TLD

I've had some heated debates with my so called "christian" friend about girls who are "old fashioned" and girls who are considered modern and "slutty". My buddy feels that girls who call guys are just sluts with no self respect, while the "old fashioned" girls who let guys do all the calling, are more respectable nice girls. I told him he has it the other way around because if a girl feels that she's too good to call you, she's just plain rude, but if a girl can pick up the phone and call you, she shows confidence. What's your opinion? You already know my stance on this matter. In reality, a girl who never calls guys can be the biggest slut out there or she can be a virgin who's never even kissed a guy, and the girl who calls guys can be the nicest person or the biggest ho. Phone calls don't make the person a slut, but a lack of calls does make the person rude in my opinion, so the girl who calls gets my vote every time.

Minch00

Well, it seems like I'm an old fashoned guy, which really blows in a college setting, I mean I'd love to meet a nice slut to hang out with ( ), but it seems like that isn't going to happen any time soon.


That being said, I like a girl to call. I get tired of calling every single time.

TLD

I look at it this way, if a girl is gonna be old fashioned and shy, she should be OFAS all the time. These fake "old fashioned" girls have enough balls to ask you to call, even begging at times, yet they don't have the courage to pick up the phone and call guys? We've all heard the expression, if you can dish it out, you should be able to take it. Well if a girl can ask me for a phone call, she can do the calling as well.

dallison

modern day, i don't need to mess around with the details

dabuda

modern day, let them do the work for a change

phipark

modern day, I like it when they pull their own weight.

doopstr

I want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed

GreenMonster

I voted modern day girl.... I like it when a woman asks me out

I don't really think it has anything to do with whether the girl puts out (slutty) or not. It has more to do with their personality (being foward or shy). Shy girls can be slutty too...

TLD

But from my experience, the shy, non calling girls put up a facade and love playing games. The last "shy" girl I put up with, asked me to call her constantly, but she would never call because she thought she was being old fashioned. This moron even came up with the lamest excuse, she said she had no long distance on her phone plan so she couldn't call my cell number which had a different area code. I didn't buy that ghetto excuse because at most, she'd get charged for a regional call and if she thinks I'm not worth 50 cents then fuck her. I can't stand girls who love to receive attention, but are too snobby or too cheap (in her case) to reciprocate.

fdl

I'm a little confused by the poll. I'd like a girl to call too, but I dont want her to be slutty

TLD

Then you should pick the modern girl option. It was the opinion of my christian friend that girls who call are sluts, but girls who like getting chased and only receive phone calls from guys were nice, old fashioned girls. The girls who call need not be slutty, just considerate, and the girls who don't call aren't necessarily "nice" girls, just rude and inconsiderate.

fdl

Ahh, I see. So do you think him being a Christian is the reason he feels this way?

ric

Well, I hate to say it, but women who own their own sexuality and are willing to express it with class (I'm not suggesting running the streets offering to blow the seventh fleet......) are not sluts. They are intelligent women of this generation and this era. There is so much that was F****** up about the old steriotypes of me call you recieve, me on top, you on bottom, me heman you vulnerable girl, me earn the money, you spend it............... jeez....................... I don't want to be rude about your Christian friend's belief structure (er, stricture) but he really has a skewed view of sexuality and gender, imho, and he is missing out on a much richer world out there.....................................

My wife reached out to me (with great risk) to tell me that she had feelings for me; that marked the change of a magnificant friendship to a wonderful love affair. I would love for your Christian friend to tell my wife to her face that she was being slutty.

TLD

Your wife sounds like a confident woman and that's what I love in a woman, confidence. There is absolutely nothing wrong with how your wife approached you, but my buddy believes in a long courtship, which to me is a bunch of garbage. I'm not gonna waste my time and money on multiple dates just to start holding hands 6 months down the road. I believe that the girl should not only express her feelings early on in the courting process, she should be calling the guy as well. If the guy is doing all the work, the relationship will never work. I've seen some of my sucker friends fall for that courting bullshit and they either wound up divorced or being used big time before they got dumped. Ric, you met a smart woman and as for my buddy, he wouldn't call your wife a slut to your face, but he is a believer in that courting nonsense.

Doc.Booty

ric

well, we did have a long courtship, since we couldn't get married until her divorce................ slight wrinkle (in my defense, I note that she was separated------------------from the abusive drunk before we started, so I was no homewrecker). Actually, given some of the issues we each brought to the relationship (incredibly fucked up childhoods) a long courthship allowed us to sort that out. But our courtship was not - what's the word - chaste -

We had been colleagues and friends at work (same company, different division) but we used the same coffee machine at night, both compulsive workers. The romance started when I moved away, and she realized - and then I realized - and then we simply started to "be" together every chance we could. I eventually returned to the east coast so that geography would not figure into the custody battle, and when I got married, I had the bonus of having a great stepson in my life.

I think the real question you're getting at is that women need to take responsibility for their actions in a relationship, including being honest about their sexual feelings; I agree completely. Then, if if the drive and the chemestry is right, the time you spend to gether just gets better. I think our culture is way, way too complicated to pay attention to a primer for dating that was cast aside in the 1920's.................. and women are entitled to own their own feelings and, at times, to be the assertive one.

fdl

MisterMehoff

I don't have time to mess around with girls who want to be the center of attention. That shit is for the birds. I like modern girls because they are aggressive and know what they want, not necessarily what they need...which is some respects is a drawback. But, I like a girl who enough confidence to come talk to me. Its happened plenty of times to me. It strokes the male ego also...which is what the ladies are accustomed to.

Ken1997TL

I just appreciate decent communication, regardless of who initiates it.

cM3go

lady on the street but a freak in the bed

ricecake

A man who appropriates a set of values based on the answer to a single seems too judgmental to me. If he wants to organize his perspective on relationships, fine. But I think he will be a very lonely guy. If I were single, I'd go ahead and call a guy in whom I was interested-I don't have time to pansy about with some game that has very little value except to confuse things.

fdl

I dont think "lady on the street" means a woman who doesnt call or is old fashioned. At least thats not my interpretation.

To me the ideal woman is classy, and respectible, and "nice" in most situations, but is an absolute whore behind closed doors

ricecake

I wasn't casting doubt on cTLgo's post, just stating that it was a repost. The second paragraph has to do with Batin's friend's mindset.

cM3go

I didn't read the whole thread :troutslap

fdl

ah. makes sense.

Whiskers

Me likey da sluts....

GeishaGirl

I don't see anything wrong with calling a guy, why play games? I also notice that girls who wait for calls usually go nuts while waiting for them. I don't see the big deal about picking up the phone to call him if waiting is going to cause so much agony

This is common thinking for the older generations though. For example an older female relative always tells me I shouldn't a guy, even now that I have a bf Its like hell no, hes my man and I'm going to call when I want damn it. Not in excess of course, but I don't see anything wrong with a little initiation on my part

ricecake

my moms was like that--it was really weird because she was unusually progressive about a lot of things, but this was her big hang-up.

GeishaGirl

I don't understand it. Just the other day she was like don't call him and I'm like why? We aren't mad at each other And shes like, well you have to keep him guessing. I don't really understand the old fashioned game too much, but I don't like it. Modern guys have other shit to worry about rather than some bitch playing games.

flexte

a recent survey showed that 67% or all married women have cheated during their marraige. so IMHO call or wait for me to call your still a slut. and to be honest i would rather know your a slut than to find out after you cheat on me.

fdl

hmm..not sure thats an old fashioned thing. That there is a head game that guys and girls both like to play. Noone wants to seem overly anxious i think.

fdl

67%? Link? That seems WAY too high.

GeishaGirl

Of course not overly so, but I don't see the harm in giving him a call. I personally don't like games, if I want to call I'll call.

spidey07

nope, its correct.

Current trend is women are cheating a whole lot more.

fdl

ya. head games suck

fdl

thats messed up! 67%?? What is the rate for men?

spidey07

I don't know. I generally see 50%.

But like all "statistics" take it for what it is.

fdl

I find it hard to believe that 50% of men cheat. and I find it impossible to beleive that 67% of women cheat. Unless "Cheat" is defined in some very loose way.

Anyways, a link would be nice if you have one.

dabuda

well, one of my gf's friends is cheating on her bf. and they've been together since HS

of course i dont know that

fdl

So you think women cheat more than men? maybe time for another poll