Dating & Relationships Love sucks. Now you can cry about it…

Married folks chime in

Thread Tools
 
Old 10-19-2006 | 01:06 PM
  #161  
dom's Avatar
dom
Senior Moderator
 
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 47,710
Likes: 801
From: Toronto, Canada
^Is it wrong that I got a woody reading that?
Old 10-19-2006 | 01:10 PM
  #162  
astro's Avatar
Community Architect
robb m.
 
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 72,814
Likes: 647
From: ON
babyfer, i think your husband must be a latent homosexual. Do you have more experience than he does? have you ever compared your numbers with each other? I blame this for my sisters sexless marriage....
Old 10-19-2006 | 01:27 PM
  #163  
dom's Avatar
dom
Senior Moderator
 
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 47,710
Likes: 801
From: Toronto, Canada
How far is Lake Elsinore, CA to Barrie anyway?
Old 10-19-2006 | 01:30 PM
  #164  
DiveforTL-s's Avatar
Why I watch sci-fi...
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 290
Likes: 0
From: Greater Seattle
Originally Posted by dom
^Is it wrong that I got a woody reading that?
Old 10-19-2006 | 01:32 PM
  #165  
DiveforTL-s's Avatar
Why I watch sci-fi...
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 290
Likes: 0
From: Greater Seattle
Originally Posted by Babyfer
so last night he goes to go shopping for clothes before vacation, cuz he's pretty much ruined all his workin in the dirt, except for his nice clothes..
anyway, he leaves i get in the shower and all fresh shaved up.. put on somethin sexy and a robe over it, knowing that when he gets home he will pull the tie and take it off
like 2 hours go by, nothin, he knows what i'm thinking, cuz of my b-day.. he keep looking at the clock, it's about 11:30, i say no it's not my b-day yet.

anyway then i'm bendin over on the couch and he walkover and lifts up the back and says .. ooo i know what's under there, now you ruined it.. i said WHAT.. ruined it, the point is that you see it...
so i take the robe off, he's like nice, K well i got stuff to do..

WTF... last month he was complaning that i didn't wear it enough, now he doesn't care when i do...... i throw him on the couch and get on top of him and start kissing and undoin his pants, he hugs me and like rolls over so i'm under, then gets up and tells me that he has to finish building the deck.. IT'S FRIGGEN 11:51 AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


also, before he left to go shoppin he was really gettin me riled up and hopin that i was gonna get some.. lickin and kissin and biting..

gggrrrrrrr


I would kill the little dog accross the street right now if my wife would start doing things like that. How far are you from Seattle? j/k. Kinda.

Last edited by DiveforTL-s; 10-19-2006 at 01:35 PM.
Old 10-19-2006 | 01:33 PM
  #166  
astro's Avatar
Community Architect
robb m.
 
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 72,814
Likes: 647
From: ON
Originally Posted by DiveforTL-s
How far are you from Seattle?
Old 10-19-2006 | 02:47 PM
  #167  
Babyfer's Avatar
Instructor
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 190
Likes: 0
From: Lake Elsinore, CA
Originally Posted by Astroboy
babyfer, i think your husband must be a latent homosexual. Do you have more experience than he does? have you ever compared your numbers with each other? I blame this for my sisters sexless marriage....
i've been w/ him he was my 1st, and i don't know his #'s he wont share

and about 3 days from canada... lol, we're on our way tonight.. seriously.. then to chicago..
i'm just so sad cuz i hate to be teased!
c- if i can make people get a woody typin it, then i know it did the trick for him, he just pushed me off and went out side
Old 10-19-2006 | 03:27 PM
  #168  
leedogg's Avatar
RAR
 
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,783
Likes: 1,286
From: DC Metro
Originally Posted by AcuraDriver2006
errr............ the answer is no. Don't generalize the entire race based on the fact that you're horny. So if you're short, does that mean all asians are short?
somebody needs a or something.
Old 10-19-2006 | 03:31 PM
  #169  
astro's Avatar
Community Architect
robb m.
 
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 72,814
Likes: 647
From: ON
Originally Posted by Babyfer
i've been w/ him he was my 1st, and i don't know his #'s he wont share
well, i can't blame him for not sharing, that's something i would never do either IMO, only bad can come from those kinds of comparisons. However, your situation would seem to be the polar opposite of my sister and her husbands, so i'm afraid i don't have any more useful insight to offer.

Hopefully he'll surprise you while you're away. here's hoping anyways!
Old 10-19-2006 | 07:10 PM
  #170  
CLPowersWife's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,746
Likes: 0
Originally Posted by CLpower
ask her who won't get off the computer now and who is denying who sex
What, are you proud of yourself for being a prude?
Old 10-19-2006 | 07:13 PM
  #171  
CLpower's Avatar
teh Senior Instigator
 
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 44,094
Likes: 980
From: Huntington Beach, CA -> Ashburn, VA -> Raleigh, NC -> Walnut Creek, CA
Originally Posted by Caliadria
What, are you proud of yourself for being a prude?


No, I want to get laid damnit!!! PUT OUT!!
Old 10-19-2006 | 07:22 PM
  #172  
Gpump's Avatar
You want me to break it?
 
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 2,871
Likes: 0
From: Dallas
No communication barrier there. Blunt isn't the most romantic way, but it sure gets the job done.
Old 10-19-2006 | 09:17 PM
  #173  
DiveforTL-s's Avatar
Why I watch sci-fi...
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 290
Likes: 0
From: Greater Seattle
Originally Posted by Gpump
No communication barrier there. Blunt isn't the most romantic way, but it sure gets the job done.
no, if blunt got the job done, I would not have these problems.
Old 10-19-2006 | 09:32 PM
  #174  
CLPowersWife's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 8,746
Likes: 0
Originally Posted by CLpower
No, I want to get laid damnit!!! PUT OUT!!

SHOWER!!

Old 10-19-2006 | 09:55 PM
  #175  
fast-tl's Avatar
I love cars!
 
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 3,807
Likes: 2
From: TEXAS
Have you checked the signs of cheating? I just don't know guys with that little interest in sex..
http://dating.about.com/od/cheating/...atingSigns.htm
http://www.spousealert.homestead.com..._cheating.html
http://womansdivorce.com/signs-of-cheating.html
Old 10-19-2006 | 10:18 PM
  #176  
Mockenrue's Avatar
Arriving Somewhere...
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,061
Likes: 0
From: Pittsburgh
Yeah, no interest in sex from a guy is rare enough... but in Babyfer's situation, he is using it as a tease/power thing. There's something really not right there. Sorry.
Old 10-19-2006 | 10:44 PM
  #177  
fast-tl's Avatar
I love cars!
 
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 3,807
Likes: 2
From: TEXAS
didn't she say once there was an 84 day dry spell? That's WAAY more than a tease. He's getting it somewhere:
from himself
OR
from someone else
Old 10-19-2006 | 10:52 PM
  #178  
fdl's Avatar
fdl
Senior Moderator
 
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 21,672
Likes: 1
From: Toronto
Originally Posted by CLpower
No, I want to get laid damnit!!! PUT OUT!!

Wasnt your wife just complaining 2 weeks ago that she isnt getting sex? I think you two need to get your cycles synched up.
Old 10-19-2006 | 11:01 PM
  #179  
soopa's Avatar
The Creator
 
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 37,950
Likes: 8
From: Albany, NY
Originally Posted by Caliadria
SHOWER!!

Old 10-19-2006 | 11:08 PM
  #180  
soopa's Avatar
The Creator
 
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 37,950
Likes: 8
From: Albany, NY
Damn Babyfer. Sounds like a bad case of infidelity to me.

I'd go Sherlock Holmes on his ass.
Old 10-20-2006 | 09:39 AM
  #181  
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 37,115
Likes: 602
From: Landisville, PA
Babyfer....that's messed up.
Old 10-20-2006 | 10:41 AM
  #182  
Mike 350Z's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,124
Likes: 0
From: MD
I got a little chub from that story as well. Um, I can see that happening once in a while but not for 84 straight days. For both women here...it sounds like he's just tired of hittin it.
Do your guys have short attention spans? Have they been known to jump around from girl to girl before they married you? Seems like they might just be bored. I dunno, just throwing things out there.
Old 10-20-2006 | 12:21 PM
  #183  
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 37,115
Likes: 602
From: Landisville, PA
Originally Posted by Mike97 3.0P
Do your guys have short attention spans? Have they been known to jump around from girl to girl before they married you? Seems like they might just be bored. I dunno, just throwing things out there.
I don't know if it's just boredom. I mean unless you girls make it a habit of bending over couches and wearing a lot of seductive clothing.
Old 10-20-2006 | 12:43 PM
  #184  
fast-tl's Avatar
I love cars!
 
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 3,807
Likes: 2
From: TEXAS
Originally Posted by Mike97 3.0P
I got a little chub from that story as well. Um, I can see that happening once in a while but not for 84 straight days. For both women here...it sounds like he's just tired of hittin it.
Do your guys have short attention spans? Have they been known to jump around from girl to girl before they married you? Seems like they might just be bored. I dunno, just throwing things out there.
He may be bored, but what is he doing with HIS "urges?" I have not once in my life gone more than 30 days without it since losing my virginity. Let alone since I was married. Two weeks, probably and three weeks, maybe. Three months for a guy? No way.
Old 10-21-2006 | 07:20 AM
  #185  
sasha's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 6,251
Likes: 71
From: D.istrict of C.orruption
Originally Posted by fast-tl
He may be bored, but what is he doing with HIS "urges?" I have not once in my life gone more than 30 days without it since losing my virginity. Let alone since I was married. Two weeks, probably and three weeks, maybe. Three months for a guy? No way.
Yeah, there's something odd about it.

Babyfer, have you talked recently to your husband about this?
Old 10-21-2006 | 09:12 AM
  #186  
leedogg's Avatar
RAR
 
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,783
Likes: 1,286
From: DC Metro
Maybe theres and underlying health problem with him somehow?
Old 10-21-2006 | 10:47 AM
  #187  
EuRTSX's Avatar
Team Owner
 
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 23,588
Likes: 105
From: District of Corruption
Originally Posted by dom
^Is it wrong that I got a woody reading that?

lmao




Anyways, there definitely seems to be something wrong here. Babyfer your situation is a bit odd, even if I were to work long hours and such, I'd give a day alone with my baby.
Old 10-23-2006 | 07:54 PM
  #188  
CLpower's Avatar
teh Senior Instigator
 
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 44,094
Likes: 980
From: Huntington Beach, CA -> Ashburn, VA -> Raleigh, NC -> Walnut Creek, CA
Originally Posted by fdl
Wasnt your wife just complaining 2 weeks ago that she isnt getting sex? I think you two need to get your cycles synched up.

ya, pick up a few pages back


Originally Posted by Caliadria
SHOWER!!


I'm not the one that doesn't shower everyday
Old 10-24-2006 | 07:56 AM
  #189  
dom's Avatar
dom
Senior Moderator
 
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 47,710
Likes: 801
From: Toronto, Canada
Maybe he can't get it up? Babyfer, maybe he's too embarrassed to admit it so he instead acts as if he's not interested. I'd flat out ask him. The worse thing that could happen is he plows you into tommorrow for questioning his manhood.
Old 10-24-2006 | 10:28 PM
  #190  
neuronbob's Avatar
Senior Moderator
 
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 20,020
Likes: 4,618
From: Cleveland area, OH
Wow, what a sad thread. My wife and I are less frequent than we were during the first eleven years of our marriage because she's had some serious health problems and is on meds , and I work 12 hours daily keeping a roof over our heads and the bills paid. Even so, we found enough time to make a baby, and I never, ever, ever, EVER refuse her request for "our time".

Sex>>>>>>>>>>>>Acurazine any time.
Hell, sex>>>>>>>>>>sleep any night, I'd rather go into work tired than ignore what's lying next to me at night.

Never gone 84 days. Never even gone a week without. The ladies situation in this thread is terrible, especially Babyfer. You have got to communicate clearly with your husband about your needs. If my wife feels neglected, she will say so. Since I never refuse her (again: sex>>>>>>computer, work, anything), problem solved.
Old 10-24-2006 | 11:06 PM
  #191  
fast-tl's Avatar
I love cars!
 
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 3,807
Likes: 2
From: TEXAS
!

Originally Posted by dom
Maybe he can't get it up? Babyfer, maybe he's too embarrassed to admit it so he instead acts as if he's not interested. I'd flat out ask him. The worse thing that could happen is he plows you into tommorrow for questioning his manhood.
This post was a sigh of relief that maybe this is the problem. Babyfer, in addition to this have you checked out things like oral, physical and feminine hygiene on your part? Neuronbob and I sound a lot alike, but sometimes she has that "not so fresh" feeling, which puts me in a holding pattern. It may be difficult for your hubby to bring up, so double-check yourself, in addition to looking out for his potential need for Viagra!
Old 11-04-2006 | 12:23 AM
  #192  
fast-tl's Avatar
I love cars!
 
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 3,807
Likes: 2
From: TEXAS
Well, any thoughts from the OP? There's been plenty input on this thread...
Old 11-07-2006 | 10:47 AM
  #193  
Babyfer's Avatar
Instructor
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 190
Likes: 0
From: Lake Elsinore, CA
OK just got back from our trip.. i didn't get it on my b-day (the 19th) but i did however get some on the 20th.. and ti was great, he even said that we need to do it more often.. so i was ALL HAPPY.. then we go to Niagra Falls.. HUGE Falls view room (the Honeymoon Suite). he starts the teasin thing again, tellin me how sexy i am, blah, blah... pushin me up agains the window nakie says he's showin me off. but still didn't get any.. a romantic place/time and tease, and NONE.

as far as the tryin to be clean thing.. i usually take a shower before anyway, especially after travling in a car for about 12-18 hours/day.. but i do the same at home after work.. i alway like to smell yummy for him.

and for the can't get it up thing.. he has NO prob there.. that's why i don't get why he does this.. he gets all hard and rubs on me and teases me, lets me lick it or what ever, then takes it away.

last night it was his b-day he said to give him head for his b-day, i said ok, and i can give you me then he smiles, goes outside for a bit to work on the deck.. comes back in then goes to shower.. this is my chance right i get nakie on the livingroom floor.... NOPE he wants to go to the store an get a new game AT 10:30 AT NIGHT (and no i don't believe that he's cheatin, cause he's always tellin me how he can't live w/o me... blah)
anyway, he comes back an hour later i say lets go f**k then he says "go to the room and wait 4 me, but don't hold your breath" i look at him and make a sign noise, then he gets MAD AT ME and says "great so now you wanna make me feel bad, like a piece of crap! thanks"

WTF??????????????? i said goodnight & walked away...

i appreciate all your help, i really do, but i've come to the conclusion that i'm doomed, and it's either deal w/ it or move on.. and i do love him & we have a lil one in the mix now soooo i guess i'm stuck here

thanks though SO MUCH for letting me vent & offering advice, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT
Old 11-07-2006 | 11:09 AM
  #194  
dom's Avatar
dom
Senior Moderator
 
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 47,710
Likes: 801
From: Toronto, Canada
Originally Posted by Babyfer
he gets all hard and rubs on me and teases me, lets me lick it or what ever, then takes it away.



Wow, I'm really sorry to hear this. But I wouldn't settle. I'm not telling you to leave him but somehow make him understand that you need more. There's something seriously fawked up with a man who won't have sex with his wife while at a hotel in Niagra falls.

Wow.
Old 11-07-2006 | 11:34 AM
  #195  
Mockenrue's Avatar
Arriving Somewhere...
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,061
Likes: 0
From: Pittsburgh
You have a lot of guts for posting here... I admire that. Anyway, I know it's been said before, but communication is the only answer here. If you really want a marriage to work, you have to be comforable enough with eachother to tell HIM all of the stuff you're telling us... every detail (including what you like and don't like when having sex). If he isn't willing to listen, then this is just one of many many problems you'll have. If he is willing to listen, you'll wonder what took you so long.
Old 11-07-2006 | 12:37 PM
  #196  
Babyfer's Avatar
Instructor
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 190
Likes: 0
From: Lake Elsinore, CA
i have told him, that's the thing.. he turns it around on ME for making him feel bad.
always sayin "great now you make me feel liek a peice of shit" i never yell or raise my voice to him, simply talk... i've cried a few times during the conversation but then he gets madder that i'm so upset about it. so i usually go cry in another room where he doesn't know what i'm doin.

he i guess doesn't really care what my needs/wants are as far as sex.

i never imagined myself talking about all this stuff .. especially to people that i don't really know.. but maybe that's why i did, cause you don't know me or him.. so this way i guess that it's not so embarassing for me.
Old 11-07-2006 | 01:52 PM
  #197  
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 37,115
Likes: 602
From: Landisville, PA
Originally Posted by Babyfer
i have told him, that's the thing.. he turns it around on ME for making him feel bad.
always sayin "great now you make me feel liek a peice of shit"
Seriously, he has issues. If he pulls that shit again telling you you make him feel like shit for talking about how he doesn't seem to be interested in you or whatever....look him in the face....fuck that, smack him in the face, and ask him if he has any idea how shitty it makes you feel for being rejected by your hubby.

No offence but he gives guys a bad rep.
Old 11-07-2006 | 02:05 PM
  #198  
neuronbob's Avatar
Senior Moderator
 
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 20,020
Likes: 4,618
From: Cleveland area, OH
Was he molested as a child? Is he on meds? He must have some deep issue that he is not sharing with you. I feel so terrible for you, sex is an important part of a marriage--not the most important thing, but a measure of how well the many other pieces of the marriage are going. Many couples are mildly incompatible sexually, even my wife and me, but most make a middle ground somewhere. Your case is an extreme.

Prayers that your hubby will come around....and the next time he tells you that you are making him feel bad, let him know in no uncertain terms that you feel he is rejecting you.
Old 11-07-2006 | 02:08 PM
  #199  
Infamous425's Avatar
fap fap fap
 
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 4,239
Likes: 7
From: Kirkland
Originally Posted by Babyfer
(and no i don't believe that he's cheatin, cause he's always tellin me how he can't live w/o me... blah)

always believe a man when he says that
Old 11-07-2006 | 02:13 PM
  #200  
Mockenrue's Avatar
Arriving Somewhere...
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,061
Likes: 0
From: Pittsburgh
Originally Posted by Babyfer
"great now you make me feel liek a peice of shit"
That's exactly the way he SHOULD feel... He's acting like a child, and unfortunatley, it seems like you've been too easy on him. Obviously he has very little self-regulating guilt, so the only thing that might make a difference is consequence - think 5 year old.


Quick Reply: Married folks chime in



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:37 PM.