I've been infactuated with a woman (the one who is always in your imagination when your just about to cum) for the last two and a half years since my first day of work in this new town. The day I saw her, my jaw dropped. We became friends and spent many times together, out to lunch, ditching work to go to the movies, etc...

Unfortunately, she has always had a b/f. One that she truely believed she loved even though I felt he was a creep. She told me about a year and a half ago that if they ever broke up, I would get first dibs on her.

To make a long story short, she called today and told me they are done and tonight is my one shot. She is pretty distraught and has just started drinking to ease the pain. She wants to go out with me on a date and have a good time but I 3 issues.

1- I am kinda in a relationship right now and I feel bad if I think of it any more than just hanging out with her.

2- I can't drink so it may be akward. I'm an alcoholic and I'm on drugs that will put me in a coma if I drink. Without the alcohol, I am pretty much a wuss.

3- I'm on call for work 24x7 this weekend! Damn microsoft just released new patches so this could really suck.

I've been looking forward to the day for years and now that the woman of my dreams has finally given me a chance, I'm stressed and freaking out.

Now I have 2 1/2 hours before I am supposed to be at her house!

Suggestions?

 

Masturbate a few times and if you still have desire to meet up with her, then go for it!
(plus you'll be more relaxed)

 

Define "kinda in a relationship" please.

 

We have a child together and stay together just so we can both feel loved. There is no way in hell i want to hurt my 1 yr old but can i just lbe "fine" for the rest of my life?

 

Well go for it.

But you realize that it will never work between you.

Strike one = rebound
Strike two = she likes to drink, you're recovering...nothing good can happen here
Strike three = you've been her "dick in a glass" for quite sometime
Strike four = you are in a relationship and that is totally not cool to the other person
Strike five = kid with partner

 

Good point... that's it... I may just go out in a BANG!!!

 

What about this option... I'm gathering supplies

 

In the first place, you are in a relationship so going out with this girl on a date would be direspectful to the mother of your child (unless you have an agreement with her that you are not telling us). Secondly, the girl just broke up with her bf so anything that will come out of this will probably just be a rebound. You are just a band-aid to her.

 

Do it Dbox style

 

It's only cheating if you get caught. But on a serious note, it's a tough decision. On the one hand, you have an opportunity you've been dreaming about, but on the second hand, you have a moral dilemma. Can you live happily choosing either option? You should never have to settle. You've got one life to live and you should probably live it to the fullest extent. And you should never stay with someone you don't really want or care to be with just for the child. You can still be great parents even if you don't live together. Just don't let the child ever hear or see you two fight. My

 

Besides, do you just want to hit it and quit it or do you want something more long term?

But you realize that it will never work between you.

Strike one = rebound
Strike two = she likes to drink, you're recovering...nothing good can happen here
Strike three = you've been her "dick in a glass" for quite sometime
Strike four = you are in a relationship and that is totally not cool to the other person
Strike five = kid with partner

 

life is short and there are no do-overs. Hope you made the right call.

 

worse comes to worse, you would only have to pay child support for another 17 yrs.

 

I have been married now for 25 yrs so I may not be the one to give the right opinion on htis matter. But here goes....

Put the ball in her court. Tell her about your situation and the 'other' partner. If she really wants to be friends and work at moving forward then time will let it happen. This is not a situation you want to rush into. It is now time for her to wait. If not, no loss...except for a moment of possible pleasure. Hope all is well with your daughter and job with HP.

 

in cases like this I find that Chloroform and/or Rohypnol are your best friends.

 

Well,

I went over to her house around 8:00 last night for our "first date". I was extremely nervous and wanted a beer so bad but that wasn't an option. She had been drinking a bit earlier so she was already getting tired. We had to wait until 10:00 before we could go out because she needed her roommate to babysit her daughter.

I brought her some beautiful flowers, a friendship card, and a 6 pack of beer. She doesn't really drink much but I fugured it was better than chocolate! We spent a lot of time talking about her ex and talking about my g/f. They have met each other before over the past year and a half. We also spent a lot of time joking and laughing. To this minute, I am still awestruck by her beauty.

Anyways, we went to Dave and Busters and had a really fun time. We ate and played games and even did the photo morph just for fun to see what our kids would look like. Then the night started to get depressing because she was real tired and in a downer mood. She still loves the guy even though he is a cheating jerk to her. She said she is going to give him an ultimatum to marry her if he wants to keep her.

Of course, this brought me down because no matter how much fun we have together, she still won't really leave this guy. He can cheat on her and even tell her about it and for some reason, she is ok with it. I really just don't understand women at all.

We left D&B around 12:30 and I took her home. I got out first to open her door for her and she asked me if I wanted to come in. I DID want to but I kindly declined and walked her to the front porch. She thanked me and told me she had a great time and apologized for being a downer. I smiled and looked into her beautiful hazel eyes and told her I had a nice time too. I went to give her a friendly hug goodnight but our lips had other plans. I kissed the softest, most perfect lips God has ever created and my entire body was engulfed with goosbumps. This was the first time I have ever felt that way before.

We kissed for close to 2 minutes as I was stroking her long blonde hair and kissing her perfect little ears. The kiss was amazing and lasted until she had been unintentionally pushed 10" away from me at the waistline. I had to get home now!!!

One last hug and I was on my way. When I got to my car, I realized she had left her CD in the player so I grabbed it and ran back to her porch. After a soft knock, she answer the door and I handed the CD to her. I then grabbed her and gave her another passionate, yet soft, kiss. After that, I really needed to feel her ass so I just gave the two handed reach-around and squeezed like I was testing for ripe navel oranges.

I blurted that she needed to take her CD back because I had a feeling I would never see her again (very un-smooth). She stuck the CD back in my hands and told me she would DEFINITELY see me again- soon. My eyes lit up, and my heart grew even larger with affection. I turned to my car and almost did a sort of gay half skip back to it. I put the CD in the player and listened to it all the way home.

So now what... lol When should i call her?

 

Dude, she totally owns you. I fear for you really. Sorry to say it but I only see bad things in the future. I see her getting back together with her boyfriend at least a few more times. I see you waiting in the shadows for another shot.

It's ironic that you don't see the situation that you are in. You have a woman at home that you knocked up that you don't feel romatic towards. You are looking for that relationship with a girl that you've known for many years but who doesn't feel romantic towards you. You worship her because she is beautiful and because all guys want to have a beautiful girl. I don't know what you look like or act like but I'm gonna guess that she doesn't feel that worship towards you. And believe me, women worship guys too. They are the ones who stick around when the guys are cheating on them because they think that guy is so handsome, sexy, charming, perfect that it's their one shot at someone "so great" and a "catch." It's also commonly mixed with a low self-esteem that gravitates towards "strong" men who are strong willed and make the women think that they can gain self-worth if they gain acceptance from that strong man. Usually father issues involved as well.

I know everyone has to live with hope and I'm not trying to kill yours. I am however trying to remind you that you have a child with a woman who lives with you. The girl you like also has a daughter. Lust is not enough to keep a relationship as complicated as this together.

 

beauty is only skin deep....

think first.. act secondly... it is really simple... but God only gave us enough blood to let one head function at a time...

Like everyone else said... you're the rebound... you might lose everything you have now just because you think the grass is greener on the other side....

be careful... and it takes alot of balls to tell everyone you are a recovering addict... krudos 2 U

 

I totally understand and I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket. I have thought about the exact things you have said and I think you are dead on. Her Ex is the exact guy you just described. On the other hand, however, the mother of my child and I are NOT living together as we have already broken up numerous times. She lives with her mother close to an hour away. The more I think about it, our relationships exists just to raise this child. I only knew her for a week before she got pregnant and we only dated for about 2 weeks before we broke up. I found out she was pregnant since then and we didn't get back together until after the baby was born.

 

I was hoping for a good video

 

I say BRAVO and Congratulations. I have had one of those kisses and unfortunately I let her get away. She too was extremely beautufil and would have eaten my soul for breakfast if I had ever wronged her, but sadly we never got there.

Best of luck, just keep it slow and casual. No pressure, and I bet that in 6 months she is yours, of only for a little while. Enjoy it while it lasts.

 

That's what I'm saying! I have this one opportunity that if I don't at least try, I will be regretting it for the rest of my life!

I don't want a one night stand with her, I want a relationship. It's not just her physical beauty either. She is so smart on such a different level that I can't even explain it.

 

I'm all for going for the opportunities in life. Just keep your cool and don't mess up that chance though.

I'll still warn about that whole women worship thing. Despite the common misconception, women don't want men to worship them. They actually want a man they respect and admire to love them. That's a big difference. If you put some woman on a pedestal, then by definition, she's above you and you are beneath her. Why would a woman respect and love a man that's beneath her?

Think of it in reverse. If some girl's got the hots for you and followed you around waiting for you when you don't really like her, do you think you'll somehow fall in love with her with time? You'd feel bad for her or maybe feel annoyed by her but you wouldn't fall in love with her.

Just remember that she's gotta think that YOU are all these things that you think of her. Or at least some other qualities that she wants in a man, maybe like respectful, loving, dedicated, resolute, kind, etc. Also, the common things that ALL women like are good looks, money, and intelligence, confidence. The important thing isn't how she makes you feel, it's how YOU make HER feel. That's what people fall in love with, how that other person makes THEM feel.

Love is initially always a selfish emotion. We fall in love for reasons that make US feel good. That can grow into something deeper with time but don't forget to seed and water that love first before you go trying to pick fruits off of it.

 

God damn Dr. Phil is a part of the forum!!!

Thanks for the advice bro! Well spoken.

 

So this is what guys give advice about... How to cheat with other women?

You're all dysfunct.

 

If she just recently broke up, you will be her REBOUND. If you are "kinda" in a relationship now and you do like this current girl, I suggest you keep it that way.

 

she has you on a string. maybe she can't leave the other guy b/c he has balls

she needs to want to be with you b/c she wants you. not b/c the other guy won't marry her

 

Put someone up on a pedestal and they are bound to fall at some point. Its all roses and peaches in the beginning... but then again you've known this girl for a good while now, so you probably should have hit it she was probably sober enough at that time to make the right decision... it would have been easier for you to reel her in. but good luck and don't get her pregnant

You have an update for us?

 

No update as of yet...

I guess I really want to ask her if that kiss meant anything at all to her?

My "kinda" g/f is going on a date tomorrow night so I guess I'm just playing the waiting game.

 

You mean the girl you knocked up is going on a date, right? Not the one you were just seeing. If that's the case, then there's NO reason at all to feel guilt (as if there was before, but now there's even less).