I've always had this problem of getting nervous to the point of nauseating myself when it came to talking to girls (well mostly thinking about approaching them), but lately I'm getting better, but still nowhere near where I need to be. I know full well that when I DO talk to random girls nothing bad ever happens, and even good things do sometimes. But i can't seem to get that into my subconscious.

Take today for instance, im eating lunch in the caf. and see this cute girl ive seen sitting near me at lunch before walk right past me and sit down. Usually she's with her friends but today she sits down alone, so i think its my big chance. Well of course i get all nervous and shit and pussy out. I don't know if i was afraid of rejection or what; i wasn't really planning to ask her anything other than "how's it goin, are you new here?" (since she looks about my age) and seeing where it goes from there. Then her ugly friends come over and sit down with her.

So i could barely stomach my lunch and couldn't concentrate on the newspaper i was reading. I know confidence is the root of all this, but i feel pretty confident about my looks, brains, humor, blah blah blah, but once again maybe i cant get that into my subconscious either and make it a part of how i act.

Maybe I have a small case of Social Anxiety Disorder. I do get nervous in other situations, but most of them have something to do with a female. I guess I'm just venting, but if anybody can relate i'd love to know how to get over this. I know i have decent game (since when im not nervous for some reason i get good results) but usually im too nervous to use it lol.

 

sounds like me when i was 16

 

i'm kinda like that too...

so i usually do a beer bong first..then i'm good to go...


no seriously....everybody says it, but it's true...the more you do it, the easier it gets...
you will run into some bitches who will be rude to you, but don't let that get you down...nobody is "too good" for you to talk to..



do you have trouble speaking in front of crowds as well?

 

No, but I used to. I had to take a public speaking class to graduate high school and i hated it at first, but after making a speech once a week for a whole semester, i got over that.

I used to dread job interviews, but once i got to around my 15th one and final few rounds, I went in with the attitude "just give me this job and let me get the hell outta here, ive said the same thing to 4 different people." And well that's probably why i have a job now.

Common denominator: it seems when someone forces me or I absolutely have to do something that makes me nervous, i rise to the occasion and overcome, but no one is forcing me to talk to girls, so there's no sense of urgency there.

I'm tryin this "talk to one random girl even if it's only 1 sentence everyday" thing. Maybe that'll help.

 

"nice shoes" is always a good comment...

 

Paxil...

 

Throw up in front of her...that's always a good ice breaker.

 

You're just having a conversation... You're trying to qualify HER, not the other way around. The power is in YOUR hands, not hers.

If she's cool and she doesn't like you, it happens, oh well... Her loss. But if you were just trying to talk to her and she freaked out (if that happens), you don't want a part of that anyway. It's a numbers game. No one has to know, you don't have to tell the world you were rejected by a pyscho chick, you'll eventually forget about it and it'll become easier and easier.

Just keep it light and casual, she'll show you in a roundabout way if she likes you or not.
I understand being nervous, but sick to your stomach? You may really have Social Anxiety Disorder.

 

just pull out your penis in front of her. She will have to respond to that since she will obviously see that you have no balls.

 

i'm like that

 

ouch!

 

I can totally relate! I deal with that shit all the time. and its just recently that I am slowly overcoming it but nowhere close to where I should be too. I feel ya bro!

 

Talking to girls is easy. The best way of doing it is strike up a conversation about something they're wearing. Something like, "Nice boots, how much did they cost?" or something. Girls love to brag about expensive clothes they bought (in my experience). Just let her do most of the talking.

 

I was the same until I got addicted to oxycontin.

 

This message brought to you by.............Whiskers & Chef Chris..................

Your friendly neighborhood anxiety experts.

(Please buy more Paxil...we own stock...thank you)

 

We are the resident Paxil pushers......

 

I hate to tell you this. but you are normal.. Just called being shy. I was like that when I was your age and I am still that way. I just can't walk up to a girl and chat her up no matter what.....

Keep fighting it and just build up the courage. You'll get shot down and feel like shit but at least you tried.

I remember having to pick up the courage to ask this one girl to dance at a local night club and the bitch said no. It was pretty embarrassing but like I said, just try...

 

Sore throat, Paxil...backache, Paxil...hemmorroids, Paxil...Paxil, cause it fixes your shizzle.

New jingle, like it?

 

If you don't try, you'll never succeed. Plus, practice makes perfect, etc al.

 

You don't have any disorders. There is nothing wrong with you. What you feel is completely normal.

It's a shame that in today's culture, they have to make anything into a disorder. OK, if you're a little hyper, oh now you have ADD and we have to give you a drug. You're shy, oh now you have Social Anxiety Disorder and we have to give you a drug. You get my drift?

OK, back on topic. Don't sweat getting nervous. Shit I've talked to hundreds of women in my life, and I still get nervous and I'm 30. It's normal. Not everyone is a super extrovert pulling conversation out they ass type person. I know I'm not and if you aren't it's ok. Just learn some basics and you'll be fine.

Another thing, the women themselves often get nervous at the beginnning of the conversation as well. Remember that the next time you talk to a woman. For example, have you had a woman giggle nervously when you approach and talk to them? That's the woman being nervous. It happens to them too, so don't stress about it. Just do your thing.

As far as getting over it? Try this for an exercise. Say a friendly hello to every attractive woman you see for a week. I did something similar to this and it gave me a big boost of confidence. You realize women aren't that scary.

 

Just go up to her and start humping her leg, she'll notice you.

 

Your fine, just do it, but if you have one of those dodgeball moments, get to the bathroom ASAP.

 

Well thanks for all the advice fellas and ladies.

 

Just one more thing to say on this. I was just like you at 21. At about 30 I realized that most girls find it very sweet that a guy is nervous talking to her. By the way, the girls are nervous when you approach too!!

So just be yourself, remember that everyone gets nervous in this situation.

 

Think of it like a job interview, and you can take this with you in the future, your selling yourself. If you tell yourself that this company needs you and not the other way around, your more likely to get the job. Same with girls, make them think they need you and not so much that you need them. Kinda hard to explain clearly but I think you get the idea.

 

Good advice