Underpaid

ill make it short....

my girl and i have been arguing, not majorly, but small arguements and haevnt really seen eachother but maybe 2 days in the last 2 weeks....but anyways tonight was talkin to her on the phone, and she said she was online talkin to her friend steph who was giving her advice...i said..advice on what...she said advice on you. So instinctivly im like....welll. what did u need advice about..and she WILL NOT TELL ME...for the love of god...

so i told her it was unfair for her to keep things for me, and for us to continue and grow in our relationship we should be more open about stuff...am i wrong? i figure if it wasnt a big deal she would tell me about it, rather than fight to death to keep it from me??


any suggestions?

kevin79925

quit being insecure...

UNCTYPE-S

she shouldnt have opened her mouth if she wasnt gonna tell you. kind of immature if you ask me.

Underpaid

see i agree that she shouldnt have opened her mouth if she wasnt gonna say anything...

Underpaid

but i guess i can sorta see how it makes me look insecure a little, it just bothers me because i know how she is and she will barely ever let me know when something is really wrong...so its jsut frusterating.

kevin79925

dump her and pass her number to me! ill put her in her place!



































haha jk man.. just talk to her about it ... if its meant to be it will work out.

98CLChick

Yeah it is. She is probably just doing it to irritate you.

GoDucksCLSPride

I think both of you have legitamet positions. While it is true that growing a relationship requires openness and honesty, sometimes confiding in your friends about your signicant other is a necessary, if not healing, given. ie: talking it over with friends may solve the problem in and of itself.

Additionaly, she should have the freedom to call on her close friends for advice without it being considered as a stunt to your growth.

That said, if you really feel you need to find out, the best you can do is communicate your concerns about the recent problems and likely her complaints will follow.

If you really want to know, just bring up your problems and she will garaunteed follow suite. However, you will likely instigate some undesireable results for no other reason than your own curiousity. If you must know, just start bitchin, otherwise, let it go.

Underpaid

so CL chick, what do u think, she says its nothing, but i dont understand girls...nothing means everyhting sometimes and everything means nothing...im not really stressin too much about it, i dont love this girl or anything ...but from a females point what else do u think is going on?

well i need some shut eye...ill check the posts again tomarrow...

UNCTYPE-S

right, but she shouldnt say she was talkin about him and then not say anything.

thats like saying, "hey dude, i heard something fucked up about you today."
and then not tell.

GoDucksCLSPride

True, i would chalk that up to the previously mentioned immaturity. She is the one who brought it up without him asking. Then she refuses to tell. Thats retarded.

She has the right to confide in her friends but no right to play with his emmotions by dangling carrots.

GeishaGirl

Everyone needs to confide sometimes. I'd be irritated if someone did that to me too, its like they can tell you they were talking about you but can't tell you what is being said. She shouldn't have mentioned that it was about you in the first place if she wasn't willing to spit it out

Underpaid

thanks you all make strong points, i jsut wanted to make sure that i wasnt overreacting by trying to get her to just tell me, and its also good to know that females agree with me on this issue!

thanks alot guys...

btw i just text a message to her telling her that it is important for us to openly communicate with eachother, and that i miss her alot, and i hope she has a good day. .and i apologized for seeming pushy if i was in any way.

ghost_masterCL

Dude, don't be a pussy. girls hate that.

jk

but seriously man. I dated a girl that did that to me constantly. she ended up cheating on me, supposedly right after I got her pregnant. WE broke up adn boy am I glad I got out of that. she was s uch abitch. if she keeps doing this, get the fuck out. good luck.

evilone

she might have been talking about breaking up with you and didnt want to tell you that.. bishes are evil!!!!!!! there is always that obe friend who is like dump his ass i got a hot guy for you

Waddy

If you don't love her then why the fuck are you with her?

Damn man quit being so needy, break-up with the girl and go have fun, you're 22! Why the hell would you have "girlfriend" that you do not love at that age? You are in the prime of your young life, you shouldn't be calling any girl your girlfriend unless you love her, quit being co-dependent and go have some fun.

Unless you're one of those male drama queens that thinks shit like this is fun, "OMG she won't tell me what she means, OMG I have to find out, OMG she is so sneaky, OMG I'm so gonna get her" :gheylaugh:.

1killercls

I am going to need to see nude pics of her before I can make a call on this one.

evilone

im sure u can figure where i was guna head with this one dad

Doc.Booty

Kick her ass to the curb after you take and post nudes of her for us.

1killercls

Shadzilla

Amen to that, enjoy yourself while you still have time, don't tie yourself down to one woman this early in life unless she's "The One", which I doubt she is since you don't love her.

supermegaglossy

she probably said it on purpose. to get you thinking.

if you don't love her, you're arguing, you don't really see her anymore...

you guys need to talk.


PS. i agree with waddy. if you do'nt love her, and you don't feel like you're going to love her in the future, save yourself some time and aggravation and move on...

SilviaGTO

what is she in 8th grade?

GreenMonster

Where is 03CLsPunisher when you need him ?? He'd tell you how to handle this...

Holler back... aight...

Underpaid

well waddy we have only been seeing eachother for 4 months now, so to be "in love" with her at this point in time wouldn't be justifiable, unless your one of those types who believes in love at first sight...which i am not.. I do believe i could love her, it just takes time for me, alot more than 4 months time... if i didnt think we could possibly have a future together i would leave her. But being a person who truely knows what love is about, i would find myself having a hard time commiting to love after 4 months with anyone...

ive never heard anyone say you need to know you love someone before you ask them to be involved in a relationship with you, until now, and thast what you have basically stated. that she shouldnt be my girlfriend unless shes "the one."


and im not really into the whole drama queen thing.........

Waddy

Hey it doesn't matter how long you have been seeing her, if you can non-chalantly say about your "girlfriend" that "you don't love her or anything". That immediately sends of red flags in my mind as to the worthiness of this relationship.

When I was 23 I got with my recent ex, and while I didn't love her when I got with her i had very strong feelings, strong enough to give up bachelorhood at a time when I should have been having fun and banging chicks left and right.

I couldn't picture myself saying "it's not like I love this girl or anything" at any point in our relationship. If you can make a statement like that, IMO you don't really want to be with the person. You just doing it because it's something to do.

anothercls

I didn't read the entire thread, but here is something interesting.

A guy I knew was with a girl for about seven months and said he never loved her, but she loved him, it didn't hurt the relationship. One night she was out and got killed on a motorcycle and he seemed to realize how much he really did love the lady. It might not feel like it now, but when she is gone it might seem different.

Underpaid

you make a good point waddy, after my recent relationships failing , and being so deeply in love with my ex girlfriend, to the point i would die for her. I guess i have built up a defense mechanisim to the idea of even falling in love with another girl again because of the shit i went through. I didnt ever really realize i typed that, i msut have done it to reassure myself to not get too close.

We had a conversation tonight, she said what she wouldnt tell me wasnt anything at all to worry about, so yes i think she kinda acted immature by not just letting it out. at the same time i explained to her my situation on love, and how i used to NEVER get invloved with a girl unless i thoguth there was the possibilty for a future with us. Now we have this relationship, with no thoughts of future, and i opened up to talk to her about the possibility of a future. She basically has the idea that all relationships come to an end,( this comming from her previous ones as examples). So we have jsut decided to take things one day at a time and see where it takes us.

you all have offered good advice and made me think things through