I am having dire problems with the girl of my dreams. I have been with her for about 4 years. We are pretty much perfect for each other. We have many things in common, but not so much to where we always want the same things.

This all started because of a silly comment I made concerning a dress she was asking me about. She asked if she looked "thick" in a certain red dress. I responded by saying "does it really matter what I say", and she took great offense to that. I said that because every time I told the truth about stuff like that she would just go the other way (ie choosing dress A if i said she looked good in dress B). Now, she wants me to say sorry even if i don't mean it, but I just can't do that eventhough it's causing numerous problems for us.

Do you think I should apologize to her even if i don't mean it?

 

Yes, because it will shut her up. Don't ever even hint to a girl that she looks fat! Act like you care, and tell her she looks gorgeous.

 

Try to work it out a little while longer, if she still isn't budging than apologize. While it in effect doesn't matter what you think, she likes to think you think it matters what you think because you are in a relationship...

Mike

 

OK, something weird is going on, her friend had dinner with us at my apartment. I'm pretty sure that her friend is flirting with me. My gf is still giving me the silent treatment and it sure is pissing me off. Not sure waht to do. Maybe I should go for it with her friend.

 

Apologize to her so you can get laid again.

 

Everyone is right, I'm just going to go apologize right now.

 

She's just looking for a positive feedback from you. She wants you to say 'no you look good'. Whether she chooses option B in the end doesn't matter. When you give her the notion that she "looks thick", it turns into her becoming more self-conscious. And a self-conscious girl who thinks that you feel she is "thick" will hurt your relationship. Don't hint at a girls weight, ever. It's such a sensitive subject and it only brings bad things.

You might wanna think about telling her how good she looks, maybe when shes not dressed up and not expecting it. It'll be a boost for her.

 

Yes, that will make everything better....

 

Go for it.

 

I think girls ask that question only to start fights....

 

Or apologize and go for the 3some

 

if you weren't such a donkey, you'd be able to actually read this advice, but since you got yourself banned, i guess we can all ignore your thread now.

 

^ ??? What are you talking about Robby..

 

Hi Robby...

 

^That only makes it worse. I hope you are just kidding...

Anyway, just reassure her and explain matter of factly why you said that.

 

WTF................... hahahahaha yeah you apologize to her. My friend, you need some women study 101 or gf-101.

No matter what you really think inside, when a woman asks you "do I look thick/fat/ugly in this dress" the answer is always "NO, you look fabulous hun"

I was going to say "xyz...." but I realized you're only 19. Your mentality is different from a guy in my age. Your last sentence cracks me up! I dunno to either tell you, you're funny or you're hopeless

 

^^^ So have you been perfect when it comes to women your whole life? Help the kid out without being a prick You were his age once too.


But yes, you need to learn to sugarcoat and hide your true feelings sometimes.

 

I notice a few problems

1. She's the girl of your dreams-->I can taste the HCl in the back of my throat

2. You've been with the smae broad for 4 years

3. You're 19.


I think you should try some other hole, knock up her friend.

 

robby?

I say stand your ground. Dont let your girl walk all over you. Or, go for the threesome.

 

:shrugs: just say you're sorry she took it the wrong way... you're not apologizing for what you said, and it should make her feel better...

what's the big deal in saying you're sorry anyways? bruising your ego? think of all the stress you'll avoid...

 

yes I did help the kid out by saying the following
I'm not perfect when it comes to ladies, no one is. But a simple thing such as "hun, how do I look, do I look fat in this dress?"

a guy's response should be
"no hun, you look good."

say you really think that dress looks bad on her or unattractive... then instead of saying "yes, you look fat, I don't like it." you say

"Actually, I like the white dress you wore last month, this one is good but I prefer the other one better."

Saying this A; give you a way to tell her " I don't like it" without hurting her feelings and B; shows her you actually paid attention to what she wore last time.

 

Always tell your woman she looks great. It will extend your life.

 

^amen to that my fellow jersey

 

He didnt say shes fat, he asked if it mattered. She sounds like a nut job.

 

 

Just apologize. Do you really care why you are apologizing. Swallow your pride and make her happy.

 

Rhetorical question, why do women even ask if we are to give the same answer?

 

i think that she' sbeing a little silly, i see nothing wrong with your statement.

but on another note, if i ask my hubby somethin.. want an honest answer, if i dont' look hot in it PLZ TELL ME. i don't get my feeling hurt too easily though

 

She's mad cuz she didn't get the answer she wanted. She wanted you to stroke her ego and tell her she looked good, cuz she looked thick and thought she looked thick, but thought you'd tell her different. Next time just agree and you'll avoid a fight. She's only 19 too probably, you have a lot to learn young jedi.

 

"The dress does not make you look fat, the fat makes you look fat"

Thats just wrong...lol...

Just apologize, it will make your life easier.

 

Apparently this guy's banned...hopefully he mans up and apologizes.

 

Exactly... if you've been honest with eachother, she knows how you feel and doesn't need constant reminders. It also makes it more more meaningful when you do compliment if you go the other way sometimes. For example: a few years ago, I answered honestly that I didn't care that much for how my wife looked in a few of her dresses. Not long after that, she got one for a wedding, and I genuinely said, "wow... that one is great for you!!". To this day she still smiles and talks about how good she felt when she saw my reaction to her in that dress. If I aways said, "sure, you look great", it wouldn't have meant anything.

 

I don't ask if i look fat because I know the answer is always yes, lol. But if it looks BAD (as in, beyond fatness, on to badly-fitting or just plain ugly) I MUST KNOW immediately. I'd rather be a little insulted by my husband, than go out in public looking like a retard.

 

Do you gals honestly tell yourselves you look fat, or do you do it for attention? I don't mean that to be rude, but I have girls in my school who are size zeros(their have been class discussions), I don't mean anarexics, they are stacked, good figure, etc, and still pinch themselves and proclaim how fat they are... Are you really that masochistic?

Mike

 

I would myself if I was 19 and with the same girl for 4 years. That should be illegal

 

What happened to honesty being the best policy???

To bad that policy doesnt really work when it comes to women and their weight.
All in all you should apologize for what you said since it did upset her. Thats probally going to be the easy way out of your diliemma with her. ........Oh, and good luck!

 

been there done that

 

 

 

https://acurazine.com/forums/showpos...6&postcount=38

Anyhoo, any woman who seriously asks "does this make me look fat" or anything to that effect has low self-esteem for one of two reasons:

1) She's screwed up in the head, either through bad parenting or she's just looney.

or

2) You don't tell her that she's beautiful often enough.

If you feel it's because of the first one, she needs counseling, and quickly. If it's because of the second reason, then you've screwed up and haven't communicated to her how beautiful you think she is. It's clear to me that every woman wants to feel beautiful, and one of the surefire ways to try to encourage that is by actually telling her she's beautiful! It's really not that hard, and I guarantee that you'll both feel better in the process.

Now, in the event that she asks "does this make me look fat" in order to trap you, make sure you express your displeasure at her asking you that question. If you do it enough, she'll either get the idea, or get pissed off. And honestly, if it's the second, it's time to hightail it outta there, because trapping is merely a form of emotional manipulation.