Well if you're having doubts and you think you would one day divorce than she probably isn't the one...

how does one know if he/she is one's soul mate?

how does one know if thier bf/gf is the one to marry?

sorry for the seemingly stupid questions, but i'm in my first serious relationship and the subject marraige has come up.

How would you feel if she did move on and start dating other people? Would you cool with that?

Although I do agree with you to an extent, it just gives them one less thing to bitch about.... Trust me, if anyone knows about their wife "bitching" its me!

:ibthemygirlisnuts,tookmysonandboltedthread:

The question is not stupid at all my friend.

You find a girl who's attractive, you go after her. You didn't get rejected and she agrees to go out on a date. You two hit it off after the first date and she becomes your girlfriend. As days/months goes by, you realize she makes you happy, you love her so you tell her that, she says the same back. Now you two are in love.

You go through life, you hit obsticales. You find that everytime you're depressed or hit a road block in life, she's there for you. She comforts you and she makes you happy and calmer even though you're still stressed out from the situation. You realized she's your sunshine when the skies are grey. You find that you are a better person when you are around her and you can't see yourself without her in your life. You find that when you are depressed and seems like there is no one to turn to, she's your only help and hope. When she comforts you, it touches your soul and you realized she's the one. You then realized she's a better person than you are, in return, she makes you a better person. You realized she's your soulmate.... and no mater what time of the day, or what she wears, she's always beautiful. You love her as a whole and you find youself willing to do anything just to make her happy too.

I've dated alot of women in my life, but no one makes me feel that I can't live without them until 4 years after I met my lady. It takes awhile, but when you realize it, you'll know.

Like any normal person be upset for awhile but then get on with my life.

^Someone who is truly in love would fall to shit, so based on that maybes shes not right for you. My mother always says if her mother were to die before her father she knows hed kill himself... They always have their arguments, but love eachother and have been together longer than I even want to live(sarcasm STFU).

I'm with you as far as a religious ceremony goes, but most likely my "soul mate" wouldn't be religious so that wouldn't be a problem.

Marraige is a lot more important to women than men, sure men want it but women fantasize about it their entire lives... If you really do love her I see no reason why not to get married. You don't need a little piece of paper, etc, but tough shit, the marraige is hers, and she gets the wedding. Also, a marraige shows everyone else and her how devoted you are, or supplements what you are showing now.

Mike

Maybe I'll bribe her, I'll get her a ring if she buys me a Pioneer Navigation System ...fair is fair

To be honest it doesn't seem like she means all THAT much to you...

I can probably speak for most people, that when there is a child involved, you do everything you can for the child. Even if that means being semi-unhappy in your relationship.

Plat, I kinda agree with Whiskey here but with that said...

She only said she wanted a ring...

Well, you know what they say, "a Pioneer Navigation System is forever"

I think it fits.....

Even with all of the emotional reasons aside...you should probably get married just for legal issues. Example: My sister has been with her boyfriend for over 7 years. His son was born around the time they started dating. My sister has basically been his mother since then because the real mother is horribly unfit. ie. crack addict. 9 months ago my sisters boyfriend went to jail for a few very old charges (do not beat people up when you have a bench warrant on you. ). When the mother turned up to take the child there was nothing that my sis. could do. The boy is in foster care at the moment because he was taken from the mother when DSS saw his living conditions and the courts dont really smile on giving a child back to recently released felons. My sister had no say in what happened to her boyfriends things, or his child because they didn't have a "piece of paper".

Buy the fuckin ring.

oh btw she was 2 1/2 months pregnant when he was arrested.

With you two not married, she's holding three A's and about to pull the fourth one when it comes to your child. A buddy of mine had his girlfriend leave him for another man and moved from Seattle to Indiana. He couldn't do anything because they weren't married. He fought to stop her but wasn't able to. That was back in 1990.

I can't believe how many people are saying he should get married. If he doesn't want to get married and she "forces" him to, he will resent her. Yes, he has a child whom he needs to seriously consider, but forcing the child to grow up in an unhappy home isn't that great of an option. I can't speak from experience, but I would suspect it would be better to have two loving, but separated, parents than two parents who live together and are constantly arguing.

On the other hand, if you really love her and have no thoughts of ever wanting to be without her, then I don't see why you are so reluctant. If you have doubts, then that's an entirely different situation that will come to a head at some point in the not too distant future.

And as others have said, there's NOTHING you can do to prevent her from bringing it up... repeatedly... out of the blue... when you least expect it.

I'm not seeing this relationship lasting very long from what I've read.

nah, get the navi but not the ring.

So Ray....you engaged yet?

Well Señor Ravi, she didn't bother me about it at all when I got home so I brought it up at around 10. She said that she knows I don't want to get married and all that you don't love me blah blah blah and said if I get the ring it will atleast show her that I care. Basically I have to buy a ring but don't have to get married. I'm beginning to see a trend last year she wanted a "diamond promise ring" and a diamond pendant and she got both. This year its this ring and maybe next year she'll want a diamond choker

I don't understand every woman out there wanting to get married. Whats the point? Getting married doesn't stop divorce, it doesn't stop fighting and cheating and it just makes it a thousand times harder to leave the person. I can understand from the legal standpoint, but if you don't want to get married, you don't get married. Don't let any woman change your mind about it. Thank god my boyfriend and I are on the same page about things.

I knew it! She only wanted the ring! Did I say it or did I say it?

<-----

you dont have to spend thousands of dollars to get married... you should do a piece of shit "City Hall" type of wedding lol

I would ask her what the ring represents? Does she expect that after the ring is given that you would get married?

We might have to change your name to Water-s2 j/k

"and the award for the "best female opinion that makes the most sense EVER" award goes to............




.......ZtotallynakedZ

Marrige is a big expensive party to get a piece of paper that says...."hey...if you screw up and I wan out...I'm taking half of your stuff"! I'm getting married once and once ONLY!!! AND...I'll do it when I'M ready!!! There is a reason why guys propose and women don't!

NO, she's sick of everyone asking her, "so when are you two getting married?"

Trust me I get the same heat all the time. Ray, if you don't wanna get married again, don't. But if you wanna have a family with this girl, and want her in your life, you may need to. I mean I know she knows you don't wanna get married, but 99% of girls do want to get married, and even if they're "ok" with not getting married, in the back of their head they think "I'll change his mind" He can't be with me forever and not marry me. I heard a chick on the radio the other day that was engaged for 8 years, dating for 4 before, but was still convinced they were "getting married" It's just socially the thing to do, which I'm sure is a reason u don't wanna get it, but my warning to you is, that she probably still has it in her head that she wants to eventually. If you really don't wanna marry the girl, you need to reevaluate your situation, but like you said, she's at least very adament about getting diamond after diamond

The words "bite the bullet" comes to mind.

I know you are against the marriage thing, but at some point I think if it is that important to her it will be a deal breaker. If in the future she meets someone else and gets married, I just hope you don't regret it if some other guy is raising your boy. I think you may end having to compromise on this eventually.

i dont understand the point of getting LEGALLY married. just do it spiritually or some shit like that. buy her a ring but DONT! go to city hall. if marriage is al labout paperwork then its just total bullshit.

I usually never say this, but when you're older, you'll understand. It is very important to most women and for that matter, most men.

But only because it's that important to women and we want to keep the peace.... or is it piece?

Marriage is a life-long partnership, and should not be something you're bullied into. If you aren't 100% committed to getting married, DON'T do it, regardless of ultimatums. If that means you lose her as a consequence, that's your choice and hers. I can't imagine TELLING someone they need to marry me....You'd think they'd WANT to.

EDIT: And instead of dancing around conversations about RINGS instead of about commitment and marriage, talk about it openly and honestly. If you don't see it happening at all in the immediate or distant future with her, you need to make sure she TRULY understands that so you both can choose a path for your relationship and where it should go.

Damn it man. Quit selling out our secrets.

exactly.

What's with people saying the man HAS to get married? He doesnt have to do a damn thing if he doesnt want to. I personally dont want to be married anywhere in the near future, and my girlfriend knows not to press the issue, or it's splitsville.

I understand you have a kid, and that makes it difficult, but DO NOT let her pressure you man. If she gives the line of bullshit saying " you dont love me because you wont buy me a ring ", that's just stupid. How can she say that? I'm sorry, love is more than a clear shiny rock, and more than just the words " I DO".

How many of us know people that have the ring, and the words, and are absolutely miserable? I changes nothing. And if you let her push you into it, if you cave in, you lose all face with her. You become nothing more than a push-over, and she will walk over you again and again, until it finally hits you, then what will happen? Arguements, fights, hate filled words and hurt feelings? No my friend, dont let it happen.

I've never been married, but most of my friends are, and I see how miserable the ones are who caved in are.

But the ones who COMPRIMISED, who both wanted the marriage are usually the happiest. They both wanted it, both felt good about getting married, and now a re by far more loving and caring towards each other. Talk with her flat out, no bullshit, no beating around the bush. Be honest and open, but dont hold back.

Listen, make up your own mind, but let me tell you this.

You're worried about your kid, and that's great, you obviously have a brain in your head. But dont worry about the whole marriage/non-marriage thing affecting you child. I grew up without a father, my Mom without a husband, all my life. I've turned out ( relatively ) fine. I've made something of myself, got an education, and have generally made my family proud. I was glad I never had to go through a divorce like most of my friends did. There was no tension between adults, no yelling/arguements/screaming. So dont think that you have to live a half shitty existence just so your kid will have "married" parents! If you're even a half decent parent and can teach your child well, then you've succeeded in life.

But that's my , take it as you will.

btw

all women are nuts...

except the ones on here of course!

The thing is that to most men that don't really want to get married, one of the last thing on their minds is that they are not getting married because they don't want to be tied down. Women never believe that.

i'm in a similar situation and it aint easy, been with my gf 5 years!

Then don't!

And if your partner feels differently about it and can only see marriage in her future, set her free to find someone with similar goals and desires. No one HAS to get married, and personally, I don't think anyone should compromise their views and desires on this issue just to make someone else happy....it can only end in you feeling pushed into it or resenting it. I feel it's a decision BOTH parties need to be 100% behind and excited about, cuz a healthy marriage can last a lifetime, and that's a long-time for someone to feel like they're part of something they weren't completely behind in the first place.