When you click on links to various merchants on this site and make a purchase, this can result in this site earning a commission. Affiliate programs and affiliations include, but are not limited to, the eBay Partner Network.
I'm in 100% support of getting cut. My wife and I have no children and we don't want any either. Ever. It's been discussed in full detail, many, many times. The doctors here, however, won't allow me to go through with it, stating I'm too young and many males end up getting it reversed. No idea why a doctor decides what I want. I can go and get plastic surgery on any part of my body, but getting snipped is a no no. Bullshit.
The thought of children bothers me. I know, I'm a terrible person, and I know, there are many people out there who love their children dearly and I respect that. I however, love my abundance of money, freedom, cars and travel more. Thankfully, my wife is on the same page.
^ I agree - in fact, I wish more people would have the strength to make the "we're not going to have kids" decision. I think a lot of people do because that's what society expects as the "next thing" after you get married. But it's not for everyone, and if you can recognize that all the better. Far better to not have kids than to have them and not want them. Kids are hard enough when you DO want them.
TacoBello - is that something you can get done in the States? I know a lot of people who go to Canada for different medical procedures because of cost or availability. Wonder if the reverse is true?
I have nothing against people who don't want kids. The world is overpopulated, too many kids go unloved (read: socially fucked up), and the adoption system is a mess. My mom has 4 siblings and only one has kids of his own. Two of them want nothing to do with kids, period. To each their own.
On the topic of doctors making decisions for you, keep asking and you will find one who will do it. My wife's OB-GYN was adamantly against it, but it wasn't her call to make. In the USA with private insurance, they would MUCH rather pay for a $400 procedure than a child. My daughter has cost our insurance $50,000 (billed $98,000) in her first year not including the birth. I don't know enough about Canada's healthcare to comment, but could it be that the gov would end up paying for the reversal if one is sought out? I could possibly see them being wary under that premise, but a reversal is still much cheaper than an unplanned child.
I've always felt like if someone wants to sleep around early and often well fine, go do that. If someone wants to find the the right girl and get married then fine, go do that. But clinging to the idea you can do both is a bit of a fools errand IMO, because investing in one strategy is at odds with achieving the other.
I just don't see, "yeah, I'm going to sleep with 100 women now and then meet my dream girl who won't mind one bit that's what I did". Unless the "dream girl" is someone who did the exact same thing.....
This thread has me hyped up to get one now, but I'm gonna wait 3-4 more years to see if the timing works out to have another kid first, if not I'm ready to go. I just don't wanna be an old dude dealing with teenagers, started my family early.
I've always felt like if someone wants to sleep around early and often well fine, go do that. If someone wants to find the the right girl and get married then fine, go do that. But clinging to the idea you can do both is a bit of a fools errand IMO, because investing in one strategy is at odds with achieving the other.
No it's not. It's not in the least bit. What you do from 15-25 with women doesn't mean it has to be the same when you're 25-XX. I must have been on a fools errand for being promiscuous when I was younger, learning what I like and what I want by trying different flavours and then finally ending up with the love of my life and staying true to her. Yup, totally a fools errand. You're a bible lover, aren't you? Jesus all the way?
Originally Posted by 1Louder
I just don't see, "yeah, I'm going to sleep with 100 women now and then meet my dream girl who won't mind one bit that's what I did". Unless the "dream girl" is someone who did the exact same thing.....
My wife knows my full history and she doesn't give two shits what I did in the past, as long as I'm not doing it now. And her count can easily be summed up on one hand. Mine- well, let's just say I don't have enough fingers and toes. And neither do you.
Along with that, please, tell me, what's the difference with a gal being with 100 different guys, once each, and a gal that was with 1 guy, 100 times? As long as she's smart, playing safe and hasn't picked anything up along the way, I fail to see what the difference is, beyond your mental stigma regarding it all. "Oh, she so dirty!" Please.
Would you divorce your wife if after 5 years she said "hey, I had 99 partners before you"?
There will always be exceptions to the rule. I believe Louder's thought process is consistent with the majority of women. It would be foolish to think that all women think the same.
To be honest, I would be surprised if your wife wasn't the least bit insecure about the true number of partners you have had if it is over 20. I know it is possible that she isn't. However, the odds are with me that she is. That's all he is saying. You have potentially made it more difficult for yourself to find "the one" if you have been with them all.
No it's not. It's not in the least bit. What you do from 15-25 with women doesn't mean it has to be the same when you're 25-XX. I must have been on a fools errand for being promiscuous when I was younger, learning what I like and what I want by trying different flavours and then finally ending up with the love of my life and staying true to her. Yup, totally a fools errand. You're a bible lover, aren't you? Jesus all the way?
I've no idea why you're getting so butthurt at me. Don't believe I directed any of that at you personally...maybe I struck a nerve? And if you're going to attack me personally, at least do me the courtesy of understanding what I'm trying to say first.
My comment was aimed at those that try to do both of those things at the same time. Going out and trying to just get laid with random people is a different process than actually trying to find a relationship. And yes, someone is an idiot if they think that treating women that way is a good way to find a life partner. Sure, some people do that and marry former one-night-stands. If they do that and they're not divorced in 5 years then they just got lucky. But you said it yourself - what you do at 15-25 is different from 25+. That's not what I'm talking about.
Originally Posted by TacoBello
My wife knows my full history and she doesn't give two shits what I did in the past, as long as I'm not doing it now. And her count can easily be summed up on one hand. Mine- well, let's just say I don't have enough fingers and toes. And neither do you.
Glad that worked out for you.
Originally Posted by TacoBello
Along with that, please, tell me, what's the difference with a gal being with 100 different guys, once each, and a gal that was with 1 guy, 100 times?
Was that a real question?
Originally Posted by TacoBello
As long as she's smart, playing safe and hasn't picked anything up along the way, I fail to see what the difference is, beyond your mental stigma regarding it all. "Oh, she so dirty!" Please.
That's your standard. Some people have different ones.
Originally Posted by TacoBello
Would you divorce your wife if after 5 years she said "hey, I had 99 partners before you"?
I'd have actually known my wife well enough before being married to rule that out as a possible scenario. Seriously if you just learning a fact like that 5 years into a marriage you have much bigger problems than those 99 guys.
I'm in 100% support of getting cut. My wife and I have no children and we don't want any either. Ever. It's been discussed in full detail, many, many times. The doctors here, however, won't allow me to go through with it, stating I'm too young and many males end up getting it reversed. No idea why a doctor decides what I want. I can go and get plastic surgery on any part of my body, but getting snipped is a no no. Bullshit.
The thought of children bothers me. I know, I'm a terrible person, and I know, there are many people out there who love their children dearly and I respect that. I however, love my abundance of money, freedom, cars and travel more. Thankfully, my wife is on the same page.
You just have to shop around. As well as you HAVE to make it OVERLY clear you are 110% against EVER having children. You coukd also make up a drastic reason - like birth defects run in your family, etc. know a few buddies that got it done at 25-ish. But normally, its true, a lot of docs won't do it under 30.
I've always felt like if someone wants to sleep around early and often well fine, go do that. If someone wants to find the the right girl and get married then fine, go do that. But clinging to the idea you can do both is a bit of a fools errand IMO, because investing in one strategy is at odds with achieving the other.
I just don't see, "yeah, I'm going to sleep with 100 women now and then meet my dream girl who won't mind one bit that's what I did". Unless the "dream girl" is someone who did the exact same thing.....
Honestly I would just say something like "I had fun when i was younger, but really I was focused on making my career happen and I didnt want to have an unplanned kid that would derail me from that. Now I'd like to start a family with you."
If she doesn't understand, she's not the girl for me. I've legit asked girls what they would think if a guy said/did that - they actually mostly said that makes sense, not to big of a deal at all.
I agree with you that the strategy to get laid is not the same as to get married. But I personally don't care if I ever get married. If I choose to, ill change up my game plan at that time. I DO care a lot about having an unplanned kid tho. Its not necessarily just about hitting everything that moves to me. Some girls might not like it, some wont care. Is what it is. Deal with it when it comes up.
But Im actually leaning more towards VASALGEL now. And the legit thing about that is I would never say anything about it to any girl. I would still use condoms, not trying to catch stuff. And If I wanted to get married and have kids i'd just flush it out.
Last edited by aomechmarine; 01-11-2015 at 11:31 PM.
Honestly I would just say something like "I had fun when i was younger, but really I was focused on making my career happen and I didnt want to have an unplanned kid that would derail me from that. Now I'd like to start a family with you."
If you mean that im being dishonest - not at all. I'm being serious . Thats the real reason. And if a girl can't handle that i fucked around in the past, then thats fine, we're not a match. I dont see an issue at all.
I think it would be harder to find a woman if I already have kids, especially if they were unplanned/unwanted. Most people don't want ready made families or "baby mama drama". Every situation is going to have its own issues.
First, your statement was in response to a guy who said his reason to consider getting snipped was to be promiscuous without consequences. Your hypothetical response to someone questioning such behavior was, "...really I was focused on making my career happen and I didnt want to have an unplanned kid that would derail me from that."
I don't know how that could be any more dishonest.
To each their own, but if you can't straight up tell your fiancee, "I had a vasectomy so that I could party as much as I wanted" without her getting upset, then she shouldn't be your fiancee.
My wife hears stories of kids after vasectomies all the time on the mothering boards she visits. My Dr. said the overall failure rate of a successful vasectomy is 1/600, but he feels his numbers are less than 1/1000 due to his method. The key word there is "successful" though. The majority of times a "failure" happens, the patient did not follow up on the sperm tests, and the procedure wasn't a true success.
The worst part is that while it does indeed happen, someone needs to get a test. The least confrontational route is to have another sperm count done, but if that comes back negative, a paternity test is in order.
Good luck! And go easy after. Guys I know that ran into problems tried to do too much too soon. I used it as an excuse to take a good 2 days off and rest and it went very smooth.
Good luck! And go easy after. Guys I know that ran into problems tried to do too much too soon. I used it as an excuse to take a good 2 days off and rest and it went very smooth.
I'm getting it done on a Thursday morning, and I will have off on the next day, and the weekend is after that. No running or exercising for me.
You guys are doing it all wrong. Temporarily lower your microwave and stand in front of it, while it's running. Do it once a day, for 10 minutes a day. By the end of the week, you'll be thanking me.
The only pain for me was at the incision points - expected and manageable. I guess that may depend on how the doctor does things. But I did the same thing you did - go a Thursday, take Friday off and use the weekend to rest. By Monday I was able to work and do a lot of normal things, but I did take it VERY easy that Friday - Sunday, and just eased my way back into work after that.
The only pain for me was at the incision points - expected and manageable. I guess that may depend on how the doctor does things. But I did the same thing you did - go a Thursday, take Friday off and use the weekend to rest. By Monday I was able to work and do a lot of normal things, but I did take it VERY easy that Friday - Sunday, and just eased my way back into work after that.
Wait, the doctors have to cut into me?! WHAT THE FUCK!? My wife never told me that shit!
Good luck! And go easy after. Guys I know that ran into problems tried to do too much too soon. I used it as an excuse to take a good 2 days off and rest and it went very smooth.
take advantage of the situation if you can. I was a bad patient, i wouldn't stay put. I did run a week after but that was still iffy.
01-07-2015, 10:12 AM
take advantage of the situation if you can. I was a bad patient, i wouldn't stay put. I did run a week after but that was still iffy.