I was thinking about this subject, and wanted to know what most people would do in this particular situation. What degree of friendship/relationship would you need with someone to notify them that they were being cheated on?

The facts of the situation are you 100% know the person is being cheated on. The person that is cheating does not know you know. So, in which particular situations would you notify your friend/relative/etc.

Family member? Yes.
Close friend? Yes.
Friend? Depends.
Acquaintance? Probably not.

My question doesn't stem from the following example, but it does relate. I have a friend who was cheated on during the first week he started dating this girl. He doesn't know, and several other people know about the cheating. IMO he doesn't really need to know about it, unless he was cheated on again. Discuss

 

my answers exactly

 

I thought the rule is that men say nothing and women say everything....

 

I know about several instances of cheating. One was a good friend's father. I didn't say anything, but they were also having martial problems. Her mom knew, and her dad was arrogant enough to go to local resteraunts with his 'ho. I felt it would be less embarassing for my friend if i never said anything. Another was my best friend, both cheating on her boyfriend and getting cheated on. I knew the times it happened, I didn't say anything at the time to either party, but we talked about it several years later.

 

I'm glad I never really had to spill the beans on anyone.

 

Ravi...I have something to tell you.....I think your girl has been playing tic-tac-toe.....

 

DICK....

 

IMO he needs to know so you should tell him.

 

I'm not too sure. They were dating a week. I'm sure that they weren't exclusive that early in the game. All it would do is bring about a lot of doubt. I think if it happens again, then he NEEDS to know.

 

Yeah I have experienced the same 2 situations.. haven't said anything, but I only have positive proof on one. The other I am pretty sure cheating is happening, but I haven't seen any hard evidenece (no pun intended )

 

Well to get down more to the facts.. I went to HS with the girl, and she used to live down my street. I only know the guy through her, but I have become friends with him. They have been dating for just a little over a year now, and he loves her, probably a little more than she loves him. It puts me in a tough place to just say it out, but if the right situation comes around (ie me drunk, gf cheats again) it may just come out.

 

x2


EDIT: If you're closer to him than her then tell him. Personally I don't respect people who cheat, therefore, I wouldn't mind spilling the beans. Nobody should be subjected to that kind of behavior regardless of whether it was a "one time" thing, because it almost never is.

 

Well they are exclusive now, but the cheating happened in the first week of dating. Plus like I stated before I am not the only one who knows about the cheating. There are better friends of the bf that know about the situation and haven't told him either. It's a timeline sort of issue.

I am more "closer" to her since we went to HS together, and only met this guy through her. Although I do talk to him more online than I talk to her. At this point though since I have known about it for so long if I told him now it would just be weird.

 

Is it really cheating if it's in the first week of a relationship? Were they really that close, that early on?

I'm not a fan of cheating, but that's not the worst offense I've ever heard of, as long as he settled down once the relationship progressed.

 

Ahh I kinda overlooked the part of when the cheating happened... If this happened during a "dating" period then it really isn't cheating.

My statement above really only applies to cheating once exclusive (even after a week of being exclusive because I consider that to be even worse).

 

Well you can say they were "exclusive" but it did happen in the first week, so that's what makes the decision to tell iffy.

 

And you bastards aren't answering the question!!

 

The way I look at it, if I was being cheated on I would want to know about it, regardless of who is telling me.

 

It's old news... If they have been together for a year, and the "cheating" thing happened at the beginning of the relationship when it's still the dating phase, then don't say anything.

It's old... Why bring up the past if the present is going well?

Hopefully, I understood the situation correctly.

 

:ibmovedtodating&relationships:

What did you expect posting in the main ramblings page

Either way...

Family member? Yes.
Close friend? Yes.
Friend? Depends.
Acquaintance? Probably not.

The degree of friendship i would have to have with the person would have to be very close, almost brother/sister like friendship... otherwise... basically depends on how much you know and trust your friend that they will leave you as the anonymous tipper... and not put the whole thing on you...

I don't think i would want a crazy chick coming after me because i told my buddy she was cheating... If it were to happen, my relationship with my friend would be out the door... and my response to her would be, "you were the one cheating... :troutslap"

 

horny...you got a goodeye...

 

In the first week of dating? Is that seriously considered "cheating"?

 

Yeah that is pretty much how I and others are looking at it. Now if the cheating happened again we would tell, but it was so long ago, that why ruin the relationship they have now if the cheating doesn't happen again.

 

Although this is a D&R topic, I meant for the question to be more general. Like you said though, I think it would have to be a really good friend before I would tell them. Unless it was really blatant or frequent cheating, then maybe the situation would change.

 

Haha wtf does that have to do with anything I was just curious as to what it took for people to tell the other person about the cheating.

 

I'm not sure I'll call it cheating if it's before they decided to be exclusive. And unless your friend called her up for their first date and said...."Me Tarzan, you Jane. Jane no bang anyone from today on!"....then I still say it's not called cheating.

 

Is that how you talk to your wife? Me Tarzan you get naked on bed

 

Depends on how much I drink. Favorable outcome of such a remark depends on how much she drinks.

 

I just point at the bed and grunt

 

So...
If she drinks a little... "Me Jane, tarzan go play with monkey"
If she drinks an average... "Me Jane, tarzan better be fast like cheetah"
If she drinks a lot... "Me Jane tarzan come explore my jungle & cave "

 

lol...i dunno...thought it was appropriate...lol...but yeah, for me, I would have to be close to the person to let them know. and it goes by whoemever I know more closely, so if i met girl a first and met her boyfriend after and we become friends, girl a would get priority, but if i knew girl a was cheating, i would sit down and have a chat with her before anything else. if boyfriend was cheating on girl a, then depending on how much i liked boyfriend, it would either become a case of blackmail or a strict talking to.

btw, how is your goodeye?

 

would you like to know?

 

I don't think it matters. IMO, unless it happened when we were exclusively dating each other, then it's just "prior relations." If it were me and I was told, I would just shrug my shoulders.

 

My eye is good today.. I'm trying to see out of it, but I keep getting an eyelash in it and dust.

 

lol....you got your vision all cloudy...don't look directly at the cannon when you fire...or you may never see our goodeye again...

 

Friend? Yes.

I'm not sure what it could depend on...i'd certainly want one of my friends to tell me what was going on if I was being crept on. Otherwise what kind of "friend" is he if he keeps his mouth shut?

 

Family member? Yes.
Close friend? Yes.
Friend? In most cases.
Acquaintance? Maybe
Broad I Want to Fuck? Yes.

 

tell him.

its only been a week so it wont be that bad... but later down the road its gonna suck ass for him if he finds out the hard way

 

No it hasn't been a week.. they having been exclusive for over a year now, but it happened the first week they started going out. I didn't know him that well up until the last 6 months

 

Agreed!