fla-tls

Has anyone here ever had the topic of prior sexual relationships come up with their current SO? I know to avoid this discussion, but fell into the trap this weekend. Now I'm all pissed off and have mental images going through my head that are very disturbing.

I didn't start the conversation - but participated in it - despite knowing better.

This sucks... How do you get your mind over this?!?!

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

I learned a while ago to not do that. I have discussed past relationships with my wife, but we both agree that some details should be left out. She knows some of the chicks I have been with and I know some of her past boy friends. None of it bothers me.

driver centric

I've definitely been there, I hate talking about stuff like that but it seems like it always comes up every once in a while. Just takes time for it to go away and stop being the dominant thought in my mind.

michimonster

Everyone has a past. But there is a line which shouldnt be crossed in discussion of the past.

Mockenrue

I'd rather know than wonder about it. I don't need a ton of detail, but if you're long enough into the relationship, it's good to get it out of the way. If you end up staying together, it will become ancient history. For us, it all seems like a lifetime ago.

CUNextTuesday

I'm sure everyone who's been in any sort of relationship has had this discussion. It's never really bothered me, but it used to piss of my ex all the time. I guess cause I'm younger n we were from the same town she knew the girls I've been with before - plus she was a jealous bitch.

fdl

Did the term Finger-cuffs come up?

phipark

Yep, once it's out there, you can't take it back. I never mention anything, but my current gf keeps insisting that I tell her. The best relationship I ever had, we never once spoke about the past.

iTimmy

I think seeing that movie changed my outlook on relationships, now its a don't ask don't tell policy. I am not going to let something that happened in the past, when I didn't know her, impact the present or the future. My rule, short of banging multiple guys at once or being over triple digits, both of which would be easy to find out, I don't care - I mean really what difference does it make if your happy with someone now?

Pull_T

My policy is to disclose as little as possible...or at least attempt to do so.

Her: "How many people have you had sex with? /Who was the last girl you had sex with?"

My reply: "Well, I really don't want to get into that. I've had partners in the past and I'd assume you have as well. I'm with you now, so any details are irrelevant to me."

Her: (trying again to pull the info out of you)

My reply: "Look...even though I'm not with anyone I might have been with before, i still respect them enough to keep our private business private...just as I would do with us should anyone ever ask me."

Make it clear you're not trying to hide anything, but that you simply won't get into it.

agranado

good suggestion. I hate bringing up past relationships with SO's. Always makes me feel uncomfortable.

Pull_T

Yeah, just be resolute and refuse to discuss it. If she is *that* worried and determined about sharing the info that it is some kind of strain on the relationship, then you can see that as a trouble sign anyway. But even a broad like that, it's better for her to wonder about the broads you nailed rather than think about the broads you nailed.

Same from my end...I'd rather just assume she's had some guys dong her before and not worry about it.

BustedJack

My wife keeps asking me that question and my answer's always been " I'd rather not talk about it because I respect the ex's privacy." It works for now but she still keeps on asking every once in awhile.....

dom

At the same time how can you keep anything from your wife? I know the details aren't pretty but I can't be anything but brutally honest. The subject is brought up in more a joking manner anyway so.....

iTimmy

I was fucking my ex one night, and man her pussy got so wet, I mean way wetter then you've ever gotten

Like that type of joking manner?

dom

Something like that.

Pull_T

So your wife wears an unflattering skirt one day.

Are you brutally honest and tell her, "Honey...that skirt makes your ass look wider than usual." ?

Or if she cooks something new you think is shitty, do you tell her "I don't care for it" or "Wow...this tastes like absolute dogshit."

If you have the type or rapport that "brutal honesty" works in, then by all means tell her how this one broad in college you nailed had a better body than her and was a way better lay.

dom

Honestly doesn't have to equal being a prick. If I don't like what she's wearing I'll tell her and her me.

Again, I'll tell her I don't like it, not be a prick about it.

All your examples are examples of how not to be honest. My wife is my best friend. I can basically tell her anything.

Crazy Bimmer

I agree with Dom and im the same way.

whynot

I always love the question "you used a condom with all those women, right?"

iTimmy

"of course, they were all filthy whores" Is that the right answer?

or

"right until they end then I did a little bit of face painting and/or covered her tramp stamp"

whynot

There is no right answer.... or is there?

tlguy99

I had the "how many people have you been with" question asked recently, I was honest and answered. She then asked me if I wanted to know about her. I just said nope, and continued on with the night. Best decision I have made yet. I usually get into these discussions and then regret it later.

Crazy Bimmer

I always need to know how many, otherwise i think the worse. But I never ask for details since that would just haunt me.

I think all ladies should lie about their number to make me feel better. Thats when lying is ok.

dom

I'd like to know what got fla-tls so worked up. Was it the details or the numbers?

Pull_T

Them saying they were with fewer guys doesn't make your dong any less tiny.

whynot

very few people are honest about their "achievements"
dudes will usually give a X2 estimate and teh ladies will only admit to 1/3

Crazy Bimmer

Sure it does, they have less to compare it to.

dom

What movie was that again?

AcuracltypeS03

I hate that question too.. Or this one.. Was it better than us...

AcuracltypeS03

I hate that question too.. Or this one.. Were she better than me..

whynot

Could be American Pie...

fla-tls

I can't address that here, but I really just overreacted. She's a great woman and I just simply blew something out of proportion (it was detail related/TMI).

I'm all better now. -scratch that- We're all better now.

dom

Did you get into a fight over it?

RyanDe680

+1

I think that the underlying question on our minds though is perhaps how we rank compared to the "others" because we all want to be the best.

Mockenrue

And the flip side: how many of you have an ex that was better in bed than your current gf/bf? Does it bother you? How would you answer if the current one asks?

NewAgePirate

Officially hate to get into that. I just don't want to know a number or especially any details. I know it's immature but I can't help that shit ringing in my head / mental images. Answered the question and asked the question before. Learned my lesson. I always ask we just never discuss it and that works best for me.

NewAgePirate

I have an ex that I know pretty well no other girl will be able to top. She was WILD. Sometimes I find myself thinking about it, but then it helps that this chick was a fucking psycho and so I can always say, "well, the girl I'm with now isn't crazy, be happy about that." Because while those Buck Cherry Crazy Bitches are fun, after a while I think most guys, myself included, get sick of their shit.

Now if your best lay was actually a serious girlfriend who wasn't nuts, you might be fucked.

fla-tls

Not really. I drove her home before it got that far. Then, I spent about a day or so with it eating at my brain before I talked to her. I actually emailed first - which was good. It helped me get my thoughts organized.

A person's imagination left unchecked by reality can be their worst enemy!

CUNextTuesday

American Pie 2