How many times do you see/talk on the phone to your partner?

 

I see her three times a year . and talk to her almost everyday. It s hard but she is the one

 

I saw my bf twice last year, one was a trip and the other time was a 2 month stay. We usually talk everyday

 

How do deal with trusting the other person? I know it's easier to do when you talk everyday...

 

Seriously I don't know how you people do it. Any distance longer than what I could drive in a day would make me crazy

 

Well we're "only" 300 miles apart so most of the time we see each other once a week.

Reason I wanted to know is because she's "too busy" to talk on the phone more than 2-3 times a week (And by talk on the phone, I don't mean an hour long conversations, but just to see "what's up"). I wanted to know if anyone else had problems like this since most of the time people have 5-10 free minutes in a 24 hour day to talk on the phone, right? I mean you already can't see the other person for 5-6 days a week, might as well say hi every other day. Am I wrong?

 

Dude if she only has 5-10 minutes 2-3 times a week she doesn't have enough time to be your girlfriend

 

I can understand someone is busy, but a relationship takes work. I couldnt go more then a day without at least saying whats up to a person I'm dating. But thats just me

 

this is my second year in school and both years ive been in a long distance relationship with the same girl.

we see eachother over Fall, Winter, Spring breaks and she came to visit me one weekend and i am goin to see her in a few weeks down at her school.

then over the summer we are both back home for the entire 3 months, and thats what makes the long distance thing worth it.

we talk on the phone every day and on weekends a couple times a day

 

I see my girlfriend about one weekend a month and then longer on winter break/spring break, we talk every day but usually for 15 minutes before bed. It wont be long term soon though as she is going to college at UF which is where I go starting June

 

personally, i've never believed the whole "i'm too busy to talk to you for 5 minutes out of the day" line when it comes to relationships, especially long-distance ones. i mean come on, it's 5 minutes! we spend more time than that deciding what to wear in the morning.

i've had 3 long-distance relationships at various times & we always talked at least every other day... usually every day, even if it was just a text message or something to say hi.

 

If she really wanted to talk to you everyday, trust me she would. There are no excuses. I heard that in my last relationship and she lived about 25 mins away. it happened a couple times, but I got opinions from other female friends about why she seemed so busy. Their reason for her saying that was because she obviously didn't care too much about our relationship. If she wanted it to work, she would do what's necessary. Excuses are for losers.

 

I can barely handle 2 miles...

 

Well I believe it all depends on the foundation on which you both have buit together, communication and most of all trust. I met my wife when I was at the wildest point in my life. I'm talkin I had 4 of the same girls a day. One for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and that 2am one when her boyfriend fell asleep, sh would drive 45 minutes just so i could hit for 10. Then it all came to an end when I met the only woman I would ever love. A half Korean/Polish chick. She is in the Navy too. She was a Recruit Division Commander(Drill Sargent). I was drivin on base and I could hear this voice over my thumping system. And there she was. A 5 foot 2 Lil Korean girl yelling at a 6 foot 3 black recruit making him cry. I was in love. I approached her and asked if she was involved, she said kind of, but he's a diver, and I am a SEAL so you can figure that me asking her out is like being asked out by someone famous. One date with her and she called him up and said it was over. I wasn't looking for a wife at the time and I told her so. I told her that my platoon, and being a SEAL was the most important thing to me and I wasn'tt going to let a woman distract me. Oh how wrong was I. She was very understanding when I would leave town and I couldn't tell her where I was going, and when I was coming back, now don't pay attention to the movies, Its not like I have a beeper on me and I could get called away at anytime. I pretty much have a good idea ahead of time when I'm leaving and who I'm shooting the face. Now back to my wife. A year passed and she took care of all of my affairs. we got married and I was off to Iraq. I' just got back a 2 months ago and she is still back east. We are still doing well, and we will soon be together again n Hawaii for three years. I think if we had not been honest and comunicated with eachother, along with having 2 succesful careers to keep us busy, we would not be together today, and I wouldn't have our beautiful daughter. So it can work, but it takes work to make it work. Nothing worth having is easy to get. HooYah!

 

I have been with my gf for two and a half years. A large part of that has been long distance (close to 80% if not more). We talk almost daily and see each other roughly once a month now, though there was a period where we didn't see each other in five months.

As for the trust issue, I guess if you really love someone, you learn to trust their judgement. I know that my gf loves me and that she would never cheat on me and vice versa for me to her. Our relationship has actually grown tremendously because we actually started as a long distance relationship meaning that our relationship grew by leaps and bounds emotionally and intellectually before the physical aspect was added.

In the end, I think that if you truly love someone, it doesn't matter how far apart you are, you always find a way to be "together".

 

I'm not worried about her cheating on me, I know she wouldn't do that.

I just find it weird that she doesn't give a sh** whether we talk or not for days. I mean we don't see each other for a week at a time. If she ever thought of me, even when she's busy, why wouldn't she just pick up the phone before bed and say hi?

 

This is something you are going to have to get used to. Sometimes people get tired and just fall asleep. If you're secure enough in your relationship, you shouldn't need to talk every day.

Plus, why don't you pick up the phone and just call her if you really want to talk?

 

Famous last words.

 

Every day, mostly online, some drunken phone calls at night, lots of text messages too. Don't buy the "too busy" thing. Last summer, my girl told me she didnt wanna see me anymore, but then still talked for an hour each day. Now we're back together, and its mostly on the computer now. Plus she comes up to visit every other weekend.

 

She's feeling smothered by the relationship. Odd, yes, I know. This happened to me in my last relationship. We dated an entire school year, and when summer came, I found myself not wanting to be attached to someone who was 900 miles away for the next 3 months. This followed after already having a few ups and downs just before the semester ended... I felt that he was too needy and always needed to talk to me, so the more he called me, the less I wanted to call him.

And it wasn't a question of cheating either. I would have never done something like that, as you say your gf wouldn't either. It's just a matter of not wanting to be attached and committed.

I'm sorry if this is exactly what you don't want to hear, but it sounds similar to how I felt a while ago, so I'm sharing.

 

^^^While reading your post i was thinking there has to be a reason you became not wanting to be attached, i.e. it didnt happen out of the blue. Then i saw it: he was becoming needy and i know thats a major turn off for girls.

So FastAcura, make sure you're not being needy and keeping yourself busy, and don't call her as much or complain why she doesnt call you, and she might come around.

 

Scottie and I usually talk several times per day; I call him when I wake up, again when I get into the city before work, again when I'm on my way home, and we usually talk at least one more time before bed, usually two. Plus, like right now for instance, we PM each other all day here, or send text messages back and forth.

That said, we both have other lives going on in our opposite sides of the country, and sometimes I have so much going on that I really don't feel like talking at the end of the day. I know that he's going to sleep well and so will I, so I don't always feel the necessity to call, but he likes me to, so I do anyway. But usually that phone call is about 30 seconds long, because there's really not that much to talk about once you've talked 7 times already.

 

That's tough, I trust my girl 100%, but there are those nights where she's out or i'm out and we don't talk and my mind starts thinking. That's a hard thing to do. I trust her, I don't trust other people. And ultimately, I don't worry, but it's when it's like 2 a.m. and I still haven't talked to her my mind starts to wonder.

 

It's tough to do, esp. going from living w/ each other for 3 years. Luckily plane flights are pretty cheap $200-250 round trip from So Cal to No Va. Still tough, we aren't even on month 2

 

i live in boston and had a relationship with a girl in winnepeg, canada. we saw each other about 4 times a year (about 500$ each RT out there) and we talked with eachother I would have to say once every day and a half (approx. avg.) but we would call and leave messages everyday though. Very difficult but now I am married to her....tough learning about a person you haven't lived with. I would suggest livig with a person before getting married to them even if it's only for a little while. The trust has to be there or it will never work.

 

I fully agree. Scottie and I lived together for 3 years before I moved back to VA, and I have to say that marriage is going to be a BREEZE after living together. For one thing, we've already gone through that newlywed stage of learning each other's faults (i.e. "Does he REALLY do that in the sink every night?"), and shared bills and responsibilities, etc., and that was all while we didn't have the security of knowing we were married. I think marriage will be easy compared to living together, now that we've done it. And now that we live apart, it's weird, because we're used to waking up together, but I think our distance has actually really opened the gates for communication between us. Whereas before we tended to sit on the couch in silence watching TV all night, now our only interaction is intellectual, and we are forced to actually speak to each other and learn each other's thoughts and feelings. It's hard being so far away, but I honestly think it will be a good thing for us, in the long run.

 

We did long distance for 6 months, and spoke either every day or every other day. Sometimes distance can help you determine whether someone is really "right" for you, which was what happened in my case: the distance made me realize that I just didn't want to be without him.

 

every other day? I fuckin lose it if I don't talk to here every few hours

 

Our schedules didn't match up, since he was still taking classes/studying (3-5 hours at night), but I was doing a clinic and had pretty much a 9-5 schedule. But I had a lot of time to think about what my life would be like if I didn't have him--so I took him--expensive car habit, goofy jokes and all.

edit: this was before cell companies had great rate plans and before IM was common.

 

we run up 5000 minutes a month and i'm in atl every weekend (5hrs one way). but we will be closing on our house next month so all this long distance stuff will finally be over and i can be a normal husband

 

apparently not enough because it fell apart and we broke up. Here's a tip...invest lots of time and love into every conversation and visit and never...I mean never...under any circumstances tell her that you are avoiding her calls!