teh CL

iTrader: (1)

Never post in here at all but I thought I’d share this to get your opinions on it..its a long read i know, there's cliffs for the lazy..

Alrite..well my buddy has been going out with this chick for almost 2 years now and they just broke up in January over another chick. We always use to hang out together and i became pretty good friends with her. In Sept. us 3 went away to school together and lived in residence & that’s where my buddy met this other chick.

Anyways, fast forward to January, probably the 2nd week back from Christmas break. I end up getting evicted from Residence (that’s a whole other story ) & the next day they break up. Interesting couple of days to say the least. So since i got the boot the residence booked a room at the Travelodge for me to stay in till i could find a place for the rest of the semester to stay. I was in there for about a week and a half cuz i had no luck finding anywhere to stay. Anyways, while i stayed there (lets call her Ali) came over a couple of times with another buddy from res to chill cuz i had no one & she really didn’t have many ppl to chill with back at the res. We chilled & she stayed over a couple of nights but nothing went down at all.

Since i had no luck finding a place to stay after the week and a half Ali talked to her aunt that lives down the street from the school to see if i could stay there. It ended up working out mint for me since it was so close to the school but this is where it started to get interesting. Of course my buddy finds out about this and isn't impressed at all cuz well its his buddy staying with his ex’s family. I understood where he was coming from but i really didn’t think that much of it cuz i needed a place to stay and they offered so i couldn’t pass it up.

So Ali would come over to her aunts enough during the week to see the kids and what not so of course i would end up chilling with her cuz its kind of hard to avoid her in her aunts house. We ended chillen enough since i would go home on the weekends and she would come with since we both had no reason to stay up at school (only a hour away)..anyways, we got pretty close & i didn’t really talk to my buddy as much anymore. I would go to class and he wouldn’t show (we had the exact schedule) so it was kind of hard to chill since I wasn’t allowed back in res and he for obvious reasons wouldn’t come chill where I was staying. Me & Ali started becoming closer the more we chilled and we we’re pretty open with each other and talked about anything/everything. Her aunt went away for a week in like February so I had the whole house to myself so of course she came over to chill & ended up staying over a few nights. We ended up hooking up but we knew that there was nothing serious going on between us & that we were still just friends.

Anyways, people were telling my buddy that we were seeing each other and all that which he wasn’t pleased about especially with the fact that im staying with her aunt still bugging him. So I talked to him and asked what he was hearing then told him that it was all BS and that there was nothing going on with us, just that we’re friends and that im staying with her family. He was cool with it just hated hearing about it which I could understand but he knew none of the shit he was hearing was true.

Everything was cool and fine up to maybe like 2 weeks ago when my buddy texts her saying he wants to talk so that they can be cool with each other so that we all could chill with no issues. So whatever, the next week they end up having a huge talk but for some reason she wouldn’t/wont tell me what was said at all. I told her my opinion on the whole thing of them talking again cuz my buddy just ended shit with the other chick he left Ali for and they were now “just friends” then randomly starts talking to her again. I have nothing against my buddy but being as good friends as I was with Ali I told her that I think he’s just talking to her again so that he can be able to get with her again & that if she lets that happen that she’s gonna get played yet again. She knew where I was coming from and said that she wont let anything happen & that she just wanted everything to be cool between them so that everyone could chill again.

So its been like 2 weeks since they talk and when I ask her what happened she said they talked and that she didn’t want to talk about it. I was like WTF? Mostly because there’s nothing we haven’t talked about then she comes out and says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Of course im thinking that my buddy said something to her to win her over & seems like it worked but she tells me that they’re just friends yet she refuses to tell me what’s going on. She wont tell me why she wont tell just that “she cant” which I cant understand except that they’re getting close again and she doesn’t want to tell me cuz she knows how I’ll react. Now she gets all worked up with me if I ask & pretty much we haven’t really been the same since they started talking again.

So my question is: am I in the wrong here for wanting to know so that I can talk to her about it cuz whatever was said that night must have been something if she refuses to tell me. I just feel like he’s messing with her head again and she’s letting him but wont admit it. Im not doing this out of jealousy or anything like that, Im just looking out for her being as good of friends as we’ve been & cuz I know the most about the whole situation.

Anyways, opinions..


Cliff notes
- buddy goes out with girl for almost 2 years, we're all good friends
- she comes away to school with us
- buddy gets interested in another chick which leads to them breaking up
- i get evicted from residence the day before they break up, have no place to stay & cant find anything so my buddies ex tells me i can stay with her aunt till school done
- buddy aint pleased but i couldnt pass up the chance cuz i needed a place to stay
- Me and Ali become good friends since she would come over all the time to her aunts & we'd chill
- We become even closer as time passes and are open with each other & talk about everything..end up hookin up
- still just friends & everything was cool till my buddy starts talkin to her again
- Since we talked about everything i ask her how things went with him, she refuses to tell me & her excuse is that she "cant tell me"
- i cant understand it & tell her that i think she is gonna get played again but she says she wont that they're jsut friends
- she gets worked up if i ask whats goin on & still refuses to talk..been like 2 weeks and we havent really been the same since..

amisconception

Well, it won't be the same, so you'll have to learn get over it.

There's nothing really to say here. A girl got in between you and your friend. He wants to hookup with her, she's open to it, and you're getting involved where you have no business getting involved.

Find other girls man. You've hooked up with this chick, so for you to say she's "just a friend" and that you're "looking out for her" is disingenuous. Don't be a chump. Let your buddy (if he still considers you a friend) do what he's going to do with that girl and just be happy you have a place to stay. Don't shit where you sleep.

doopstr

Move along, else you lose your friend too.

JS + XES

iTrader: (1)

don't shit where you sleep.

yes!

swift22

I would punch your buddy in the face. Seriously.

Or ...have fun ask what he thinks of her and record it on your phone. I am sure once you play it for her that she wont like what she hears. Of course at this point you're no longer buddies. Its up to you which you value more for friendship.

1Louder

I think Amis has it right. You and this girl are just in that "good friends that hooked up once" category. I think a lot of guys have at least one of those. But, she's not into you for any more than that - fairly clear from her reaction to your friend coming back around. There's no up-side to you getting in the middle of this. You're only going to piss one or both of them off, then you'll add homelessness to your list of worries.

Let it go, stay out of it, and go find that hot girl in class you've always wanted to talk to but haven't yet.

Dicorp

nothing i hate more than that stupid term "hooked up"


you should have messed with a friend's ex. bad move on your part.

TzarChasm

Messing with a friend's ex = Bad Karma. You are a bad friend, both to the girl and to the guy.

You are pretending to be friends with the girl when actually you want to have a relationship with her. You are also hoping to get between your friend and this girl so that you can have her. Grow up and find your own girl already.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

OK....I will probably get flamed for this....

My wife dated a friend of mine before we "hooked-up." So, I know about dating ex's of friends.

You better make damn sure that she is worth messing up a friendship. Because even if you choose to remain friends with her, you buddy seems to be the type to forgive and forget. Personally, I think she seems to be the better friend, but that's just me.

For me....my friend and I resolved most of our issues. But most people don't. Still, it was the best decision I ever made.

anarchy[sear]

iTrader: (1)

It seems like you have some jealousy issue going which means you might have developed some feelings for this girl (1st bad). Whatever conversations that your friend and this girl had is unfortunately none of your business even though you guys talked about almost everything. If you keep pushing her and asking her what they talked about she is gonna get pisssed off of you and not talk to you at all(2nd bad). Dissing your friend to this girl isn't the smartest thing to do either. If anything you should be supportive and hope everything works out because now you look like your insensitive and girls hate that(3rd bad).

This post seems to have all kinds of bad coming out of it. Not to be a dick because I understand why you had to move where you moved. But you ultimately made the decisions that could have been easily prevented and that was not to "hook up" with her.
Now you carry this burden and hopefully your friend never finds out that this happened.

RMATIC09

Leave them alone. It wont end well.

bigmark89

+1 for not fuckin around or even being friends with a friends ex, especially if you and your friend are close. IMO its just a dick move and it goes against guy code, which my friends and I live by.

-Mark

swift22

Wait am i the only one that thinks the "buddy" is the real douche. I mean he only wants her back because HE is jealous of what his friend now has with is ex. Thats the way i look at it. Maybe they hooked-up more than once(to lazy to reread), and maybe they both have stronger feelings for one another but to afraid to admit it right now.

anarchy[sear]

iTrader: (1)

Yeah his friend is a douche too but his friend did date the girl for two years so I am sure there is still some kind of feeling there and op cant really get mad about it. There is a fine line that shouldn't be crossed though with flirting with friends ex's let alone hook up.

CL-S1359

I think you shouldnt have been such a pusy. maybe found some balls and told ur bud. but no your pathetic and post on a f*kn forum for love. ill tell u wut WE talkd about. she told me how you set me out to dry everyday and ur obssesd wit her and she tells u she wnts nothin wit u. but u keep ditchn ur friends for her thinknn ur gettin something out of it? and why would i be a d bag buddy who said so. wanna come punch me do it? u kno nothing of the b/s i delt wit for 2yrs. good job tho allan. f** dumbass

u think i wasnt on azine?

Rounder

AMGala

iTrader: (4)

FirePR2002

oh boy!

godizus

Bwahahahahahahaha!

Ok, got that out of my system. Dude you are dead wrong. You don't mess with your boy's ex...if you do you have to man up and tell him about it. He should trump anything you think you have with her....but it looks like you've already been called out on it so...

CocheseUGA

It must be your elite computer skills.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

lyve

uh oh.. WOW what a twist this is better then a movie on FX right now..did we go to commercial....

Infamous425

bout time this thread got intersting

RMATIC09

sweeeet

CJITTY

oh gawdddammm, bout to be some boxin' up in this bitch...ROFL..WOW!!

BraveDemon

Wow. I hope this thread gets interesting now.

For whatever its worth OP, I personally think its messed up to sleep with a friend's ex's - especially if it was someone he dated for two years. I'm assuming by how you told your friend that everything people were saying is "BS" that you didn't tell your friend you hooked up with her. IMO, if you were my friend, I'd probably knock you out, not for sleeping with her, but for lying to my face.

And yeah. Good job posting about a problem on a site where your friend can read your douche baggery. You reap what you sow.

invisiblewar

everyone in that situation is a douche.

you for sleeping with a 'buddys' ex...against the rule book bro
him for doing what hes done to the girl
her for ...well she just wanted some dick to get over your 'buddy'

Scottman111

Ah this is hilarious. OP was on late last night...doubt we'll hear from either of them though.

myron

iTrader: (4)

is anyone else seeing that there is a 3-way about to happen? Or maybe I am just too filthy minded haha

FreedomEagle50

I think it's only you bro

Gfaze

ludachrisvt

iTrader: (2)

her = attention seeking whore.
you = asshole "friend".

end.

evilone

god damn this thread had some "potential" when the d-bag buddy posted up. but now I think the OP is running with his tail between his legs. Oh and to the D-bag buddy if you think this is a "love forum" you haven't been in this sub section very much..

teh CL

iTrader: (1)

oh im not running anywhere. I actually completely forgot about this thread till he brought it back up again.

As for everyone who thinks that i was jealous or whatever, you can believe what you want but that wasnt the case at all. I guess i really had this all commin since i left this thread up instead of deleting it earlier but shit happens.

The only thing i dont get is that why do you gotta come here and post up shit like i was obsessed with her & that i was ditchin my friends which is far from the truth..you guys can believe what you want cuz it doesnt affect me either way but im not gonna start a flame war on here cuz it just aint worth it, no matter how bad you guys want it..

& at the "love" forum

phee

iTrader: (5)

homeless yet?

teh CL

iTrader: (1)

homeless? schools been out for like a month..

wouldnt of been homeless either way..