So my cousin's wedding was this past Sunday and she introduced me to one of her bridesmaids in a sort of awkward way...we were at my cousin's house and I jokingly asked if she sat me next to any hot single girls...she says no but then goes and grabs her bridesmaid out of the blue and introduces us and points to her and says "hot single girl" points to me and says "cute single cousin" laughs and leaves...we literally just introduce ourselves before she had bridesmaids duties to do so that was it.

Later on at the wedding reception another cousin who's a bridesmaid, takes a drink out of my hands and put her in my arms and we slow dance to some extent...we both just sway while talking. Then my bride cousin takes her to grab some pics. Danced a little bit more later on to some r&b and hip hop with my whole family crowding around and all.

She ended up leaving with out me knowing...I saw her get changed out of her dress and into jeans/tshirt but she left before I could say bye...I thought she was still running some errands but apparently not. Anyway, my dilemma is what now? I do find her to be pretty damn cute (i don't have any pics yet so no "pics or gtfo" comments hahah) but i don't know what to do. i have her number cuz i have a schedule of events and contacts of people to call in case my cousin needed my help but she doesn't know i have it and i don't have her email and she doesn't have facebook...i want to ask my cousin for some more info on her but other than that not sure how else to approach this...any advice?

 

should have asked for her number when you had the chance.

Dont call, cuz that would be creepy.
forget about her.

or you could ask your cousin to invite her out somewhere, like in a big group.

 

Yea I was gonna ask for her number but she always ended up being busy before I got a chance to...she's in the nursing program at Stony Brook...that's all she was able to tell me before she had bridesmaid stuff...blehhh. I was definitely not going to call her but I do want to get in contact with her...doubt my cousin can set up something...being newly married plus she's living in Jersey now...I'll try to get her to do something...thanks crabby

 

There is nothing you can do really, IMO. If you pursue, you will be trying too hard. Sometimes they get away, sometimes you get another chance. Don't dwell on that chance though b/c if it comes you don't want to make it seem like it's a big deal. Play it cool and your chance will come.



Also, I saw you one the 8th Gen Accord forums. Do you still have one?

 

Damn it..I did not mean it that way...wish i did
Yea I usually wouldn't pursue something like this...but the fact that she didn't shy away from slow dancing with me and we had a fun time leads me to think there's opportunity there...plus my whole family (extended also) saw us together and they're all egging me on. My younger cousins are all like "you should go out with her. she's so nice..etcetc" I do want to ask my cousin if there's any baggage I should know about...i've met too many girls recently with shit tons of baggage...

No longer have an Accord...it was the gf's at the time...she wouldn't let me do much with it cuz she wanted us to save money but now we're no longer together so I got myself my own car and I do what I want to it. I like the upgrade from the accord -> TSX...definitely well worth it.

 

I'd talk to your cousin and just say, hey what was up with that girl at the wedding. See if you can get her number or permission from her to contact, go from there and profit

 

^That's good. It goes along the lines of playing it cool which is key. Interested, but not too interested.



I also knew what you meant about the dress, but I had to have fun with it.

 

I'm in the "what have you got to lose" camp on this one. So you avoid her to "not seem desperate"...and then what? Never see her again? She forgets you because you didn't express any interest? Doing nothing is the fastest way to guarantee that nothing happens IMO.

If it were me, I'd call your cousin, and contact her and ask her out. What's the worst that can happen? If she says yes, you win. If she says no, you now have that knowledge and can move on.

When did following up with a cute girl become "desperate"? Its not like you built a Facebook fan page devoted to her or something...

 

do nothing = fail
do something = possible success with likely fail

Go for it. It costs you nothing but time.

 

Wait is that NOT the right way to go about this...?
*logs into facebook for some quick deleting...*

 

:stalker:

 

I guess I shouldn't have said there is nothing you can do. I should say there IS too much you can do. Like I mentioned about BlackAck's comment, you want to show interest, but not too much interest. A kind of, "yeah, it'd be cool to see her again." Not a, "man, I've been thinking about her non-stop." There is a fine line in the pursuit of one that has gotten away between stalker and worthy.

 

If you're interested in talking to her -- call. There's no real rule about calling/not calling even though some people have weird calculations on 'what's too soon' etc. People who are really interested in each other often call and meet up the very next day -- ask some married couples and you will see that when they want to hang out, they drop all the silly 'rules' and don't waste time seeing each other again.

Basically, do what you want without worrying about how you'll be perceived. If you call, she'll know you're interested. If you don't call, you'll miss the chance of anything coming from this (not that there's any guarantee she'll reciprocate). Guess it depends on if the chance of learning more about her is worth it to your ego or not.

 

I have done this before and it does work, sometimes

 

^this

 

find her on your cousin's facebook friends list and creep the f**k out of her

Or you can ask your cousin to talk to her and see if it's ok if you give her a call.

 

I guess you can wait, but I don't really agree. Why not just ask your cousin if she thinks her friend may be interested and ask for her number? What do you have to lose. Either you try and fail or never have a chance at all. Or maybe you try and it works out. You never know if you don't try.

 

Alright so my cousin asked for me and she got the okay for me to get her contact info which she gave me right away. I'm gonna email her first but not really sure what to say aside from referencing the wedding night, how it was, etc. One thing my cousin said is that she's not desperate and she'll drop me the instant I act like a douchebag...lol I thought that was pretty funny.

 

^you're in.

you've already built rapport.
you're golden.


Just dont be a dbag.

 

"Email her first"?? WTF?!

You've got the green light. Just call her-- not e-mail!!-- and say you enjoyed hanging with her at the wedding, then ask her out on a normal non-stalkerish date.






Since no one else asked, pics?

 

^wil Y has the right idea.

dont be a pussy and email.

 

LOL...yes well I emailed first and it's fine. She replied back within 5 minutes...also said she does not like talking on the phone and would rather text...which is perfectly fine by me since I'm the same way. I asked her when she'll be back in NYC and she said Thanksgiving so I'll be sure to think of something for then. AND she said she owes me a dance without me even suggesting it...:P

No pics yet...hell I don't even have a pic of her...gotta wait for wedding photos to sprout up from family members...actually lemme go find my dad's camera...she might be there somewhere...well I'll do it tomorrow...parents are sleeping already.

 

^player player.

 

Well shit. I'm an idiot. Good job not listening to me. Maybe I should follow your lead.

I also would have warned against email.

 

Good luck dont be a dbag. Let us know what happens, make sure to keep in contact with her so when she comes back she can give u that "dance"

 

damnit just be active about something and see if she wants to come along. You could do some research first and ask your cousin what she likes to do, or just find something cool and say hey do you like X? i'm gonna go do X, you wanna come?

X = Interesting art show, sport activity, festival/fair, farmers market, etc.

 

For a second I thought you said your cousin was hot and that is who you like judging on how you wrote your second paragraph.

 

I had to reread too just to make sure

 

Yea I know, it's a bit harder since she's in Stony Brook for nursing and I'm in the NYC. I just mentioned an art exhibit at a museum that looked interesting so we'll see if she bites.

As for pics, I'm not sure if she'd be happy about posting her pic online, she doesn't seem like the type to be all for it and although the chances of her running across this forum are slim, I'd rather not chance it. I will however pm people who have given me some good advice.

 

^

 

Pics or gtfo

 

What about people who have given you the exact opposite advice of what worked?

 

They get banned...

 

 

Am I on the PM list? If so, noodz are acceptable.

 

MrStak, you had a good chance to get her number bro, don't beat yourself up. If you really like her do whatever it takes to contact her and be real with her about it. If she likes you she will like that you went the extra mile just for her. If it all fails then it wasn't meant to be. On to the next one. 2 cents

 

You didn't bang her at the wedding??

Strike when the metal is hot. Youth is truly wasted.

 

Sounds really good dude.

 

sorry man, that sounds boring. you want a first date something for her to remember you by. i doubt she'd go for that but who knows?

my first date with my gf started out by her wanting to meet at barnes and noble. but since it was october then, I suggested we take it up a notch and went to a local oktoberfest festival. had some bratwursts, checked out the different displays and went dancing the night away.

art exhibits at a museum is more like an 8th or 10th date man. just speaking from experience. last thing you want since you're trying to make an impression, is to seem boring. thats just what an art exhibit is, unless she is very much in to that.

 

Take the train from the city out to Stonybrook to visit her at school? LIRR Port Jefferson Branch. It will be hour and a half or so ride...