View Poll Results: Where do you draw the line for cheating?
Voters: 80. You may not vote on this poll
What do you consider cheating?
#1
Safety Car
Thread Starter
What do you consider cheating?
I guess LD is just getting really difficult for me... I probably won't share the story since it's going to be quite lengthy, but I held her hands so far and I consider it as crossing the line cuz i feel guilty
what are yours cross line for cheating?
i vote for holding hands.. basically any physical contact other than hello/goodbye hug or shaking of hands etc
what are yours cross line for cheating?
i vote for holding hands.. basically any physical contact other than hello/goodbye hug or shaking of hands etc
Last edited by yohan81718; 05-26-2009 at 04:26 PM.
#2
KICKED IN THE BALLS
iTrader: (1)
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: San Diego, CA/Pittsburgh,PA
Age: 42
Posts: 1,225
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I think 1 on 1 is considered cheating because you are having that intention of getting to know someone intimately and getting to know them better. Hence the common saying always goes "she is only a friend".
#3
Senior Moderator
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Better Neighborhood, Arizona
Posts: 45,641
Received 2,329 Likes
on
1,309 Posts
Its all about intentions
Cheating starts with the mind :duh:
Cheating starts with the mind :duh:
#4
Stage 1 Audi S5
yea if you are holding hands you must have some attraction there which IMO makes it cheating. While kissing/sex is def. cheating, dating ppl hold hands and all the stuff. If you drunkenly sleep with someone, it is cheating but for some reason it almost seems better then having feelings for someone while with someone else
#5
Registered but harmless
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Age: 59
Posts: 14,851
Received 1,127 Likes
on
769 Posts
If you think it might be cheating, it's cheating.
Oh, and I'm not sure what "1 on 1" means either-- I may meet up with a female friend, but my wife knows and the meeting is not for sex or romance.
Last edited by Will Y.; 05-26-2009 at 06:41 PM.
#7
Safety Car
Thread Starter
yea.. i think i'm in a wrong spot right now
so.. if you cross the line, should you not look back?? i mean i've been in a several relationships and once that trust is broken, it's pretty hard to rebuild the trust.. (though i'm not caught.. that's not really the point here)
here is the situation
-girlfriend is in oversea.. dunno when she's coming back to the states
-new girl lives 20 minutes from me, and knows i'm in a relationship, but seems like doesn't mind due to it being LD?
-girlfriend is nice, kind, humorous, i could totally see myself marrying her.. but i'm not 100% committed
-new girl is physically way way more attractive, but also humorous, and i feel that i have much more fun with this girl than my gf (but maybe it's because it hasn't been all that long) but i have hard time seeing myself marrying this kind of girl as of yet
at this point, i broke the line of trust, so i could just go f it and go either direction or neither direction
so.. if you cross the line, should you not look back?? i mean i've been in a several relationships and once that trust is broken, it's pretty hard to rebuild the trust.. (though i'm not caught.. that's not really the point here)
here is the situation
-girlfriend is in oversea.. dunno when she's coming back to the states
-new girl lives 20 minutes from me, and knows i'm in a relationship, but seems like doesn't mind due to it being LD?
-girlfriend is nice, kind, humorous, i could totally see myself marrying her.. but i'm not 100% committed
-new girl is physically way way more attractive, but also humorous, and i feel that i have much more fun with this girl than my gf (but maybe it's because it hasn't been all that long) but i have hard time seeing myself marrying this kind of girl as of yet
at this point, i broke the line of trust, so i could just go f it and go either direction or neither direction
Trending Topics
#9
yea.. i think i'm in a wrong spot right now
so.. if you cross the line, should you not look back?? i mean i've been in a several relationships and once that trust is broken, it's pretty hard to rebuild the trust.. (though i'm not caught.. that's not really the point here)
here is the situation
-girlfriend is in oversea.. dunno when she's coming back to the states
-new girl lives 20 minutes from me, and knows i'm in a relationship, but seems like doesn't mind due to it being LD?
-girlfriend is nice, kind, humorous, i could totally see myself marrying her.. but i'm not 100% committed
-new girl is physically way way more attractive, but also humorous, and i feel that i have much more fun with this girl than my gf (but maybe it's because it hasn't been all that long) but i have hard time seeing myself marrying this kind of girl as of yet
at this point, i broke the line of trust, so i could just go f it and go either direction or neither direction
so.. if you cross the line, should you not look back?? i mean i've been in a several relationships and once that trust is broken, it's pretty hard to rebuild the trust.. (though i'm not caught.. that's not really the point here)
here is the situation
-girlfriend is in oversea.. dunno when she's coming back to the states
-new girl lives 20 minutes from me, and knows i'm in a relationship, but seems like doesn't mind due to it being LD?
-girlfriend is nice, kind, humorous, i could totally see myself marrying her.. but i'm not 100% committed
-new girl is physically way way more attractive, but also humorous, and i feel that i have much more fun with this girl than my gf (but maybe it's because it hasn't been all that long) but i have hard time seeing myself marrying this kind of girl as of yet
at this point, i broke the line of trust, so i could just go f it and go either direction or neither direction
If you have new feelings for someone else, you have to determine if it's just short-term attraction. If you feel it not to be, then you certainly need to talk to your girlfriend about it. Having feelings for another while professing to tell your girlfriend you are in a committed relationship with her exclusively IS still cheating, regardless if you have been physical or not with the other girl.
Terry
#10
Registered but harmless
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Age: 59
Posts: 14,851
Received 1,127 Likes
on
769 Posts
...-new girl lives 20 minutes from me, and knows i'm in a relationship, but seems like doesn't mind due to it being LD?
...
-new girl is physically way way more attractive, but also humorous, and i feel that i have much more fun with this girl than my gf (but maybe it's because it hasn't been all that long) but i have hard time seeing myself marrying this kind of girl as of yet...
...
-new girl is physically way way more attractive, but also humorous, and i feel that i have much more fun with this girl than my gf (but maybe it's because it hasn't been all that long) but i have hard time seeing myself marrying this kind of girl as of yet...
2) It also sounds like the new girl would just be a fun fling and that she's up for it.
I guess that's OK if you are OK with that, the new girl doesn't get psycho afterwards, and your girlfriend never finds out (otherwise, ).
GL.
#11
Drifting
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Stockton, California
Age: 33
Posts: 3,301
Likes: 0
Received 22 Likes
on
11 Posts
I voted kissing, but I'd be pretty infuriated if my (possibly now former) girlfriend went out with another guy, regardless of if it was in a completely innocent manner.
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
#12
is learning to moonwalk i
#14
Team Owner
I voted kissing, but I'd be pretty infuriated if my (possibly now former) girlfriend went out with another guy, regardless of if it was in a completely innocent manner.
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
Sorry to hijack.
As for OP, intentions as stated already. The angel on my shoulder says to end things with your gf as you're already on the way out while the devil on my other shoulder says to hold her steady as she goes. :devilgrin
#15
^
OP, don't fuck over your girlfriend. It's just lame.
And I've also seen you post in about 17 other threads about this.
You're 18 and will never have a future with her...end it now and have your fun in Germany without her being in the back of your mind all of the time.
OP, don't fuck over your girlfriend. It's just lame.
I voted kissing, but I'd be pretty infuriated if my (possibly now former) girlfriend went out with another guy, regardless of if it was in a completely innocent manner.
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
You're 18 and will never have a future with her...end it now and have your fun in Germany without her being in the back of your mind all of the time.
#16
What Would Don Draper Do?
i voted for 1 on 1, but it really depends.
as mentioned, it's all about intentions. i have a close friend that is a girl, and i can have dinner with her, and it'll be strictly platonic.
however, if i have coffee with a girl, and i'm interested or attracted to her and open myself to be exposed emotionally and/or physically, then i'd consider that cheating.
as mentioned, it's all about intentions. i have a close friend that is a girl, and i can have dinner with her, and it'll be strictly platonic.
however, if i have coffee with a girl, and i'm interested or attracted to her and open myself to be exposed emotionally and/or physically, then i'd consider that cheating.
#18
Race Director
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NY
Age: 38
Posts: 12,434
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I voted kissing, but I'd be pretty infuriated if my (possibly now former) girlfriend went out with another guy, regardless of if it was in a completely innocent manner.
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
She's sleeping with the guy - you actually believed her when she told you she was just visiting him as a friend , even after they slept together - hes deploying for 6 months = no action = def action before leaving -
break up with her and have fun!
to the OP - your cheating
#20
Go Giants
what if you are really drunk?
#22
Go Giants
#24
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
Dump this girl and let her do whatever the F she wants to do (without you).
She's NOT girlfriend material. You should have just pumped and dumped.
#25
Team Owner
Anything more than watching porn is cheating.
#26
Safety Car
Thread Starter
I probably won't be going after the new girl at the moment, but I feel that I should let go of my gf. I'm kind of person that cannot hide my emotion and can't pretend like I still love someone when my thoughts and feelings are in another person. I realized once again that long distance is just not for normal people, and no promise of reuniting is just making things worse and worse.
It will be pretty difficult to bring this up to gf
It will be pretty difficult to bring this up to gf
#30
Old Man Yelling at Clouds
I think when you start becoming more familiar / friendly with someone other than your SO, you start crossing the line. I think cheating starts with intent + anything on that list.
#31
I probably won't be going after the new girl at the moment, but I feel that I should let go of my gf. I'm kind of person that cannot hide my emotion and can't pretend like I still love someone when my thoughts and feelings are in another person. I realized once again that long distance is just not for normal people, and no promise of reuniting is just making things worse and worse.
It will be pretty difficult to bring this up to gf
It will be pretty difficult to bring this up to gf
#32
Senior Moderator
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Better Neighborhood, Arizona
Posts: 45,641
Received 2,329 Likes
on
1,309 Posts
As an aside, I'm guessing I should have ended things with my girlfriend two months ago, when she told me she was going out to Hawaii to visit a friend of hers in the navy. Her excuse was that he was having a very hard time as he was deploying for 6 months, and that nothing had happened between them the last time she went out there (late November), which was before we started dating. Having said that, I found out later that she had slept with him when she was out there previously. That should be a sign and I just didn't take it... But that's ok, if things go poorly I've seen some very attractive German girls so I won't be completely screwed, though in the literal sense that might be ok.
Take it from me, I was in the Navy for twelve years.
#33
Safety Car
Thread Starter
she's in Korea at the moment (god.. i so hope there is no war) and dunno when she'll come to states.. or IF she comes to the states
#36
Great. Now he's loose.
It definitly starts... and continues, in the mind. Intent. You know whether or not you're being intimate. You don't really have to ask us. It doesn't actually have to involve physical touch at all.
Allow your girlfriend to move on, and move on yourself. She is not yours, and you are not hers. You already know that too.
Allow your girlfriend to move on, and move on yourself. She is not yours, and you are not hers. You already know that too.
#38
Suzuka Master
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: MD
Age: 40
Posts: 5,124
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
99.9% of people would say you are cheating. Although yours is not the gravest of offenses, but it's still crossing the line. (If you don't care that's another thing, but if you don't want to be known as a cheater, then you're too late).
Also, it depends on who you ask. My gf does not think the deplorable act of just going to a strip club is cheating, but getting a lapdance is cheating and grounds for ball removal. So go figure
Also, it depends on who you ask. My gf does not think the deplorable act of just going to a strip club is cheating, but getting a lapdance is cheating and grounds for ball removal. So go figure
#39
Arriving Somewhere...
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pittsburgh
Age: 53
Posts: 1,061
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Another good benchmark is this: cheating is anything that you couldn't tell your sig other. For example, 1 on 1 or physical contact (such as a backrub) could be cheating or not depending on the situation. I once went to visit a female friend and her husband for a concert. My wife had no interest, but encouraged me to go (and stay at her house). Her husband backed out at the last minute and told the two of us to go to the concert. So, in a way, I ended up on a "date" of sorts, but it wasn't cheating at all because nothing happened and both of our spouses were fine with it (and totally trust us). On the other hand, if I am attracted to a girl at work, I would consider just going out to lunch with her to be cheating. It's all about the why more than the what for all of the borderline stuff.
#40
Ex-King of Pasadena
wth? who chose 'sex' and 'others'.. @@
the 3 person, i guess, it's okay for your gf to kiss another guy? @@ and also it's okay to let other guys to hold your gf's hand?
hope it's just a joke.. ==
the 3 person, i guess, it's okay for your gf to kiss another guy? @@ and also it's okay to let other guys to hold your gf's hand?
hope it's just a joke.. ==