I've been dating my GF for a bit over 2 years. We met in HS, i was a senior, she a freshman, and sorta had some up's and downs, but then got steady. Im going to be 21 soon, and shes 18, her last year in HS.

I've been expressing interest in studying abroad this summer in Florence. However, a sudden change occurred, and the dates changed (now instead of 3 sessions available for the summer, there is only 1), and now i can only go the first month of the summer.

The problem is, this is when her prom is, and her graduation, and i know it would mean alot to her if i was there.

I'm really torn about what to do....If i don't go abroad, i cant go away for another year, and it's really important for me to go away for this month, as i think it's something i need to do.

What would you guys do?

 

Well, can you defer for next year? How important is it for you to study abroad this summer (and not next summer)?

 

I'd say it's rather important that I've been planning it for a while. I sort of feel "stuck" at home, and really want to get away. I don't live on my own yet, and prob wont for another year or two, and I really just want to get out of my town.

It's really starting to become depressing at this point, on account that I feel like i'm missing out on alot of things, maybe because my friends are all out doing things like this ? I'm not sure, but i think especially since i don't dorm, it's a priority.

 

do the James Bond/ Bruce Wayne thing and go abroad, but also come back for the two events. If doing something like that is a possibility, go for it!

In all actuality that situation is pretty trying. You would like to get away, and have planned to for a while, but you don't want to seem selfish to your girl. Honestly, I would probably go to Florence, but I'd think that I would have some regrets in doing so. GL in your decision man.

 

Go study abroad, opportunities like that don't always exist. After the girl is long gone, will you regret it if you didn't go?

 

Ya, i will most certainly have regrets, and i was thinking of coming home for the events, problem is, flights to Italy and back are not cheap.

But at the same time I feel like my GF knows I've been planning to get away, and knows how I feel. Assuming I don't go, i feel like if she really cared about me she would feel worse about making me stay home, opposed to me going away.

bah!

 

ya, thats another mindset. Why should i put a hamper on what i want to do for a prom? And assuming we did break up, yes, i most certainly would regret it. I think i know what i have to do, i just feel really bad about it.

thanks for the posts.

 

i would go. put yourself first in this situation.

 

prom is overrated, go to florence for yourself. you could always take her along for a bit as a consolation prize?

 

Her senior prom and all the other high school stuff won't mean shit once she does the whole college thing.

Go to Italy...it's your life, dude. And however she acts when you tell her that you're going will tell you a lot about her maturity level.

 

I say sit with her and discuss it. How are you going to know how she feels without asking?
In all honesty though, I say go to Italy. It's for what, 1 semester? That's not a whole lotta time in the long haul. And sure, you'll feel guilty for missing graduation, but like Scottman said, that won't mean much in college. Send her a card, some pics, a gift, and I'm sure she'll be happy that you remembered her graduation.

BTW, prom=crap, so who cares

 

It's not even a semester, it's only one summer. She acknowledges the fact that i want to go, and I had even decided to postpone my trip untill mid-summer, up untill they changed the dates.

I have discussed it with her, briefly, and she tells me to go...but it sounds very insincere (I'm sure it was her point to make it seem that way, plus she is still young).

Either way, I guess she will have to understand. She will get over it eventually....i don't see the big fuss...i didn't even want to go to my own senior prom

Thanks for the responses.

 

good man. Either she'll deal with it, or you'll be in Italy a single man.

 

I'd go aboard, opportunity like this is very rare......... women... they come and go....... you're young and you'll meet other women.

 

Good choice RMATIC.

Like I said, watch carefully how she reacts to things during this whole process and you'll learn a lot about her, which will do nothing but help you in the future...

Enjoy Italy

 

geez, at 20??? Go abroad and broaden your horizons. If she is mature, she will understand that this is important to you.

 

listen to gramps over here, he's been there done that decades ago...... '



J/k Eggplant

 

I would be on that plane to Italy. I say talk to her. Tell her this is something you had planned on and is a great opertunity for you. If she is mature, she will see that. If she gets all pissy, then maybe you can use the time in Italy to also decide if you need that drama in your life.

 

We talked, and she does understand, although upset. If i come by any extra cash perhaps i can make the trip back (unlikely though).

I told her that i really would want to be there for her (even though I didn't want to go to prom, I really did want to do it for her, just because i really do love her alot.)

I did ask her however, "assuming i did stay , wouldn't you feel bad that I passed this trip up for a day?"

Plus i hope she finds a nice boy to take pictures with, heh, wont be as good looking as me though


P.s. thanks for the mature responses, much appreciated.

P.s.s. i just noticed i spelled problem wrong (title)

p.s.s.s. , wait, it was changed, now i see the joke!!!!

 

don't think about it too much, if you really want to go then you should

 

Graduation present for her = round trip flight to Rome, take her down to positano for the weekend and all will be forgiven.

By this i mean: GO!!!!, it'll change your life. Florence is a great city.

 

That's even more James Bondish...

 

If you stay home b/c of her, you could end up resenting her over time for letting the opportunity pass, and then you'll end up missing out on the trip to Italy and losing the girl. Not to mention, you don't know if her folks or someone is going to give her a trip for an extended period of time as a graduation present; what if you stayed home and she left you behind?

I would explain that the dates/situation changed beyond your control, this is a very good opportunity for you, etc. Good luck with the decision.

 

Yeah I say go for it. If anything maybe she can go to Italy and visit you after graduation. That would be more fun than staying for prom and graduation..

Prom was boring and HS graduation isn't going to be fun compared to being overseas.

 

Do it man. I gave up a lot for my GF in HS and college, and still regret it to this day.

 

Study abroad...you'll regret it in later on like if you passed up a chance like I did...I just recently visited my gf while she was abroad and I had the best time and so did she...chances like these are gone once you graduate, good luck

 

I was in the same situation when I was in college. I could have studied in Rome, I could have studied in Japan, I could have studied in Chile but I decided to be with my then boyfriend... We separated my senior year in college for other reasons...

Prom is overrated. I don't even remember mine. Go to Italy and if she cares, she'll understand. Let it be your "test". Imagine all the things you could see abroad, people you could meet. You're young, take advantage of it.

Good luck!

 

Exactly.... GO. Dont look back... You are playing with the rest of your life over some girls prom/graduation?

When she says "But this is important to me that you are there" Your response should be "Well, the rest of my life is also important to me"

 

Yea, i am going to go. (unless of course they don't accept my application, which i highly doubt)

It's just a bummer that they switched the dates, especially since the head of program told me it would be the same as 06, but shit happens.

If it were the other way around, i would not expect her to stay, b/c i do think it's selfish.

She is being understanding, just upset, as i had expected, cant blame her though.

 

Go. Here's whats going to happen - you are not going to marry this girl. You guys, especially her, are too young for it to last -- SO, what is going to happen one day is that you will walk in on her with a cawk in her mouth and say "What the fuck! I missed Florence for your whore ass!?" Trust me, I know from the experience of my life and others that you should NEVER EVER EVER miss an opportunity in YOUR life because of a girl you are with ATH THE MOMENT. I know you love this chick bro, but look at the long-run big picture. This is the #1 mistake guys our age make and I'm trying to save you from doing it: DON'T PASS THIS UP FOR A CHICK. They come and go. Your experiences, your life, it will always be YOURS.

 

Well, they put back the original dates...so everything is gonna work out anyways.... So..anyone have any places to recommend for partying/visiting close to Florence?