kosstick

So anyway. I go out with this girl yesterday and I decide to go mini golfing she says she hates golfing so im like alright icecream she agrees and we head to baskin robins..

Way there we laugh a lot all things are going good.. (btw she needs to be home at 10:15 - 10:30)... So we start talking all this shit laugh at baskin robins.. this that and it is like 9:30 when we leave. So we talk some more on the way back and we keep talking about life and asking question (ex's relationships and just w.e question).

So far soo good. I know she is religious a bit and im like eh to religion... So while parked (its like 9:50 9:56 ish) we park somewhere (near her house and we keep talking) i bring up religion foolishly and shes like do you not believe in it..

Im like its not like i dont or i do.. I question it I have questions and im open minded.. This that and she kinda has a oh look on her face and I then say im open minded and that i dont want the whole fact that i dont believe in god get in the way of anythin that might happend(she is in a church youth group and like church every sunday with fam gal) she says ok and she says you should go to church and talk to the priest he can answer some of your question.. I say ill try it one time..

so her sis keeps txting her.. (older she prob wants to know hows it going) then it hits 10:15 and she abruptly wants to leave.. I ask her to call me when she goes inside.. (making sure she got to her house fine) she does i tell her if its ok if i call her when i get home she says ya if shes not sleeping.. I call no answer... then i say hi on aim and 2 seconds later she logs off..

So ya... Basically no call from her since yesterday.. and i dont plan on calling her till tmorrow.. or should i wait it out a little longer..?

Darksom i need ya bro

phipark

Call her tomorrow, if no answer, leave a message. Now, the ball's in her court. If she calls back great, if not, no biggie, just move on.

03bl AC k CL

you dont need dark on this one... it's pretty obv she got quickly turned off... first impressions are usually lasting. i had something like this happen to me a few weeks ago. the night went well, but then after that she was distant and seemed disinterested. i found out from her friend that i mistook this particular girl for a "good girl" and didnt try anything too aggressive and just got a kiss instead of goin in for some serious action (stupid me and my bad judgement ).

you win some you lose some. the balls in her court id say give her a text or IM, nothing too crazy tomorrow just say whats up. if she isnt being friendly just back off.

good luck man.

kosstick

Ya i got it bro.. But she told me to go to her church like 6 times to meet her priest after i told her i wasnt really a hardcore religious believer lol and i told her my family was tho and my sis was like her. I said i would go with her one time and she said ok and I told her its not like i believe he doesnt exist or he does i just question it but i do believe in a higher being.. She ended up saying i had to go quickly.. I would understand if she said hey its 10:15 i dont want to get in trouble.. But she did it in a less subtle way you know??

Ill give her a txt tmrrw she said she was changing her number before she gave me hers so hopefully she hasnt changed it yet lol (shes getting a new phone) so ya but overally she laughed a lot and i did feel a connection..

IF shit doesnt work out (i hope it does) then ill move one.. I will find another.

invisiblewar

The part where you messed up was when you told her that whether you are or arent religious shouldnt affect your relationship with each other. If a person is truly into their religion they will 99% of the time date people in their religion.

I know you said you would go with her to service once but she was probably turned off a whole lot by it and is just taking time to think the whole situation over. If she doesnt call back just say fcuk it and move on unless you want to get with her. Then yea youre most likely going to have to sacrifice a few sunday mornings and wednesday evenings

darksom1

I'm going to assume that she is around the same age as you? Which means that she has/is probably getting a strong dose of religion thru church AND family. So an intro to her family means sort of like introducing them to a future bf who is all but an atheist. Not palatable to the local faithful! Nope, and she knows it.

Of course she is scared and she probably doesn't know how to juggle the two different worlds (religion & relationships), especially if they share no common ground, which would be love of God. So even if she wanted to pursue something with you or felt that you might come around to receiving the Word, you are unequally yoked right now, and provide a serious obstacle with keeping her life right with Christ. Your views on things are too different, secular in nature and content, and she is too young to accomodate them, nor does she feel she should. Basically, you are not right for her, as her life is in God's hands, and not her own. You understand? It is not personal, she just can't. Too many barriers and two different directions...

Move on...even if she tries to come back, let her go. Maybe another time you will be ready for such a thing, but not now. You have way too many questions unanswered. Nor is she ready, and there may be something about you she likes, but she is trying to serve a higher purpose now...so let her...

You are a good dude...there are others playboy...many...but let that one go back to the "flock"...

kosstick

Thx guys I'll try again tmrw but I'll squash it if it doesn't happen

darksom1

Even if the girl goes out with you again, there are way too many things to deal with about this man. Not worth the headache if you are in it for a score, which will not be coming anytime soon, if at all. It is also too much of a headache if you want a relationship with her because she is not looking at things the way you are and she can't give you what you want.

Having said that, if you agree to accept Jesus Christ as your saviour, and give your life to God and His Word, then there may be a chance, a good chance to have a relationship with her governed by the Word of God. But you can't ignore those obstacles, because she can't and/or won't.

To ignore that is like ignoring a detour sign for an unfinished bridge bro: Even if you ignore the sign...you still won't get across!

JT Money

scratch this one, move on. you are shooting yourself in the foot when you discuss past relationships and religion on the first date. first find out if you even like the girl lol

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

I agree with all the other clowns.

I think she is not right for you. Religion is really important to a lot of people and when you are not as religious, or if you are like me and question it a lot, then it can cause conflict. It always seem to me that the people that go to church a lot and are told that religion tells you to be tolerant are usually the ones that judge you the fastest for not being religious.

I would say, if we're wrong about her and she is OK with you being a sinner, then no reason to stop seeing her, but you probably should expect that she will not be as "easy" as most other girls. "Easy" in more ways than one.

kosstick

ya I know I'll move on fucking religion just cuss I don't believe more than she believes in a man in the sky I wamnt to believe it but I have too many unanswered questions

03bl AC k CL

if she shows interest in you see her again. if you like her which obviously you do, then who cares if it doesnt work in the end? youre only 18 you should experience things (im not much older but im just saying) that are new and different. if pursuing her seems exciting do it. im only saying if she is distant, leave it at that dont chase her.

like i said before you had a very similar first "date" experience to me recently in that we talked about everything it all seemed to go well, but something in the end just wasnt right.

its nearly impossible to change a woman's mind when she has made it up about you. im not saying you blew your chance, but judging by her reaction she doesnt know what she wants.

you have to ask yourself is this worth it though? it seems like immaturity on her part dashed with a bit of brainwashing. im not "religious" but i believe in god, pray, and trust faith in certain situations. however, i never understood this whole cult like approach to religion it is absurd and to shut someone out of your life for being different is exactly what religion teaches us not to do.

so in short, this girl seems a bit out there, but the heart wants what it wants. this seems like its going to be an uphill battle, so ask yourself if you are just attracted to a pretty face, maybe a big rack? nice ass?

or does it go further than that. if its physical attraction look elsewhere, cuz this pirate doesnt look like she's givin up the booty that quickly. keep up updated today.

darksom1

I understand how you feel, but this post is exactly why he shouldn't follow-up on this girl, and the difference between her approach and his. Your viewpoint of this is secular and over-simplified. Why can't a man be with a woman because they have different backgrounds is not the same as not being with someone because of religious reasons. People die because of religious differences regularly. Not saying this is a factor here, but just trying to highlight the different attitudes.

If I grew up in the hood, and you grew up in the suburbs, that is the same as what you are saying. But not so about religion. That is a way of life. She is deep in it, and her family is probably deep in it. It's about her whole belief system, not just an approach to a guy or an evening. It's about her life, everything. When she meets a young man, she wants him to be a part of that. A man of God. She has been taught that is the right way. How can she bring this man to her family with his ways? There is nothing wrong with him in the way he does things. They just don't mix with her way properly and are doomed to failure. The mere fact that you don't understand that underlines the point. It's not what he believes in right now. He has too many questions that she can't answer or accomodate.

The way he does things is because of his beliefs. The same for her. To know her approach, you have to think that way and have those same understandings. This is not your family is rich and my family is poor but we love each other type stuff.

Why is it necessary to figure it out? It is what it is...

dope!

iTrader: (28)

hehehe

on another note..girls are just weird like that. so hit her up today or tomorrow and if you get no reply or she still acts weird..drop it and move on

03bl AC k CL

true. but i basically said that if she's not open to him, its not going to happen, and to not chase her. all i was saying is if he gets a warm response back from her why shouldnt he continue to see her? if she stays distant, its not going to happen.

i know theres a big difference between social status and religion. family acceptance is important, but i feel like at 18 yrs old IF SHE calls him back, NOT if he keeps calling her hoping for a respons, why not see where it takes him?

i hear you man, im just saying we all have different views on here, and i dont necessarily disagree with you. actually most of what you said i do agree with. i just feel differently in that (at least how it seems) you say its impossible for them to take this relationship any further, i say its unlikely but why not be open to possibility? where's the harm in it?

i dont believe he can change her mind, if its made up, but if she chooses to accept him for what he is, then cool.

regardless of what we say, he can choose to ignore all of our advice, comments, personal experiences, and do his own thing which is cool too. all we can do is speculate, post comments, and wait for him to tell us whats up.

darksom1

I feel ya...but kosstick wants to fuck...it ain't happening...

03bl AC k CL

hahah hes gonna need the jaws of life to break thru that chastity belt

kosstick

I dont really need to fuck i can wait for that in a relationship... Thats fine ive been raised in a certain way lol.. Its weird.. basically armenian guys are kinda thought to wait till marriageb efore fucking their girls.. loll

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Why is that true? I dated a girl that went to church at least once a week, did activities with her church, wore a cross almost all the time. She was very religous. She called for God a lot when I was with her. And there was a reason she didn't wear the cross all the time.

A woman being religous does not mean she doesn't enjoy sex. There is a reason a lot of people say things about Catholic School Girls. Not all of them are made up.

03bl AC k CL

well, i guess it doesnt have to be true. but the fact she seems apprehensive just going on a few dates with him because of his lack of devotion to her religion seems like sex would be off the table i could be wrong i guess, but OP didnt make it seem that way.

dope!

iTrader: (28)

double


oo trust me i know all too well. those catholics school girls...WOW!

darksom1

I used to smash this chick who would cheat on her husband with me. She would meet me in her van (point of attack). When I got there, she was reading the Bible ...so I blessed her sick ass!

Not saying it is impossible, just that he can just respect it and move on. Why take on those kinds of headaches at 18. And yeah, that girl he was with showed she had a problem with his religious views. So that is different from the women we had (though I had mine calling on a higher power too dawg!)...ok, ok, ok...no more of that!

Ravi you should be ashamed of yourself!

EL19

iTrader: (4)

im sure if the OP wouldve sed he loved Jesus Christ he woulda got the cheeks that night! LOL but I personally would not date a chick who didnt have a faith. Whats your purpose in life if you have no faith in anything? So i feel where she is coming from on that note but I would still smash an atheist. Hell, if he even said he was Hindu or Muslim she may not have had that reaction. But i say just leave it alone and next time dont bring up religion on the 1st date

And being someone who went to Catholic school. Those Catholic girls get down!

03bl AC k CL

^^lol bang the fear of god into them

EL19

iTrader: (4)

my sentiments exactly

kosstick

Ya well My faith is questionable.. Nothing wrong with that.. I question things and i dont think i should be put in a unfair disadvantage because of it you know? i shouldnt have brought up sensitive issues on first date also..

but i am open minded and i do believe in a higher power.. so is that faith?

03bl AC k CL

sure it is.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Since most religion implies we're all going to hell my brother, may as well enjoy it.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

It's been 2 days. You never know. Maybe she has bible camp or something and can't use her phone. If she calls him back and say that she can't see him because he isn't religous, then it's a complete write off.

EL19

iTrader: (4)

Yea thats faith. You may want to emphasize that you do actually believe in something when you have these convos. Cause to say you question things and what not makes you seem like you don't believe in anything. I knock noone for whatever they do or don't believe in. I question the Bible, ALOT. And although I don't agree with some of the things that it says I believe in God, faith, prayer, and that we are here for a purpose. Whether it be good or bad. I think the whole religion convo needs to be something taken seriously and talked about in depth so you get a feel for what the person is about. She probably drew her own conclusions about your faith, especially since you jokingly brought it up. I say don't sweat it though. If she stops talking to you just off one BS religion convo then shes really not worth it and is morally shallow.


Bible camp tho

Lister00169

Damn Ravi! Care to share some tips?

I agree with everyone, she is a lost cause. If she can't accept you having different views than you, then she will never be a true companion in life. To me, a true companion will love you for your "positives" and "negatives" - I put quotes around them because it's super subjective.

You are young, you sound like a level headed person and I commend you for being honest and open with her

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

^^^^

I was young and in shape. It's all down hill from there.

shnee

kosstick

ya one thing i wanted to be was upfront and let her know what she was somewhat getting into you know? I dont like lying about religion.. If i am any faith i will be christian if i one day will i will be that.

Mockenrue

In my mind, there are four kinds of people when it comes to Religion:

Closed minded believers: they tend to be farily judemental, narrow-minded, and feel that their one specific brand of faith is the only correct one.

Open minded believers: faith is an imporant component of their life, but they also respect other beliefs and perspectives.

Closed minded non-believers: they scoff at anything having to do with religion and tend to think they have the wold all figured out.

Open minded non-believers: people who are open to many possibilities and respect religions, but choose not to make it a part of their life.

Generally the open minded people can date with no problem, though it may become an issue when kids become involved. If you're a non-believer, it probably won't work with a closed minded believer. If she is expecting you to instantly be "converted" by talking to a priest, I'd say there's a good chance that she might be. Just have respect for her beliefs and move on if it doesn't work out.

kosstick

well she jsut txt back.. Good luck should i talk for a bit feel things out then ask in for another date before i fly to boston?

Mockenrue

Doesn't anyone use actual sentences anymore? This barely looks like English to me. I can't tell whether everyone is getting lazy or if I'm just old.

03bl AC k CL

...if you think she's worth another date yes.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

kosstick

I was typing like a dumb ass.. She just responded back. Wish me luck and should if feel things out then go from there for another date..

Well if all goes well why not?