Are any of you in a long distance relationship? Or have you been involved in a long distance relationship? How do you keep the spark alive? I'm looking for ideas to keep interest level up--

Please share some of your stories or ideas--

 

They dont work-atleast in my case

 

What he said

 

I believe they work for a relatively short period of time...but if its long distance for an indefinite time period I would agree that it won't work--

My current situation leaves us apart for the next 8-9 months...seeing each other at least one weekend a month and all holidays--

So i do believe they can work if both parties are equally involved...it does require alot of effort...and that is why I am seeking ideas--

 

I've been in 3 long distance relationships in my past and non have worked out..

 

I think it depends on how committed the two parties are. My wife and I were apart for almost 18 months while she was out of the country before we got married. There were some bumps in the road, but it worked out in the end.

 

I am in a long distance relationship, me in Seattle, her in Boston... We've only seen each other a couple of times a year and so far its been great, there are bumps in the road but if you both are committed to each other it will work. Luckily this long distance will end if all goes well, as she will be moving closer to me in a couple of months. We've been doing this for a 14 months already.

 

My future wife went to college far from me....So I moved in...

 

i am in a long distance relationship. me in wisconsin, her in germany. we have been doing it since march 06 (when i left germany). we are both very committed. she has been here 3 times and i there 1 time. she is coming again in dec. we see each other about every 4 months, give or take a couple months. i have a 4 year old son, so it makes it harder for me to go there. my ex n i were seperated when we (my current gf n i) met. she knew coming into this relationship i was in no hurry to get remarried. we talk on the phone everyday and that helps and we do the occasional web cam chat. it definitely is not easy, but we know this will ultimately work out. you have to be dedicated and you have to know it will work. if you think it won't work, then in won't! best wishes

 

webcam can be your best friend for the next 8-9 months

 

Thanks for all the responses--

It is hard but we are making the best we can in our current situation...

I should have stated this to begin with...I'm looking for new ideas that I can do...such as writing letters, sending flowers, & gifts....for lack of better words...doing something cute for her...what do you do for your significant other from afar?

 

It will probably work for a couple months, but it gets old fast. 2 sets of friends did it for a couple years. One set broke up. The other got married. But they were always travelling back and forth until he eventually moved. If he didn't, I think they would have broken up.

I would say that communication is the most important thing in that situation. Flowers, etc will only work for so long if you can't talk.

 

I think it depends on how dedicated you are... for those of you that had relationships that were long distance and they ended poorly you can't say that distance was the only thing that doomed the relationship.

By that same thinking you could say that because you've had numerous close-distance relationships that ended bad, those never work either.

Just remember you don't want to go too far out of your way like you're desperate by doing stuff too often, or stuff that's too 'cute' - don't change how you act towards her just cuz there's distance. That being said tho just honestly do what you feel like doing? It will mean more if you do something nice for her that you know she'll like instead of just something someone else did for their SO. It's all about tailoring what you do to the person... not just the action itself

 

and yeah like Ravi said - it's all about the communication, I talk almost every day with my SO who's about 5 hours away from school, and we see each other once a month, or every other weekend so that helps..

 

I had 3 long distance relationships that lasted for 3 years (the last year was when we had the long distance), 2 years (last year as well), and 11 months (last 6 months). I was optimistic in each case , but if you can't be with the person regularly, you tend to grow apart.

I think LDRs only work if you both commit to make time to be with one another every 1-2 weekends (at least), especially if you are sure that you want to marry the person.

 

My current relationship was long distance for long stints. We just made an effort to talk to each other regularly, but we are both very independent and so we always had our own things to do and never relied on the other for companionship. As other have said, there were bumps in the road, but we made it through and finally managed to stay in the same city.

So long distance can work as long as the two people involved have the right personalities and are willing to be committed to the relationship. I have never been happier, honestly, and I would not have traded any of my experience for a shorter distance relationship.

 

+1
My Lady lives in Atlanta and I live in Chicago. We've been together a year now and things are great. We met through my sister who used to live there for 5 years. She was one of her friends. I'll save the long but very good story on how we met...all that matters to me is that there's only one of her. Doesn't matter if she lives in Atlanta, LA, Chicago, New York, London etc.

There can never be another woman like her out there and that's what I love about her so much. She is so beautiful (she models), kind, funny, awesome personality and on top of that she's a very smart (entrepreneur) and compassionate person. We talk everyday, see each other about 1x a month and things are awesome between us. The deal will be closed in 2 years my friend

Let me ask you this clarky, how did you 2 meet? Are you in a relationship now and just curious, what are your thoughts about this woman and how long have you 2 been together? What are her thoughts about you and the relationship? If you are in one, what do you 2 plan to do say 2-5 years from now? Do you believe she's the one?

 

For those with the bumps in the road.. more like in the road.. IMO long distance relationships don't work.

 

Yeah they pretty much suck. We've been at it for a long time and I feel like i've been coasting along in cruise control for the last 2 years and going nowhere with the relationship because I have no idea when she's gonna move here. We do see each other every other weekend or so, and email/text during the day. But we don't really talk on the phone much.

 

how far apart will you two be???

 

you can do what you want cause it's your life. but there was a girl i went with she went to college in NC and i'm here in Ohio.
i saw her 3 times in the course of a year.one of the worst years of my life. turned a lot of dates down cause i was "dating" this chick. and it's not that i'm a player just it sucks cause like on saturday nights when she was home before she went to college we'd go out. which was cool but once she started school that ended.
i finally got tired of sitting home on saturday nights. plus there was other bull shit going down that pissed me off why we broke up.
i guess it's okay as last ditch resort. but keep the options open.

 

We have known each other for about 6 years...we started working together on a summer job...so we were friends and co-workers every summer throughout my college career...i would go off to college every year and we would keep in touch...but we were never exclusive...

Fast forward a couple years...we both had a significant other and were very unhappy in our current situations...both relationships soon ended and we were both single...we had always wanted to be together and decided the timing was right...so we started dating exclusively about 7 months ago..and things have been going very fast...however we are 5 hours apart...she is in her last year of college and will be graduating in may...and will move here with me following that...I believe she is the one--

 

6 years ago I lived in virginia and began talking to a girl online. (I've met my share of girls online and then finally met in public and a couple were nice but moth were just for fun and formed great friendships, Plus 6 years ago I was still only 18 so it was just a fun stage of my life) Well anyway we were both just looking for a friendship and as things progressed I surprised her by coming to visit her christmas night. Well many long road trips to/from VA/NJ I'm pleased to report we're happily married with a four year old.

Long Distance relationships do work and if you both want it bad enough you can make it happen!

 

Good luck.

FWIW, I married the only woman with whom I had a LDR for about two years- she was in Sacramento and I was/am in Los Angeles- 1-hour plane ride or 7-hour drive.
We've been married for over a decade and although we have lived together since marriage, she hasn't served me with divorce papers yet...

 

Yeah she's just spending your money and cheating on you..

 

^^ Hey now, that's harsh. Glad to hear it Will Y and I wish you many more years of happiness. My communte to NJ from VA was a 6 hour drive but each time I made it to her house it made it all worth it! Leaving to go back home was always the worse though

 

I was only kidding gosh

 

I knew there was something wrong here!

Wait, I don't have any money for her to spend...

 

i'm currently in a long-distance relationship.

my gf lives 2.5 hours away, and we've been together for just over 3 years. the relationship started as long distance, and yea, it was tough and difficult at time. but i agree that the key is communication. we talked and still talk at least once a day, although the phone conversations are a lot shorter now than they used to be when we started dating.

since she doesn't live too far, we've been able to see each other on weekend. maybe 2-3 weekends a month.

and +1 on LDR's working if both parties are committed.

 

it can work if you want to. My wife and I did it for three years. I lived in the midwest, she lived in Philly

We got together about every six weeks, usually for a three-day weekend

We used the 800 number in her firm on weekends

We wrote a lot. Would be email and text messages now.

I moved back to Phillly to faciliate things, grew tired of the distance, and moved into an apartment in the same buildind as my gf and her son. A year later, after her divorce was finalized, we got married.

It can work if you want to. The biggest issue is the loss of casual time together.... just talkign with someone at the end of a nasty day, sending out for pizza, stuff like that. it got lonely, and tiresome. But for me, it was worth it. We've been married for 22 years now.

 

You married someone from Philadelphia? What the hell is wrong with you? lmao only kidding. It's always good to hear how other couples had successful long distance relationships

 

Some long distance relationships work, some dont.. That's the only correct answer. I was in one for 4 years, only saw her a few times a year - it just depends on your patience.

 

I think it depends on both parties and how dedicated they are to one another. me and my so are not so good at it. he thinks its okay to hang out and get drunk all the time and talking to me through text messages. in the long run, it doesn't look good. you guys have to make serious commitment to one another if it is going to work. i have seen many relationships get stronger with distance, and others fall apart. it all depends on the individuals involved. you have to figure out what works for you and make a strong commitment to try.