are plenty or other women out there for me to set my sights on. I'd rather not. Plus this dude is like my brother. I've known him a little over 14yrs now and we've been tight from the beginning. This would be unnecessary drama.

I guess it would be a little different if they were just a fling, or random hookup type of deal but they were serious for a little while. I'll pass...

 

 

Depends if she dumped him or he dumped her. If he dumped her I'm not feeling too sorry if he's butt-hurt about it. I'd also mention he should grow up a little bit if this was the case.

But if she dumped him then no, not if he's really a good friend. He's probably more valuable than she is.

Often this is not 100% clear, so it depends heavily on the situation.

 

How long were they together?

 

My wife dated one of my friends a couple years before we got together.

IMO, it's been 4 years. Talk to your friend and see if he is OK with it. If he is, then go for it. If he is not, then you need to decide if his friendship is worth you dating this girl. One one hand, I think if someone gets so bent out of shape over you dating someone he is no longer interested in, then what kind of friend is he. Sounds somewhat selfish to me. Some may argue that on the other hand, you are a scumbag for dating his ex....I don't agree with that.

 

You basically can have one or the either. It's up to you to decide who is more important to you.

 

If she's not worth the drama, then absolutely friendship + no drama > drama. Good call then.

 

good job on passing, but I still would have talked to him about it. Asked him if it was cool and everything. He probably would have said it was ok just not to be a bitch you know, but you can tell when something is bothering someone.

 

I will need pics to make a judgement...

 

I'd say about 2yrs...Guesstimate...

C'mon dude seriously? lol

Did I mention he says shes crazy :shakehead

Yep

Sorry Whiskers, your going to have to use your imagination lol

 

Yeah, actually I am. I've been there, done that. I picked the girl, lost the guy as a friend. (And eventually lost the girl down the road too, and became friends with the guy again). But that's neither here nor there

 

Wow, I actually want to hear this story. Were they committed first or was it just a fling? Did you say anything to him before hand?

 

It sounds like you're not interested in her either way, so it's a non-issue.

If the connection was a strong one though, I would think you should persue it after telling your friend. Yes, tell. The dynamic between you and she could be very different that it was years ago between your friend and her. You've all grown since then. Just because he felt she was a nut may not mean that she is. It could have been your friend that was the nut. We all have friends like that.

It's been 4 years....... a long time at your age.

 

If she is willing to serve it up, I can't imagine you would stick with your "pass." Like gypsy said, you aren't interested in her or she isn't into you as much. It has been four years, go for it

 

Oh wow it was so long ago, I think I was 19 at the time. They had dated for a few months, she broke up with him but he kept grasping (and she kept talking to him). Meanwhile she met me thru him and became interested in me. Not knowing any better at the time I went for it. But then she broke up with me like 2 months later bc i was a moron that didn't know how to have a gf lol. It took a while, but once she was out of the picture the dude and I gradually became friendly again.

 

Depends on the situation. Some of my exes I wouldn't wish on any of my friends, but wouldn't care if they dated. On the other hand, if one of my friends ever dated my ex fiance, I don't think I could ever talk to them again.

 

depends on how hot she is (serious)

 

pass... bros before hoes

 

I say it does have to be with time. I did when I was in HS, both had dated others after their breakup, then we started dating, it wasn't a problem.

 

i have a freind that always says that however he always goes with the hoes before the bro's...hypocrite

 

All I needed was the thread title... No. Unless you want to lose a friend over it.. Not worth it.

 

always no. no room for any margin

 

poison poison!

 

good choice. My buddy bangs hos like there's no tomorrow but he doesn't touch a friend's ex.. We were having lunch and this luscious coke bottle thing in short shorts & tank top says hi and sits down.. she starts a convo with little things like how's life? what's up with you? and how nothing is going on in her love life, etc.. I didn't pick up on it but after she left he's was telling me how that chick has been on his nuts and leaving cues about her love life but she's a friends ex, so he always cold.. bros before hos.

 

OK....then stay away. Or decide for yourself. I dated a ton of women I thought were crazy. But it doesn't mean that they were the same with the guy after me or before. Hell, I'm not sure that I know anyone that hasn't at some point say that their ex wasn't nuts. We all do it.

 

wish that were true huh.

exactly.. this happens to my buddies as well. It's funny because they always say this after the chic breaks up with them. THey get pissed and start talking smack and somehow brings up . MAN, it's bro's before hoe's dadada..

when the girl comes along, i dont hear from my friend for days.

 

I married my ex's best friend. LOL, Worked out great for me!