So i was completly aggravated and pissed off when me and my girl were in a fight the other day. i said something i didnt mean that was just the wrong thing and just horriable. I am ashamed to say what i said caues its so bad.

i said " i hope you eat all of your colodapins get raped and killed i hate you"

I can't stop thinking about what i said to her and how much i hurt her.

Later that night she calls me and i go over and see her and she tells me she loves me and that she is hurt by what i said to her. i say sorry and says i dont believe you. She says "Mike, i will wait for you to show me, but i wont wait long" then she started singing this tracy chapman song to me "wait for you" we kissed/hugged and fell asleep.

Last night was her birthday and we hung out i got her some ice cream and then we go back to her place, we are laying in bed and she says i know we shouldnt be doing this but im horny i want to have sex. I said, is that the only reason you want to have sex and she said yea. i did it anyways even though it hurt me after we were done.

So for the past few days she has been up and down about her and I. I dont know what to do, i just want my bestfriend/girlfriend back. she is waiting for me, and we still hang out so its different from anything i have done before.

So bassically what do I do, do I just leave her or do I wait. I want to wait but what i want and what i should do are two different things. HELP

 

damn that was pretty harsh but if you care for her the way you say then youll have to be super aggressive in getting back close to her sometimes in relationships people say the most hurtfull things just to inflict the max emotional damage. The real problem is that sometimes things stay with a person and go deep into their minds she may forgive you but it may stay with her forever.
You cant wait around for her to forgive you you already gave her some inital space now you need to make peace. flowers and such just dont do standard like roses too common. or do something special that she will love im you say shes your bestfreiend so you know things that will make her happy.

 

1) start begging and convince her you didn't mean it
2) why were you hurt after sex?
3) what is she waiting for?

you're lucky she wasn't more pissed at you for saying something like that.. go buy her a present

 

1. I have been begging her.
2. I was hurt after caues she was so cold to me after we were done, but while we were doing it it was probably the most pasionate sex we have had in a long time.
3. She is waiting for me to show her that i wont do that again and she is waiting to see if she can gt over what i said to her.

She is just so mad, and when i ask her to please be nice she simply says, its only been 2 days since you said it.

 

I wouldn't rush things. It may take her a bit of time to get over what you said. Just be as nice to her as you can (which you probably are already doing) and just think before you say things when you're mad. It sounds like she really loves you so just give her time and I'm sure you guys will be fine. Remember that was a pretty cold thing you said, so don't rush her

 

What did she do to make you say that?

 

you seriously have the best relationship/girl topics.

I'd say try to be w/her as much as possible. She still wanted to hang out w/you on her birthday, she had sex w/you, so theres the attachment, but she feels like things have gotten cloudy because of your comment. You'll have to explain to her better why you said that and what you were feeling. basically, its touch and go, and we all end up in that situation.

 

You are still in a stage of maturing.......
once you've matured... you will learn not to say any of those things to a woman, especially in a heated argument. You will learn that women don't ever forget what you say, especially harsh words...........
In a serious relationship, you should never raise your voice or slap a woman, needless to say telling her you wish she gets raped and killed..........
Having that said, I suggest you make a decision, you are either totally inlove with her or dump her.... there is no in between.....

 

Horrible....... Its just horrible how you spelled horrible.....

Seriously, buy her flowers and don't say stupid stuff again until you are married....

 

ah drugs.....

 

Its so true, women remember everything us guys say....so pick your words carefully next time

 

 

I'm still trying to figure out what you said to her..."colodapins"??
Isn't everything married guys say to their wives stupid? That's what my wife tells me...

 

I believe its a medication of some sort.

:ibshegoesbacktowomenexclusively:

 

As mentioned - your f'ed up. She may forgive you, but she will never forgive and she WILL bring it up and hold it over you for eternity. You need to decide if you can live with that or if it's better to learn from this mistake and make sure you never say anything like that to your next girlfriend.

As for the sex thing, if she was just horny and just wanted to feel pleasure without the emotional connection, you should have just passed her the vibe. (is there a color for half sarcasm?)

 

^^It happens more then you would think

 

So what was this arguement about that you would tell her you hoped he OD's, gets raped and killed?

 

Especially with this girl in particular apparently.

 

Sometimes the truth hurts....maybe thats what she didnt like

 

My guess is that he was "tactfully" telling her not to do drugs....

 

damn:

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Aah, thanks, got it now: meds + missing punctuation > confusion for me.

ShavedH22CL: Send flowers/small present and leave her alone for a couple more days. Either she'll boot you or she'll be fine.
And don't ever say to a female that you hope she is "raped and killed" unless your intent is to end the relationship.

 

Dude, you wished death and rape upon your girlfriend. Are you sure you love her?

You stopped just short of calling her a cunt which I think would be even worse.

What caused you to go off like that?

 

Goddamn, I can't imagine too many people saying what you said to a random person off the streets, let alone someone you care about. But what's done is done and it's time to move on. But I'm thinking it's not the first time you guys have engaged in a heated argument and/or hurt one another. And believe, another blow-up will happen and the precedence you already set will surface once again.

Don't worry too much about apologizing and making up for it (i.e. "waiting" is complete BS because it's akin to punishment rather than rehabilitation; now she's just power-playing you) ... instead, focus on figuring out and understanding what the cataylsts were. The problem with most relationship (especially with young un's like yourselves) is that it becomes a cycle of screwing up-apologizing-making-up over and over again without ever getting to the root of the problem. In the end, a break-up is inevitable because not enough time, energy, and effort were invested in trying to fix the the ACTUAL cause, rather than dealing with the residual effects.

BTW, all gals are nutty and passive aggressive but your gal seems to possess higher concentrations of both. I feel sympathetic to your "I want my bestfriend/girlfriend back" sentiment but man, the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship (early on when everything is kittens and sunshine) is obviously over. I hate sounding like a pessimist-cynic, but I doubt things will ever get back to "normal" again.

 

Cunt is worse than OD'ing, rape and death? Geez.

 

My ex's were never quite fond of "dirty fucking cunt whore." Rape and kill require external elements (need a third party to commit such acts and tho deplorable, such acts are typically unrealistic) but "DFCW" gets right to the point and focuses 100% of the attention to the individual being spoken to.

 

Yeah honestly... I think if you call your woman a cunt it's game, set, match.

 

Well said. Clearly this wasn't the first serious argument they've had. As someone mentioned earlier. He was now looking to extract as much emotional damage as possible.

But I have to say, I think cunt would have been less hurtful. Wishing rape and death on someone crosses the line, by a few feet.

 

 

In high school the "c" word got me a nice kick in the nads....Now, live Pavlov's dogs, I cringe when I hear the word....

 

Yes, because the drugs would numb her before she was raped and she'd be dead before dealing with the physical and emotional pain of the rape after the drugs wear off.

Come to think of it, the comment wasn't that bad to begin with.

 

I don't think you've done something that horrible here.

It's very normal to say stupid things while angry. It's human nature, and that can't be changed.

Depending on how much she knows you, and how bad she wants your relationship to work, she should easily get over it as she obviously knows that you didn't mean it.

If she's playing the innocent victim role here, don't give in. Appologize ONLY ONCE and tell her that deep down she should know how you feel about her. Words are much smaller than the actual connection between people. All you did to her was saying a few nasty words that obviously didn't come from anywhere near your heart. What the fuck is the big deal?

It's very important to control your mouth while angry, but when it comes to romance, the 2 parties should not hold strong words against each other. words are just words. Only a small portion of feelings is transmitted thru words, but in today's world, that seems to be the only thing that matters. such a shame...


I have personally said very nasty things to my SOs in my life and they have said stuff that made me want to kill them, but I have never had trouble believing them when they appologized and I always expect them to fully believe me when I say "I didn't mean it".

Let me put it this way:

In an ideal relationship, parties should be able to transmit feelings without ever speaking to each other. That'd the relationship I would aim for. Is it doable? Probably not. Is it worth trying for? Absolutely.

 

While most people say things they regret in the heat of an arguement, there is a limit to what you can recover from. I do agree that you shouldn't/can't keep on apologizing. There is only so much you can say AND only so much you can reasonably do.

I'd be more than happy if women could transmit their true feelings verbally in a manner that a typical man could understand.

 

slut is pretty bad too.


hmm. leave jelly beans/candy in her car, write I love you on a hundred little notes and hide them all over her office.


Write her a get out of jail card, to be used whenever she royally pisses you off. Include 2-3 do anything she wants, bonus coupons.

 

klonipin = benzodiazepine (like xanax).

She's gonna hold this over your head until:
1) you die
2) she dies, or
3) she says something even worse


Say you're sorry and mean it. If that's not enough, so long.

 

You need to clarify what kind of relationship you have with her. If I'm guessing it correctly, she was your bestfriend who eventually became your gf? Is the relationship new?

And what do you mean "she has been waiting for you"? Wait for you to make a decision?

If your relationship with her is pretty new and has been clouded with uncertainty because you couldn't make up your mind about making a commitment with her, her statement "Mike, i will wait for you to show me, but i wont wait long" means she's going to leave you if you don't prove to her that you really love her. If you want to keep the relationship, I suggest you try all those cheesy things that supposedly will win a woman's heart. Nothing says better than cheese

 

Did you mean Klonopin (clonazepam) for seizures and panic disorder or Klonipin which is a sedative or tranquilizer? You were hurt after sex? Sorry bro but if you felt like you were just a piece of meat to her get over it. Guys treat girls like that all the time so don't feel so special.
Any chick on those type of meds=bye cunt!

 

Don't apologize so much. It'll only bring up the topic of why you're apologizing.

I think I got you beat though. I took a pic of me and my ex, our favorite pic, and smashed it on the concrete in front of her, shattered glass and all. Then ran over it and drove the fuck off.

Still haunts me to this day why I got so heated like that. I'm still REAL hurt that I did it. Still remember her cradling the pic in her arms while her tears just fell on it when I came back .. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.

But oh well, you move on right? Just don't expect that topic to EVER disappear.

 

i agree with this as i am going through what you are saying.

 

Damn, you guys are scary when mad