So my wife has been dropping hints lately that she wants to have a baby. I keep telling her we are not financially ready yet (I'm sure we could cut back and get in a position to be financially ready).

My question is directed at those that have or planning to have children soon:
1) Do you wait until you are financially ready?
2) Just let Nature take its course and roll with the punches?


BTW: One of my close friend got his wife preggers during the week he attended my destination wedding!

 

no one is ever really ready.

but planned births are all the rage now. If it's too planned, and it ends up failing in the beginning, then she'll be disappointed and this hormonal cycle will just get worse.

but if you feel like you aren't ready to bring a bugger into the world, then express your feelings towards her. If you decide to jump her ship, then more power to you two

 

Kids are just alot of money and much more responsibility. I remember when I first got my dogs... There ends my ability to be care free and take off at the drop of a dime. Now I have to make sure they go to the Vet twice a year, feed them, clean up after them, and make sure they have a sitter if I want an extended weekend or take a vacation. The only grace is if I am tired of playing with my dogs, they go into their crate and not worry that they will get into stuff or hurt themselves.

With a kid, I have to be on them like white on rice and I can see it getting exhausting real fast.

Plus I want to have a solid career first. So far I've just been bouncing between jobs that go nowhere, but paid well.

 

You will never be ready...Just do it...

 

Don't wait. Do it while you are young - it is easier when you are not committed in full to an established career.

 

Well she mentioned trying this fall.... She wants to be able to work through July of next year... We'll see. She'll have to bamboozle me.

We're going to Hawaii this December, maybe I'll have me a Hawaiian baby. lol.

 

 

Half White/Half Mutt... I wonder how that will turn out...

 

I have to agree with Whiskers.

I learned 2 years, 8 months ago that life is what happens when you're busy making plans.

<-----By the way....my son Elliott just turned 2.

 

My wife's BC must be really good since I've been with her for 8 years (married, going on 1 year) and never had an 'accident.'

 

I tried to tell my wife we needed to "be financially ready" as well- she disagreed and we now have an 11-year old and a 9-year old... I'm not even sure I was given a choice on when to have the kids.

G/L, txathlete... enjoy your last few months of independence.

P.S. My version of "financially ready" was after I got the Lamborghini... my wife didn't fall for that....

 

Mine are 14 and 12 - had them when we were 26 and 24, so we were young by most counts. Finances are a legit consideration (they were for us) but in all fairness to her you should have an objective to meet and a plan (that both of you are in on) to get there. For us, we had to pay off two loans, I had to get a raise, and that offset her not working. Took about 18 months, so we sarted trying about 9 months in. She had our son the month she stopped working. But don't let this drag on without an end in site - decide where you need to be and how long it will get there. If she's anxious for one, it's only fair.

I agree with most here - there is no perfect time. If you wait for financial security, you'll be waiting a long time. My advice would be once you reach a point where it's not plain irresponsible, go for it.

 

My wife and I started trying about 2 years ago since we were "ready" for a baby in our lives financially. Honestly, I don't think that day ever comes.

My wife is now a little less than 3 weeks away from her due date. I'm excited as hell and scared shitless at the same time.

 

i was told by a well off relative that if you wait til you are financially you will never have kids.

mrs dallison and i have the pleasure of watching our niece or visiting. Let me tell you, it is a lot of f-ing work. we have 3 dogs ourselves and by the time we get home from work there isn't any time.

We would rather be the well off aunt/uncle that can give our niece whatever she wants and then give her back

 

 

You're shooting blanks dude. She got off the pill 6 months ago.

 

Also remember you are obligated to support them financially until they are 18 (I think that is nationwide).

Don't wait too long if you are definitely going to have kids. You don't want to be slaving away when you are 60 trying to put your kid through college.

 

Trust me when I say, "I'm not shooting blanks." lol. Just real lucky...knock on wood.

I suppose if I stopped buying gadgets, toys for my car, eating out every weekend, buying lunch, just cut back on expenses... We could afford to have a child. Just not looking forward to cleaning up poop.

 

I thought about that. They better do well in school and get full ride scholarships!

My wife is 4 years younger than me. In in my very early 30's and she's still in her 20's.

 

Shit happens. You'll get used to it. I have been pooped on, puked on, pissed on, drooled on, and it just doesn't bother me any more.

A kid is not the end of life dude. Yes, maybe scale back the toys and stuff you don't need. But having a kid and balancing an income is what most people eventually do. You're not doing anything out of the ordinary.

 

My advice as a father of a 5 y/o and a 1.75 y/o:

1. You are never financially ready, but you'll adjust.

2. Get any travel you want to do, esp. international travel out of the way. It'll be tough and expensive with a kid. I'm not going anywhere for a LONG time, especially since I have to by 2 more seats on a plane now. F that.

 

I guess my biggest fear is karma biting me in the ass by having a child that is fugly (I personally think we'd make a good looking child) or a kid with some health problems. Lord knows I've make fun of those less fortunate...

 

you'll be fine with spending a lil on yourself here and there

new parents go way overboard on what they think their new arrival will need or may need. lots of things are unnecessary...when my nephew came into the world he had all these toys and clothes and didn't wear half the clothes nor did he play with the toys.

let your kids play with a pillow and wrap them up in a sheet





















i'm kidding with the last part of course

 

"Your" life will be over.

It will become your kids life.

Say goodbye to being selfish.

 

with everyone... you are never ready... it just happens... you are just adding another couple life time goal to your family...

Right now you have...

Pay your bills
Customize your ride (buy another to customize)
etc...

With the baby you are adding...

Overall Raise him/her right...
Get them cloths/diapers
Go to school, etc...

 

It's practically there now. Work. Sleep. Work. Play. Work. Repeat.

I don't party anymore. Pretty much a homebody during the week and I might catch a movie, go tubing, amusement park, or just stay home on the weekends. I'm not selfish, I just love me more. lol.

 

You can count out the tubing, & movies.

You will become owned by the amusement parks when the kid gets older.

You can count on staying home on the weekends.

You will still have plenty of work.

You will NOT have anymore sleep.

 

Haha. I get about 4 hours of sleep a night. I hear ya. I don't mind not doing those things. Maybe I'm afraid that me and my wife have different disciplinary ideals and that the kid will be a screw up because of it. She doesn't believe in corporal punishment, whereas I grew up with that. It's readily apparent with our dogs. When they are home with me, they are well behaved. But when my wife or my mother-in-law is around, they act the fool and don't listen very well.

 

they've got one shot to react to what i say

 

wtf. why would you do that bro?

 

totally agree, you may think you can be "ready" but there is no such thing. It is all uncharted unique territory and just take it as it comes. Its a blast, and even when its hard, its more then worth it. ( I have 3 myself, love every minute )

 

Just stop trying "not" to have kids and let what happens happen. Don't worry about all those things you won't be able to do anymore. Once you have a son or daughter, you won't give a shit about it anyway. Your priorities, and the changes you'll experience will be incredible. The things that you will want to do will have little to do with what you want to do now.

I don't think too much about what my life was like before my kids or what I use to fill my days with. It doesn't matter anymore anyway.

 

I totally agree with that. I have a newborn well not so new now, she's 11 months old in counting.

Wife and I are making a trip back to Asia in the Fall so her great grand parents can meet her in person.

It is tough, I'm still trying to figure out what I need to bring, car seat, stroller, and ton of other items.

If you and your wife want to travel and do 'adult' things, do it now lol..... just don't do that 1 'adult' thing that leads to babies until you've taken your trip. I suppose you could pro-create on that last day of the trip

 

Trust me, it doesn't matter what other people think. Your baby will be the cutest baby in your eyes.

I'm thankful my daughter was born without complications and is healthy so far *knock on wood*. Of course to us she is the cutest. Just this morning she woke up before us and she was walking around in her crib. Apparently she got tired and she fell asleep sitting but with her face by her feet. Sometime she is hilarious w/o trying to be.

 

You do it now because they will be changing your diapers when you're 85 yrs old and have lost control of your bodily functions.

 

Tell the wife that you are not ready yet but will have plenty of time to practice though.

 

anywho..im young and was once ready to be a parent, i dont think anyone is ready, just go with the flow and if it happens it happens, unless you KNOW you are in no way, shape, or form ready or just dont want kids in this point and time in ur life.

i know i wasnt ready, and it stressed me to death, at work, school, everywhere, so i sold some stuff and got a bit more prepared..and thought about my other bank account that i have for a rainy day..and saw it goin down..but things happened..she had a miscarriage, and we broke up. all for the better..drammaaaaa.

anywho..ultimately..its up to u

1. do you want kids?
2. can u really be ready for one?
3. how much of a financial hit will u take?

things to think about....kidz r expsnvie..trust me..i took care of my friends kid for over a month...(friend had issues) and wow...my wallet hurt..lol

 

Am I the only one that sees a silver lining in the OP's wife having baby fever?

If i was in the OP's position, i would slip on the protection, and wreck the wife like never before with no worries.....repeat as necessary until protection can last no more?

If youre gonna end your life, might as well go out with one helluva bang, right?

 

I had the same mindframe man. I thought I was never going to be ready. I also wanted to have my career first.

That was until my wife left for Guantanamo Bay, Cuba for a deployment.

She came home from training in Washington State (I'm in Jacksonville) for one night, and she got pregnant.

She came home from Cuba four months early out of a six month deployment.

We managed it just fine. Sure, we did not have to pay for her healthcare or the baby's prenatal visits, but that changed now that she got out of the Navy, and we're paying for it now. $91.66 every two weeks is not bad.

I would advise you to have fun. Travel, invest, get a hobby, whatever. When you've got that out of your system, have fun trying to get pregnant. It's fun!

I just wish my wife didn't get pregnant on the very first try!

 

You kids plan way too much these days.

OP....do you eventually want kids? Be honest.