Is the relationship over?

Are you all of a sudden more curious about seeing other people?

Are you easier to tempt?

It feels empty without it... I've never experienced this before...

This is the "Generalization Hour" OK Let's talk generally.

 

You can't end a relationship just because passion is gone, that's why relationships involve commitment. Besides, it sometimes comes back out of the blue.

 

eh, yeah it dies down a little, but if you really love the other person it wont matter. I personally would gladly trade all the romance and passion for what I have now. I can completely be myself, do anything around him, tell him anything.. and not have to worry about shit.. we know eachother very very well and its very nice just to have someone their for you because they truly want to be with you, not cause theres good sex or something

if the real love is there, it wont matter that the passion is gone.

 

thanks sasha and rachel.

i needed to hear that.

 

I definitely agree with the ladies. The passion can be rekindled if the love is truly there. A relationship that is built on real loving qualities can still go on even if things have died down a bit.

 

 

I think there has to be passion at some point or it's a dying cause.

If you had it & it went away...maybe you need to work on it.

If you had it & it feels like it's gone for good(as in you are a young-in and you've both grown out of each other) ...move on. Life is too short to waste on a life of 'comfortable' relationships.

I know of what I speak...having this crisis currently.

 

Spice it up, mix it up. When youre in an amazing relationship with someone you learn something new everyday and it helps keep things going. I think everything plateaus eventually but its only for a short time. You'll figure it out

 

well, it was the reason i broke up with my ex. i basically fell out of love with him..

i think a strong emotional connection is important no matter what. you have to want to be with the person in order for it to work.

 

Agreed.

There is a big difference between getting in a rut & losing passion from a relationship.

 

What do you do when the passion fades?

You rekindle it. Do nice things, do romantic things. To me passion has little to do with sex and everything to do with acts of love. Loving somebody (action) takes some amount of effort.

 

Depends on what else the relationship holds. If it was mostly the hormones speaking, it's probably time to move on. If there is a genuine relationship, then there is certainly the opportunity to revive romance and the unqiueness. takes some creative application........

Are there unusual pressures on the relationship that are having an impact related to work or school or health? Stress in any one of those can drive a stake through the heart of passion fairly quickly........ but it usually goes into hiding, it doesn't die, and it will return when the stress changes.

 

If its based upon true friendship, it wont matter.

 

A nice vacation might help.

 

Iono, never had it fade on my part...but the bitch may have or something or other, but as far as I was concerned, 5 months in, it was getting better every time.

 

Now that the "let's procreate like rabbits" phase has ended you can figure out if the two of you have anything in common or truly like one another. If not, move on. If so congratulations.

 

Couldn't have said it better.

 

No relationship should be based on the sex, but rather on the deep and intimate emotional connection forged over time. Relationships almost always only work when there are a lot of similarities between the two people, except where the differences help to balance each other out. It's a growing process also, where by being together a lot, you end up as complements anyways. If you don't feel any of this going on, then it is definitely time to move on.

I've been with my gf for two years and four months, and despite not always having the passion, we love each other more than ever and can't imagine not being together. As was said before, being able to share *everything* with the other person means so much, especially in the hard times. We don't want each other sexually all the time like we used to, but when we do (which is still pretty often... ), the raw desire with the deep intense emotion makes it all that much better.

 

Really depends on the relationship, if it drops say in the firsrt year, it's not meant to be. We had about a 6 month dry spell in the middle of our third, but we were both just going through some shit. Was I tempted more easily? Nope. Did I start to wonder about others? Nope.

I knew how strong our relationship is and that we'd get through it.



However as stated, if it's dieing early, time to re-evaluate

 

Funny that this thread should be here today; I was just talking to my high-school bf about this last night. He's now married with two kids, and of course I'm bout to be married to AZ's own CLPower, but we still talk regularly on IM. Anyway, we were talking about the difference between "high school love" and "adult love," and we came to the conclusion that there is nothing like high school love, because it's the first time you've ever felt that way, and your hormones are raging and the adrenaline is flowing as you realize for the first time that you're loved in return and that you can actually touch someone else's naughty parts.

Adult love is more about companionship, security, and the knowledge that you can and want to deal with your mate's foibles throughout your life. Sometimes it's not as exciting as high school love; nobody could keep up that level of adrenaline forever without collapsing eventually. And that's what I think makes certain people go out looking to have affairs; they want to recreate that rush of excitement. But at the end of the day, it's the gentle, powerful feeling of total commitment that keeps a marriage/relationship together. Sexual passion can be rekindled when you have that connection, but if the connection is not there, the passion won't last.

So you just have to determine which category your relationship falls into. If it's the high school category, then it's probably time to move on when the passion dies. If it's the other, then it's time to buy the Kama Sutra and learn some new tips.

 

Porn.

 

meh, making them dinner and a bottle of wine always did more for me.

Little things - a card, flowers, taking out the trash or doing the dishes without being asked.

 

When passion is over find somelse to fuck.

 

I was being facetious. Sorry, forgot the smiley.

 

You obviously missed what passion is all about

 

he's 19

 

True but I still had reading comprehension at that age.

 

heh, well on so many levels I agree - find someone else to fuck.

But then again real love is real love.

cheers!

 

im a complete dolt. the whole time youve posted here and i never put it together that you were "the girl" clpower spoke of

 

It's okay; I was in mode until a few weeks ago.

 

make her wear a wig

 

Ok now here is a situation that I am in now. I live with my GF we used to be crazy for each other and recently I have lost or my attraction to her is gone...there is no passion between us...I don't feel like I'm in love with her anymore. I feel like I value our relationship more as friends(the way I see it) than as us being BF/GF. Any suggestions? comments?

 

That's practically what this whole thread is about.

Re-read what's already been suggested.

 

OK, Passion is one element of a healthy relationship. Passion is physical and emotional, passion is powerful but you will become used to it and the power wil hold less sway over you. I was married for 22 years, there was healthy passion for about 10 of those years, then another 7 or 8 years of comfortable enjoyment with hints of the old passion, then it fell apart because we both finally realized the love wasn't really there. Love and passion are related but only related, they are NOT the same thing. The woman I am with now holds my LOVE as well as passion. There is NO effort to keeping our relationship new and fresh, we do things for each other in and out of bed in a very natural way, there is no "work" to it at all. I had passon for my wife of 22 years but eventually realized that true underlying LOVE wasn't there nor had it ever really been there, we mistook passion and then comfort for love. When real Love come along, believe me you WILL know! I can't believe that will fade or I will ever become used to it, each time I look at her it's new all over again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, if/when the passion fades, if the love is true, you won't care and may not notice, because that phase of your relationship will be even better.

just an old guys opinion....

 

3 years and the passion fades all the time untill I look at that ass and im like whoa baby!!!!! that ass is fat!!!!!

P.S. this only works if she has the fat bunky lol !!!!!!

 

I still say

 

Having a hard time dealing with this right now. The SO has wanted nothing to do with sex in the last 3 months and has been very cold feeling towards me, just does not show in physical affection at all(no kisses, hugs, nothing). Its been really hard on me but I am trying to work through this. Also this all started when she moved out and got her own place.

 

passion or lust.....you seem to be talking about lust........

 

This is not a sign of loosing passion... this is a sign of something worst. I'd confront her about it and if she is not willing to give you a thoughtful answer about why she has changed, you might want to consider moving on... 3 months is a long time to go without any form of intimate contact (and no I'm not talking about sex)

 

no this is not lust, sex and sex only is lust. I am talking any and all physical contact. I pract. have to beg to get a kiss. You tell me if this lust??