This girl that I really like, the only one whom I've really cared about in the last 3 years... I met her when I was in Chicago this past summer, and we've become good friends. But on top of that, she knows that I like her, more than just as a friend. we've talked about it, and she basically tolld me that she just wants to be friends for now, becuase she's been hurt too mayn times in the past and whatnot. Then she asked me if I were sitll interested even after she tolld me this, and I told her that I still was, and that whenever she would be up for it, I would be there.

Today, I was talking to her, and she goes... "hey, I haven't told many poeple about this yet, but since you're one of my good friends.... my boyfriend is flying in from L.A. today."


I just froze for a while, shocked out of my mind. I didn't know what to say. I can't desribe what I felt. I mean, I really don't have any right to get mad, sad, or have any emotions about this, becaseu we were never really serious or anything. But I felt so pathetic for some reason. So I bought some vodka and I've been drinking wiht my friends all evneing. Fuck this, man. Seriously. I hate my life.

 

Damn doode that sucks...

just look at this way, theres more hoes out there and more worthy then her.

so F da hoe

jk the last part

 

That sucks, man. I have to say though that it's strange for her to be 'secretive' about her bf coming to town. Why should it be hush-hush? Fishy...

 

once a girl considers you a friend your pretty much out of teh running for any relationship with her.... sad but true..

 

Sorry to hear that, that sucks! You need a virtual hug.

It's not going to make you feel any better, but being annoyed and irrational, I almost dumped my bf tonight. Which I would have deeply regretted.

 

She must have either liked you or been confused to withhold such info from you. Don't worry, there are other women out there.

 

Brother, I don't think theres a guy on earth who hasn't had that one girl who he was totally into reject him cause she "just wanted to be friends". I know I did. My only advice to you would be to get over her and move on. I would bet money that you've treated this girl like a queen for the last few months, and that this boyfriend of hers threats her like shit. But guess what, unfortunately girls (at least younger ones) tend to gravitate towards the assholes. That saying "nice guys finish last", that applies here. My only advice to you, as hard as it may seem, is to get over her and move on. Might be tough since you really care about her. But trust me, a few years from now, when you've found someone else, and you look back, your gonna laugh at this girl and kick yourself for even wasting your time with her.

 

i wouldnt stress over it rob, take it easy mang

drinking away your problems is just gonna cause more

 

Happy to report that I did not get destructive tonight. (I've been known to get out of control when I'm wasted on vodka.) I just drank a lot, and hung out around the house.




You guys are probably right. But I don't want to forget about her and move on. I would rather remain as friends than just shut her out of my life or whatever.

God, I'm such a pussy. I couldn't even tell her how I felt. Instead I told her that I was happy for her, that he sounds like a great guy, and that I hope everything works out well for her. I mean, I meant it, but I couldn't even tell her the rest of my story.

My point is that, she could've found other ways to tell me this shit. She knows I like her, and I think it was quite possibly the worst way for her to tell me this. But I don't hate her or anything. I'm not mad at her. But I really am mad at myself. Nobody else to blame but myself.

 

word. Get up and move on.

 

Like the band Cake once sang...

"Coming from you, Friend is a four letter word"

Junkster, who hopes the drinking makes Pure feel better

 

wow that's one of the worst pains in the world... total ball in your throat, just your heart drops... sorry to hear you had to experience that man

Just stay composed and mature, nothing to really learn, you tried your best and were honest with yourself about your emotions and who you wanted to share them with. Since she's taken, keep your eyes open for the next great girl who comes along Best of luck man and don't get down on yourself for something she neglected to mention. Sometimes games are played, people are drawn on, some girls/guys like to have attention and that's one way in which they can get it. Not your fault she played your mind, just keep your head up and move on

BTW, good move on telling her you're glad for her, he's a great guy, etc... shows your maturity in this situation. Personally, I wouldn't turn around and tell her how you are hurt, feeling deceived, etc. as that will only empower her more (if she's playing with you). I think you handled it just fine (minus the whole drink to get drunk to deal with it). Just keep your eyes open for the next great girl to come along and let this girl know you're not desperate

 

I would've told her how you really felt, pissed.

 

The kiss of death..."Friends"

 

yea... but who knows, let's say her bf turns into an ass, cheats on her (long distance relationship), then guess who's next in line

 

That's very mature of you.

 

Read this site.

www.laddertheory.com

It will exlpain what happened to you and what you need to do. It will do you a lot of good.

In short - You will never get in her pants. Cut off all contact with her.

 

Exactyly what I was thinking...Play it cool, odds are you will get another chance.

 

Thanks, everyone. Your advice means a lot to me.

I don't plan on cutting off contact with her. If anything, she's a good friend and I would rather keep the friendship.


AB -- I'll read up on that. Thanks.

 

Sorry to hear that. Sounds like you're the "emotional tampon". If you like her more than friends and she doesn't share that.. time to move on. You *may* get another chance, but you won't likely get it by sticking around listening to her

I know, it sucks.

Her: "My bf is flying in from LA"
you: "that's nice. I hope you have a good time. Gotta go." Click

end conversation.

 

Not him. It'll be some random dude who she met a week before she broke up with her boyfriend.

 

Awesome.










Damn, this sucks. Drunken night #2 here I come.

 

ummm .... Jesus???

 

I hope I get over this shit quickly, because I feel like poo. We're having a party at the house, and there's like a hundred beautiful ladies here, yet they all look the same to me.

Cheers to another shitty night.

 

stop wanting a girl you cant have, then the rest will be a peice.

 

He can hold his breath...we will call him "Blue Boy"

 

exactly.

 

shitty deal pure i feel for you dood!!!! i mean how hs she never told you about him till he is on his way out there. i mean most peoples friends that are close to them know of their b/f or g/f. like sasha said its kinda fishy. tha dood must not mean very much to her is she just NOW told you about him. there is a reason that she didnt tell you like she didnt want to scare you away by saying she has a b/f... girls a fukn psyco dood us males will never figure them out....shit they cant every figure out them selves

 

she was probably considering breaking up with this guy, things were getting shaky/on the rocks in her relationship, so she probably chilled with you alot, and then right as it was going to happen he decides to fly in (noticing his poo-tang is in danger) and she goes back to her old ways.

go have a good time with other women man, you'd be surprised what an "educated" woman can do for your depression