No not me thank goodness.

My cousin after I think like 15 years. One of my friends after I think 5 or 6. Ok only 2 but they came out of nowhere.

Cousin has 2 kids around 10-12. Husband makes good money so she didn't have to work. When we'd have family parties she'd be the most hammered and always wanting to go out with my sister and cousin(single) and have a good time. He was low key and a little older than her and wanted to just chill and rest. They even had a 10 year anniversary where they renewed their vows. They just finished fixing up the house with major work. Apparently she hooked up with a trainer or owner at the small gym she goes to. You can tell by her Facebook messages wall (anyone can see that's her "friend") that something was going on. He found out that they slept together and he filed. Now she has to work again to support herself all because she wanted to party.

My friend moved to another city so I rarely hear from him but he called me the other day and told me. It was a lot of arguing and resentment over careers vs relationship. What sucks is he got married a month after us and had a kid around the same time we had our first. Fortunately they're amicable and have a great relationship.

 

Im currently working at a psycholigist office and overheard them talking to a 6 year old girl about mommy and daddy's divorse. Heartbreaking....My marriage is not doing so well these days either though, I need to shape up

 

Living in the 21st century doesn't make it easy to maintain a long relationship. Times have changed since the "old days". Many reasons can attribute to this, envy, jealousy, greed, infidelity, stress and the list can go on.

 

sometimes you gotta eat out

 

Couples used to work in the same place, the family farm, store or workshop. Now everyone works anywhere from 5 miles to 50 miles away from their spouses and spend all their day with strangers who usually aren't neighbors.

 

Sucks but I am sure the economy isn't helping. Money has got to be one of the biggest if not the biggest cause of divorce

 

What was she putting on there? Oh, and good for him for dumping her.


I've been hearing a lot about couples that me and/or my siblings and friends know that are getting divorces.

All of them married too young, which I think is a big reason for a lot of failed marriages.

 

Relationships end for a lot of reasons, but I think a relatively small percentage end because of things beyond their control. I believe most of them end because of decisions made by individuals, not external forces. So I'm not a big fan of "blaming the times". The times we live in make it easier for people to seperate when in bad relationships because we have more options. In the "good old days", I think people just suffered in bad relationships and stayed to gether because there weren't many, if any, viable alternatives.

However I do think that selfishness has been on the rise in America for decades, which is the enemy of all relationships. When you start valuing something or someone else over your relationship, it's the beginning of the end. I think a lot of relationships end just because one or both people involved decided it's just not as important as their friends, or their job, or their good times. It's sad and often tragic, but often traces back to the choices we make.

 

I think it's actually more of a function of maturity (i.e. can you make good decisions) than youth. However, being young and immature go hand in hand most of the time, but there are young people with the maturity to handle marriage, and 40-somethings that still don't.

 

Agree. I should've added the maturity disclaimer when I posted that

 

You know. I never used to believe in a pre-nup. Even while attending law school and while practicing for the first few months at my firm, I always had this mentality that a pre-nup is a symbol of doubt. Kind of a "insurance policy" in case the relationship doesn't work out.

Off topic I know, but I too have a friend who is going through the same thing. He's a working professional, his wife stays at home. I guess the "stay at home" part made her bored and she started to have lunch dates with an old high school boyfriend... at hotels.

They've been married for a few years, homes and other properties purchased during the marriage and well... CA is a community property state so he's pretty much losing half of everything.

The funny/ironic thing is, that they met at Church, and they got fed the same crap I did about how a pre-nup is "entering a relationship with the mentality it will end."

 

^if she cheated on him shouldn't that be a good case for him even though its community property she isn't entitled to the property because she stop beyond that boundry.

 

Mother f-ckin werd. I always subscribed to the idealistic belief that "when" I was ready to get married, I wouldn't have an iota of doubt that I was going to spend the rest of my life with this woman. That my fiancee would be resentful of a pre-nup arrangement. My parents have been together for almost 40 years so they set a good example but now that I'm in my 30s I'm seeing a handful of friends already on their 2nd marriage and I've dated a couple of women who were divorced (no kids though).

My friends sarcastically describe failed first marriages as "starter marriages".

HI is a community property state and has a divorce rate higher than the national average.

Sad to say but good thing my patient is the top divorce attorney in town.

"Ironclad Prenup" FTMFW. No chick is going Heather Mills-McCartney on my ass

 

I didn't hang out with her a lot so I have no idea what she was doing. I really only see her at family get togethers. She did marry young at like 22 and she's like mid 30's now. Probably the whole "I didn't get to live my life" BS.

 

Still though, don't prenups cover only assets/possessions acquired before the marriage? If these homes were purchased during the marriage wouldn't that mean they are fair game to be split 50/50 even if they had a prenup?

 

Exactly. PRE-nup.

 

Glad I'm single. I'm sorry to hear about the relationship issues in here, hope everything works out for you guys.

 

my exgirlfriends parents were on the verge on splitting because her dad was out of a job for a good 5 months and her mom who is a nurse had to start working longer hours. she was getting fed up that he hadnt found a job yet and when i would ask her how her parents are doing she said that her dad had to get a room at a hotel because her mom didnt want her there.

my other exgirlfriends mom was a whore who i believe cheated all the time on her husband, the fucked up part is that the mother raised her four children (3 of whom were males) to believe that men are just sperm donors and contribute nothing to life and are all horrible.



Fuck i have dated some fucked up women

 

They all have issues, honestly.

 

You'll get yours in the future.

 

shit

 

Pshh...what are you talking about you got a baby on the way you just don't know it yet. Movie slut found a way to keep you around forever

 

naw i let the kids out on her face

 

I wasnt a firm believer in pre-nups when I was in high school, but now I wont get married if the girl doesnt want one.

with all the sh*t going down nowadays, its not a bad idea to cover your assets acquired before the marriage. and it is also a good thing to "take what's rightfully and legally yours" during the marriage should it dissolve. a marriage here in CA (iirc) is nothing more than a business between two individuals (at least in concept).

its pre-nup or bust.

 

That's pretty much how it is in the grand scheme of things brotha. Well, if you add "ATM" to "sperm donor" you'd be more accurate

 

"Pre-nup" is short term for "Pre-nuptial agreement." I.E, a pre marital agreement.

Pre-nups do not only cover assets/possession before marriage - those are legally still the property of whoever acquired them, unless ownership of those properties are changed during the marriage to the ownership of both husband and wife.

Pre-nups will usually contain terms which basically says "While we are married, everything I earn is mine, what you earn is yours. What I buy with my money is mine, what you buy with your money is yours." It can get a little sticky if there's a pre-nup and people buy things and put it both in the name of Husband and Wife, but generally if you can trace were the funds came from, it'll be the property of whoever bought it.

 

Sadly, this is becoming too common. The divorce rate has to be going up since it's been 50% for the last 20 years.

For those of you talking about pre-nups, they only help if you actually have assets worth protecting. It was never discussed with my wife and I but we both already owned property. For other reasons, we both quitclaimed each other's property, so it was almost like a post-nup.

Sad about the girl. You care to be more specific on your situation?

 

Too much to type now...

 

And also one of the biggest reasons people that should not stay together do. Same goes for "we're staying together for the kids" excuse. Children need a loving environment. Two people staying together that don't love each other anymore is not good for them.

You can be damn sure that when I get married again there'll be a prenup. They cover not just assets but describe in detail what the whole divorce process will entail.
I just finalized my divorce. She had an attorney who recognized that tb was a well and dragged the whole process out as long as she could. We even had all the court dates set which was ridiculous because we didn't own anything but the house. No IRA's, investments, nothing. It should have been real simple. My atty got phone calls two days before all the court dates asking to settle. Of course by this time all the billable hours prepping for a trial have been accumulated.
It wound up costing me over 50K to no longer be legally bound to this woman. That will not happen again. My next divorce will be complete before I marry my next ex-wife.


Say something romantic tonight. Just out of the blue.

People change. That's a fact. I'm not the same person I was fifteen years ago, and neither is she. If it's not working anymore, if the spark isn't there anymore, then get out. But don't confuse lust for someone else as the reason.

 

If you feel like it and have the time, type away.

Regardless, I hope everything works out.

 

Thanks....Its a combination of stuff, but Its still me drinking here and there....

 

No. It is an agreement usually showing some intent to keep everything separate even while married. Can also serve to show that there was always an intent to keep prior separate property separate. Gets a little fuzzy with some assets but usually they work well

Edit: See BraveDemon's answer