spooky3ce

Alright... since i have most respect for your all... especially the people i've met so far at meets... i want to ask all of you a some personal questions...

1. What would you do in this situation???

2. What do you think I should do???

3. Am I right or wrong in thinking the way i'm thinking???

4. What should I do about it???

Alright, most of you know me as a shy, cool, whatever type of guy... and respect for others is my main quality... buuut... i'm actually pissed right now... i'm mad as hell... i feel like i want to kill someone again... i know i can't because i have a daughter... but i'm shaking from the flutten anger... i can't stop thinking about it... it just plays over and over again in my head... just breaking everything and ending everything right now... going back to how i use to be... before i had my daughter... drinking, partying, girls... knocking on busters... etc... ... just needed to rant a bit...

Oct 2000 - Ok back on topic... This is whats been going on in my "love life" the bast 5 years... yes 5 years... i've only calmed down the past 2 years that is since i actually got serious with my girl... anyways, when i first met my girl i was 17... my girl was 15... anyways... we met in a chat (i know... i know... NERD!!!) but yeah... we met in a chat and i never knew anyone that actually lived by me before from a chat so i was like... why not make this one the first to meet... so I asked her if she wanted to meet... this is October 26th or so and I planned it for Oct. 28... (BF/GF Aniversary now...) so we hooked up and that day i got to know her more on a personal basis... you know high school status... I asked her to be my GF etc... she says yes... we kiss blah blah blah... ok...

Nov. 2000 - 1 month passes... and we are basicly into each other hardcore... like, she'd come over and watch movies... sometime spend the night... etc... so its good... i'm not in love but she's my girl... and i wouldn't desrespect her for anything... (not in love yet... but we are together...) One Saturday... i go to pick her up and she's not there and her mom tells me she went out with a "friend" i was like... probably went shopping whatever... i'll cruise for a bit too... so i hit up my hommie Weasel... we are kicking it etc... and i get the idea of calling my girl... after all she's my girl... the thing she tells me that day i will always remember it... "I'm out with this guy..." striaght up told me like that... STRIKE ONE!!! called the guy out (highschool drama you know) meet me on East Laural... where me and some friends to "witness" were going to be at... Park Side Trece... to make it more in detail... anyways... bish never showed... and i've never heard my girl talk to this bish again either...

April 2001 - 6 months pass... i went out with my hommie weasel again... did him a paro (back him up) so that he can get with this one girl he wanted to hook up with... but, she brought a friend that wouldn't leave them two alone... so i had to step in... get the ugly fat friend away while my friend makes a move... you guys know what i'm talking about... sure you all done that once or twice... anyways... I was cencere and before i did this i told my GF (now future wife) everything that was going to happen that night... that i was going to help a friend in that way... asked her if it was cool... and she didn't mind... so i went on and helped my hommie weasel... so everything went down as planned and everything was cool... no fights between me and her... nothing... (should i turn this into a blog???)

Summer 2002 - the year passes... we've been together for a year and no drama... that is until my girl decides to try and do the same with her friend as I did with my hommie... Questions: Is it the same thing if what i explained above can also be done by girls... only she didn't talk to me about it before hand... these guys just went up and tried to hook up with my girl and her friend and they both accepted to go out??? Because for me... there is a biiiiiig diffrence... for one... i was helping a friend... she actually accepted to go out with these guys with her friend... STRIKE TWO!!! So i delt with it... argued a bit but kept my true anger inside... i'm matureing... i'm turning 18 soon... etc... got my TL ... i'm happy... not letting no one ruin it... so i stayed with her with no attempt of a break up...

Feb 14th 2003 - 3 years have passed and on Feb. 14th... i gave her a promise ring... that i'll marry her some day... and when i promise something... i try to go all out to get it accomplished... (jerky, i'm actually still working on the cartoon still just have had to much work) anyways, she accepts and we go on with life... ... ...
(been planning to give her an engagement ring finally this feb 14th 2005 buuut... this shit happens... keep reading)... find out she's pregnate... i'm gonna be a daddy... i've already calmed down... most of my hommies either moved or are in prison up north... etc... so i'm not into that stuff no more... can keep a cool mind and actually start a family...

January 14th 2004... My daughter is born... which is a shock... because you can't beleive your a father etc... anyways, we are in Yuma, AZ and move back due to my job to Salinas, CA... Everyone is happy... we go baby shopping etc... no arguments... everything is going PERFECT!!!... a couple months ago... before x-mas... i found out she started chatting on the net again... She had stopped and i had stopped and we agreed not to, since basicly it was a form of saying... HEY!!! I'm available and looking for someone... etc... I see a profile... saying i'm her BF still... since we have a baby now i've always called her my wife since then... (EastVentura Meet guys can confirm that and so can Bay Area meet guys... Introduce her as my wife... even though we aren't really married yet...) i'm kinda ticked since she is obviously chatting with guys and getting to know these guys from around our area... i'm cool with her chatting here and there... nothing wrong... until it gets serious... thats where this link comes into play...

http://www.cpixel.com/searchp.asp?person=X_BlU_X&rv=1

Yes, thats my girl... for all of you that didn't know... you can browse it... and you'll see what i mean, with all the guys etc...

Anyways... This... is definatly STRIKE THREE!!! Who the hell disrespects their loved one this way... WHO!?!?!!! she uses the excuse that i talk to all of you... FLUT THAT!!! You guys (few... almost no girls) are members of this site... and all we talk about is cars, primarily Acura's... we aren't talking about "Hey wanna hook up and go out blah blah blah..." or "damn man, you look hot etc..." this is mainly a sausage fest... a place where guys can get intouch with other guys about cars etc... but she uses it as an excuse and i've told her its diffrent from chatting online... and being on a forum... for 1... on this forum... she can come in here as a guest and see this 2 months from now... chat??? there is no possible way unless she is saving her chats... etc... another thing... there are barely no girls on this site... WOW... 10 out of like 1million members... and about 1/3 are over 30... and just want info on their car... unlike chat... bunch of 19, 20 year old trying to get laid...

Anyways... i found that cpixle crap and she's a mother and soon to be wife and she's out there showing off her clevage... WTF is up with that... and wearing my Caddy Jersey which i havn't even worn once... WTF!!! I dont know what to do... should i drop her and leave everything behind and go to my old dumb hommie ways... or should i stay and just let it be like if nothing happend and be that dumb fuck that goes to work and his wife is getting flutted in the ass by some random dude... of course no one knows of my .38 or the 9 under the seat of my TL... WHAT SHOULD I DO???

Acurazine members... guide me through this peice of flutting ... i'm sick of this immature nonesense... Highschool Crap...

JJ4Short

I know of the 38 and the 9 under your seat now

Well too bad you got her pregnant cause this story aint going to end happy, trust. Yeah ma is going to end up either cheating or you two will end up breaking up. She said NO COMMENT where it says Status? BURN!
Heres what you do...LEAVE, make sure you take care of your damn kid and don't worry about who she is fucking with. Don't get in trouble over this shit cause if you shoot some fucker who is fucking her, your going to be getting fucked in a few months by a guy named tito.
Heres what else you do, don't date chicks like her!
Hommie ways? Don't be a dumb ass man

Jerky

"Feb 14th 2003 - 3 years have passed and on Feb. 14th... i gave her a promise ring... that i'll marry her some day... and when i promise something... i try to go all out to get it accomplished... (jerky, i'm actually still working on the cartoon still just have had to much work) anyways, she accepts and we go on with life... ..."

hahahha im still waiting...but i forgive you, you got bigger things to do, you can let the cartoon go

Jerky

dude, mikeytampa...i know you're pissed off today from other people's racist comments (another story) but do you really mean what you wrote?

does he got to leave his woman?

Spooky...hold up a sec dude...calm the flut down...

get some sense here. has she actually done anything wrong outside of virtual world?

why is she doing this in the first place?

we're with you man, but be cool, be rational...

sasha

Talk. Let her know how her behavior affects you and why, then ask her what's going on like if she's happy or not. Maybe you are over-reacting based on the past? Do you trust her? Maybe it's time you guys both lay out your cards on the table and talk about current expectations, plans for the future, etc.

Best of luck to you.

Jerky

Talk to her...dont get mad, just be cool man

Jerky

as soon as you feel the rage build...rememer you're a dad now and you gotta behave

spooky3ce

i slept on it... so i'm a little calmed down now... but thats all i could think of... "Yeah ma is going to end up either cheating or" and i don't want to waste my life on something that isn't important...

"LEAVE, make sure you take care of your damn kid and don't worry about who she is fucking with." i can't just get up and leave... this is my house... and if i tell her to get out... as the mother, she has temporary custody of my little girl... I know because i am doing what Sasha said...

I've talked to her about this 3 times now... (not mentioned in the long story above)... 1st time we talked about was the 1st time i knew she was fucking around on the net... Had a web cam at the time... (threw away webcam)... second time was with her YIM... I told her the only way i could trust her is if she actually proved to me she was talking to more girls then guys... (Like me... i talk to more guys on here then girls (since there are only 8 or 10 girls and most are married or over 30...) she brought it up in one of our arguments that i do the same here on Acurazine... and last night we talked about it again... right after i posted this... she said, "You do the same thing on Acurazine..." i was like "Its not the same thing... for one... you can go to Acurazine and go to my SN and hit View all posts by [username] and you can see everything i wrote... unlike your chat, were you log in, chat, no trace but the actual chat applet that loaded... there is no way to see what you've written... etc..." it is a diffrence...

Another thing... when i seen her on the YIM thing... i was talking to one of the guys on her YIM... he didn't know it was me... and he was telling me about their video chat... and him seeing what she's got... of course she denied it...

Now this cpixle thing with her tits hanging out... thats disrespectfull to me... if i wanted someone that did that crap... i would have dated a stripper, hooker, whore off the street... (no offense to anyone in that profession...)

spooky3ce

I'll be on here from work... yes i go to work today so it'll give me time to think about it...

"get some sense here. has she actually done anything wrong outside of virtual world?" No, but just like marijuana leads you to cocain and other drugs... same goes with the net... (Anology: Chat is to Meets as Marijuana leads to Other Drugs) i should have taken my SAT's...

Jerky, Congrats on getting married this year... I'm postponing mine as of now...



"why is she doing this in the first place?" i'ved called her out on it and she doesn't give me another answer besides... "You do it to, on your acurazine..." so i told her she can browse Acurazine all she wants and find all my posts... she can see the last 500 posts of mine if she wanted too... and then i asked her... Show me your last 500 chats sessions/cam sessions you've had...

I don't know man...

alleyesonmeee

Awww spookz! I'm sorry about that. If you have tried to talk to her about it and she's just blaming it on the Zine and not admitting to anything she's done, maybe you've talked enough. Set up one of those programs that logs YIM and conversations on the computer. It sounds like she's got alot of things going on behind your back. Also...hope that she doesn't check your last 500 posts and see this

Have one final talk with her and tell her how you feel about it and that you know she has things going on. Play the guilt trip about "Think about your daughter" and make sure she knows that you are dead serious and that you will leave on strike four. You don't need to deal with that.

Don't go shoot someone, that will just end you up worse off than you are now.

JJ4Short

Man lets all be realistic here, she is going to cheat I can garuntee you that! She has been with you since she was 15, she prolly is worried she is missing whats out there. I know you can't just leave and you should talk it out, but talking it out isn't going to change shit. It happened and TRUST me it will be brought up again. You guys are young and immature, even though you don't think so, these are the warning signs my friend.

Angry Mike: Hit that bitch with a Bottle

OR I can make a profile and take some fake pics and hit on your girl, right when she is about to fly down to tampa you smack her with a bottle. Deal?

JJ4Short

Or I can give you my Ghost Key Logger and it will show you everything she writes so if she is Iming or Emailing something it will write it down. BUT virus scanners tend to pick it up

alleyesonmeee

She'd never know

Jinen

wow...you are in a tough situation...

you know while i was reading everything above...i just didn't find one thing...how does she feel for u? u want to give her a promise ring and all and u want to marry her and u call her ur wife and u love her, but i did not see how she feels/felt for u...

just by that not being there, it makes me think...that u probably love this girl more than she loves u...when feelings aren't the same on the two-way street, it becomes really difficult to work things out...

also, if she's on these websites chatting and stuff, there are probably reasons behind it...one reason could be that she sees her friends having a blast dating/going out with different guys and she might want to do that...so her friends could be an influence....second, she probably doesn't feel happy with you anymore and she wants to find something/someone else in her life...third, there may be nothing wrong at all...she still may love u and all...

u really have to talk this with her...sit her down and just ask her what's wrong...let her know how u feel and that it really hurts u...and tell her that u understand whatever she has to say...or u may try talking to her girl friends and see what they have to say...cause she's probably telling them something rather than telling u, so u can figure it out that way...

you could also create a new screen name and chat with her...for example, if u're at work, chat with her with a different screen name...don't tell her who u really are, but pretend that u are a single guy who is attracted to her and see how she reacts...cause u'll catch her red-handed...and then if she says, "lets' meet up" then have one of ur guy friends go meet up with her...obviously ur guy friend is going to have ur back, so he's not going to fuck around with her, but at least u'll catch her red handed...if for example, u start hitting on her as a "new guy" and if she doesn't react to it, and she says "hey, i already have a bf" then u don't have much to worry about and u could stop all the stressing and all....but if she starts chatting more with the "new guy (u)" and she wants to meet up and all...then u have things to worry about...girls play games like this many times, and at times, it's important for guys to play this game as well...(by the way, i've never done this lol so don't think that i have...i just feel it would be good for u)....in a way it could be closure for u once u find out everything....whether she is wanting to be with other guys or she tells them that she's taken...if u find that out urself, then u will stop stressing so much and u'll know what to do...

if things go sour, and u find out that she really wants to be with the other guys...then just tell her that u want custody of your daughter because u don't want a mother like that for ur daughter...cuase chances are that ur daughter will turn out to be fucked up...and i'm not sure if u really want that...

i think the best thing for u to do is come up with a new screen name and start "macking" it with her with a diff sn...and if she wants to meet up, then have one of ur boyzzz (that she has never met before) go and meet her...and u could follow them and stuff...and then if she's really into that guy, have ur boy ALMOST kiss her...like let him go 90% of the way and if she goes the other 10%, then tell ur boy to back off and that's where u come in and catch her red handed...i mean it's going to be heart breaking to see that, but it's going to give u reality and the truth...it's better living with the truth than living in some la-la land....

so either way, it probably isn't going to be a win-win situation for u, so just know what the consequences could be...speak to lawyers about this in general and ask them if there's a way for u to get custody of the child and stuff...prepare for all this before u create a new screen name because the last thing u want is something uncertain to happen...cause that could literally screw you over...

she's still young and probaly wants to find herself and is not really worried about being a mother and all...cause i can really tell that she doesn't love u that much as u do...and that's the first thing to notice...so u're going to be fighting a tough battle...but at least it will give u closer...positive or negative...u'll have to deal with it and move on in ur life, so make sure u are ready for that...

Jerky

^good shit here....

Stokeless_TSX

Homie juss be careful. Women tend to stray when they are missing something. I'm not sayin you are treating her wrong but how old is she? 19? 20? Shes young man and at that stage in thier lives they tend to want to be free and do thier own thing. Just hold off on the marriage wait it out till she is about 22-24 then see wassup. I made the mistake at getting married at a young age...now im divorced payin child support. Its rough man. I tried to leave the kickin it thang behind me too. But I had nothing else to turn to. It has been 3 years since me and my ex wife split up and just a month ago I got a new relationship that was actually worth putting effort into and i only some what seriously (had a commitment) to one other girl in the last 3 years. Been playin the field. Now I am ready to settle down.
So talk to her ask her if she really wants to be with you or if you just wanna both do your own thing. Don't meet females on the net go meet them naturally...by accident. Thats the best way man. If things don't work out at least its now and not 4 years and 2 more kids from now feel me? Stay up mayn. Best of luck to you.

AS3.0CL

thats alot of high school drama. don't be hating on me because i'm in high school but my now ex-gf of a week is pissed because i wanted to know who she was going out to the movies as "friends" --bull shit. its over between me and her know but those kids she wanted to go with she only knew them for a couple of weeks and i actually almost gave them a bigass beet down with a couple of my friends. damn i should have done it i could since i know where to find them. thier those wana be ghetto thugs that think thier tough. i each of my friends and me could have taken them on since it would have been a 10 on 3 with 3 being us. by the way my friends and i all are on varsity wrestling and rugby.

i say try to work it out but if not then just leave dude. if she can't respect you and you respect her then it's not worth it. you know whats right inside for you and your daughter.
good luck with your decision.

spooky3ce

First off, I want to thank everyone that responded and thanks for all the support you guys/gals gave me while this was happening... Acurazine was distracting me... keeping me going in a straight line while I was having this problem... I say "was" because its actually over...

The story... after 5 years of being together... it finally has ended... ... ...

Febuary 27th 2005 - I got offered to go to Yuma Arizona for a month or less with perdiem (Per-Diem: Lump sum of cash extra to your check for utilities while away from home)... Well, I have family over there in Yuma and the perdiem goes straight to the bank... no utilities besides food is needed to be paid... So i was going to make extra cash for doing something good for our relationship... it was going to go to our house money... getting us closer to getting a home... Sooo, I thought about it... and thought it was a good idea to do all this... I wanted to take her and my daughter with me but she was going to college and couldn't bail on this semester or else she'd have to do it again... So i went alone... ... ... We were both ok with it... we talked about it and i told her that I had to do this... (note: We talked about it a week before i left to Yuma... That is when i was offered to go...)

I'm in Yuma AZ the next day...
Febuary 28th 2005 - I go to work... do my thing over there to get the green... So this is my schedule...

> Go to work... 5:30 AM to 2:30 PM 1Hour lunch that i never took... $$$
>Go Home (grandparents house) 3:00 PM - 5:30 AM

Now Yuma is on the boarder of Mexico... I could have gone party'ing... i could have gotten with a $hit load of girls... gotten piss drunk... go cruising with friends (Old School Luxury a.k.a. Lowriders) etc... but i didn't because of my respect and love for my ex-Girl and my beautiful Daughter...

Two Weeks Pass...
Febuary 19th 2005 -
I get a call from by younger brother (17 April 2nd) telling me that she had gotten all her stuff (cloths mainly) and left to her moms... Now, my little bro told me that when he woke up at around 9 AM 10 AM... he stepped out and saw her mom standing there smiling and helping her daughter pack her stuff... I live about 20 minutes away from her moms house and my ex-girl has her own car (my car BTW) why would they need 2 cars to leave??? Everything would have fit in 1 car, which did and my bro confirmed that the mom came over for nothing... You can say help her pack... but i say the mom wanted her to leave me... either way... she left... my brother asked her if that she had told me... her response to that was "You can tell him... because i'm not..."

I'm a traditional Mexican... born in the U.S. but with all the respect and honor a traditional Mexican has towards their Family... With that said... this is my beleif...

When a man/woman leaves their home and their partner... even when its to move into a reletive's house... (ie: Aunts, mothers, fathers etc...) they have left and can not return to that same home... Disrespecting your first home by getting only all your stuff... not notifying anyone about it (Who, What, Where, When, How, and Why...) is disrespect and shouldn't be allowed back...

My beleif for a relationship is this: You must have the following things for your partner...
1. Respect - Without it... you can not go on...
2. Trust - Which earns you the respect...
Those two things is what brings love... which opens doors to all feelings good and bad...

Febuary 20th 2005 - I'm feeling down... and i can't take it no more... i have to talk to someone... so i call up one of my old friends from when i was in elementry school... He's like a brother to me and i want him and his wife to be the Godparents for my baby girl... So, i gave him a call... and tell him that the babptisim is going to be postponed until I can get back to Salinas and fix my relationship that wasn't even broken to begin with... He tells me to come over so we can talk... and I did and explained everything... from the start to finish... He told me to be strong... that he hoped everything worked out and that we (me and my ex-girl) would be together again... It was late so I headed home and I couldn't stop thinking about Her and my Daughter... I was listening to two songs... (Download them so that you can hear what i was feeling at that time)

1. Ozzy - I Just Want You - CD: Ozzmosis
2. Will Power - Dreaming - CD: 80's Freestyle

Instead of heading home i headed to my aunt and uncle's house... My aunt was at work and my uncle was taking care of my three cousins... I got there and started to talk to my uncle of what happened... He right there and then just stopped me from going on... he said he had gone through that a couple times and the only thing she (my ex-girl) wanted is for me to go back to Salinas... get her by the hair... grab my baby girl and bring them over with me... so that we can stay together... I was moved by his comment... and i did just that... He knew how i was feeling... (BTW: this is a 12 hour drive from Yuma, AZ to Salinas, CA... about 600 miles...) So, I told him that it was late and that i was going to go home... right then and there... I knew what I wanted... that past 2 days were hell because i couldn't stop thinking of what happend... I got in my bro's truck (TL in the shop) and with the cloths I had on... with the cash in my pocket... regardless of how tired i was from work and from not sleeping the past night(s) because of what had happened... I left for Salinas without even thinking about it... I didn't care of the weather... I didn't care about my stuff or job (had to go in at 5:00 AM so i called my boss and summarized what had happened)... i didn't care of the state my bro's truck was in... i didn't care how much money i had... i didn't care about anything except going to go see my "wife" and my Daughter... Thats all i wanted... Left Yuma, AZ Sunday March 20th 2005 at 10:00 PM Cali time/11:00 PM Yuma time... Arrived in Salinas, CA Monday March 21st 2005 at 5:45 AM Cali time/ 6:45 AM Yuma time... (BTW: my bro's GMC Jimmy only goes 100mph... )

I arrived and found out that she had started working for some agency that hired nurses to go to people's houses and attend to duties the old people couldn't do anymore... (Help them get up... walk around etc...) So i wa S.O.L. until she got out of work... So i checked up on my car... (I get it this friday!!! or so they said) checked out what was new in the neighborhood... and went home to my daughter who was at my house with my mom... that just made my day... seeing my daughter playing with her toys at our house... For the parents of the forum... you know the feeling... for the rest... you'll know when you have kids... I played with her... fed her... changed her... and fell asleep with my daughter that day...

March 21st 2005 @ 2:00 PM - She comes home... to pick my baby up... The ring i had from Valentine's day... the one I was going to give her this past Valentines day... I got it out... got on my knee... and told her... here in this room... where we made our baby... where it was the first place for everything between us... I want to ask you... will you marry me... ... ... I was trying to be strong... by I had tears in my eyes... i couldn't hold it...

(Guys, if you haven't gone through proposing to a girl... beleive me... you will feel the same way as i'm describeing... just that it will be more intense then what i can type here... words can't describe the emotion i felt that day... but i'm trying...)

Anyways... I was on my knee... proposing to her... and she tells me "Gabriel, I need my space... I need time to think about our relationship... If i were to except, i'd be lieing..." And that was it... I asked her WHY!?! and she had no excuse... My emotions went wild... i felt... Anger, Sadness, betrayed... (for the second time i felt emotion... first was my daughters birth... the first time i knew I was a Man... the first time I knew what love was... the first time I cried over an emotion... well, this was the second time...) What does she want??? Space??? She had a month of space... a month to think about our relationship... (2-3 weeks actually)... So, I started thinking... She lost her love for me... she wants someone else... she doesn't want me in the picture anymore... she doesn't care for me or our family... She only care's about herself... and doesn't think about no one else... She left with my baby to her mom's house... I thought about what had happened... and i knew what I was suppose to do... I took the ring back to the jewler... exchanged for a cold necklace with a cross on it... Took it to where my daughter was... and told my wife... If my love couldn't be represented towards you through that ring... then my love for you will only add to my daughters love with this necklace... and i left...

March 22nd 2005 5:00 AM - Me and my brother get in his truck and head to Yuma, AZ to get my stuff and finish any business left over there... I asked my boss for the week... he told me he understood what i was going through and that he would grant me the week and that if i needed anyone to talk to that he'd be there if I needed... So i Start in Salinas again this Monday...

Anyways... We left at 5:00 AM and arrived in Yuma, AZ 3:00 PM... finished what I had to do... said good bye to my family and friends over there... packed all my stuff... stopped by my friend that I called before and told him what had happened... and left Yuma, AZ at 2:00 AM March 23rd 2005 to come back home... To Salinas, CA...

Yesterday... I arrived home at around 12:00 PM and did some errands... (Dropped of stock rims to body shop so they can align the TL etc...) Went to pick my daughter up... and took both my ex-girl and daughter to Chucky Cheese... Took some pics of my daughters first time at chucky cheese... My daughter was having a lot of fun with all the little kids... running around... riding the little rides... So, now... i don't know what to do... I found out i'm a bit behind on payments on some stuff... i'm going to take care of that today... I don't know how i'm behind... my ex-girl was incharge or the paying with the cash i brought home... still this sacrafices my new rims i wanted to get... I know there are more important things right now... so no new things for the Acura for a looooong time... So now all i can do is get my together... change some aspects of my life... (ie: when i want to play playstation... instead go to my daughter and play with her... take her to the park... etc...) Before i use to not excersize... now i'm going to start to... I'm thinking of the future and it includes my daughter and my ex-girl too... even though she won't be there... my plans will always have room for her...

I want to say thank you to all of you for your support... and for your comments and advice on all of this... i want to say that i might not be on here because just like the PS2... i'll probably be with my daughter somewhere instead... but i won't forget about ACURAzine... and I will be back... I'll be back a much better person then i already am...

There is a saying in Spanish... that goes something like this: "Tu primer amor simpre sera el unico verdadero... los de mas son solamente para olvidar"
"Your first love will always be you only true love... the rest are only to forget"

Its a hard time for me... and this brings tears to my eyes thinking about it... it just recently happened and that is why i would like to share my story with you all... maybe i'll right a book someday and add all this in there... Its the story of my life... and it hurts... but like the other saying goes...

"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger..." I guess the saying "Love Hurts" goes before that one... I know there are a million woman out there... a million can make me happy... and I can make all million of them happy... but my one and only true love will always be with my first love...

By the way... Amanda... if you are reading this right now... all i want to say is that I love you and always will... no matter how far apart we are... no matter who i'm with... I will sacrafice my love for you just so that you can be happy with that other person you choose down the road...

And to my daughter Marissa... if you are reading this... about 10 or 15 years have probably passed and now you know the story of why your father and mother aren't together... Don't hate your mother because of what happend between me and her... or better said... because of what happened to your mother... (lost her love for me...etc...) Be happy you still have both of us and that we will always be there for you... although not together but here for you... You are our daughter and nothing I do or your mother does will ever change that... I love you and hope you have happy memories of and with me the past years... I'm typeing this... and you are at your mom's new home... you are only 13 months old and just started walking and are trying to talk... I will be picking you up this friday March 25th 2005 so me and you can go celebrate my 22nd birthday... You don't know what is going on but i know one day you will want to know... and i will introduce you to ACURAzine... so that you will know what really happened...

To the members and friends here on ACURAzine... All i can say is thanks... and i'll be back when i get my together...
for now...

LLWesMan

Wow, quite a story. Good luck to you and your family.

GoDucksCLSPride

I'm sorry to hear all that. Best of luck to you in your future; it sounds like you've mantained a strong mind and done all the right things throughout all this....despite how hard it has been. Keep up the good work and please know that the strength, attitude, and maturity you've shown through this should make you very proud.

I like the idea of the shout outs too. This post will literally be engraved in history and ready and available for your daughter to stumble across when she is old enough to comprehend. This may help her understand why her parents arent together without any judgments upon you.

Best of luck to you

MisterMehoff

damn, brotha. You got me all swelled up. Feel ya. Even though I didn't know ya, I felt ya story. It's hard when stuff doesn't work out. Especially when you put sooo much into it. And you have a baby out of it, which makes it even worse. When the ex looks at that baby, she will see you in her, which will hurt her as much as you are hurting right now. I don't think she is strong enough to handle all that is going on. She has a lot going on with her right now. Added drama between you two is not good.

Maybe space is what you two need. She needs time to assess her feelings. You're not a bad guy out there trying to screw around her. She might feel overwhelmed. Let her go. If she comes back at the 3am in the morning knocking on your door crying because she wants you back, then you will know it was meant to be. Be strong.

FastAcura

Wow man, I'm really sorry. My girlfriend of 3 years just left me because she wanted "space" and she was with another guy the next day even though I was taking care of my problems.

I couldn't imagine what it would be like having a daughter and going through all this.

Anyway, best of luck and "keep ya head up." I don't wanna say "I know exactly what you're going through" because I don't, but I can feel your pain.

MisterMehoff

You know most women leave if they find something better. Sad to say, it has happened to me a couple times.

spooky3ce

Thanks for seeing that... today i went and dropped off all her stuff that she had in my room... i didn't say anything to her... just asked her where she wanted everything... asked her about my baby, the normal: Has she; eaten, pooped etc... hopefully Soopa and Astro hear you... or whoever is in charge of ACURAzine at that time... Soopa Jr.??? About her parents... She was raised without her father... i would have thought she wanted something diffrent for her child(s)... but i guess i was wrong... Her mother is lonely... her older son is in the ARMY over at the war thing in Afgahn... and her younger daughter is in Idaho for Rehab, she was getting in trouble... stealing stuff... doing drugs... cutting school... beating on her mom... pawning stuff from her house and family and the list can go on... So when i came into the picture... i took her only daughter... Nurse Jenni (My ex-girl's mom) yes, like the movie... told me that her daughter was doing the right thing... sounds like she's doing the same mistake she did... i didn't tell her... but i wish i had... but i can't disrespect the grandmother of my child...


Sorry if this is a sad story, and hope and wish you or anyone here on ACURAzine has to go through this... i now understand what the threads with titles "I'm going through divorce etc..." were all about... Hopefully anyone that hasn't gone through this doesn't have to... And if you do... just remember you hommie Spooky on ACURAzine...

About the baby... i'm going through that... everytime i see my Daughter i see her... i'll put a pic up of us later... I miss my wife... because I love her... but i will sacrafice my love for her for her happiness... but I still don't know if she came knocking on my door with all her stuff crying because she misses me, that i'll still letter come back... I did give her a "Virtual" time period of a week... the week is almost up... that is this week... once I start working... thats it... She will not be able to come back... regardless if it hurts me and i know i want her to come back and I love her with my life... what she has done is disrespect... if we were to come back... the first step for me would be move down south... or move to the bayarea with Jerky and all of them... Before this, i had a job option coming up... move to Pleasenton, CA... but i don't know now... i'm measuring all my options now that she doesn't want me no more... i have to think of only 1 person now... and thats My baby Marissa... i'm hopeing she comes back... but if she's to late... i won't be able to... or i will just be disrespecting myself and my home...

I have only 1 clue to that... and might be true... I'm a 250lbs. 6'1" Mexican that has a bad past that wants everything perfect for his family... Maybe i'm bad in bed... Any girls want to do a Science experiment??? i don't want to be a buster...

Anyways, the 1 clue i have is that she found someone on the net... and has been chatting... now that i left to Yuma, AZ... she thought i was an idiot that she can drop and come back without remorse or a problem... sooo, she decided to do the excuse of going to her mom's (Besides, her mom could cover for her... because i know my mother would do it for me...) so that she can flut around and if it doesn't work with him... she can come back and pick me up like a used dirty old toy she missed while playing with the new one... Sorry to hear it's happened to you a couple times... I hope no other person goes through this ever... I know some might, and i wish you all the luck you memebers have given me so that it won't happen to you...

Added to the rest of the above... I have a signed and written note from her that says and i quote:

3/21/05
I Amanda ******* the mother of Marissa ****** will not file for child support against Gabriel ****** but he will support his daughter with any necessities Marissa May need
Signed Amanda *******

I can scan if you all want proof... but i know you all beleive me... anyways... its time to take my baby back to her mothers... Again, thanks for the responses and the advice guys... i know you guys are all behind me on here... that's why i trust all of you... even though i've never met any of you... I consider everyone here a friend... friends that i trust and enjoy the best of car brands ever... ACURA... just hit me up and i'll be here for you too... Gracias...

with that said... i'm off...

BTW: tomarrow is my BDAY i'm just sad that my "wife" ex girl can't be with me on the special day my mother had me... well...

sasha

^


I'm sorry to hear all these. Stay strong, man.

spooky3ce

If you are in real life sasha... i tell you this... you'll be joining me... I know i'm a man... I know i must be strong (thanks for that advice) and i know that whatever happens is not the end of the world... but the end of the way i love... but about the crying... I'm a man... and only a real man will admit to this... I have cried every night of this week before going to bed, and i will tonight as well... the day i stop is the day i will be able to love once again... but not the same... I have given her this week... so she has until Easter Sunday... the day i take my daughter to church... the day i can pray to god she returns... the day where families re-unite... for her to come back...

I'd like to share something korny... but i think it was necesary... (sp)

I believed it once
I believed it twice
The third time you told me I love you
You weren’t so nice…

You wrote me a poem
To believe in your love
You told me you loved me
But that was just a lie you pulled from above

I believed you loved me
So I grew to love you
There were the best years of my life
We had a child too…

Our child Marissa, her name means of the sea
Our sea of love, of my life
I wanted us to be together forever
I wanted you to be my wife

Things have changed
You lost your love for me
You wanted space and time
I sacrifice the love that said, “You were mine…”

I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know where I am
I all know is one thing
My love for you will never be in another’s hand

I’ve tried to be strong
I’ve done the impossible
You’ve told me to move on
But to every other woman my heart will be un-crossable

You were my first love
You will be my last
If any other woman crosses me
It’s only to forget the past…

By Spooky...

She wrote me a poem a few years back... i think it was 1 year before my daughter was born... she said in the poem that she will only grow to love me and nothing more... etc... So this is my answer to this poem... I'm not a poet... i got an F in my english class in HighSchool for that assignment... but i'm guessing i'm getting sort of better as life hits me with all its got... I'll keep this updated to see what happens between me and her...

Sorry, i don't have the original poem she wrote me... i gave it all back to her... it was hard emptying all her stuff and putting it in boxes... I'm a man and i'll admit... i cried all day while i was putting her stuff away... Let's see what happens... hopefully everything turns out ok... usually does... :hopeing:

sasha

I cried for you as I read the story, spooky3ce... Maybe I don't know exactly how difficult this is for you since this involves a daughter you love so much, but I do understand how painful it is to lose someone. It hurts but we have to accept it and move on.

You dream of having a strong, close family and this means so much to you. It is evident that you have done your best to make this work by being a giving husband and caring father. Don't ever think that you have failed because you did not. It just didn't work because only one person was exerting an effort.

spooky3ce

What can i say... or do... besides thank all of you... Today... i already know what will be my wish... and I know that it will not come true... I just hope that everything turns out alright... Here we are... my baby was just turning 1 month old...



I don't understand why can't we be like that... There is nothing stopping that picture to actually be reallity... to be true... Its all her... and it hurts me that she doesn't want what that picture shows... I don't know... that is the only picture that i have of her now... because its the only picturre that is important... it was of my family... that we created... and she is just throwing it away... what can i do now... nothing... Thank you for the support sasha... i know i havn't failed... but it hurts me to think that she is the one that has... it hurts me to know that she quit on something that is the most important thing in life... which is family...

Right now i'm 22 now... I will be picking my daughter up later today to go pick myself up a cake... and hope God (whoever it is) hears my wish...

MisterMehoff

Happy B-day Spooky

CLPowersWife

I'm so sorry babe. It sounds like you've done just about everything you can to be responsible and a good father/husband. I'm sorry that some people just ... well... suck, and can't see the good in their lives. She will surely come to regret the loss of a guy like you.

With that said, the absolute best thing you can do for your daughter, besides spending as much time as possible with her, is to pay child support (even though Amanda isn't filing for it). Find out how much you'd be legally obligated to pay, and then make a concerted effort to send that money to her every month, or at least quarterly. Even if Amanda is financially stable, it takes two parents (and often, two parents' incomes) to raise a child. Besides, as the years pass and your daughter gets older, you don't want her mother to tell her that she can't have such and such because Daddy doesn't give her the money she needs. As long as you can afford it, pay what you can, because it's about more than just you, or just Amanda, it's about Marissa, and making sure she has the best life possible.

Alternatively, if you don't want to actively send her a check every month, open a 529 savings plan for Marissa and contribute to it often. Don't tell her or her mother about it; when she gets ready to go to college, she'll have the money to go wherever she wants. If you want more information on custodial accounts, let me know.

GoDucksCLSPride

Happy Birthday Spooky.

While I don't agree with the child support advice above, I do agree that measures equating that support need to be taken. If your ex is intending for an equal partnership in raising this child, then effectively, it is an equal financial burden and should be treated as such. No need for you to send a check for your ex to buy a new skirt because your daughters financial needs have already been met. I see a lot of this around and it makes me sick.

If you cannot be a 50/50 parent however, then child support should implemented of course.

The custodial account is an excellent idea regardless of whether you pay child support or not. It will definitely give her a leg up to a bright future independent from how your child support situation works out.

Good luck to you and Happy Easter.

CLPowersWife

Yeah, I'm not saying that you should buy her off... I just meant that in order to make sure you're fulfilling your parental obligations, be sure and help with the financial support if and when necessary, and if it's not necessary, then do the custodial thing.

I'm just trying to save you from the possibility of being labeled a deadbeat dad (since you're obviously not one)... and even with her little affadavit there, she can talk shit all she wants when you're not around. Know what I mean?

spooky3ce

Thanks for the happy birthday wishes... buuut... like the title now says... THE END!!!

No one can beat this... Its my Birthday as you all know... There's a Full Moon out tonight here... It's good friday... and i finally ended the wait for my "Wife" (ex-Girl)...

Today, I had some errands to run... Cancel some credit cards... cancel netflix... pay some payments... get a hair cut... and help my ex-girl's mom fix her garage door... Well here is another long story for all of you that are interested... btw, thank's for all the advice and opinions you all have helped me with through this situation... well, here goes...

12:00 p.m March 25th 2005 -
I left to my ex-girls mother's house to go see my daughter and to help clear some room for her garage door to be fixed by this fix-it guy or something... anyways, i went over and helped out... After we were done... Me and my bro went to go get something to eat... so, at about 2:00 PM my ex-girl came home from work... at this point she has the nerve to ask me for cash... She said that she wanted some cash because she doesn't like being without money in her pocket... BTW: She wouldn't be lacking cash if she was still with me... but thats the past...

In my head i was like "WTF is she thinking, i'm going to be an idiot and give her cash so she can go with someone else to the movies or get beer or something... F%#$ THAT!!!" I didn't tell her but she knew i was thinking that... So i stalled and got busy doing other stuff... BTW... when she arrived... not even a happy birthday Gabriel or nothing... that didn't tick me off as bad as she didn't even say HI or notice me... instead she was just there... ignoring me... washing her moms car... until she asked for the cash... anyways... i left to run the last of my errands... then came back to see if she wanted me to fill her car with gas (Again, i am not giving her cash...) So... She was probably in the bathroom... and i told her mom... you know what... i have to go, i know when im not wanted around... so i left... My ex-girl's mom then asks me to bring her a latte... so I brought my daughter a strawberry with cream and my ex-girl's mom a Sugarless Low Fat Macademia nut Latte... while at starbucks, my ex-girl calls me and says, "Why did you leave so soon... my mom said you came and left in a hurry..." i told her i came... stayed there for a while... she took to long so i left... but i had to go back to drop something off... I told her i needed to talk to her...

4:00 PM March 25th 2005 -
She sat down on her driveway as i leaned on her mom's car... she was facing the street... and i was facing towards the neighbors house... We started talking about why she had left me... and the following is our conversation: A is her and G is me...

G: I know now that you need your space... you need your time... but as every day goes by... my love for you grows... but at the same time... I feel you slipping away... I love you with all my heart and I don't want you to go... the more time we spend apart... the more i know we will end apart...
A: So what do you want me to do... I finally got the courage to leave you...
G: You told me you were going to leave me twice before... why didn't you then... why pick this particular moment... why???
A: Because you intimidate me... i was afraid of you...
G: Why afraid of me... how did i intimidate you... with love... were you overwhelmed with love???
A: I left because i saw me and you going no where... We were going to live at that house (Spooky's Parents House) for ever... and nothing was going to change... i wanted change... I wanted to go out and have fun... i want to be with all my friends etc...
G: I told you a week before you left that i was going to get another position... that i wanted to move out of Monterey County and go to the Bay Area... We were looking for apartments and everything... we were looking at the houses...
A: Yeah, we always looked at houses, but i saw that we were never going to get anywhere...
G: I had a plan for us to move out of here... get our own place finally... make our family... what else do you want...
A: Time and Space...
G: Well time's running out... and the space is as far as its going to grow... because if it grows any more... i know i will loose you, and that is something i do not want... I want a better life for Marissa then what you had... i don't want her living between her parents... i want her living with her parents... you know that life... your mother left your father... and you were raised by a single parent... i'm not saying she did a bad job... your mom did an excelent job... but do you want the same for Marissa???
A: No... I want attention... i wanted you to pay more attention to me... When you use to come from work... you'd come in... and go straight to your ACURAzine... or your playstation... You would never want to go anywhere... take me anywhere etc...
G: You never asked me to take you anywhere... i'm not the kind of guy that knows where the clubs are... i dont know what kind of bars are out there... Besides... you never asked me to go anywhere... the one time you did ask me was to that Freestyle Explosion... and what did i do... I bought those tickets and took you... If you wanted to go anywhere... you would have told me... The times I asked to go anywhere, was probably to the movies...
A: Yeah, you use to take me to the movies... but you always had to bring your brother...
G: Whats wrong with that... I don't want to leave him out all the time... What do you want me to do... leave him out of my life... I'm sorry that you weren't close to your siblings... but i am... and i was hopeing that you would consider my brother as your younger brother... if we were to of gotten married... he would be either way... Besides, if you had a problem with him... that was between you and him... not me and you... you could have told me that he bugged you... i would have stopped inviting him...
A: No you wouldn't, you would have gotten all offended...
G: So, you would have been communicating with me at the least... what did you care if i got offended... i would have realized you didn't want my bro to hang out with us from time to time... and would have talked to him and changed that...
A: You wouldn't change anything... you will always be the same... a person doesn't change from one night to the other...

(OMFG, i felt like telling her... "How about the night before you left... you were telling me how much you loved me and missed me... etc... and the next day... BAM you were gone because you lost your love for me...)

G: If it ment keeping you... i would change the world... what do you want me to do... All i can think of is you... why can't you see i love you??? I drove 700 miles to come see you... why because of love... I hadn't slept the past two nights before that... hadn't eaten... because i was love sick in Yuma... when i came... i don't even know how i made it... but i do know that my love for you brought me to you...
A: Why did you come then... you should have stayed over there...
G: Because i love you... because i love You and Marissa... what more do you want...

(Right here i wanted to tell her... "Do you want that kind of guy that beats on his wife constantly instead of a man that loves her for who she is???") I was confused at this point...

A: But you never payed attention to me... you just went on the computer or played your playstation...
G: I use to come home... kiss you, said high... hug you... watch TV with you... talking about our day... then i'd go to the computer or play playstation... waiting for you to tell me something like... Lets go out blah blah blah...
A: But i know you... you wouldn't want to... you'd be... there are to many "Busters" and i don't feel like going...
G: Did i say no to you when i took you to Freestyle Explosion??? Did i ever say no to you when you wanted to go to the movies??? NO!!! I was always taking you places... I had plans for when i came back... and i communicated them with you... I wanted to get our own place in the Bay Area and work over there... guess you didn't want that... guess you didn't want a family...
A: I did... but you'll never change... i know you...
G: I already told everyone on ACURAzine that this was going to be my last days on here... I was about to go sell my PS2 and all 40 something games because i have no use for it... I was going to disconnect the intrernet from out computer so that we wouldn't have to fight about that anymore... This trip to Yuma... it was to get cash so we can take a trip...
A: About the cruise we were going to go on this Auguest... You can cancel the check... just call the lady...
G: see we were going to go to a cruise...
A: Cancel that deposit then...
G: (I was thinking about what i was going to say next...)

G: *I kneel down infront of her... she was in indian style on the driveway... i put my hand on her knee and said... "You know what... i understand i can't make you happy... and if i have to sacrafice my love... everything we had together (except Marissa which will always be mine)... If my love doesn't mean anything to you anymore... then I'll Sacrafice it for you happiness... that is how much i love you... if you are happy without me... then i won't call you... i won't bother you no more... between me and you will only be 1 thing... That is Marissa... When I call you... i will only call you because of Marissa... When you call me... just call me about Marissa... nothing more... nothing less... Marissa is what matters between us now... even though there isn't an "us"... and i wish you luck in finding that happiness... eventhough i wish, with my whole heart... with my soul... it would have been with me..."

At this point i saw tears in her eyes and i started to get teary eyed as well... so i got up... turned the GMC on... and drove away... listening to some rap song that says... "If you want it... please come get it... etc..." I'll get the name later...

Immediatly... i busted a U and came back... i told her... I came back to get Marissa... i'm going to take her to dinner with me... to celebrate my Birthday...

~~~ Birthday Celebration comes and goes~~~

It is now 8:30 PM and i have my daughter asleep... tired of watching veggitales... I'm now writting the beginning of this and the phone rings...

A: How you doing...
G: Not to good...
A: How's Marissa...
G: Sleeping... BTW, i'm keeping her tonight... since you work a long shift tomorrow... i can bring her to you tomorrow evening...
A: I work all afternoon tomorrow until Sunday morning at the residents house...
G: Ok, so i guess i'll keep here all night tonight... and all day and night tomorrow... I'll take her to you Sunday Afternoon... after i take my daughter to Mass...
A: ok...
G: Last thing... I just want to tell you that even though we are not together anymore... I will always love you... ok...
A: ...
G: Good night...
A: Good night...
G: Sweet Dreams...
A: Ok... bye...
G: bye...

After she hung up... i starting thinking of what i will miss the most... and that the last thing i wrong up top... and it goes something like this...

Before we ever had Marissa... this would be our good night... and i will miss this everynight for the rest of my life... I now say it to my daughter even though she doesn't understand... because she is the only one i love now...

G: Good night...
A: Good night...
G: Sweet Dreams...
A: Sweet Dreams...
G: Only if they are of you... my love... ... ...

And that is how Spooky and Blueeyez's relationship of 5 wonderfull years came to an...
End...

I want to thank everyone here that supported me through this ordeal... and for all the comments, opinions, and great advice given to me through all of this... I now know who my friends are... everyone on ACURAzine...

spooky3ce

Gracias... Thanks... Hopefully i will have many more...

Thanks, i know she will regret... she might want to come back someday... but that will be to late... for my love for her will still be strong... i will love her till i die... she was my first... for everything... the first woman i proposed to... but even though... i will not be able... might be... but wouldn't be able to accept her back into my love life... regardless of the love i have for her... it'll equal no other... hopefully i can be strong enough to give love once again to a woman that deserves it...

About child support... F#$% NO!!! I'm not giving her any money... regardless of how much i love her... i don't and won't trust the buster that she will be with later down the road... That is why i got the note saying... she will not file for it... regardless... But i will support my child for whatever she needs... If my baby girl needs diapers... all she has to do is buy them for her... give me the reciept... i'll sign it... give her a copy and reinburse her the money... and done deal... Cloths??? Food??? All she needs to do is give me a list of what she needs... or i'll take them both... and buy my baby girl what she needs... but heed my word... My ex-girl will not see any Green from my pocket... Remember... the note said necesities... if my daughter needs a new DVD player at age 8... She's going to have to wait for X-Mas or her birthday... Or maybe i'll bring it by surprise one weekend... or have it at my house for her... in her room... etc... just my

About the Savings plan... I just had a Savings account in the bank for her... where i put money in monthly... Her mom doesn't know about it... just me... ... either way... I nor Marissa can touch it until she's 18... so when she needs the cash... it'll be there...

Thanks for the offer on the info for custodial accounts... but i want my relationship with my daughter to be equal to the relationship to her mother... if i know i've had more time and spent more money on her and taught her new things here and there... etc... more then her mother has... i'll make sure her mother has the equal amount of time to do all of that with her too...

I'm planning a trip to Disneyland when she is about 5 or 6 years old as of now... but that trip we will make only us three... no one else... if my ex-girl wants to bring her BF... then it'll be only me and Marissa... because she's going to have to choose between Marissa and her new BF... Same goes with me... the girl i'm with at the time is not coming... regardless of what she says... if she wants to break off with me... so be it... i love my daughter more then life itself... so no matter what... i'm going to take my daughter to meet Mickey Mouse and friends... My parents didn't do it for me... so i want to do it for my Daughter...

spooky3ce

Thanks for the B-day Wishes man...

I stated the measures i'm taking to have equal support and an equal partnership in raising my girl... same with equal financial burden... I will pay for what i can... and so should her mother... everything 50/50...

About the me sending money... like i said... she's not goin to see any green out of my pocket...

Story:
My cousin was in the same situation... only his soon to be wife's ex-bf got out of jail... so she bailed on my cousin and went with the other guy... she was pregnate with my cousins kid though... so she put child support on him etc... He sent her the money and the guy that she was with would take it and buy his beer and crack with that...

i think that is wrong... and that is why i made sure to get a signed contract between me and her that She will not file for it... because i am not paying for her next BF's rims or beer etc... and i'm not going to support her ass either... in order for me to support a woman... a woman needs to support me too... that's where the partnership comes to play... Woman and Men Roles in a Marriage... etc...

Well thanks for the luck... and Happy easter to all of you too!!!

spooky3ce

Oooo if she does that... I'll make sure to fight for full custody of my daughter... besides... My wife lives in a house that is full of QVC boxes etc... they live with a cat that leaves hairs all over the place... the house is litterally not child safe... i have photographs and video's of this stuff that i can take in to court if anything happens... then thats when i'll file for the support... hopefully, that doesn't have to happen though... i wouldn't want to go through all that for something stupid that my ex-girl told my daughter about me... I have nothing to hide either way... and i will support my daughter to the fullest... 113% for my daughter... -13% for the ex-girl...

I have many choices opened to me now... And no... i will not drown my sorrow into a bottle... like most people do... I've pondered on the idea... but i am not like most guys out there... guess all i can think of is getting ahead in life... i will make a lot of cash for my baby girl... and come out ahead... you watch me... So far i'm contemplateing on takeing the job in the Bay Area... Pleasanton to be exact... but I might also follow my dream of being a California Highway Patrol... Dead Beat Dad my ass... so i start my exercise routine Monday morning... 5:00 AM sharp... Wish me luck guys/gals...



BTW: Soopa and Astro... sorry if i had to get all this off my chest here... I know this takes up a lot of room with all the tyeping and whatnot... and i'm sorry if i had to vent... Thanks for having me here as a member... i will not be leaving ACURAzine afterall... but won't be posting as much due to spending time with my daughter at the park and playing outside... and with her toys... etc... Again... Gracias for this space here on Acurazine...



Oh and if you are a single, beautiful woman that is inteligent, respectfull and love children... Little girls in particular... reading this thread and want to try and start a long term relationship maybe have more children in the long run... with ugly... i mean me... then shoot me a call...

its going to take some time before i can date again... i still love both my ex-girl and daughter to much... maybe in a couple months... who knows...

vanz

Spooky, you leaving us???????

damn...I didn't know you were having these troubles. Hope you stick around dude, you're a cool guy!!!!

I'm sorry you are going through this. I've never experienced something like this, so I don't know what to tell you. Good luck in life, and hope you're ok.

sean

BTW: Happy Birthday!!!!