i've been friends with this guy for a long time now, and we dated briefly a couple years ago. We were young and immature and things didn't work out. We stopped talking for awhile, but eventually we couldn't continue not being friends. We started talking again, and after several extremely long talks, we're closer than ever. Problem is, we both still have feelings for each other. It's very obvious how we both feel and for awhile we just ignored it. Finally, I confronted him about it and suggested that perhaps we could try again and take things slow. He told me that he one, doesn't want to screw things up, and two, isn't sure if even wants a girlfriend. It feels like we might as well be dating though anyways. He calls almost every night just to say hi, we hang out whenever possible, and if we watch a movie or even just chill on a couch we end up cuddling. Depsite this, and how much we have in common, and despite how much fun we have together, he's afraid of something or just doesn't want to date me. Not being conceited, but I don't see why. We seem so good together and there is alot of chemistry. I don't think he's leading me on, since he's not getting anything out of it (we don't do anything sexual) and I know him better than that. Ultimately, I want to have him as a friend than as nothing at all, and I guess I need to get over him because thats all we're gonna be. Easier said than done though you know? I know I'm stupid for having feelings for him, when he's told me that he doesn't want a girlfriend, so I don't need to be reminded if anyone replies. I guess I really don't have a question, just needed to vent. Thanks.

 

How old are you 2? 18?

 

i'm 19...yea, i know i sound stupid..i think i already said that...can't really help the way you feel, even when you know you shouldnt

 

I understand that, but what I was getting to was that it sounds like you two both don't know what you want...

Feelings suck... i'm only 21... and I've dealt with similar b.s....

I think the thing best to do is just forget about it... move on... it's already some other weirdness... I think you'll eventually end up sleeping together... wtf is up with this cuddle business? Maybe he's just scared...

You're too young, forget about it... have some fun!

 

Then again, my opinion is pretty UNQUALIFIED

 

lol...we just "cuddle" because the "label" we have is just friends..i know eventually things will work out one way or the other...i'll either move on and be happy..or perhaps things could work out...you never know...i'm still looking for other people..i'm smart enough not to wait around and hold my breath for him for something that may never happen..but it still sucks now..lol..i feel like such a dweeb..but maybe its good for me to get it all out and see how stupid the whole thing really is

 

Eh...just take it slow...if it's good(whatever you're doing), keep doing it.

Your young enough to "waste" some time having fun with someone you like. If it doesn't work out in a couple of months, so what...you enjoyed yourself.

 

heh... you sound cool about it all, that's good

I still don't understand the cuddling! I don't cuddle with my friends that's something else...

 

Or you were in a lot of pain.

 

yea, its only him i cuddle with..not like its what i do with all my friends lol..i don't really understand it either..it just happens..and its not like an everyday thing either..just like if we watch a movie on the couch or something

 

BTW - You're not an idiot

 

thanks

 

Well if that's the case...roll while you still can...

 

If you trying to get him in the sack, that shouldn't be too hard. But it looks like u not after tat. But I dunno you can do a couple of things to push it along if u see that this is leading to gf status in the future. He probably just scared of being Or dunno how to friend to gf/bf thing.

 

im sorry, the "im an idiot" and "im stupid for having feelings for him".. what is that bs? im not going to pat you on the back and say there there youre not an idiot, because if you really think youre an idiot for having normal human feelings, then you are.

Stop being so down on yourself. if you like him tell him. life is too damn short for bs games. let him know that you respect his wishes not to have a relationship, but let him know you have feelings for him and wish to take it to a higher level, and put the ball in his court.


theres no way youre going to be able to just remain "friends" because in your mind, you dont want that. and its just going to eat you up inside and cause problems down the way when he gets a g/f later.
if hes so childish that he starts acting weird after you tell him you have feelings then maybe hes not a great guy to start with.

most guys i know dont "cuddle" unless theyre gay or they want some.

sorry if i sound harsh, but well. there.

edit: i reread and noticed you did confront him. confront him again, if he says no,dont waste your time, and find someone new

 

Hate to say it but she's right. Trust me, she knows what she's talking about. 7 years of being my best friend and she's told me the same damn things. Did I listen? Not in the begining. But after a while I listened (and got some self confidence) and my life was just 10 times better.
It's never "stupid" to feel one way or another. The way you handle the situation may not be the best, but feelings do not make you an idiot.
Look if there's one thing I have learned, it's that guys don't like trying to decipher hints, you gotta just come right out and say it. And if things don't work out the way you want, well, yeah, it's gonna suck. But it's a hell of a lot better than sitting around going "what if?"
And from personal experience, I can DEFINITELY agree about the cuddling thing. So just take a chance and ask. Good luck.

 

just say one day, lets do it....

 

spontaneous sex is the best!!!

 

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