Discuss...



I was sitting in class and saw this fly honey across the room wearing a mini-skirt. Well it was almost at the end of class and we got out...except for me, I had to stay after to let "things" subside...

 

My dick wakes up for no reason at all throughout the day. I've gotten used to walking around with a tent pitched.

 

:fixed:


I wonder if these jokes will get old any faster than the purse ones.

At 26, it should take more than a chic walking by to give you wood - unless you immediately started fantasizing about her.

 

when i was in middle school I got "excited" randomly in church, right before you stand up for communion. Needless to say, I skipped it that day..

 

At my PC looking at a picture of YoungTL.....Man, was my face red.....

 

Along with your palm...

Mine would probably be when I was in my early 20's and started sprouting wood when a chic was sleeping with her head on my lap. She woke up for some reason

 

Hmm, probably while I was at the World Waterpark in West Edmonton Mall, waiting for a huge line for the slides. It was a tight stairway, and crowded with people and there was this super hot dude about 2 people ahead of me. I was about 17 at the time and he looked like he was in his later teens or early twenties. Big sculpted muscles, short black hair and extremely cute, wearing tight trunks.

I popped wood and I could hear some girls behind me whispering about it. That was pretty embarrassing cause there's no hiding this wood, especially in trunks.

 

luckily for me ive never popped one that would cause me to be embarassed

 

In a hot tub at a high school pool, right before it closed. I was like 17 at the time, and was i n the tub with like 3 or 4 pretty hot chics. Def no hiding that thing. What choice do you have other than to walk it off.

 

how about making use of those 3 or 4 pretty hot chics??

 

Got semi-wood while I was getting a massage at one of those ritzy hotels. Problem was, the masseuse was a guy.

 

During a job interview. Though it couldn't be "seen", it was definitely awkward.

 

Age 19: Doctor's office while I was getting my blood pressure checked...nurse was hot

 

heh ill never forget this one russian dude on my swim team in high school, we were practicing our dives from the blocks, and this dude literally comes out of the pool with a full on hard on and to make things worse he was practicing in his speedo all the girls on the team noticed it, and all of the dudes started baggin on him, it was pretty funny.. ohh yea and it didnt only happen once

 

I get morning wood all the time when I fall asleep in class. It's always awkward cause my friends ask me on the way out: "why do you wear your backpack on the front"

I tell them because I wnat to know wat it feels like to be a mother.

 

I was in a limo that was driving my GF and her family to a funeral for her great grandmother (they weren't very close). Everyone was packed in tightly so my GF was sitting on me lap. Understand that the atmosphere is quite glum and somber.

And right on cue, my shorty feels the "pressure" from her slighly bouncing ass/motion of the car and begins it's Jekyll-Hyde transformation. I can literally feel it stretching and yawning like "OK, here we go! Let's get it started!"

Of course, my GF looks at me with an expression best described as priceless ... a combination of "WTF?!?" and "Mmm ... nice" and "You gotta to be kidding me!" She leans over and whispers, "Stop. Stop. Stop" And I whisper back, "I can't ... he's blind down there. He doesn't know what's going on." She kinda giggles and we both get a nasty look from pretty much everyone in the limo.

 

 

When I was in Grade 9 or 10, a bunch of us guys and girls were piling into a car after school to go over to someones house. The car was rammed so some hot chic needed to sit on my lap. Now at that age, to control a woodie in that situation was near impossible. I tried so hard, but every bump, every movement.... I just couldnt keep it under control. So freakn embarrassing.

 

this is similar to mine, but much funnier

 

Never had an issue like this so embarrassing I can remember it.

 

at church looking a hot young girl going for comunion... :shakehead

 

In line at a water park looking at a cheerleading group...a FEMALE cheerleading group.

 

That one made me laugh out loud pretty hard

 

At the dentist, when they put the x-ray vest on me. My penis always feels the need to do push-ups.

 

I get random wood..., on another note, but very related.

The funniest one was about my friend. We were on the wrestling team at a tournament. This one guy was just owning my friend....and he was 'mounting him'....and i guess he popped wood, not hard to see in singlets.....all I heard was a yell by my friend and he threw him off....he told me that he could feel that guys wood on his back..... My friend lost the match.

He will never live that one down.

 

I thought wrestlers wore cups

 

Some do...some dont...when I was wrestling in HS...most of the guys didnt......you see this huge bulge under your singlet.....getting hit in the balls is that big of a concern....when your adrenaline starts flowing....you dont feel it as much....

 

I get wood in all places, sitting at the Acura dealer most recently. My wood isn't big enough to be noticed though

 

me too....."he's blind down there"

 

Yeah. In retrospect it was funny. But at that time, i was stuck between a rock and hard place. Literally. And the one thing I am EXTREMELY grateful for is that my GF decided to sit on my lap.

There was a bunch of her little cousins in the limo as well. Everyone just piled in, one after another. I'm so friggin' sensitive down there, it would have been devastating if an eight-year-old girl happened to innocently sit on my lap instead of my GF. Honestly, I could have been carrying a tub of kimchee or a medieval spiked skull flail or a comatose Labrador Retriever on my lap. It wouldn't have made any difference.

Once my shorty feels the pressure, it automatically "periscopes" up just to let me know that if there's a party in my pants, it's HIS party and HE'LL do what he wants to, inflate if HE wants to, cream if HE wants to ... you would cream toooo if it happened to youuuuu.

So let me say with conviction: I'm not attracted to little girls. Nor do I have a fetish for stinky cabbage. Nor am I attracted to pain or half-dead canines. In any way or form. Well maybe a little bit of the kimchee because it reminds me of the nose-hair-burning smell of the cooch belonging to the girl I lost my virginity to. But I digress. In any event, it's the motion and sensation which triggers my boner.

So damn if one of those little girls was sliding all over my lap and squealing "weeeee" ... I would most likely be typing this in jail as my overly-protective 350-pound cellmate Bubba fixes my hair into cornrows.

 

i had my shit pop up at a bunch of inopportune times but the worst place was prolly while i was at my aunts wedding. I was on the grooms side and i was looking over at some of the girls on the other side and then my shit just went off. Im not sure if anyone noticed it but i tried to hunch over just a lil bit so nobody could see it.

 

I just my coffee onto my keyboard.

 

I used to work for a gas station that also served ice cream. So my duties consisted of running back and forth betwen the counter where the troglodytes bought their gas, lottery tickets, porno, and beer and the counter where the fat obnoxious moms bought their four ugly chunky kids milkshakes. No I did not like the job in case that wasn't clear.

So I was scooping ice cream for a bunch of high school age girls (think 14 and 15 year old girls). To scoop the ice cream you have to lean forward against the ice cream chest. Unfortunately the friction was a bit much for me at the time (I was 17) and out came the wood. All of the girls noticed .. it was horrible.

 

Fixed.

 

that is hilarious...

 

I love your choice of words......

 

You're hilarious!

 

It happens more often than you might think. Usually the friction and pressure is enough to get a guy going, even if it was against a firm pad. Although the other wrestler could have been gay. I quit wrestling halfway through grade 11 cause the chances of being the opponent of someone hot were too much.

 

I got woken from the dead, so to speak, when my nurse told me to do the "turn-and-cough" routine at a physical. I was probably 14 or 15. Very embarrasing.

 

must have left that part out heh