Long story short... My ex-girlfriend has been calling me, she wanted to come back to the states from Asia to be with me. Now I am seeing a really nice girl for about 3 months. I do not want to hurt either one's feeling, but guess I will have to make a decision.

Some background. My ex left me to go back to Asia to find herself last year. After 10 months, she found out that she could not become part of pure Asian culture and be with them, after all she is asian american. She decided that she wanted to come back to me, since she realized that she was really happy with me.

Me, was already torn part once already after she left. After half year of hell, I started seeing this very nice girl. Everything is going well.

Now, I am torn apart again. Deep inside I still very much love my ex, but I am so afraid of her leaving me again (three times so far) if we go back together. Worst thing is that I already started having deep feelings for my current one as well. I don't want to hurt either of them, but I will have to make a decision really soon.

God... life is full of difficult decisons... I am so confused and torn apart.

 

I would keep with the new girl you are seeing. If you take the old girl back, you have no idea how you both have changed and what sort of hidden issues/hurt feelings you have from her leaving...

just my 2 cents

 

Its really not that difficult. She left you for her own selfish gain. Never ever speak with her again.

/end

 

if it didn't work out the first time, it will never work.

furthermore, you've let her walk all over you more than once in teh past, and you've always taken her back, this puts you on level footing with a doormat IMO.

Stay with the new girl, or don't, but don't go back to your ex so she can hurt you again with her selfishness. It's time for you to be selfish and look out for #1.

 

The fact that you guys have broken up THREE different times should be a BIG clue for you....in fact - it carries the answer. How many times do people need to try to make it work before they realize something just might not be 'meant to be'?! I agree with trying to work things out, but if you've been unable to do that on three separate occassions....why try a fourth time?
Also, people can be very different after ten months of being apart...You two might not be the same together as you were a year ago. So unless there's been some drastic change for the positive, I don't see the point. Just my

 

DO NOT GO BACK TO HER....Shes your EX for a REASON.

I remember my cousin was engaged to this chick, and she called off the wedding because she didnt feel right with him. Two months past and she wants to get married to my cousin again. He straight up told her NO...and hes been giving her the dead treatment since. They hang out in the same places...so whenever she sees him and tries to talk to him...He doesnt know her. Its fucking brilliant to see it in action...but hey, its neccessary.

 

I agree with those who say don't take back the ex, but you also need to get over her completely so you can truly be open to progressing with your current gf. It's not fair to her if you are "still in love" with your ex.

 

1. Who seems to complement you better.
2. Who is prettier.
3. Who is better in bed.
4. Who is in better shape, physically.
5. Who makes your heart go "thumpity thump."
6. Who seems to fit your version of an ideal woman.
7. Who won't leave you (3 times).

 

man, for the first 6 choices, each of the girls get 3 pluses... it is a difficult one for me.
I will have to make a decision tonight though...

 

Ok what ? So you're telling me that regardless of the fact that she left you 3 times...you'd still take her back. You're a MAN...dont be a pussywhipped bitch. This should really be a non issue. She left you 3 times...whats gonna stop her from doing it again?

 

Totally agree with the rest of the people here.. third time is the charm man. Don't take her back!!!

 

If you ever come to Dallas, look me up. I'll be glad to kick you in the nuts three times, and I'll even be so considerate as to not hurt you emotionally. Questions?

 

damn, my nuts are going to hurt

 

Fuck the ho, stay with the new girl. Send the old one my way I'm around the corner.

 

Don't go back to her. You are always going to be the scrap if you are with her from the sound of it. Just listen to this song lyrics.

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife.
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.

Chorus

A pretty woman makes her husband look small,
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her, then she starts,
To do the things that will break his heart.

But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life.
An ugly woman cooks meals all the time,
She'll always give you peace of mind.

Chorus

Don't let your friends say you have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway.
Her face is ugly, her eyes don't match.
Take it from me, she's a better catch.

Chorus

Say, man?
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, and she's sure is ugly. Ha!
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright.
Unfortunately, she has acne.
That's a shame, baby.
Yeah, baby.

 

Just get as much sex as possible from the ex and dont get attached and dont let the new one find out of course.
Boy you gonna be busy heheh....

 

Well not really but:

1. I never get to use that someone always beats me to it

2. i just really like asian chick...

3. refer back to 1 & 2

 

 

A few things for you to ponder.....

1. (My own opinion) You are a chump if you take the ex back.

You can't walk in and out of someone's life and expect them to always be there. Life goes on, people change, people grow. Besides, people are in your past for a reason - keep them there.

2. Don't throw away what seems to be a decent relationship right now, just for "a chance." <-There is no confirmation that a relationship with your ex will even work...you are not the same person that you were 10 months ago.

3. (Most important) If you drop everything for her... she owns you, plain and simple. She did it to you twice, and now she wants to do it again. Right now she knows she has power over you...if she didn't think she did, she wouldn't be askin' to get back with you. What happens when she gets another urge to go move away? <----There you are, left behind, heart broken, and with no one.


Relationships are equal partnerships.......right now you are just a stepping stone, a doormat, a safe place to her.

 

Three times and you're out..... isn't that a law somewhere?

Look, no matter how sweet #1 is, she has a tendency to flee the relationship. Has she resolved, in any way, those issues? I doubt it. #2, an emerging relationship of some substance, sounds like some continued nurturing will allow it to grow into something nice - like a relationship that is not on again/off again.

It does sound as if you have feelings for the first girl that are unresolved, and for that, you may want to be a bit introspective, and try to understand why she still has some "magical hold" on your heart. THis girl has dropped you three times, so is there something about the dynamic of being rejected and reclaimed that has a unique power? Find out what it is that this girl means to you, mourn the loss, and move on with #2 with a light heart and an open mind.

 

uu,
I think it's quite obvious where we all stand on this issue, you should give your current girl a chance since you already have deep feelings for her.

Best of luck

 

Hey... is #2 just a pit stop until something better comes along? I've had in-between-relationship girlfriends...is this girl one? I don't know why you wud be thinking of taking back #1 if u have any feelings for #2.

Go out with #1 screw her good one last time and say "no this isn't working, I've changed my mind I'm leaving you."

 

Thanks all... the advice from you all is uninamous.

I just need more time to think thoroughly about it.

I am a one-woman man. I wish I can go around have some fun, but I just can't get over myself doing it. Honesty, no matter what I do, I have to be honest with the two girls and myself.

 

AGREED with Eggplant there, plus, she left you 3x already, that one tOO many dude. Seriously man, be there for her (your ex) if she needs your help, but don't get emotionally involved with her again.

 

Hmm. I don't get it. Being honest is doing what is right. And that is to simply tell the ex "you are out of my life forever, please don't contact me again." Hopefully you can tell her how wonderful your current girl is to twist the knife a little.

Your hands are washed clean and you can focus your attention on one girl.

 

^ When you truly love someone, it's not that simple to just get up and walk away. It will take some time before she can do that.

 

Do Not Recycle - stay with the new girl!

 

yeah, but she f'ed up...more than once. OP shouldn't care one cent or even give her the time of day.

Self respect is something everybody should learn. Nobody likes a doormat, much less love one.

 

Maybe he's STILL thinking about getting back with the ex for some cultural reason we don't quite understand?

Otherwise, it's PLAINLY obvious that he shouldn't get back with the ex.

 

If you don't listen to these other posts then take it from someone who was in similar shoes- my ex f-ed up and was a jackhole to me so many times and I will admit it now - i was a doormat and forgave him each time. Now (hopefully) it is over for good but I wish I hadn't wasted my time and gone through all that heartache.

 

dude you're an asshole if you're still considering this matter. the ex is USING you. do you not understand that? geesh