yep, endlessly torchering themselves in the process and missing out on all the other great girls there are out there.

 

UPDATE... I spoke to her before. This is what happened.

MattT516 [6:06 PM]: hey... did my letter happen to show up yet?
Her [6:06 PM]: yes
MattT516 [6:06 PM]: interesting... alright
Her [6:06 PM]: i didnt wanna talk about it yet because i have alot of work to do an d i dont think it should be a short conversation
Her [6:07 PM]: and i dont have time for the long one id rather have
MattT516 [6:07 PM]: certainly not, whenever you have some time we could talk
Her [6:07 PM]: k sounds good - im about to go to dinner with my friend ill tty soon
MattT516 [6:07 PM]: alrighty

So what do you guys think? Am I putting myself up for a total letdown, or should I be hoping that she wants to have a long conversation so we could really get to talking about this?

 

i dont know.. that doesnt really sound promising

 

you're fucked. no girl can ever respect a guy that kisses her ass...writes gay letters...etc...be a dick to her and she'll be yours eventually.







edit: telll her the letter was a late april fools joke. tell her sorry, you're not into fat chicks.

 

In my experience, long conversations are bad. When doing something like this brevity is best.

Saying "I want to fuck your brains out," usually goes farther than "So, i've had these feelings about you for a long time... "

But that isn't a yes or no gurantee. Don't get your hopes up, but wait and see what happens.

 

Doesn't sound promising at all. It looks like she's about to give you friendship talk. When are you two supposed to talk. Who is this friend that she's going to dinner with? I would think that this letter would be something important and would take precedence. Looks like she might be gathering her thoughts.

Have you felt she has had an interest in you? I have female friends that I'm cool with and attracted to, but I know that getting serious with them wouldn't be the best option.

I think that you should not have written that letter and remained her friend. The friendship almost always outlast the relationship. Right now that she's in college, her mind is on alot of things. Seeing that she's a freshman, she's got a lot of growing up to do. I would hate for you to get wrapped up in her college life...cause college life is up and down. I would rather you two remain friends for now...someone she can come home to and chill with...then about in her senior year when hopefully you two are more stable, then you express to her that you want to take it to the next level.

Just my 2 cents.

 

Move on dude. You're her friend. And from what I can tell unfotunately you REALLY MADE HER UNCOMFORTABLE with the letter. Painted her into a corner, forced her hand, pushed her. Love just doesn't work like it does in the movies. People don't magically figure out "gee, I'm in love with this person and I didn't even know it."

There is something much more intimidating/serious with words written on paper. If it works out then great, if it doesn't well then great because at least you tried and did your best. This is a win/win situation.

All I can say is you don't deserve this kind of drama/emotional torture. Chalk this one up as experience and find somebody that will love you back. You can't make somebody love you, no matter how hard you try.

 

Sent a letter?

 

yea at least he didnt break up with her over AIM

 

^^^ Jesal, are you talking to yourself again?

 

looks like someone is postwhore

 

We told you not to send that letter...

 

kids...they don't listen.

 

Yeah, I was thinking about it last night and I realize I'm dead as a doornail. All I'm going to get when I speak to her is ''but we're such good friends, I don't want to ruin it'' and ''I just don't like you like that'' and shit like that. I'll probably start falling asleep halfway through the conversation. Oh well, I'm still hoping something positive will come out of it since we haven't spoken about it yet.

And hey, at least I took a shot at it, no matter how pathetic or overdone the shot was!

I'll just go out tonight, have about 7 too many drinks, and go on a girl hunt as I always do.

 

Yeah, letters are so 8th grade.

 

Matt,
See, you don't listen to girls. I gave you an advice in the earlier posts that perhaps you should spend the money and fly down there to see her. If you were my "good friend" and proceeded to send me a letter (or even worse) an email... I would certainly have done the same of what she did. "We need to talk". In other words, basically she is going to sit down and tell you how much she values this friendship and she is not ready at this stage of her life to "take the next step" with you. She will want to stay great friends with you, but perhaps if you had gone down there with a dozen of roses (or 2), I think she would have at least be so touched to decide to give you a chance.

Lots of luck to you

 

Good idea. The best way to forget about one is to find another.

 

for 200 bucks an hour I bet you could def forget about her.

 

Yup, all this while some guy named "Sergio" is givin her the high hard one.

 

Yup, still no sign of her for our talk, two days later. I love how I listened to this stupid bitch's stories about these losers and offered her advice for months and how she has badmouthed every girl I have been seeing since I met her, yet she doesn't give me the time to talk to me about this. I would hope she's actually considering, but I don't even give a flying fuck anymore. I made one of my best (girl) friends read the letter before I sent it and she said ''What a great letter, I'd be touched and forced to be with them if someone sent me a letter like that,'' maybe I should've sent HER the letter instead. Too bad I don't like her like that. The more I think about things like this, the more I really want to become an arrogant, insensitive asshole. Maybe I should start now...

I just finished a paper and I'm going to sleep, sorry I had to rant a little bit about this. Night.

 

Jeebus...you are only 18. :whybother:

 

true, but all girls are different.
I know for one that if someone went through all that, and I didnt want to be more than friends, i would be a bit freaked out. its a tad bit overboard for me.

 

hey! stop right there.
This is probably the exact reason she hasnt responded yet. youre already calling her a stupid bitch and that you should just become an asshole.

You didnt exactly give her something thats easy to deal with. If she doesnt want to be with you, she now has to find a way to say this to you without hurting you or the friendship

its been two days. call her directly and ask her what is going on.

and if it all goes bad, dont be fucking bitter about it. you knew the risks of trying to turn a friendship into a relationship and you cant start calling someone who is supposed to be your best friend a bitch because she isnt attracted to you in the same way.

and why become an asshole and treat other girls badly because of something that someone else did???

 

You're right. I was really tired last night and I started thinking and I got pissed off. I just base the fact that since she is my friend, she would have the decency to at least call me and let me know what's up. This is just really frustrating, I guess.

 

Never should have sent the letter. You definitely should have told her something like this in person. I hope things work out for you though.

 

Because, apparently, that's the only thing girls like...........

 

Because it works?

 

^ Yea, what those two said...

There is this woman that wants it from me, who I am not really that into, in that way...I'm always unavailable when she calls, all that kinda stuff...and she eats it up.

That said, its hard to get a woman to want it from you while being an asshole, but once that starts, its cake...I hate to say it, but it just works.

 

Unreal bro . Shouldn't say that shit, YOUR the one who CHOSE to listen to it! No one is "forced" to do anything. What I've learned is that there is better chance of hooking up BEFORE a good friendship starts, after that the chances are slim, unless they have a complete change of mind, but thats usually the lesser case. Just remember this for future reference.

I don't become "Really close friends" with chicks for I know that that decision could cockblock me in the future.
Also this doesn't leave me in one of these predicaments, if we were never really "really close" I have nothing to lose.

 

You learn well young padawan.

Seriously though, dont sweat it too much. Just learn from it and move on. And try not to get caught in the "friend zone" ever again.

 

Um, I got my answer. I was sitting online, I just said ''hello'' after she'd been online for a half-hour. Now, I mentioned the friend that she was hooking up with and he shut her down, well she decided to go to her formal with him as a friend. When I imed her, she gave me a ''Matt, I'm not in the mood to talk, I had a terrible weekend'', referencing her terrible weekend with the friend. Then, after realizing I'm not the asshole in this situation, she did the cowardly thing of breaking it down to me online, outdoing my original cowardly idea of writing a letter to a girl a thousand miles away.

ANSWER: She shut me down.

Among the classic and (let's face it) banal responses of girls in this situation:

MattT516 [10:45 PM]: hi
her [10:46 PM]: i realllllyl am not in the mood to talk now matt i had an awful weekend
MattT516 [10:47 PM]: alright, feel better then
her [10:47 PM]: matt
her [10:47 PM]: wait
MattT516 [10:47 PM]: yeah
Her [10:48 PM]: i cant really talk now but i know ur waiting for an answer from me
Her [10:48 PM]: i think that has been one of the sweetest letters ive ever gotten and i read it like 3 times
MattT516 [10:48 PM]: i meant every single word i said, to be honest
Her [10:48 PM]: i trust
Her [10:48 PM]: u
Her [10:49 PM]: i do need u and i do love having u but i really never thought of it as more than friends
Her [10:49 PM]: and even though i cherish our friendship and ur company i dont really see it as destined to be more or at least not at this ppoint
Her [10:49 PM]: but it doesnt mean u have to be embarrassed or pretend u never wrote it

There's more but that's pretty much the idea. I have some numbers left in my wallet, I'm not sweating it. But call me crazy, but I think this girl will be coming around faster than I know it. Not like I'm going to sit it out or anything, I got no time to waste.

Thanks for your help guys. In the end I'm kinda glad that I wrote the letter, because I really don't think it would've made a difference if I said it in person. I think it would've just been more disappointing if I got shut down face-to-face. Oh well, at least I still got my friendship with this girl, I think.

 

damn dude I know your kinda bummed, I don't blame you, but you got balls for taking the plunge. Props