What would you do?
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From: Somewhere between here and there, yet neither.
Originally Posted by WdnUlik2no
married 5 years. don't even get me started on why she doesnt work. Its always an excuse. She says she's looking but noone is hiring. She doesn't like the hours she's offered. One time she quit a job her first day just because the boss wasn't happy with her work and asked her to do it again. Another time she quit because she didn't like the job. Another time she got fired because people complained about her. I have been working since I was 16, and she hasn't held a job more than a year and she's 26. And her last job she held longer than 2 weeks was over 4 years ago.
I have no control over her credit cards, if she wants to jack up her credit thats on her. Everything including the house is in my name only. I have her as an authorized user on two of my credit cards (AMEX and Mastercard), The Mastercard is used mainley for emergencies and the AMEX is for groceries. She tried to charge up my cards at first, but I stopped that before it got out of hand. I question every charge that she makes outside of the groceries and gas, and she doesn't like that so she keeps that to a minimum.
She doesn't believe in saving money, which is a big problem as well.
I have no control over her credit cards, if she wants to jack up her credit thats on her. Everything including the house is in my name only. I have her as an authorized user on two of my credit cards (AMEX and Mastercard), The Mastercard is used mainley for emergencies and the AMEX is for groceries. She tried to charge up my cards at first, but I stopped that before it got out of hand. I question every charge that she makes outside of the groceries and gas, and she doesn't like that so she keeps that to a minimum.
She doesn't believe in saving money, which is a big problem as well.
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Safety Car
Joined: Jun 2005
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From: Atlanta
Originally Posted by LatinSmoke 01CL
What bank to you use?? If its WAMU, I may be able to help you out...
My mortgage is with WAMU, but I use Wachovia for my accounts. She uses Wachovia too, but a seperate account.
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Safety Car
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From: Atlanta
Originally Posted by moomaster_99
Actually, since you guys are married....all that stuff will fall on you. Time to tell her to get a job.
I've been telling her for the past 4 1/2 years; still doesn't have a job.
I love cars!
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From: TEXAS
^^Which is why I said they need a joint account and they need to work AS A COUPLE on the finances. Having his and hers when it comes to money is not a good long-term solution. May I suggest: http://tinyurl.com/ce4sp
It's working for my wife and me.
It's working for my wife and me.
The Third Ball
Joined: Sep 2002
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From: Los Angeles, Ca
Originally Posted by fast-tl
^^Which is why I said they need a joint account and they need to work AS A COUPLE on the finances. Having his and hers when it comes to money is not a good long-term solution. May I suggest: http://tinyurl.com/ce4sp
It's working for my wife and me.
It's working for my wife and me.
Suzuka Master
Joined: Jul 2005
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From: Virginia
Originally Posted by The Sarlacc
5 years...doesnt sound like she is too keen on working on anything.
I hope you dont pay any more of her overdraft fees, otherwise this kinda BS will happen again. I couldnt stand having to pay for someone elses stupidity.
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Safety Car
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From: Atlanta
Originally Posted by SakiGT
Sounds to me like you knew what you were getting into 5 years ago 
If she doesn't want to work, maybe she should take some classes or SOMEthing.
If she doesn't want to work, maybe she should take some classes or SOMEthing.
Even though she sits at home all day she doesn't do anything either. Doesn't clean up or nothing just watches TV and sleeps. So when I get home from work, I have to do all the housework too.
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Safety Car
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From: Atlanta
Originally Posted by Mike97 3.0P
You seriously need to have a long convo or even couseling or a divorce. I wouldn't stand for that shit. How old is she? She sounds very immature or at least irresponsible.
Last edited by WdnUlik2no; Feb 14, 2006 at 12:25 PM.
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From: Somewhere between here and there, yet neither.
Originally Posted by WdnUlik2no
I've been thinking about all 3. Convos don't work at all i've tried and they don't work. She just turns it around on me like I'm the one that's wrong. I doubt counseling would work either because she doesn't like when people disagree with her. I am strongly considering divorce and she doesn't have long to change her ways; I am just about fed up. She's 26, and yes very immature and irresponsible. It's a damn shame I am going to have to hire a maid to do housecleaning while I'm at work.
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Safety Car
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From: Atlanta
Originally Posted by moomaster_99
Is she at least a freak in bed??? Does she invite her hot friends to come over and play???
If I told her I lost 30K in salary, she would just figure thats still 20K more than I used to make. wouldn't work.
Last edited by WdnUlik2no; Feb 14, 2006 at 05:25 PM.
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Safety Car
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From: Atlanta
Originally Posted by WdnUlik2no
hahahaha, that would be something if she invited her friends over to "play"! She does have a freakish side though.
If I told her I lost 30K in salary, she would just figure thats still 20K more than I used to make. wouldn't work.
If I told her I lost 30K in salary, she would just figure thats still 20K more than I used to make. wouldn't work.
No longer in denial
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From: Bay Area, CA
Sounds to me like she's leeching off you. Why should she work when you're pulling in all the money? I hate people like that, maybe you weren't able to see that clearly when you first married her, but people's true colors sometimes take awhile to shine. If I were you put your foot down, tell her that her lazy ass needs to get a job or she's out the door.
Suzuka Master
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From: Virginia
wow man, i couldnt deal with that BS.
Mike's theory might prove true, i never thought of it til he mentioned it. My friends' wife stayed at home all the time, didnt do crap around the house ( seems to be a problem in the military, but thats another issue). Turns out she was severely depressed. He never thought of it cause she didnt talk to him.
good luck. If she wont talk, drag her to a counseler, cant really hurt if she wont talk to you.
Mike's theory might prove true, i never thought of it til he mentioned it. My friends' wife stayed at home all the time, didnt do crap around the house ( seems to be a problem in the military, but thats another issue). Turns out she was severely depressed. He never thought of it cause she didnt talk to him.
good luck. If she wont talk, drag her to a counseler, cant really hurt if she wont talk to you.
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Safety Car
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From: Atlanta
Originally Posted by PsychoInDenial
Sounds to me like she's leeching off you. Why should she work when you're pulling in all the money? I hate people like that, maybe you weren't able to see that clearly when you first married her, but people's true colors sometimes take awhile to shine. If I were you put your foot down, tell her that her lazy ass needs to get a job or she's out the door.
What you are saying does seem to make sense. She didn't stop working until a few months after we moved in together. Then the baby was still pretty young so that was pretty understandable. After he got daycare age and I bought the house she got a job but got fired a week later for not doing a good job. As my income starting going up it seemed she was less willing to get a job.
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Safety Car
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From: Atlanta
Originally Posted by saiko_cl_duck
wow man, i couldnt deal with that BS.
Mike's theory might prove true, i never thought of it til he mentioned it. My friends' wife stayed at home all the time, didnt do crap around the house ( seems to be a problem in the military, but thats another issue). Turns out she was severely depressed. He never thought of it cause she didnt talk to him.
good luck. If she wont talk, drag her to a counseler, cant really hurt if she wont talk to you.
Mike's theory might prove true, i never thought of it til he mentioned it. My friends' wife stayed at home all the time, didnt do crap around the house ( seems to be a problem in the military, but thats another issue). Turns out she was severely depressed. He never thought of it cause she didnt talk to him.
good luck. If she wont talk, drag her to a counseler, cant really hurt if she wont talk to you.
Suzuka Master
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Stay at home moms are very important...IF shes carrying her load. Watching TV and sleeping doesnt sound like that. But then again, we only have your side of the story and I dont think anyone should be saying "divorce her" if you dont know the facts.
Does she clean? Cook Dinner? Do laundry? Anything?
Regardless you need to have a talk. Let her know how you feel and then shut up. Let her defend her actions. If she can't suggest she take classes or get a PT job...in any case, things cannot continue the way they are going.
Does she clean? Cook Dinner? Do laundry? Anything?
Regardless you need to have a talk. Let her know how you feel and then shut up. Let her defend her actions. If she can't suggest she take classes or get a PT job...in any case, things cannot continue the way they are going.
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Safety Car
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From: Atlanta
Originally Posted by SakiGT
Stay at home moms are very important...IF shes carrying her load. Watching TV and sleeping doesnt sound like that. But then again, we only have your side of the story and I dont think anyone should be saying "divorce her" if you dont know the facts.
Does she clean? Cook Dinner? Do laundry? Anything?
Regardless you need to have a talk. Let her know how you feel and then shut up. Let her defend her actions. If she can't suggest she take classes or get a PT job...in any case, things cannot continue the way they are going.
Does she clean? Cook Dinner? Do laundry? Anything?
Regardless you need to have a talk. Let her know how you feel and then shut up. Let her defend her actions. If she can't suggest she take classes or get a PT job...in any case, things cannot continue the way they are going.
She does not want to work. She could easily find a PT job, but no she perfers to sit at home and do nothing and watch me do all the work. When she did get a job she quit after the very first day because the boss was not happy with her work and politely asked her could she come and do it again the next time she came in. Instead of doing that she copped an attitude and just told the boss to go fuck himself (not in those words) and she quit.
Plain lazy. She is 26 years old and is not going to change. She will be 40 years old and still not have a job I bet. I see why I am tired all time. Working 8 - 10 days everyday, coming home have to clean the whole house by myself, mow the lawn and do the laundry.