This has been quite a long week. On Wednesday, my supposed girlfriend had suspicion that I hadnt let people in my past go (I'm rightfully admit that I have some commitment issues myself). All the conversations that I have had with people in the past have just been talk, as it never went past there. Regardless, because she has a background in criminology, and because she has friends in law enforcement (past and present) and she used that to get ahold of my past text messages on my regular phone (not even my Iphone...) Of course, I silently fumed about it all day yesterday.

Of course, she couldnt prove that I was cheating (since I wasnt), and I chose to stopped talking to all of them, she STILL wants to be with me (Thus, other than trying to call me out, I dont see the point of this), I feel like even if I did want to be with her now, that pretty much crossed the line with me.

My question to you AZ, is this:
1. Isnt that illegal in some way?
2. What are your thoughts?

 

1. I think it might be illegal - but do you really want to press charges to your GF?

2. Girls have issues - so do some guys. My ex used to go through my phone when I was taking a shower or something to see the numbers I dialed - she was all sorts of insecure. Trust is a fragile thing man - if you don't have it, i don't see a relationship working. You need to sit down with her and say that "hey, even if I do talk to some of my ex's, I'm still with you and I'm not looking to go down that path with them anymore".


Though I can see the other side of things too - because I had a problem with my (now wife) talking to her ex before as well - but she cared enough about our relationship that she stopped talking to him and we've been good ever since.

So do you value this relationship enough to stop talkin to the past people? If not, then just move on

 

That is lame that she went behind your back and used other resources to read your text messages. I am also confused with the fact that law enforcement used company time and resources for personal gain.

How do you know shes telling the truth, maybe she bs'ed and made you confess.

it sounds like she doesnt trust you.

 

Dump her.

 

I know it because I made her tell me. She quoted the area code of someone and what they said nearly word for word, so I know it wasnt BS.

She doesnt trust most people. The fact that its long distance makes it worse.

 

+1

she obviously doesnt trust you.

 

she quoted? she still can be lying you know.
Do you know the process involved on acquiring past text messages?
I dont think its as easy as pulling up personal info on their computers.
Law enforcement would have to go through your phone carrier.
What for? its not an investigation. there has been no crime.
Not to mention the checks and balances that would follow in law enforcement.

 

Unfortunately guys have just as many issues as girls, just different and are not willing to say they have issues. Girls are allowed to be vulnerable since their women, I know it doesnt sound right but how many guys do you see crying about movies.... exactly.

In her case, especially with her experience and friends base, I would think that she is snooping around mainly because she has the ability to. A lot of what is not done by us isnt because we dont want to, but because we dont have the ability or knowledge. Knowledge is power and she is feeling very powerful.... or at least it seems that way.

Perhaps you should have a talk with her to express your feeling, not argue but talk. You would be surprised how much women appreciate heart-felt talks. Then you will be able to determine if what she is doing is only because of the ability to, or if she truly does not trust you.

This is all my opinion of course.

 

I dont think so either, and the fact that you have to go thru your phone carrier says alot. I still am going to call mine sometime today to see what that process is. You're right though, no crime and no investigations. And this person she "claims" to know isnt in law enforcement now, but has that background.

I'm suspicious because one phone (the one in question) does not have a lock on it, but the smartphone does.

 

1. No.

2. Break up with her.

 

 

I would guess it is illegal cus she had no right to get law enforcement personnel to get your past text messages (they had no right or warrant to do so also).

Along with everyone else, seems like she can't trust you. And to go to THOSE lengths... :dumpher:

 

i'm interested in how this friend of hers obtained records from your phone company.

as for the girl, dump her.

 

get a pay as you go phone in a fake name to call your other gf's

 

If she's already in her mid-20s, she will have trust issues for life. Like someone above mentioned, I had an ex-, beautiful Japanese girl, used to model, who would look at my cell when someone callled and I was in the shower. Then she would innocently ask me later, "Honey, you missed a call, who was it?" then admit that she looked at the Caller ID and was just "testing me."

I don't care if her pussy tasted like Stella Artois, that behavior was inexcusable and crossed so many boundaries it was reprehensible.

Your GF and hopefully soon-to-be ex- makes my ex-GF look perfectly sane

In my experience, women with trust issues develop them long before meeting you. Either they had been cheated on in the past, or perhaps more commonly, they have been the one who cheated.

 

As always, there are two ways to approach this issue. You can do it with an iron fist and dump her to push her off to the next guy. This will never fix her issues, not that its your problem but if you care enough about her you may want to make it your problem. I can guarantee you that most girls, but not all, would love to try to fix a guys problems whether they know it or not.

How many girls do you know that date losers..... exactly.

The other option is to let her know how you feel about this situation. Like I said before, a heart-felt talk will go a long way in any girls book. If you care enough about her and shes more than just a permanent booty call, you would try to work this out. Let her know where your line is and if she cant respect that.... then "toot it and boot it".

 

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Trust us.. she's either insecure or can't be trusted herself. Usually the most suspicious have the most to hide. Save your time and energy and call it off.

 

What they said^^

Dump her, trust is the number one concern in a relationship.

 

Be done with her. She can stalk you. Seriously.

 

If he dumps her she might end up stalking him lol. Which is worse..... sometimes its cheaper to keeper or in this case safer lol.

But if you do dump her, sleep with her Mom first..... teach her to have some real trust issues.

 

It's just not worth the wasted time and heartbreak OP is going to have to endure. He can't make her a charity case and after 6 months, he should cut his losses because soon it will be 6 years and she will have his balls in a sling as she tries to exert control to satiate her own deep seated insecurity and mistrust.

 

fixed.

 

 

Tell her to F off if she's trying to snoop around your phone messages, especially if she got ahold of them through someone else. That is certainly an invasion of privacy and I would tell her to get lost. Run far, far away. I dated a cop's daughter and she tried pulling similar shit on me, trying to have cops drive past my house and shit (different juridictions). All I can tell you is get away from this girl, whether you choose to pursue legally beyond that is up to you, but I'd get away and stay away from this girl as fast as possible

 

bitch is crazy

 

^

 

bitch be trippin

 

What a creeper

 

Bingo! She has trust issues, and they will get worse man. I know she may be pretty or for whatever reason you are with her, but the simple fact of the matter is since you are government, and you go on travel sometimes, she is going to wonder where you are. People with trust issues are like this.

I would seriously think about getting out now. Of course, that's easier said than done.

 

Nothing could be further from the truth.

 

I know that in a serious relationship its hard to get rid of someone who you've shared a bond with the past couple of months or years. But as others will tell you, she will never trust you when you go to work, travel, go to the store, etc. She will call your work number to check up on you to make sure you're there, she will call your hotel to make sure you're there or where you say you'll be, etc. She will go to great lengths to check up on you. Is that the kind of relationship you want to be in, someone who doesn't trust you?

 

not at all...

 

Cool, time to post pics.

 

^. Pronto!

 

I would say dump her too. This is only going to escalate from here.

 

Kinda harsh IMO...... I still say to sleep with her Mom before you dump her,

 

^ LMFAO aahahaha i would too why not.... Post some Pics

 

One more thing guys.... before you take a chick into serious consideration for a future wife, please take a look at her Mom, its a good example of what she will look like in 20 years..... A lesson I could have learned from my ex wife's mom......

 

Reminds me of a story with my MIL.

My family and some of my sisters-in-law were staying at my MIL's place. There were some sleeping/space issues, so I told my MIL that I could sleep on the couch in the livingroom, if needed.

My MIL heard that and piped in, "Just be prepared for the midnight raping. " (My MIL was recently divorced)

Me:

Her: "Hey, once you go me, you'll forget my daughter "

Me:

 

Whoa, there's an idea.. why not fuck with her.. what were we thinking..

Type up some sexy texts to her mom's phone but save them in your draft folder. Do the same for her best gf's.. something to the effect..

"Last night was great"
"You gave me dynomite head.."
"Your P is so T & W"
"We can't keep sneaking around like this.."
"I think you gave me the clap"