SaraWI

Please, do!!! I am one of the "unsexed" and I have been through this EXACT same thing. What is it about these guys? My hubby did this just after we were married. He'd come home from work and sit on the computer or Playstation while I sat on my a$$ waiting for him to be done with that. Finally, I realized I couldn't do that and threatened to leave a hundred times and went out to the clubs on my own, etc, etc. Guys--you do not want your woman who feels she is not getting enough attention out at the clubs on her own, ok??

Things are not as bad now, but still not where I would like. He is never around and I find myself looking elsewhere. This is not good. Have you heard the saying that "sex isn't everything unless you're got getting any?" That is sooooo true.

zamo

You are so right.

As I said before, I had instances were I have been very tired, but a nice BJ was enough to wake me up and get into some action. Intercourse > Sleep in my book.

Whiskers

For the undersexed women, what are the age differences? Women hit sexual peak at different ages of men....I hear mid 30's for women My wife is almost there ). Men are early 20's.

SaraWI

Yes, this is a good point. Hubby and I are the same age. (Physically--let's not get into how old mentally )

I'm 29, so this means I should be peaking right now and he was prob peaking around what--13???

Whiskers

^^Yeah, but the low end of the mens peak is still higher then the womens high, so you should be fine.....Also, kids are bad, get a sitter.

zamo

I have read that men peak at 18.

But i truly believe that its all in your mind. I am 31 and my performance has been increasing proportionally to my age. I wish my wife could ask for more.

Babyfer

i'm so with you on that!!!
i'm 28, he's 31, and i hear him and all his friends talking about how many girls he was with before marrage.. interesting though, they nor he will give me a #

and i see all you guys talking about how you'd love to get sex all the time.. guess hubby just has probs.. oh well...still love him

CLPowersWife

One thing you both have mentioned now is the Playstation/computer that they spend a lot of time on. I had this problem VERY SERIOUSLY a few months ago (there was a really long thread about it, actually... I need to search for it because it had some good advice for you guys in it), and then my buddy Robb up there suggested that I get Scott to stop playing online poker... it was like a freaking lightning bolt hit me. Basically, he was getting his adrenaline "rush" every day, all day, by playing online poker, and by the time I got home, he was, quite frankly, tired.

Our problems aren't over yet... we still have a long way to go before we're doing it as much as I'd like to, but I have to say that there's been a marked difference since I got him to stop with the fake adrenaline rushes. I don't know how you can suggest it to your men; I simply said, "Get off the f-ing computer or I will castrate you, you lazy bitch ass nigga." But your needs may differ.

CLPowersWife

https://acurazine.com/forums/dating-relationships-14/sex-question-frequency-341844/

There's the thread. Guess who the "friend" is. lol

Babyfer

thanks for that , have to read it later or tomorrow

DiveforTL-s

I had a friend about 5 years ago in the same situation. They were merried only about 4 monthes and he lost intrest. She started not wearing clothes at all to try to get his "intrest" up. It did not work and they seprated. I guess that is why this is hitting me beacuse I thought that that was a very isolated person. I have the same problem in my house but i guess that lowered or no sex drive is expected for a woman, not a man.

astro

s'ok, but there's a time and a place, don't really think this thread was it

fdl

Its not that married men dont want to have sex all the time, its that we dont want to have sex with the same person all the time.

DiveforTL-s

Ya chose to get married, so you chose to promise to only have sex with the same person (unless you have other arrangments) so you have an obglitation to be with them from time to time. Those who do not understant this have problems.

Mockenrue

Sorry, I gotta call on this one. I like playstation and online poker too... at times they are addicting, but there is no WAY that they could replace a decent sex life. It's a whole different thing. When you've been married for a while, it becomes less desperate and frequent, but that *should be* replaced with more of an emotional connection. When you have busy jobs, kids, and a life that never stops, you need that time to reconnect. In fact, this discussion inspired me last night... made sure the wife was taken care of.

Babyfer

good man, good man

Ryee

I've been following this thread since its inception, and I feel I finally have to comment. Prior to marriage our sex life was great. It was hot, steamy, and frequent. After marriage, it has drastically dropped off. Now it's around 3-4 times a week, and never on the same day. I know compared to most males, I should be happy that it's at least 3-4 times. But, I have the sex drive of a 16 year old and I feel I'm getting worse. It definitely does not help the wandering eye syndrom, that's for sure.
In my wife's case, I feel that it's work and stress related. She works long days, and feels the need to get everything else done around the house before sex. Which means, by the time everything is done she's too tired. Me on the other hand, if I've had a stressful day I'd rather have sex to relieve the stress. Then get everything else done.
Don't get me wrong, the sex is still good. Just less frequent, which is kind of frustrating for me.
However, on the video game comment, if I'm playing video games, guitar, or dinkin on the computer and my wife just looks at me in that way, I'm dropping everything and runnin after her.

CLPowersWife

I mean, call bs on it all you want, but the truth is that when he was playing poker, I could barely get him to look at me long enough to focus, and when he stopped, I can at least get his attention every now and then. There's been a SIGNIFICANT difference.

But I mean, maybe you were there?

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

I had a friend a while back that couldn't get past the first 6 months without cheating on his wife. So he'll agree with ya. I don't know if I buy that.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Damn you got issues. I work 2 jobs, spend an hour driving to work and an hour home everyday and have a bunch of other crap to do. Still never passed on some good quality time with the wife.

Mockenrue

I think you misunderstood me. I wasn't saying that your story was BS at all. I meant that it's a BS excuse for mot wanting sex. Maybe there was a correlation in your case, and I'm sorry about that. I'm just saying that adrenelane rushes from other sources do not necessarily slow down a sex drive. Some people tend to be even more frisky when they get the blood pumping.

That said, I've had a few points where I played too much online poker too. What I realized is that it was just taking too much of my rare spare time. It just hit me that it was pretty shallow compared to other things I could be doing. I've cut back, and now it's just an occasional fun thing.

doopstr

Does pot affect sex drive in a + or - way?

juniorbean

iTrader: (5)

That's a negative. I'm married, and I have no problem sexing my wife multiple times a week for the rest of my life.

If I didn't want to be with the same person all of the time, I wouldn't have gotten married.

juniorbean

iTrader: (5)

I play my X360 or PS2 sometimes for 1-2 hours before she gets home from work (I don't commute) if I have free time. I also play online poker once in a while. Plus, I have other things to do as well. When she comes home, games go off, whatever I'm doing is stopped, and I spend time with her whether it's eating dinner together, watching a show or movie together, just talking, or doing the horizontal mambo...

CLPowersWife

No, I did, you're right. I'm cranky today. Showering, and all.

Either way, I guess everyone is different; some people need more sex than others, I guess. Scott told me today that he hates me because I make it sound like he's a eunuch, but that's not it at all. We just have totally different schedules for horniness.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

I'll give away my XBox, computer and TV if it came between me and the wife sexing it up.

sasha

How about playing poker together and have sex right after the game while the adrenaline rush is still there?

DiveforTL-s

How about all you lazy a$$ game addicts throw away the BS games and give your wifes a reason to stay!?! It kills me to hear about people who would rather spend time playing Madden than playing with your wife!!! Are you all still in middle school? Nothing should stop you from pleasuring your wife when she needs it. I cannot really type how mad it makes me to hear this, I would have Mods kicking me off. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! No wonder there is no family unit or real love out there anymore. People would rather watch a box than interact with people!!! My wife never has to fight this computer or the TV for me and she knows she never will. People should come first. NOT plastic boxes. For all of you that need your Xbox or online gaming, GET A F-ING LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wstevens

That sounds hot. In this game or you Holly or Chaka?

ferizzo

funny, as I read this thread my wife writes me an IM telling me how much she misses making love to me (we are at two different schools right now).

Before she left for school though she would complain that we didn't have sex enough. part of it was me being tired/stressed. Sometimes I just wasn't in the mood. Now when we see each other I make it a point to take advantage of our time together.

zamo

I have discussed this issue with other 3 couples that reside in Peru, and they all confirm that my case is normal and my friends in FL are rare.

There is a difference tho. Peruvians usually have a 24x7 maid and/or nanny that takes care of the housekeeping tasks as well as the baby, so there are more chances for them to be relaxed before sleeping time.

I feel better now

wstevens

Meh. Peruvians are known for fucking, so you have skewed data.

Pushing_Tin

I'm not married yet, but my fiancee and I have been together for nearly 4 years now. Given the opportunity I would do her 7 days a week. And for the first 6 months that was the case. Now we have a house and live together and in my eyes I have become number 36 on the daily "to do" list. Some days she never gets to me and on the days when she finally gets to me it's always between 9-10pm, two nights a week. This was okay at first because it was still some sex, but now it feels like dusting, cleaning the windows, watching Dr Phil and plucking her eyebrows all have much more importance than showing me some physical affection, and that's what hurts the most.

Today I was out shopping and this very attractive MILF was totally hitting on me. And for the first time in several years the thought of cheating on my fiancee jumped into my mind.

Not good at all.

amisconception

Sounds like a scary place to be.

Think you can salvage it?

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

You need to have a talk with her. IMO, she doesn't see a problem because you probably never mad it seem that you're concerned about it. It's a much better conversation than having to explain to her why you slept with a MILF.

juniorbean

iTrader: (5)

I don't care how he tries to justify it... he's not in the norm... but then again.. some of the replies on here about how little it happens seems to not be normal either. So go figure...

Mockenrue

That's why it's not a good idea to stick with a regular schedule. Even if it means doing it less often, it's much worse if it's just a routine that has no emotion or urgency.

Pushing_Tin

I totally agree, but because of our schedules our time together is a bit limited. I don't see her at all 3 days a week. A little bit two days a week, but we share two full days off. I try and get her to do it at different times but she always has some other chore to do, or isn't in the mood and that's what gets frustrating for me.

Pushing_Tin

We've talked about it in the past, but not within the last 6 months. But until recently it hasn't bothered me as much as it does right now, and cheating had never crossed my mind.

Pushing_Tin

It's scary and depressing. I absolutely think it can be salvaged, but time will tell. It's sort of encouraging to see others will similar problems though.