So this girl and I have been friends for over a year, and we've been hanging out a lot lately. She's pretty much over at my place almost every day...blah blah blah To make a long story short I told her I liked her more than "just" a friend. Ever since then, we have actually gotten closer. If we watch a movie, she would always come up real close to me, hold my hand and kiss my cheek/arm/hand randomly. I asked her what she wanted and she said that she likes me more than just a friend, but that she wants to be alone right now and stay friends for now.

So my question is, what should I make out of this? And I know, she doesn't just want cawk, she is not that type of girl. I know for a fact that she likes me the same way because we are really good friends and she would not lie to me about things like that. So how long do these "I want to be alone right now" periods last? She calls me or texts me throughout the day at work and we've gotten really used to each other and a lot closer than normal friends.

I know it sounds like a rejection and she's trying to be nice about it, so I told her to tell me because at least I would know where we stand, but she keeps insisting that she really likes me, just doesn't know what she wants right now. So, should I continue seeing her the way I did in the last month or so or should I slow it down and stop seeing her so much?

P.S. I tried doing a search on this

 

Give her another month. Did she just come out of a relationship? How old is she?

 

Maybe its just me but I think if someone really wants to be with someone romantically they'll move heaven and earth to make it happen.

Sounds like she just really wants to be friends and is being nice about it.

 

No, she was in a 2 year relationship and then dated a guy for 6 months, and they broke it off this summer, but remained friends. She's 20, junior in college.

 

Actually that's what I told her, if she really liked me the way she says she does, she wouldn't want to wait. She said she's really confused about us and is scared of losing me as a friend if we were to break up.

Then I thought about all the things she does and says, and it does not look like she wants a friends relationship.

 

My take: She likes you but wants to be able to get drunk at a college party and fuck other guys / live the 'college life' with nothing (i.e. you) holding her back.

As dom mentioned if she liked you that much she would just be with you.

Recommendation: Take the relationship for what is currently is jsst friends/friends that fuck? and treat it the same way she is / keep your options (other women) open. Enjoy the sex you're getting out of it while it lasts. And if you aren't getting that out of it and only an occasional kiss...then she isn't that into you, start looking elsewhere because you're just going to be friends.

 

Everyone is that type of girl.

 

She's trying to let you down in a nice way, and keep you waiting in the wings once she's done trying other guys. Make her a lower priority. You're like a dick in a glass case. In case of emergency, break open glass.

 

You gotta understand something about women, they don't stay friends with a dude just for the sake of being friends. Every male friend a woman has is a potential plan B, C or D. If you like being second best to her then stick around if not then split.

 

She likes you but not enough to make any definite commitment with you. Just enjoy the ride.

 

make sure you RIDE the ride....cuz if not...your just wasting time, effort and emotion...but remember this...she catch you messing around with other girls she will have a fit...so be prepared....i would say slowly seperate from her but keep her close enuff for a late night booty call...

 

start hitting on other girls, see what she does

 

Blow her off a couple times for another girl. It will go one of two ways; it will get you two closer or it will drive you two apart. Either way is good for you. You do NOT want to be the dick in the glass case, that shit is so bollox and it will mind-fuck you like a fat bitch on Brad Pitt.

 

Pretty sound advice

 

Good points here, maybe she also doesnt want to ruin the friendship

Why not ask her WHY she doesnt want a relationship with you.

 

I tried this and it works. Tell her that you want to be with her but when she is ready, to let you know so you can plan a special weekend away to get to know each other. I did that with my g/f and she came around real fast. Made the weekend we had planned very fun with no pushing for sex or surprises. I just wanted some heads up and let's face it, we (the guys) are not the ones to decide when!!!

 

I don't know how some of you guys hang around these girls for so long and either not have sex with them or get completely rejected for making a move on a girl who didn't want you.

 

You *don't* know...you just know she doens't want your's


And she *is* that type of girl...and since you're close friends with her you'll get to hear her complain about every guy who put his dong in her mouth.

 

So Saturday night we were supposed to go out with friends. When I picked her up, she said let's just go have dinner instead. We were there for about two hours and had a great time. I dropped her off because she had to work early the next morning.

The following day (yesterday) she called me about 15 times to go out with her and her friends, but I didn't feel like it beacause I had to work early today. She kept sending me messages all night telling me to come and how boring it is. Then she told me she regrets not coming over to my place instead. Keep in mind, she knows I was alone, and she wanted to come alone, not with her friends. Then she sends me a message saying "I am at home safely dreaming of sleeping next to you" at 2 AM.

Am I wrong for thinking she wants to be more than friends?

 

I told her I do not want to hear about these things.

 

IMO, no. Make your move.

 

If you listened to what people are telling you, you'd have your answer.

Sasha and AdamNJ said it best.

She wants to fuck you. She wants to try you out. She doesn't want to commit. She doesn't know if you can live up to her expectations.

You have a couple options.

1.) Stop being a pussy and take the plunge. She'll definately go for it. But, will she still be interested in you afterwards? Will it make your friendship awkward if she doesn't want to "date" you? Will you be hurt if you fuck her and then find out she fucked other douchebag the next weekend?

2.) Don't do anything at all. Stay friends. But, she'll eventually get bored with you. She'll either think you're a pussy or think you're gay. In any case she'll eventually get a boyfriend that doesn't want you anywhere near her and you'll be out of the picture.


IMO, your only real option is to take what you can get. Do your thing and be prepared for the consequences.

If all goes well, you two will live happily ever after.

If not, well, at least you got to fuck her once and you wont be left saying "what if" in 5 yrs when you won't be "friends" anyway.

 

^ yes, yes and yes

 

I completely agree with Soopa but there are two things that I would add.

1) It sounds like she has never been single for long and maybe she realizes that she needs to be for a while....or at least more than 6 months. Even so, she should not expect you to stick around and wait.

2) If you have feelings for her you can't remain friends because you don't think of her as a friend so really the only option is to go for it.

 

i agree wth soopa as well...and ironically im kind of in the same situation....girl i would like to date wont, and just calls me in the middle of the night to come over. I was pissed about it at first..but its really the best thing and the less i care about her and just tap it the more she calls..

 

a) she really likes you and wants to be more than friends
b) she values your friendship even more and doesnt want to ruin that by rushing into a relationship
c) she's easing into a closer relationship

 

I agree with the "making a move" part, but she already knows how I feel so I doubt that will change anything.

In a way I feel like just telling her that I need more space if we are to stay friends.

 

Just get on with it and see what happens. Christ...

SEAL THE DEAL.

 

, mine as well too.

 

screw it move on, keep her around and once she realizes that she's not your only option, she'll be there in a heartbeat.

 

This is actually exactly what I was thinking. It's not as easy is "PIITB and leave" since she's a really good friend.

 

Unfortunately, "sleeping next to you" doesn't mean "sleeping next to you after we just fucked". Another piece of advice that should hopefully go without saying from what we've all said already. If you do wind up having sex with her...even though you like her don't say anything stupid during sex (i.e. 'i love you', 'i like you a lot', 'i want you to be my girlfriend') as it will become blatantly obvious to her not only that you like her, but by having sex it makes you think she wants to be your gf...sex will end quickly.

 

I'd have to say this is one of few times I agree with a member of the female sex.

Man just chill for a bit, there's no need to jump into things. You could easily screw things up. See how things fall out over some time.

 

Shes calling you and texting you so she obviously want to keep you around for something. And you being there all the time answering her calls and texts just shows that shes in control. Instead, you should be polite and nice but stop answering her calls and texts at random times and instead just play it cool. Start seeing other people and hook up if possible. If she isnt willing to commit to you, there is no reason for you to sit around and wait for her to decide that your worth it. I think all shes doing is giving you a shit test to see how much of a chump you can be untill she meets another guy. Your her cuddle buddy and your letting her get away with it. Like everybody has been saying you need to either tell her hey, either we are going out or not. if not, you need to stop calling and texting all the time with this random shit. We can be friends but just friends dont talk and say stuff like this. Your sending me mixed signals. And be firm about it. She wants someone who is in control and confident. "being there" for her like you are, shes getting the best of both worlds while your left with you dick in your hands. If you really want to be with her, you have to be willing to lose her too.

 

I've been here. You are her gay male friend who happens to be straight.

 

Funny thing is, that's exactly what I told her and it doesn't stop. But, we have been pretty close friends and I don't wanna lose her as a friend because of this. I will just have to slowly move away if she doesn't change her mind.

 

Heed this mans advice FastAcura

 

So just a quick update. On Friday she came over and we ate, watched a movie and then we started fooling around. I'm supposed to see her today again, and next Friday she wants to come over and spend the night...

 

If you don't make any progress the next few times you see her (i.e. intercourse), this bullshit needs to end.

 

So anyway, back to this...a lot has happened since, we're still not officially together, but we've gotten much closer. Another important thing that I forgot to mention earlier is that she's almost 21 but was a virgin up until recently...I know it seems funny to some of you guys, but she's from Serbia, and supposedly losing the virginity means a lot to people over there...

So we're not officially together, but all of our mutual friends think that we are since we pretty much spend most of our free time together. What got me back to this thread is the fact that she went to Europe a couple of days ago and she's not coming back for 2 and a half months. So ever since we started having sex, she's gotten closer and closer to me, asking to see me more and more. She said in these next couple of months she'll find out if she truly feels the same way once I'm not with her.

I know most of you think she'll probably go over there and fuck around and I don't blame you, but she really is different. We know each other inside and out and she has gotten a lot more attached to me than she was when I first started this thread...so we'll see what happens.