This is kinda funny, well i find it somewhat funny.

Anyways i just realize AZ has this type of threads. Been part of the forums for a while just not a big poster. Partly its because im active duty military. So why someone in the military post in a this thread? Call it stereo typical, call it how it is.

A friend of mine said "you know how it is, the easiest girl to seduce is the lonely girlfriend of a deployed soldier". I guess that put the tone of this thread.

I'm part of an Air Control Squadron. We deploy every year. Sometimes we deploy twice a year. So after this past deployment... well it was horrific. One too many ramp ceremonies, too much moving and too little communication. When i left we were fine. "Can't wait to see you when you get back, Miss you, blah blah blah". So as the months roll by, there i am standing on that plane waiting. Everyone was crazy, "see my wife!?! thats my boy he got my hair" the new daddies got of first and then us. Step out of the air plane and was looking. looking for a good min. then boom, janet said she was late and couldn't get on base.

A breath of fresh air? My anchor? Its like the feeling where that nice warm ocean breeze just hit you at the right spot. Thats what it was like when i saw her. They gave us flowers as we got off the plane so we can give it to our love ones. I took 12. two deployments, for a total of 12 months. Tried to give it to her but instead just nearly raped her on the streets. Its a feeling i just can't describe. Just telling myself that this is going to be the one. That was day one.

The next day we couldn't spend it together because she's finishing her last year for her BA. Lots of phone calls, lots of texting. Nothing is wrong, she's the one.

Day three we inprocess back into the base. Long gruelling, lots of shots and lots of blood taken. Her birthday is tomorrow. Having lunch with the guys, korean. great food. At the stop light. shoot the shit...and then OH SHIT!
The senior citizen wasn't able to stop his car. He swerved into our lane and hit us head on. Totalled my tsx. few bruised ribs, seat belt marks. But after being spun 180 degrees, got to say acura made some pretty safe cars.

Her bday... high on vicoden, she hasn't seen me since the accident. not even at the hospital. i called her telling her i can't make it. was hoping she would come to me for a private one on one celebration. she had dinner with friends.

Next day, got my rental, still hurting like crazy. high on pain killers. Took the drive to go suprise her. She didn't come home till like 11pm. She didn't notice the flowers that were on the table. walked in, she wasn't surprised to see me... well more like... i didn't get the reaction i was looking for. i didn't get the "omg what are you doin here why arent you in bed". instead it was more like the "oh shit...what the hell are you doing here?!" spent the night at her place... didn't get any.

Made plans to go to the movies the next day. went back home to change and everything. text her for times for the movie. She said check my email.... this is for the ladies.... why.. why in the world...i mean how the hell do grow balls to break up with someone over email. called her and asked her whats going on. she said she can't see me anymore... that i wasnt with her enough. that i didn't care and didn't show my emotions enough. i guess its true i'm never there. we argued i pleaded. Finally face to face. talked. just wanted an explaination. said the same thing... i didn't get it. i told her if you were going to do this why didn't you just do when i was in iraq. that way i didn't have to come home to this bullshit. this is great right here. funny. "what you mean... i kepted my promise right? i came to see you when you got back."..."so the only reason you didn't break up with me while i was in iraq was to keep your promise. soooo you did that just so you can say "i kepted my promise"." at that point i was done. don't talk to me. don't see me. don't text me, don't mail me. nothing. The waterworks was on. pretty heavy. Told her i didn't understand what she's doing. if shes so hurt and crying then why are you dumping me. then i asked her out of the blue. didn't even think about it. just asked her. "who is he?" i'm not a jealous person. i trusted her 100%. but when those words came out... she just crumbled. she deny it. but i asked if you didnt' then why are you crying so bad, why can't you look at me. then it was just pure anger. she wanted to be friends. she still cared for me. her tears of guilt on my shoulder and hands. this is me comforting her while i was the one that got dumped..... "who is he?"... she still denies it.. maybe it was just one night.

damn this is long.... sorry guys. i just need to get it out of me. friends been bringing me out too much. three days in a row. drinking too much. i think i just needed to write everything out. sorry for the long post. and if you did read everything thanks for reading. honestly i don't know what i'm trying to get out of this.

 

There were red flags everywhere and I think you already started to feel how cold she has been since you got back home, yet you chose to make excuses for her. Sometimes, you just have to listen to your gut.

Anyway, I'm really sorry about how things turned out. Hope you'll find the answers you are looking for. But then again, maybe it's just best to let it go.

 

jesus man, i would of lost my mind on her, thats so messed up. and breaking up by email is so dumb and immature

 

I don't know bout excuses, red flags i see them now i guess. i mean its like wow... it all happened not just a few weeks ago. But at that time you know, the only thing that i was thinking about was that i was glad to be back and that i have someone waiting for me. Just blindsided.

 

Damn, I've hear too many horror stories similar to yours. Sorry to read about this, bro.

Welcome Home.

 

That's understandable. You were just happy to be back home and looking forward to reunite with her. I get that...

By the way, how long were you guys together before you got deployed?

 

Thanks man. Yea, just didn't think i would be one of them. Those wall of shame just keep getting bigger every year man.

 

We were together 2 years. 12 months of that i was deployed.

 

Oh wow... so you were in a long distance relationship for a year. That's rough. Hang in there!

 

thanks. theres nothing left but to move on right?

 

Sorry man, I guess that's why all the others knock up their women before they deploy.

 

Fuck man, Im so sorry to hear that. But I gotta give it to you, you are a better man than I am, I couldnt possibly hold my composure if I was in your shoes. I think the smart thing to do now is just let that go, get it out of your head, she's not worth your time. Peace.

 

its cool man. but about knocking them up.... if you think that'll stop them.. oooo noooooo


Not sure if anyone else is from utah. If there is i would like to ask what in the hell is wrong with utah women??? its 3:01AM mountain time right now and i've just got done with my shift on suicide watch. Poor newbie got his heart broken. His story is worse than mine... maybe we should just stay away from utah females.... just damn.

 

Move on, she's not worth your time, she's a coward for trying to break up with you after a year, over email, after you were in a car wreck, obviously she doesn't care for you, and only cares about herself. Especially if there's someone else in the picture, time to find a new girl man. Sorry to hear about the situation, but glad you're home safe, Welcome home

 

^^^



I would have to say it is time to move on. If she can't be grown up enough to face you and has to break up over e-mail, then she's already gone.

As for thinking it's another guy....that's a normal reflex. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. Either way, the relationship is not working.

Good luck.

 

Its hard man, but you have to move on.

I shudder to think of how that must have felt...breaking up sometimes can be the worst feeling...

 

All in all, I think you're handling it pretty well, probably better than I would have. Stay strong, there are other good ones out there.

 

I feel yah man. I heard this from a friend:

cry me a river, build a bridge, and get the fck over it.

 

Wow....thats wild.

I hope everything works out for you. Judging from how you say she acted when she broke up with you...it doesnt really seem like she was totally sure about dumping you in the first place. I think theres still light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to get her to open up and tell you exactly whats going on with her. Thats the only way you two will get past this. Shes hiding something.....it has to come to the surface. You invested 2 years into this woman....you cant let her off that easy! Go back and get closure or get your woman...whatever happens..make sure your not left with ANY questions about you and her.

Good luck.

 

I'm a former Navy wife so I think I can speak from experience here too. If you've never been through this stuff you have no idea what it's like to try to keep a relationship together in this situation. It's damn near impossible. The majority of stories end up like this and I have heard thousands of them. I was lucky enough to only have to go through one 6 mo deployment because I truly, honestly don't know if I could have done it again. We are only human and the need for affection is a driving force. I think the women (and men) who are able to get through it are those that have a lot, a lot of family support. Without that, all is lost.

A suggestion, don't date local girls. Go home on leave and meet a nice girl from your home town. Make a connection. Don't date some local skank who hangs out by the base just looking to meet a military guy so she go shopping at the commissary and keep getting pregnant to get more military benefits, all the while bangin' Jody while you're away.

On a final note, don't forget the door swings both ways. Stay away from the hookers, strippers and local natives who will do just about anything for a pack of cigarettes. I know all about that little saying you guys have about "what happens overseas, stays overseas." Don't expect your girl to be Miss Chastity while you're getting "loved long time." It takes a massive amount of commitment to make a loving relationship work in the military. Good luck finding the right one. Meanwhile, enjoy your time off, hang with the guys, take care of yourself first and foremost. The rest will fall into place when the time is right.

 

Keep your chin up bro. Time heals all wounds. That's majorly f-cked up to deal with that shit after getting back from 1 year in Iraq. I'm sure you kept her as a light at the end of the tunnel to get you through being in that hellhole. You handled the breakup with maturity and like a man and her loss is another woman's gain. There's lots of girls out there, you have a good head on your shoulder, just hang out with the boys and take it day by day. At least you found this shit out know rather than after you tied the knot or had children

 

thanks guys for all the replies. i dunno i guess an outside perspective is good. and to sara, she wasn't anywhere near base. She's a pretty good girl. Like i said i don't know if its in a moment of weakness or something i dunno. If anyone was stationed in korea it reminds you of all those korean guys that do mandatory service. Go in with a girl and come back out only to find she's with another person, a lot of the time with his best friend. I had a KATUSA friend that had that happen to him.

so right now i'm just keep myself occupied with other things. namely my new baby that i'm in love with

 

Type-S FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congrats on the new car. You'll love it!

 

Nice Alero, and good luck!

 

goddam, sory to hear about that story. that made me feel inside. i haven't been through anything as rough as that but i guess all i can say is you now have an awesome car! love it, cherish it, wash it 2x a week to keep your mind off her and go find a new chick. they will <3 you and your car

 

yah thanks! freakn acura owners blocking my shots