to not talk to your spouse everyday? maybe a couple days or couple weeks? I think that's ridiculous but others think that there's no problem with it. opinions please.....

 

In my opinion.....If you live in the same household and you love your wife, it would be abnormal not to talk to her everyday.

 

Sorry, what I meant was, when you are away from home. is it normal to not talk to your wife everyday or not want to talk to your wife everyday? do you think a couple could go 3 weeks without talking and be okay from that point on?

 

If a man loves his wife as he should, why would he WANT to go three weeks without talking to her ?...Yes, you could go that long and be ok, but WHY is the question.....

 

Not talking to a spouse for a couple of days if one is out of town doesn't seem too odd (depending on the job and project), but more than three days is odd unless one is in the military or on a covert diplomatic/intelligence mission, or the marriage is one of convenience or a cover.

My wife and I talk every night if one of us is out of town (OK, maybe she talks and I pretend to listen... ).
I suspect one of us would call the cops to report a missing person if the other didn't respond to a phone call after about 36 hours have passed...

 

Depends on the situation...

 

3 weeks??

 

It is very weird to not talk to your spouse. I went back home to Trinidad for my mom's birthday when my wife was pregnant. I was gone for 3 days and I only got to talk to her once in that time. And it was strange.

3 weeks is nuts. I guess if you are in the army or something, it is more common, but the avarage guy being married and not talking to their wife once in 3 weeks is crazy.

CorvettePoor - What's with all the bold text?

 

i'm not married, but i would think it'd be very weird if i didn't talk to my wife for 3 weeks.

 

if you didn't talk to your spouse/wife/gf while being gone for 3 weeks (assuming your not on some mission/military and even then.. ) it'd be VERY strange......i'd assume either something happened, or i got dumped.

 

My parents have been married 20 something years and have a good marriage. When my father does go away on business they usually talk 10-30 minutes at least at some point each day.

I think anything less than a couple minutes to catch up would be awkward.

Mike

 

In the circumstances that can come to mind for me right now, anything more than 1 day would be pretty abnormal.

 

I echo what others have stated...that it would certainly be odd to not talk frequently when away from home....especially if the couple has kids.

While I would say that most every couple talks daily if possible, I wouldn't think it was out of the norm to occasionally go 1-3 days without contact. Obviously not including something like a backcountry hiking/hunting trip, military service, etc.


That said...i wouldn't automatically assume that even not communicating for 3 weeks is a "bad" thing for every couple. You don't have to do things the way everyone else does in order to be "normal"...I'm sure that some couples out there are fine with this paradigm and have happy and healthy marriages. In the buffet of life, everyone puts different toppings on their baked potato...

 

I go crazy if I dont talk to my girlfriend for more than a day. I'm not the one that goes and calls their girlfriend 24/7 either... I hate talking on the phone. I rather talk to her in person and stuff, but after a day of not seeing eachother I have to call her and check whats new, etc.

SPOUSE! totally different! I'd be calling her everyday and checking in dude. You guys made a commitment and you should try to stay as close to her as possible, whether it be via phone or email or anything.

 

It's funny, cause it's true. /homer

I pretty much echo everything said here.

 

I am surprised she hasn't tried to talk to you during the three weeks. I mean if you and your wife mutually agree not to talk to each other.. i would understand but it seems like it just happen that way. I just hope nothing fishy is happening.

Honestly,
did you even feel the need to talk to her during that time period.. I mean if i was married i would call my significant other whenever i had the time .. of course respecting their own alone time..

 

I hear a couple of you saying if they were military then that would be a possibility. Not unless they were in school and had access to every form of communication but chose not to. I think its very important to make some kind of contact at least once a day. My parents have been married nearly 30 years and till this day, my mom hangs up the phone with me because my dad is on the other line. I just wanted to see if that was the norm now a days. I didn't think so.

 

I don't think there is a hard-and-fast rule, like X days is unacceptable. Couples are all different. I would say, as a general rule, that couples who don't communicate often (if they can) don't remain couples very long. If you're a couple, and you don't want to communicate every day, I'd think that is more of a warning sign than an acceptable alternative.

 

wow..what a thread...
i was just thinking about this...i've been dating a guy for about 5 months...he lives 5 hours from me, but until 2 weeks ago, we saw each other every other weekend..
(backstory: known this guy since I was 14, one of my best friends in high school, after high school, didn't talk a whole lot, few emails every once in awhile "hey how's it going, what's new?" generic convo like that...then I was going to his city 5 months ago and bam! it just happened...)
we've said the l-word to each other and things have been great...but...the last time i talked to him was tuesday, i called him wednesday, he wasn't home....today is saturday, i talked to him this morning (i called him), but got a weird vibe...he asked me to call him tonight...
ordinarily, that wouldn't bother me...i don't consider myself clingy/needy, if i feel like talking to him, i call him, simple as that, and if he's not around, whatver, it really doesn't bother me...but it's kind of strange for us to go tuesday -saturday without talking at all....he works very hard and i know he's tired lots...but like i said, i got a weird vibe this morning....

so what does a-zine think?

am i getting dumped or am i being neurotic?

 

^^ My 2-cents: I would not read a whole lot into a one-time thing. Stuff happens, we have bad weeks at work, bad weeks for other reasons, etc. Everyone has ups and downs and maybe he's had a down week. If it becomes a trend, then I'd make an effort to talk about it.

 

Funny you should bring this up I'm in a similar situation, except we've been long distance for only the last two months 5 hrs distance as well, and no l-word yet... we've only been dating for 5 months... we've only been able to see each other once over the past two months, but we've talked pretty much everyday in one way shape or form, and over the last week I've gotten a weird vibe to.

But I've just chalked it up to a one time thing - something that if you were in close proximity to the person wouldn't be so weird so I think it's just one of those things that you're getting 'comfortable' with someone and the distance distorts it and makes it seem a bit weirder.

I could be wrong, but I always figure why worry about things you can't control? For example you can't control if the person is gonna cheat on you or not, so why bother wasting your energy and possibly screwing the situation up yourself by being paranoid about something that's out of your control.

Just make sure you're doing your part in the relationship and if it goes on for a while and after talking about it you still feel the same way then perhaps it's just not the right relationship for you.

Communication is even more important in distance relationships

 

I'm going to take the other side of this and say, "where there's smoke, there's fire."

 

Hell I'd be happy if I didn't have to talk to anyone for a couple days.