I'll try not to make this too lengthy.

Dated and lived with my girlfriend for 6 years, broke up for about 6 months and got back together. We plan to move into a new home in July. I was thinking of getting engaged this summer. I haven't told anyone my thoughts about purposing to her. My cousin mentioned to me 2 weeks ago that nobody should get engaged this year cause its his sisters year. (My other cousin has her wedding in a couple of months). Then he goes on to say that he would like to purpose to his girlfriend of one year this summer. Which completely contradicts what he first said. Not only did he say this to me but he's also going around telling my family and other relatives that this is his sisters year and nobody should purpose.


I love my girl, she's been patient and has put up with a lot over the years. we both want this. If I pop the question in July, there will be a lot of tension between his side of the family and mine. I know for a fact my cousin, along with his parents will hold a grudge against me and I don’t want it to come to that.


If I purpose to my girlfriend it will seem as if I’m doing it only cause he said what he did. It will get around that he told me he wanted to purpose to his girlfriend and I'll end up looking like a fool in the eyes of my relatives. If I don’t purpose I'll feel guilty for not doing so.

 

It's very simple. You love her, you want to get married, do it. No one should tell you differently. Your cousin is a dumbass. Tell him the world stopped revolving around his sister a while back.

 

i agree.

your cousin is being selfish and quite the donkey.

and it's "propose"...

 

fuck that shit. propose when you want. i didnt know diamonds came with drama llamas.

 

Your cousin is a jackass for thinking the whole world revolves around his sister.

 

Why should you pay heed to his words when he just contracted himself?

Besides, you should propose when the time is right. So if this summer is what you feel is the right time, just go ahead with your plan... I haven't heard of such thing as a girl "owning" a year of getting engaged in a family. Sorry, but it sounds retarded. The next thing you know, he'll tell everyone not to have a baby until he has one and the kid turns 1 year old.

 

So, if you propose to your girl, your cousin will think you are doing it on purpose, and you are afraid of the wrath of the family?

By all means...do it!

 

Screw your cousin, propose!

 

Yea too much drama for me. The only reason this whole thing bothers me is for the fact that family is quite important to me. But you guys are right...I guess he is being selfish. I'll probably have another post in here come july and keep you guys updated with everyones reaction.

Oh and I forgot to mention, my cousins fiance came out and said exactly this "if you propose this year you'll have a lot of people pissed at you" .... wtf?

btw sorry for the incorrect spelling of "propose"...thanks JediMindTricks

 

What is this? I have never heard of people not proposing the same year. Are you some kind of foreign culture that hold llamas in high regard?

 

If it's an issue as big as proposal... Your asking a chick to spend the rest of her life with you, why in gods name would your cousin wanting to propose mean shit? It wouldn't. Fuck him hes a cock-bag. Your girlfriend, your proposal.

Mike

 

that is stupid. who cares if you propose the same year, its not like you're gonna propose on the same day... or maybe you should

 

as long as the wedding are on different dates i dont see why it would be an issue. just make sure you arent proposing to your girl to keep her from leaving again.. why was that break up?

 

Too easy to solve. Propose to your cousin's sister. It's a win-win.

 

I say to tell you cousin to shut the hell up, what you proposing to your girlfriend have to do with his sister. I say that if you are ready to make that next step asking her to be your wife then do it. Bump what others say, why are you relying so heavily on what others are saying or thinking anyway? I say do your thing, do you and bump what others say.

 

What's your ethnic background? I'm going to guess Indian. Some of my family will probably pull the same crap.

IMO, your family being important to you is great. However if they feel the same then it should not matter. In fact they should be very happy for you and your fiance.

What are they going to do next? If your cousin gets pregnant, then you can't have a family for a year.

 

24 is young for a guy to get married.

 

While I agree getting married around the same time as another close family member is rude, getting engaged certainly isnt.

Go for it. Hes being unreasonable. Youre not trying to one up them - its just how you feel.

 

+2 on probably being Indian... For all those non-indian, engagements are very formal as well (Yeah he will propose, but then it will follow with a formal ceremony too).

That being said, I agree with everyone else, if you feel it is the right time to propose then do it. You can plan your traditional engagement later if you feel so inclined as to avoid family issues.

 

I avoided all that. Thank God. I couldn't deal with all the drama. It helps that my wife is not Indian.

 

Yeah, my cousin thought he was in the clear with his wife not being Indian too... He had the engagement and two weddings

 

Not me. I proposed. She said yes. We told parents. Got married a couple months later. About 35 people at the wedding. DONE.

My sister had the 2 wedding thing. A huge ordeal. And a lot of money.

I guess in order for me to do my part in my sister's wedding, I had to be "formally" married as an Indian. But that took about 15 minutes. I'm really not into large drawn out weddings.

 

To answer some questions..

We broke up in the first place because I chose to. Soon realizing that it wasn't what I really wanted.

I am Greek Orthodox.

I've known her for 8 years and and dated for over 6 years now. I honestly dont beleive 24 is too young to get married, I'll be 25 when I propose to her and probably 26 when we get married.

With everyones comments so far, I've made my decision. I wont let him stop me from proposing and wont let it bother me. I'll do what makes me happy. I feel the time is right and I'm going for it.

So july it is...I cant wait!! I really do appreciate everyones feedback.

 

Yup, didn't see that one coming... And good for you, hope it all works out.

 

I agree with the others on doing it when YOU want to. Is there some kind of rule that says only one person per family can get engaged/married per year? No. So do it when you feel the time is right. Any family member who gets pissed off at something like this is screwed up and just a bit self-centered, IMO.

Good luck to you and your soon to be fiancee.

 

You're 24 dating the same girl for 6 years...
...
...
...
...
...
...

Don't do it.

 

You need to experience the world while you are still young.

 

They broke up for 6 months.

Sounds like amble time to try out available poon.

 

No that isn't, and damn, I can't believe I missed that! Good work Amis! Don't do it man, same girl since 18...you have to know what's out there before you can make a "decision". I know, people are going to say how can I tell him he doesn't love her...and I can't...but...does he love her enough to withstand the "unknown", as in when he comes face to face with what he didn't know existed before he bought into her hook, line, and sinker??...I believe in giving yourself a chance to explore, so that you pick what you want from amongst the masses. That way, you have a better idea of what is right for you. Never good to settle on the first thing smoking!

Amis, again, good work good sir!

 

Thank you

Not only the lack of exploration/experiences, but he doesn't even have the intestinal fortitude to stand up to his cousin over some bullshit about a wedding and other people being selfish. Just doesn't sound like someone ready to head a household.

 

at needing to check the calendar and gain permission before proposing.

At the cousin's (female) wedding, make sure a couple of plates go astray and take out the bride and her idiot brother.

 

That would be some fucked up shit if he was to tell his lady: "Sorry baby, but what can I do? You gotta wait til next year, my cousin has this whole year on lockdown"!!!!

 

Exactly.

 

well put!!!

I guess its time to grow some balls. Thanks for the smack upside the head

Regarding the "lack of exploration/experiences" ...Sorry man but I cant agree with you on this one. I'm not looking to get more poon, or go in search of someone I think might be better for me. Why let go of something I'm happy with. I let go of her once and wasnt happy with my decision. 6 months is more then enough time to get my head on straight and realize what I had and what I want. I went out, had fun and did my own thing.

 

Ultimately that's your call. I hope, at least, that you mean what you say. There's no need to pump yourself up to us, we don't care. Just don't kid yourself.

 

Ya I know

Thanks dude

 

What was the reason why you split, if you don't mind?

 

No offense to the OP, but with the above "facts" the odds of good marriage are stacked against you.

best o luck in whatever you decide.

 

I think this is pure BS - there's no way we know enough about the OP's relationship to make this assessment. I'd say that being together for 6 years and still wanting and being willing to get married is a good sign.

Now, the OP's cousin's sister's future husband appears to be in for a rough ride with a controlling, manipulative, self-centered, spoiled wife.

 

Why? I guess the odds are stacked against ANYONE getting married. But we do anyways. If we start thinking ODDS, then no one here will get hitched. I think if you find someone you are compatable with, it doesn't matter if they are the 1st or the 100th.