Do you or anyone you know have phobia with labels?
My girl does and before it didn't bother me as much but now its getting to me. This girl is a really good friend of mine and we started seeing each other a while back. Everything has been great but she has some phobia with calling me her boyfriend. Now she has no problem telling people her and I are dating and she has even said I love you. So I said to her why can't you call me your boyfriend, and she says there is no logic or explanation, it just scares her. If you can say I love you, how hard is it to call me her boyfriend? wtf?! I know she has had a bad relationship in the past, but this is getting on my nerves, I know its just a word, a label, but when you care so intensely about someone, how hard is it to say a word...

 

I had the same problem. Just try and act like it doesnt bother you that much and she will come around. This is common of girls who have had controling boyfriends. My girl was scared to death of the boyfriend/girlfriend label and I never said anything. the one day she suggested that we take that step. Just go with the flow!

 

I haven't had a gf in 8 or so years, guess I'm not meeting the right girls or something is wrong with me? But I get a little sketched out if a girl reffers to me as "her man" or "boyfriend".... probably the reason I am single and I am not saying its a bad thing

 

her last bf was very controlling

 

well the term 'dating' doesnt really mean you are bf & gf I 'dated' this guy for a bit but we were free to do as we please with whoever we wanted. But thats b/c we chose to have no lables. Not saying this is your case, but is she just seeing you??

 

Let me try her.

 

This is her logic of progression...


Seeing ---> Dating ---> BF/GF


Mind you, she dropped the L bomb already in the Dating stage... heck she has even talked about marriage... We have been exclusive the whole time

 

Indian girls and them talking about marriage?

 

do u say the L back to her??? why not be like well i can only tell my g/f i love her.. not just a friend

 

Her saying the L bomb already is surprising. She doesnt want you as a b/f, but she loves you

sounds like she just doesnt want to fuk up her back-up plan. Id put my foot down if i were you.

 

I thought you were talking about that Seinfeld episode...
Ed

 

wow for somereason this is the same situation i am in. we are seeing each other but no labels yet and we are being exclusive to each other, other then that we do go off and do our own thing. but she already said she would be madd if i went out with another girl ta this time and point.

idk man i'm in the same place sort of, i'm just going to let it go and see what happens. i think she'll come around.

 

Yes, my friend is going through this right now. He has been dating this girl for the past couple months and she even let him take her virginity on NYE. So, after that he thought things had changed so he talked to her about it and she said "we are exclusive" WTF He even told her that "that is exactly the same thing as being bf/gf but with no lable" and she agreed. I think it is just ridiculous!

 

its not that she doesn't want me as a bf, she's scared to call me that, if that makes sense. We have a long history together and she has strong emotional attachment... I was surprised to get the L bomb so soon, we were the best of friends before we started seeing each other, and I know girls usually have reservations going from friends to bf/gf. I think its just fear, but my logic at this point is, how scared can you be at this point, esp if you love the person, the word bf is no biggie IMO

 

My fiancee when we had started dating understandably had the hardest time saying "I love you," but she would always call me her boyfriend.

This is just strange...but like other people have stated, it seems like she has some issues with what the word "boyfriend" implies. Perhaps it implies certain things for her that have been painful in the past, whereas the word "love" wasn't associated with those painful things.

About the only thing I can tell you is to maybe try searching it out with her. And insist to her that it hurts that she won't call you her boyfriend...because honestly, she should be able to acknowledge the relationship that you two are in.

 

Trust me, I've been there. MANY TIMES I've been there. I think it's just an awkwardness with the word. I stutter or get a little red when I say the word in that context. Some people are just afraid to say it.

It sucks, there's not really that much that you can do.

 

I think alot of indian girls in general have a problem with labels.