i think that we should all wear signs that say if we're sex fanatiks or not, and weather or not we will want to be later.....

then all the sex peps would know who to talk to...

i mean why did he make me this way if he doens't want to take care of it???

sorry i know it's a stupid post, but still havn't gotten any.. like a month i think

 

What sucks is that opposites usually attract...

 

How about we all start a group and see who has to go the longest without beacuse of our SO. I'll have to do some reasearch to try to get a firm number on how long it has been... I stopped keeping track a while ago... This is only the sex count, not other 2nd prizes...

 

k.. sounds good.. i'll start

i think that it was like the 18th of August
so as of the 28th
Babyfer = 41 days and counting

 

I still get it once or twice a week. The problem is it's between 9-10pm every time. It's like I'm showing up for a doctor's appointment, there's no spontaneity at all. Drives me crazy!

 

at least you're getting it
but i competely understand what you're sayin

 

Yeah, night time isn't nearly as good as afternoon when you're full of energy... gotta love the weekends. And yes... I have kids. You have to be sneaky about it! Videos in the basement are a beautiful thing.

 

Is this a common guy problem? I cant get my husband off the computer EVER. I have to bribe him with dinner or a movie that he wants to watch, and half the time it doesnt work...dinner will be cold and ill be finished with dinner before he ever surfaces for food.
and its all online poker or a new computer game... and its not like its only on it a little bit.. he is on the computer whenever hes not at work..
ive talked to him a million one times and he agrees theres a problem but never stops. Ive atleast gotten him to stop staying up all night playing video games/poker..

but sex is good. not as much as when we were teenagers.. but then neither of us had to work jobs or had any responsibilities then either.

 

ok... the last time was our the day before our anniversery so July 7, so 84 days...

 

OMG!

so sorry...

 

Yah, I know. I guess I got tired of "fishing" everynight to see if she was in the mood. She has only started anything that ended in sex on our wedding night and one other time in 6+ years of marrage, so it is all on me to make anything happen. And by fishing I mean real foreplay or full body massages or something like that. I have kinda stopped really trying. I guess I am on my own for now untill she changes. I sometimes get something or she lets me take of her sometimes but even those have been less than once every 2 weeks... whatever... Who needs sex anyway, there are many a-holes who cannot get any and they live... Yah, who am I kidding...I almost want her to want kids so we can "try" once in a while.

 

I don't want this to sound cold, but have you considered a divorce? You have a VERY long life ahead of you!

 

Not too much. I love the crap out of her, I just need to push through this and try to get her on the right track. I do not want to find some other place to get it beacuse then I feel the guilt and become the a-hole, no matter the reasons. I really need to get down to it and ask her if she really feels that "we" are satisfied in this relationship (with the sex part). THat is the problem, too. We do pretty good with everything but sex. We have spent long times apart (the Navy is my other wife) and are fine. We just got a house, good cars, a dog. I am not on a ship right now so I am home every night. This should be the good time to balance out the not as good times (6 yrs stright on sea duty can kill many marrages). I just have trouble telling her that she needs to change. She can be sensitive about herself (she was a fatty for most of her life untill she started running, not a pear or apple shape, just big boned, but she is still insecure about somethings). I just do not want her to feel like I am attacking her, but this is getting bad. I guess all the hints in the world are not as good as cold, hard facts.

 

if she is worried about her looks.. that should make her feel good that you wanna have sex w/ her, that should tell her that in your eyes she's fine!

If it wasn't for all my/his guys friends, i might have worries, cuz he doens't want it, but they keep me on track that i look good. and he tells me all the time, just no action to follow it up.

you can have a great marriage w/o sex.. no reason to divorce if that's the only problem. it's just MISSED VERY MUCH. my hubby & i are very blessed, we love each other very much, and constantly express it, just the sex is WAY LAGGIN.

 

She is not worried about her looks, she is just still very self aware. She knows she looks fine and is only ~130 lbs and 5'6" and very athletic now, it is all just left over from 25 years of being overweight. As for the rest of what you have said, we are the same. I am losing weight (down 30 from 230 at 6'), and she has been encouraging me. I am always complementing her body and how I like that I am with a fit person. I think the real problem is that she does not communicate ANYTHING with me about our sex. She can talk about sex, just not ours. Even when we were having sex, she tells me nothing untill I hurt her, she does not like what I am doing (sometimes), or she is done. I am her first and (as far as I know) only lover, so I know that is some of this, but how can she know that I take care of myself and always want her, but not tell me some way when she wants something. I am not as full of vigor as when I was 17, but I could do it daily if not more and be fine. Anytime she wants it, it is hers. She just never wants it or does not want it enough to tell me or does not want it from me. Those are the only three options I see.

 

we're just bound to be sex-less it sounds like

 

I F-ing hope not. I am tring to hold on to the hope that this is a phase and she will come around.

 

Just wanted to make sure you guys are aware of the term "Asexuality". I hope it is not the case of any of us here, but it happens.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexual

 

k, so has anyone with the issue gotten any yet.. still not me...
tomorrows my b-day too, and since i didn't get it on my anniversary, i'm sure i'm not gettin it tomorrow
especially since we are leavin for our trip tomorrow, we're drivin cross country, mom & dad are goin too, but in a different car, but to save $$ we will brob stay in the same room as them when we stop for the night. so there's 2 more weeks

 

This topic -

I'm never getting married, ever.

 

ask her who won't get off the computer now and who is denying who sex

 

None here. Just got through Red Week (always off limits, but sometimes I try anyway). Im just tired of fishing. I guess I need to sit her down and talk. It seems to only make here sensitive about things. Im screwed.

 

How about counselling?

 

you and me both my friend

 

I'd love to add something constructive, but my advice would only be bad advice. I'm at the point where I am considering leaving...

As a note, I tried counseling and it was a fiasco. It really depends on the guy. Mine is emotionless, so no use trying to talk about feelings.

Really, the best thing to do is probably try very hard to be completely honest without being judgemental or accusing and sit down and talk. I know many of my own problems stem from mixed messages that would have been solved if we had communicated what we wanted. Unfortunately, men don't "get it." There is no subtle way to tell a guy anything. They are very much straightforward. For me, and I'm gussing most women, this is not very romantic. I wish he just read the signs I throw out there, but I pretty much have to hit him with a brick and say "Hey--give me some!!" Maybe I'd still get turned down, but it's a start...

 

^^^Wow that's unfortunate it's gone that far. Are you married or just bf/gf? Hopefully he's not getting it elsewhere. Does he have a pr0n addiction?

 

i flat out tell him i want it, and he'd rather tease me with it than give it up

sorry to hear that it's not working 4 u either

 

To the guys out there who are worried about getting married know this. If she isn't really into sex before you get married, it isn't going to change. If she enjoys it (sometimes construed as being selfish in the sack) then she'll probably stay that way and you'll be ok. Surprised at how many women aren't getting any even with the blunt approach. Good luck.

 

We are married--9 years. He's not cheating--just a work-aholic.

And, as the post above mentions, I am told I am selfish because I want to enjoy sex, too. He thinks I should jump through hoops because I am the one who wants it.

 

I guess this is where you and I would have been good. I ALWAYS give her hers first (she has problems getting the big O from sex, but oral...thats another story) and make her make me stop either when she is done or if she is not in the mood. This is what I call fishing. I just try her and see what I get. Sometimes she comes, sometimes not. Sometimes she goes down on me, sometimes not. Almost never sex. The last time we had sex, I could not sleep afterwords beacuse she was so reluctant, I felt guilty. Everything she does for m e feels like just "punching my card", i.e. just to make me happy. I jsut think everybody deserves to enjoy sex. That includes me, damn it.

 

Time to start satisfying yourself and letting him know that you are satisfying yourself (because he damn well isnt)

 

Yah, this does not work. They see it as having to do less work. If someone does not want their partner to be sexually satisfied, what do they care if they do it themselvs?

 

Does "satisfying yourself" include picking up a man and getting satisfied? I think maybe it does...

 

Shouldn't be too hard for you... just ride the CBR around in a bikini and a half helmet.

 

yup been there done that, all he had to say was "REALLY, U DO THAT" i said ya, i have to get satisfaction somewhere, and damn it i'm horny...lol

really, that might count..
i'm seriously thinkin of askin if we should have other partners, cuz he sure doens't wanna give it up ( at least to me ) and i know a lot of guys that would, and i definately do them if i could

i'm just scared of the reaction i might get, ya know

 

I wonder if ethnicity plays a factor in this. Are you asian zamo & babyfer? I'm half viet and we're horny all the goddamn time

 

Your husbands are weird.

 

errr............ the answer is no. Don't generalize the entire race based on the fact that you're horny. So if you're short, does that mean all asians are short?

 

lol, nope.... white girly here
german, polish, irish & somethin else.. just a mutt i guess LOL

 

so last night he goes to go shopping for clothes before vacation, cuz he's pretty much ruined all his workin in the dirt, except for his nice clothes..
anyway, he leaves i get in the shower and all fresh shaved up.. put on somethin sexy and a robe over it, knowing that when he gets home he will pull the tie and take it off
like 2 hours go by, nothin, he knows what i'm thinking, cuz of my b-day.. he keep looking at the clock, it's about 11:30, i say no it's not my b-day yet.

anyway then i'm bendin over on the couch and he walkover and lifts up the back and says .. ooo i know what's under there, now you ruined it.. i said WHAT.. ruined it, the point is that you see it...
so i take the robe off, he's like nice, K well i got stuff to do..

WTF... last month he was complaning that i didn't wear it enough, now he doesn't care when i do...... i throw him on the couch and get on top of him and start kissing and undoin his pants, he hugs me and like rolls over so i'm under, then gets up and tells me that he has to finish building the deck.. IT'S FRIGGEN 11:51 AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


also, before he left to go shoppin he was really gettin me riled up and hopin that i was gonna get some.. lickin and kissin and biting..

gggrrrrrrr