stic2it

iTrader: (1)

32k is pennies in D.C...I couldnt survive off that let alone spend 2k on an engagement ring...

YoungCeo

I'm not really surviving. But this is imortant enough to make whatever sacrifices I have to make sure that she is 110% happy and satisfied

1Louder

Sorry for all my ramblings... One more...

Given your $ situation, it's not bad to have this conversation with her about expectations. When I got married, my wife and I combined made under $24K (1990, but still). We were paying for 50% of the cost of our own wedding, and had no reserves. So we had that discussion - about what I wanted for her, and what we could really do and not saddle ourselves with a huge debt over it. She was very reasonable about it. At the time, she even said that as much as she wanted "the rock", she couldn't feel good about it if it meant not being able to get things like furniture, or pay the rent...So we got the modest ring - and all things considered about where we were at the time, she was happy. Of course, the $8K "make up for it ring" came due 18 years later , but she was thrilled on both counts.

darksom1

That's what I'm talking about right there!

Get the reasonable one now and splurge on the upgrade mannnggggg!!!!

stic2it

iTrader: (1)

I hear you, and that's cool but putting yourself in a even tighter bind by buying something you can't afford is crazy. You have hopefully 3/4 of a lifetime to make her happy. If she really is a good chick then she will be happy with your commitment. Talk to her, I'm sure she is well aware of your financial situation at the moment. I say get her a smaller ring, get on your grind and then upgrade later. My father has yet to buy my mom a diamond, he just splurges on other things....My mom isn't happy about it but she gets everything else. He just doesn't believe in the whole diamond thing. When your financial situation gets better and you are able to say buy her a house and you two pop out some kids, she will be as happy as ever.

I'm kinda in the same situation, but I'm in school 3/4 time, work full time and I have a mortgage and bills. So I have to work but Im not really in the position to buy any diamond ring at this point. Haven't even started saving for one....

jamal

TS_eXpeed

I've heard about the 2-3 month thing, but that is a little much for some. Just go with what you are comfortable with. If the woman really loves you, she will love anything you get. Sure, something extravagant is nice, but don't think that is the deal breaker.

YoungCeo

One of the wildest things ever.

I came on here to look for a ring advice thread and who would have thought I made a thread 4 years ago. My how things have changed lol...that particular lady is long gone. Budget hasn't changed that much but only because the new lady is extremely low maintence. She deserves something nice though and I think between $2500 and $3000 should do it.

I've done plenty of research now it's just about finding the right one. I actually found THE one but it was discontinued and they dont have it listed on the site anymore. I think once I actually have the money in hand in a week or two I'll really be able to narrow things down. We shall see.

What a wierd moment lol.

Majofo

YoungCeo

oo7spy

I think guys put WAY too much thought into this. I was completely ready to spend $3k on a 1 carat, as perfect as possible for that price, diamond. I did not talk to my wife about it, because I wanted it to be a surprise. Sitting in a hot tub one day, she brought the idea of how much I should spend on a ring. Her budget was $500. I thought she was crazy, but we went to Samuel's Diamonds one day out of the blue. She showed me something that she would like, and it cost ~$900. We happened to walk in on one of their "inventory" days that happen 2 times a year, and pretty much everything was 30% off. I walked out with the ring she wanted, a matching wedding band, and a 3 year warranty for less than $1100. She couldn't have been happier. Surprisingly, the ring is very elegant and nice for the price. Unless she will use a magnifying glass, buying a perfect diamond is nonsense IMHO.

Needless to say, my idea of what she wanted was COMPLETELY off base, style and price wise. I think if your girl needs a certain amount to be happy, then she likely has issues. If it is something that will break your bank, then you are only setting a standard of expectations that will haunt you for the rest of your relationship.

The diamond market is completely controlled by the suppliers, so your "investment" is sketchy at best. The hype generated by Kay's and Jared, is just a materialistic and narcissistic view that is wrong in a lot of ways.

Good luck! Just keep in mind that what she wants and what you think she wants could be completely different.

Will Y.

Glad you didn't spend $10K on a ring... yet.
I just bought my wife the nicest simple white gold ring with round solitaire for the amount I wanted to spend at the time. She liked it.
It turns out that the diamond is nicer than what her girlfriends and my buddies' wives have received, even now.

oo7spy

See, I was going round all the way. Turns out squares turn her on.

I guess that's why she chose me though...

silver3.5

I think I spent like $1200 on my wife's ring and she was totally happy because it was the ring she wanted. Mine cost $550! Simple but got the job done! No sense in spending a $10K ring if it's not to the liking of the woman!

GIBSON6594

I'm a little shocked over how little some of you have spent on rings. Not saying it's a bad thing, just not the numbers I saw while looking and while looking with friends.

oo7spy

My ring costs $60, and as long as I don't break my hand it will come off without a special tool!

FastInFairway

I had a ring from my first engagement that I traded in towards a new ring for my wife. Because I had made the investment sometime prior, my cost for buying a new ring was minimized. I also had a bunch of stones from an old tennis bracelet that my mom had that allowed me to make the wedding band at the same time. So now, my wife has a 2.5 CT ring that she loves (total weight for both bands and center stone).

She wanted me to have whatever ring I wanted, so I had one custom made with 16 black diamonds set into the sides of the ring (8 on each side). My band is 1/4" wide and more than 1/16" tall. It's a heavy mother, but I really like it. I need to take it back to get roughed up again - didn't want a polished band. The roughed/brushed look is more subtle, which is what I wanted... plus, you can't really see the black diamonds unless you look at the profile of the ring, so I've got bling and a huge white gold ring, but because of their location and the roughed up look, no one really knows that I've got an expensive ring. Here's a pic (needs to be touched up a bit):

silver3.5

Maybe you're loaded and alot of us aren't?

ohsixMTee

iTrader: (2)

I opened up a Kay account that offered zero interest for a year and 20% down. The engagement ring ran something like $3800. $800 or so down and $200 something a month. It's a good route to go if you can afford the monthly payment, at least for me. I don't have a lot of money sat aside for things like that but could take on the monthly payment and was willing to do so being there was no interest.

My ring on the other hand is just a plain band, smallest and lightest white gold one they had.....$50 bucks. lol

There isn't a rule set in stone, just spend what you're comfortable with spending. It's the thought and decision to make the major commitment that matters.

EL_PIC

That makes sense economically.
Women dont always make sense economically. Depends ..

I did 1 month salary 30 years ago but diamonds were less then and she is small and petite. She also picked the stone.

As years pass you buy more rings and stones.
We replaced the orig engagement on our 20th.

Regardless of you x factor ... but clear white stones.
In time you after you buy new, bigger, more $$
you can have original remounted into pin or other.
Women will always want more in rings.

GIBSON6594

That's not what I meant...I've looked for rings and looks for rings with a few other friends. None of the prices were anywhere even close to 3-5 thousand.

My friend just got a 1.4 carrot and it was closer to 14K. Maybe it's just another reason NYC sucks.

eve

From a woman’s perspective… in a stable, 5 year long relationship and going strong: There are women who don’t pay attention to engagement rings. I would not turn down a $1K or $30K ring but it’s a gift and I'd never tell my boyfriend or even suggest how much he should spend. He knows my taste and I would hope that he gets me something that fits ME not the perception of how much should be spent.

That said… my sister got engaged last month. She received a beautiful, almost 2 carat princess cut diamond. She’s in heaven. My boyfriend asked me if I want a $20K ring or if I want to go on 3-4 vacations (we both love to travel). We’re currently planning our trips Ring can wait.

oo7spy

Go online. There reputible dealers that can give prices without overhead or local competition. That is where I was looking at the flawless/colorless/perfect cut almost 1 carat diamonds for $3.5k. Buy the diamond and ring online and have a local jewler set it.

Street Spirit

I'd be pissed if my husband bought me $10,000 worth of jewelery. I'd much rather have that invested in our home, vacationing, or in our savings account.

Majofo

SS.. Keeper.

GIBSON6594

I'm in Manhattan...ever heard of the diamond district?

I've already bought my ring...no sense finding a cheaper one at this point.

oo7spy

I guess. What does that matter?

You post implied NY prices are driven up above outside competition because of location. Hence the reason for my suggestion.

GIBSON6594

That's not the case. That's why it matters. I've compared what I've seen to websites, i.e. Blue Nile and they are not any cheaper. That's why it baffles me that some of you are getting them so much cheaper.

oo7spy

^Got it! The price does not increase linearly with size. It's more like an exponential because the larger the stone the less there are. If a .5 carat is $1.5k and a 1 carat is $3k, a 1.5 carat will not be $4.5k. It likely would be more like $6+k.

Chica or :ghey:?

1Louder

This is all why I hate any kind of "spend this much rule". That's just the jewelry companies talking. And I never, ever surprise my wife with a gift that is over say $300. Anything more, I always ask what she wants so I get the right thing. Even after 21 years.

vester1986

I wouldn't spend more than $2,500 on a wedding ring, I'd rather spend the money on a honeymoon trip but that's just my opinion.

Majofo

I hope I'm not the only one who saw this.. I almost choked on food I was eating when I saw this.

jupitersolo

I didn't worry about how much I was spending, because at first I didn't know what I was looking for. I single diamond just didn't look right to me, I kept looking, went to about 10 stores. Kept looking, finally found that I liked a ring that had two smaller stones with a big one in the middle.

Once I found the setting, then I started to play with numbers, in '96 spent, just under 4k. The two smaller diamonds are good diamonds, but it was the big one that I went with a nice diamond, didn't pay attention to how big (carat), wanted better clarity and color. You can also get more of a diamond by staying away from the fancier cuts. With round and radiant the cheapest IIRC.

uhohkaitlina

I will give you a woman's perspective on this.

In my opinion, the MOST IMPORTANT thing is color. When girls get together, they compare rings. If the stone is not colorless, it'll look yellow right away compared to other stones that are colorless, and that's not a good time.

You should take your girl ring shopping if you haven't already, and get an idea for what she likes. Some girls actually prefer a smaller rock. Make sure you know which cut she likes. I told my boyfriend if it isn't princess I don't want it. May sound harsh, but I have a vision of my engagement ring in my head and it is nothing other than princess cut.

Anyway. For a really nice ring, (and by really I mean nearly perfect, one karat) I think that you'd be pressed if you aren't willing to spend around $5,000. A high quality one karat diamond is often more than that, and that doesn't even include a band.

Remember that you can always upgrade the rock later. However, this is something that she is going to have on her hand for the rest of her life. You want to make it something that she is going to be proud showing off and wearing every day.

Majofo

Poor guy.

uhohkaitlina

On another note. Don't go to Kay or Jared. You will get ripped off. (Trust me). Private and non chain jewelry stores often will give better deals.

If you can, get over to NYC and shop the diamond district. They are all competing with each other and you can get a good deal.

Or, having a ring custom built can at times be more cost effective.

Majofo

I bought a fairly large rock.. It doesn't get much daylight these days. The wife is very modest and only wears the simple wedding band. The engagement ring comes out only for special occasions.

I got some hated looks from my boys when their girls looked at it and started praising it. I could see in their eyes.. "you fucker!" Especially from the ones who haven't popped the question but are in committed relationships.

jupitersolo

I haven't met a woman yet, that has wanted or would allow their husbands to "upgrade" the main diamond. My wife was very, very vocal about it when I brought it up a few times around a couple of our anniversaries. So I got her a ten year band.

jupitersolo

But don't worry about custom ring prices, they have plenty that you can choose from. They just have better diamonds and better prices.

Will Y.

Our rings came from LA's jewelry district; the solitaire was stock, but wedding bands were custom made due to use of small diamond details/trim.
My wife will put on the engagement ring for unpredictable occasions (going to visit her family, sometimes shopping, a job interview or two... ), but she usually has another ring in front of the wedding band.

Acura_Dude

SET UP! lol I've never went ring shopping before, but this thread has given me some serious guidance for the future when I do meet the right one. I don't mind spending X amount of money on a ring. I just don't want a high maintenance woman who wants a $10K ring, or one of those girls who'll only say yes if the ring is what they want. It's not just about the ring, but building a life with someone. 1ct or less with a gold/white gold band 18kt seems definitely doable. I'm a simple guy and and when someone goes out their way for me it ALWAYS carries a good weight with me.