TLD

I got tired of passing her by and saying hi and making small talk. I caught her alone and asked her what her plans were for Saturday. I asked her if she wanted to catch a movie with me and she agreed. We hung out after work and had a light meal at a diner. I dropped her off at home and now we're just waiting for Saturday. Here's the problem, the girl's ultra shy. I can't even expect a sign from her for me to make a move on her. I have a feeling she wouldn't turn me away if I made my move, but in the small chance she does, I'd have to face her at work which has not been the case with other girls. I've never been one to move like a turtle, but in this case, is this the best way to handle things and let her warm up to me? Should I just wait it out instead of jumping her bones, which is the usual move for the love doctor? I'm just not used to girls being this shy and worse yet, a coworker.

mantis23

Just whip it out and see what happens?

Whiskers

Why is the love dr. asking for advice??

Yumcha

Usually, I'd keep work and romance separate. A giant can 'o worms and risk involved. Good luck to you, BD.

Fibonacci

I agree w/ Yumchah - fishing off the company pier can be a dangerous sport.

Speaking from experience - what usually starts with good intentions, ends with disaster.

Jerky

AHHH fishing in your own pond


EHHHH Grazing on your own field


OHHHH Smoking your own stash



(bad news buddy, ive seen it happen many times, wait till other people find out at work, believe me they will)

darrinb

i believe the saying is never get high on your own supply

BC2G

dont be worried about being rejected... u already got passed that point... find out more about her morals/values... then feel out the situation and let her have it if its meant to be

Jerky

ahahah no, you're wrong, that's how we say it out here in kali for nye aye

ShopTalker

Give her a nice chin omlette and then a nice swift crack in the nose!

TLD

Even the love doctor is new to some things and dating a coworker is one of them. I've always risked the first move without worry, but it's different when you have to see the person almost daily. All I asked was whether I should bust out a move on a shy girl who happens to be my coworker. If this were any other girl, the answer would have been yes and who gives a fuck because I don't have to see her again if things go wrong. Damn, such complications.

dallison

if its a diff. dept. its not that bad, but a boss or direct co-worker is hairy sometimes, esp if things go bad. but things cn also go well

Smitty

if you hit it, expect to find a new job....

been there, done that... RULE #1. YOU NEVER SHIT WHERE YOU EAT...

matelot

ultra shy, co-worker hmmm too risky. I say either take it easy and don't act like horn dog looking for first-date or just leave her alone

fdl

I would take it easy if I were you.

TLD

Ye of little faith, don't ever understimate the power of the "move". The move gets you respect from not only your peers, but the girl you have a first or second date with. Think of it this way, the only girl who wouldn't respect the move, is a girl who doesn't like you to begin with. My friends, go out and bust a move. Everybody bust a move!

Smitty

sure bust a move, but you are talking about a spur of the moment situation/urge...In all honesty any smart human being would think of the reprocussions to an action.. for which every action has an equal or greater reaction...

In layman terms:.... if you hate your job, you will prolly hate it more...

best wishes.

TLD

Smitty, I'm not saying there would be no repercussions if a relationship develops, but I don't see any major complications to the move. If I make the move and she rejects me (never been rejected yet), I simply apologize and offer to take her home. I never call her again and treat her nicely at work and life goes on from there.

Smitty

well I should of added:... if you hate your job, you will prolly hate it more IF it does not work out or goes sour....

but it sounds like you are pretty sure of yourself, so go get her tiger.....

I seem to think you had your mind made up before this thread was ever started.... are you starting to doubt yourself in your old age?.. or do you really just inquire our insight?

wipe0ut

never dip your pen in the company ink.

2003type-s6

Really....

nicholbr

everyone quit beating around the god damned bush...

batin...dont put your penis in a girl you work with







on a serious note though...if i were you i'd be chill on the movie date and see what kind of messages she's sending out. Ask her to dinner afterward or something and see if maybe that can get some kind of sign out of her.

Honestly though, I would take it a little slow despite its not your nature. I believe this situation warrants it. good luck.

TLD

I've got to say I'm disappointed in many of you. How can you guys have any balls if you wait around and do nothing? I'm not saying to jump her bones for no reason at all, but at least I'd have to make the effort at some point. Let me explain something to you guys, if you take no risks, you get no reward. Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna listen to you guys for the first part of the date. If things get boring, I'm gonna switch to my strategy and liven things up. Let's find out who was right.

Jerky

^no Batin, it's not about having balls or not, it's just choosing the right place to do it...

bar =yes
schul = yes
work = risky but could be exciting

just be prepard to accept the consequences if things go south...remember you'll have to see this person no matter what if it doesnt work out, and believe me...your coworkers will talk...trust me they will...

they will talk about you guys and laff (no joke)

miner

BD, you may be the catalyst that her reaction has been looking for. If she is shy she is looking for someone to take control. Once that shell is broken she may be the one taking control. I dated a girl in my office some time ago - we have been married 25 yrs. now so office romances can work with a bit of effort - if it is worth it to you.

@cUr@-TL

im pretty much in the same situation (except for the work part)... i know how you feel... my friend somehow convinced me that i should make a move before the opportunity slips away... i guess that's what imma do and i suggest you do the samething. like i told my friend, the worse thing that could happen is she freaks out, in which case i'll just try to stay calm and get drunk to forget, LOL.

best of luck.

justin

CGTSX2004

iTrader: (1)

Basically, just remember one thing, if things go south, sexual harrassment is a real possibility. Be prepared to accept the consequences if you continue to proceed down this path. Otherwise, should be business as usual

Doc.Booty

Take it at whatever pace you feel comfortable with. Maybe push it a little bit quicker and see what happens. She might want someone to take control. Or she'll like to take it slow. Feel it out. She'll probably open up as she gets more comfortable iwth you.

If she agreed to go out with you she's at least somewhat interested. That gives you some wiggle room between taking it slow and nailing her in the copy room on lunch.

dabuda

ric

aaaaaaaaaaah, the struggle to keep it in your pants and move slowly. Might result in a different pace of the relationship that would make it far more provocative than a five-date stand...................... If the object of your dating is to have sex, there are probably more efficient ways to achieve that than an office romance. If the object is to establish a relationship in which sex plays a big part (sooner or later), the complexities of an office romance can be exhilerating or depressing.

I've dated a client contact; we were quite open, and nobody gaf. I've dated a married coworker, and we ultimately got married. In neither did I have sex on the second date, because, perhaps, I come from a different generation. However, that said - there is something wonderfully illicit about sex in the Board Room at midnight..........

spidey07

I dated my ex from work. we were living together for 2.5 years. Nobody at work ever knew.

spidey07

not if he files it first!

PinkyLV

Good luck I hope it goes well...I've been in the same situation, (on the receiving end) and it wasn't pretty.

There's this one guy at my work, I'm not attracted to him in ANY way, but he feels he has a chance (I'm not trying to say I'm better than anyone, but anyways) he was telling people how he's gonna ask me out and ish, and one day he cornered me and wanted to get together during lunch to ask me something. I took care of that just by saying I prefer not to socialize with people I work with via email and asked him not to respond to my email. That was it, I don't even acknowledge him or anything. I avoid him all the time, if I see him walking in my direction, I turn right around, I feel no ways. I can't stand to look at him either because he aint the prettiest one out there.

I can't believe he put me in such an awkward position. Then buddy had the nerve to go off on me the other day when he mistook something I said (it was work related) so my response there was "take it however the hell you want to take it" (I used that line from Seinfeld )

But it sounds like she likes you, or doesn't mind hanging out with you, so my only advice would be to take it in stride, even though she is the shy type, you'll know what to do as the date progresses.

PEACE

Smitty

regardless, report back in a few months.. i will be interested to hear the truth about this one.

and like others said:.... you are messing with your career.... that to me is not to be treaded on lightly for a piece of cute, shy ass...

phipark

About a year ago, I got on a co-worker the same day I met her. It was all fine and dandy for 6 months, then we broke up. The next two months were the worst two months in the office. Eventually, I got a new job.

ric

Guy sounds like a complete jerk. Boasting about his potential conquest is definitely crude, and it means he was looking for a scoreboard, not a relationship.

JLatimer

It can be done. A guy I work with successfully "worked" over 5 girls from the office. He made good use of the boardroom table too. He played some pretty complicated games even with the girls dad working in the same building. He pulled it off - I dont know how - it seems too risky. He eventually got busted by a loose raincoat, and now he is married, but of the 5 he still works with 3. Oh yeah, and he wasnt a "boss", just another worker bee.

ClutchPerformer

matelot

Have you read this thread Psycho stories about GF/BF ?

if this chick turns psycho on you - do you want this person in your love life AND work life ?
THINK

matelot

just curious did you guys go all-the-way ?