yuhoo22

Hey Guys/Gals,

I've been thinking about when my next move is going to be.....

So I've started to wonder how much everyone spends on an engagement ring. Is it still 2 months salary? Gross or net? Or is it something disgustingly more?

Thanks all.

WdnUlik2no

I think that 2 month salary rule is B.S. I don't know who makes up these blanket rules. The fact is, some people can afford 2 month salary, others can't. One reason people get in trouble financially is because they try to be like everyone else. My advice, buy what you think she would like and what you can honestly afford, if you can do 2 month then do it, but don't get caught up in these stupid rules. If the girl is that concerned about how much you spend on the ring, time to jump ship now before its too late.

WdnUlik2no

^^ Not saying you can't or can't "afford" a 2-month salary ring, just advising you not to get caught up in the B.S.

Congrats BTW.

MikeCLS6

8-12k?

SHYUperman

iTrader: (1)

^^I totally agree. I really hate the unspoken rules about the amount of money spent/size of the ring, it totally becomes a status item that the lady can show off or what her friends talk about in how much "he loves her."

The diamond industry already has every man's balls when it comes to purchasing a diamond ring. They've controlled the market and marketed their product so well, that we're caught up in following their "rules." It's funny how man made diamonds are more flawless, better quality, and cheaper than the real ones, but it's already imprinted in the minds of females that it's not as good and it's not a "real diamond."

Do what you think is best in your current financial state. Like WdnUlik2no said, do what you can afford and what you think the lady will like. Don't get caught up with the rules.

BustedJack

With the price of inflation, a diamond with good "4Cs" at 1~1.50ca is about 8~12k. I think diamond is a big waste of money. They look identical in the naked eye as a Cubic Z.
a diamond back in 1997 cost about $4000 and today it cost about $9500. My wifey doesn't even wear her ring at all and I spent over $8000 on her back in the day.

MikeCLS6

Women are so materialistic nowadays

PillsburyChoboy

The whole concept of engagement rings makes my stomach churn and I simply cannot respect any woman who "demands" a specific C-C-C-C ring. I mean, shouldn't males be the ones getting a material symbol of impending marriage? We're the ones who have to put up with all their shit and craziness.

Some crap I pulled up from the internet ...

The history of the ring is more about myth and fantasy than actual fact until you enter the 20th Century when a marked turn of events shapes public opinion beyond all doubt.

Today almost everyone's interpretation of the engagement ring is something along these lines: "A symbol of ever lasting purity, love, devotion and commitment between two people". But where did it all start?

The earliest surviving records have shown that Archduke Maximillian of Hamburg may have started the trend among the European wealthy and royalty of giving diamond engagement rings in 1477 by giving Mary of Burgundy a diamond betrothal ring.

What happened before 1477? Was there such a thing as an engagement ring and if so were they set with diamonds?

Ancient History

The ancient Roman's called their engagement ring the betrothal (Truth) ring. The Romans were the first to wear the ring on the third finger of the left hand.

This surviving tradition seems to stem from the Egyptian belief that the vein from this finger leads straight to the heart. It's thought that the Romans were the first to start inscribing or engraving their rings.

The Middle Ages

The Middle Ages and the Gimmal or "bond" ring was invented, but it's doubtful that this was an engagement ring design. However, sapphires, emeralds and rubies would have been the norm for those who could afford them.

Because diamond is the hardest and strongest mineral on earth it was seen to resist fire and steel and thus symbolize the unbending union of a man and woman in wedlock. So it became more commonplace for the European super wealthy and royalty to give a diamond engagement ring at this time.

Less wealthy citizens would have given a Fede (faith) ring in the form of two clasped hands more akin to the more modern claddagh (clasped hands) engagement rings.

The 18th Century

Diamonds became more readily available when diamonds were discovered in Brazil. Diamond cluster engagement rings were fashionable among the wealthy.

The 19th Century

In South Africa 1870, the vast, newly discovered Kimberley diamond region began to flood the market with not so rare a gem after all! The supply increased whilst the prices fell.

Within 10 years the now famous De Beers Consolidated Mines Ltd. was formed by the Englishman Cecil John Rhodes to control the sale of diamonds throughout the world. Even today they control 65% of the world's diamond trade.

At this time during the history of the engagement ring, the diamond rush gave rise to the notion that the various birthstones were seen to be a rarity (and more desirable) compared to the diamond.

Elaborate engagement rings of sapphire, emerald and rubies (and other precious gems) with diamond accents were therefore more commonplace among those with appropriate wealth.

The 20th Century

From 1880 De Beers were able to control the supply (and price) of diamonds but how were they going to control demand during a period when sales began dropping dramatically (up to 50%) in the 20s and 30s onwards through the great depression?

Just as platinum started to become popular in diamond engagement rings, diamonds were becoming less valued. Platinum was banned for all but war use during WWII and so the platinum diamond engagement rings as we know them today almost died out.

The answer to the problem was a new marketing campaign commissioned by De Beers that began in 1947. Perhaps you've heard the slogan "A Diamond is forever"? This was to mark the beginning of a change in the history of the engagement ring.

Subsequent campaigns would convince families to hold on to their diamonds as family heirlooms... and it worked! Used diamonds were not being released back into the industry which in turn created the demand that De Beers were seeking.

Jewelers were unofficially educated by De Beers to instruct men that two to three months personal wages were an ideal price to pay for the diamond engagement ring that their prospective fiancée's would gladly accept.

In 1953 the world's two most glamorous women of the time Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell were the stars of the hit film musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

The plot involves Monroe and Russell chasing potential husbands on a cruise to France. The movie also features a very famous song sung by the blonde bombshell Marilyn Monroe, Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend.

This film would have undoubtedly influenced public opinion at the time and will have advanced the popularity of diamonds for years afterwards through Hollywood glamour.

The film is now 50 years old but it's still a firm favorite of all who love Hollywood and the legend of Monroe.

This is where the tradition of the diamond engagement ring really started, all from an advertising campaign that literally "rocked" the world! So you see buying a diamond engagement ring isn't really a popular ancient tradition.

It's more a combination of "dreaming of being a princess", a clever marketing campaign and compelling Hollywood glamour that ultimately promotes diamonds as the only jewels with which to furnish your loved one as a sign of engagement.

The 21st Century

The history of the engagement ring has moved on and demand for diamonds and platinum diamond engagement rings is still rising. The tradition is here to stay. Estimated 78% of all engagement rings sold every year are diamond.

aodaniel

Way too much IMO. $3-4K I say.

Street Spirit

There's no real rule. Spend what you think is appropriate, what feels comfortable to you, and what you think you can afford to get something both of you will enjoy.

EDIT:...Mainly what you think she will enjoy.

Mike 350Z

2 months salary? It's just a marketing ploy. Plus considering most Americans that have "regular" jobs (as opposed to ones that work on commission or own their own business) live paycheck to paycheck anyway. So even if you make 200k a year that's like 33k. If you live paycheck to paycheck, there's no chance you can afford 2 months salary unless you wait forever.

Plus if your chick is throwing numbers around then just counter with however many thousand you spend, that's how many times per week she needs to orally pleasure you That said, I'd go with 4-5 k.

yuhoo22

I totally agree that there shouldn't be a rule to dictate how much is spent on the ring. I'm fortunate enough to be making a decent living and not have any debt except for student loans, but I much rather throw money down on a nice house we can live in together instead of a 1 bedroom apt I live in now.

I'm really lucky that my lady has not set any obligation on me, and I'm sure would like whatever I picked out.

I'm in the process of saving money now, so I was wondering what my goal should be. Sounds like it is whatever I can save until I feel is the right time to do it.

scl23

2 months salary = $20k? Yikes. Hell no I'll pay that for a stinking ring. I'll get her a nice $500 CZ ring and spend the rest on the honeymoon.

kwelity

Why when I read pilsbury's post I had flashes of the movie "thank you for smoking" flash in my mind.

hopefully if you are marrying this woman you know her well enough to know the type of things she likes and her tastes. So buy according to that and what you budget and income allows.

Street Spirit

Yep. Get her something she will enjoy and something you feel is reasonable, then remember there will always be better places to throw some of that extra money.

Price out something (or a few different ones) you think she'd like and go from there. That should give you some idea.

SG81

iTrader: (1)

Jebus some of you are saying around 8k

i need another job

Erz

Ive heard 8k

EuRTSX

5-7k.

Infamous425

SupaRookie

That is some crazy price for engangement ring...

Will Y.

My fiance received an engagement ring which was much less than 2 mos. of my salary; she liked it anyway and still married me (no accounting for tastes ...). My wife wears the engagement ring every so often, but it usually sits in a box or on a shelf somewhere.
My best friend bought a $2K or $3K ring for his bride, as that was what he could afford. His bride didn't mind, although she was born with a silver spoon and pulled down good $$ even then as a partner-track accountant at one of the Big Four.
Oh, and cliffnotes on PillsburyChoboy's post: The X-month salary was conceived and marketed by DeBeers.

blackglass

It's symbolic, so don't get caught up in the price as much as the meaning. Buy what you think she wants (or know) and what you can reasonably afford.

BustedJack

If I were to buy a ring, my 2 months of salary would make her have a good 4C over 5carat big. No fucking way I'd get any woman on this planet that kinda ring. It's a true waste of money.

PillsburyChoboy

What I hate most is the entitlement most gals have (not my GF but living in NYC, it rarely ceases to amaze me how self-absorbed, me-me-me, and superficial some people can be) ... it's like gals actually believe that they "deserve" or "earn" a ring for waiting for the guy to propose. They see the wedding as the finish line and the ring as the well-deserved trophy.

It's disgusting. My roomie is a gal who's on the cusp of engagement and SHE is contacting several jewelers throughout the city, working with the salespeople, and finding the "perfect", custom-made ring. She sent me a sample jpg and it's mind-boggling (around 10-12k, and that's on the low-end of people I know) ... almost sickening how gaudy the thing is. And then when the time comes, she wants me to "hint" to her BF that this is the kind of ring she wants. Poor guy ... he's slowly but surely beginning to realize that her true colors are shining through (volatile, needy, materialistic, passive-aggressive, emotional, etc.).

And when I asked her why she wanted such a laughable monstrosity, her immediate reaction wasn't "because I want him to show me how much he loves me" or "because I like big, shiny things" but instead, "Didn't you see _______'s engagment ring? I want mine to be nicer." At that moment, I laughed in her face and shooed her away.

tdhillon

i don't think theres a rule, but it depends on what you think she's like. I don't even know why its a diamond you have to get a woman, whatever happened to the other precious stones. I say, De Beers has done an amazing job brainwashing people.

Erz

haha, good luck with that...

kwelity

I may have had to ask her what the five fingers said to the face...............chicks like that disgust me...................

Erz

that's funny why?

You may hate girls with bad teeth, but girls hate cheap guys more

Mike 350Z

Regardless of price, where do people buy engagement rings from? Tiffany's, Zales, Kay? Diamond at one place, ring at another place? I've always wondered that.

Infamous425

funny because your bf is a member of this board and he has to read that he must spend at least 8k on a ring or you will hate him for being cheap.

03silvertypeS

Personally, I've always had the opinion of get a real ring to begin with. I hate seeing a tiny little spec of a diamond on a girl's hand with the idea "we can upgrade later." Take your time and do it right to begin with and there is no need to buy another one down the road. By this I mean, don't go to Wal-Mart and buy some tiny little spec of a diamond for $50 and expect someone to accept that as a token of your love for them. If you only love them enough to spend $50 on some cheap POS...I hate to imagine what the marriage is going to end up like. As far as buying something you can afford, you can afford just about anything as long as you take the necessary steps in order to do so. It's all about saving and budgeting your money and making this a top priority. I'm not going so say how much I spent on my girl's ring, but it was appraised at $7150 when I bought it in Nov '05. I bought it from my brother-in-law's cousin who is a jeweler and picked out the center stone and setting seperately. This is the best/most cost effective way to go. As far as size goes, I would go at least 1/2ct and plan to spend around $3k-5k. Keep in mind that you can always finance it as well if necessary.

My advice to you is simple:

1.) Start saving up money now (especially if you're thinking about asking her in the near future).

2.) Shop around, sometimes with her. See what she likes/dislikes (cut, accents, design, etc) Get business cards with the design # written on the back and keep them in a safe place so you have a reference point for when you actually buy the ring.

3.) Talk to some actual jewelers (not the sales reps at chains like Kays, Tiffany's, etc. Try to find a private jeweler that sells GIA, AGS, and/or EGL certified gemstones. Tell them what you are looking for and about how much you are willing to spend. If you can, provide them with pictures from the other stores (Jared, Helzberg, etc) with pricing so he/she can see what others are charging. This is where those business cards come in handy, go to the websites and print out pics of the rings she liked. They should be able to make one with a better diamond for less money and the diamond will be certified.

4.) Talk to her Dad, let him know that you are planning on asking his daughter to marry you and make sure you have his blessing/permission (this makes everything else a LOT easier).

5.) Think of a creative/romantic way to ask her and make an entire day or evening out of it. It is going to be night she will always remember so make it REALLY count (don't ask her on the Jaws ride when Jaws pops out of the water).

Will Y.

Most get the ring and diamond at the same place. The retail mall stores are the worst places to get the rings- too much $ for inferior stones.
As 03silvertypeS says, learn about diamonds (or whatever stones are being sought for the ring) and go to real jewelers. They will also custom make settings/rings with certified stones (my wedding ring with 3 tiny diamonds is custom made; my wife's engagement ring is adapted to her solitaire round diamond while her wedding band with eensy-weensy diamonds was off the rack).
Otherwise, Costco FTW nowadays!

sasha

There is no requirement on the price of an engagement ring. It all boils down to how much you earn as a living and how much you are willing to spare for a ring, keeping in mind that you will still spend a lot of money on wedding, honeymoon, house, etc.. For example, a 1.5-carat F or IF diamond with D/E color worth 20-30k might be nothing to a millionaire, but a 1.0-carat VVS1/VVS2 diamond with F/G color worth 8-10k might be a burden to an Average Joe.

You also have to consider the size of the girl's finger and her taste in jewelry when determining the size. The price of the rock increases exponentially when you go from 0.75 (starting 5k) to 1.0 carat (around 10k), so you can get something a little bit smaller than 1.0 carat without paying so much. You also should start canvassing the difference in prices among various stores.

If you think you have found "the one", just start saving a few hundred dollars each month and within 1 year, you'll have the means to cover substantially the price of an engagement ring.

yuhoo22

Thanks for the advice everyone.....

I've got a pretty good idea of what I think she likes/wants, so saving is what I've been doing/continue doing. I think I have a good idea of how I want to propose already....and of course I will speak to her dad before it all goes down.

mypoorTSX

good thing i don't have to buy an engagement ring. my 2 mths salary is utterly pitiful.

doopstr

Get her something that looks good on her finger. Too big or too small just won't look right.

Remember, the appearance of her ring is basically a reflection on you. Don't look like a bum. I'm not saying to spend a lot of money. Just get something that looks right.

furious1smitul

I'm with everyone else, figure out what kind of rings she already wears (cuts, bands etc...) and use that to determine what ring you should purchase. Most of my friends that got married recently ended up spending anywhere from $5-$8k on their wives' rings.

BustedJack

Mike 350Z

Nicky Pass

Why the fuck can't women buy us something big in order to to justify me buying a shiney rock. I say I get a whipple charger for my Cobra....she gets a ring....
....wait...they are the same price, I'll buy my thing and she can by a ring!

...I'm scarred of marrige!