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How to identify a lesbian?

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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 09:31 AM
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How to identify a lesbian?

I have a couple female friends who are straight(they go out with a couple of my male friends) and they play softball in a bar league. I go to there games a few times a week, because they are entertaining and they like the fact that someone is there to support them, etc... Well there is one player who I have grown fond of, however I can not tell if she's straight or not.

I figured she was a lesbian upon first seeing her, so I just watched(her) and didn't think anything of it. Well at the last game she screamed over to me(I was unaware she knew who I was) that we have the same birthday- which was the day before the game last week. We both wished each other a happy birthday then she had to go up to bat, so I couldn't say anything more . But when she was running to the outfield, she was giving me "that look", you know the look when they want to They had a meeting after the game and then everyone left....

So next week I am going to talk to her, but am unsure if she's straight or not! I've asked both the girls I know on the team and they are trying to help me out but are also unsure. Further, does it matter? I've discovered a long time ago the trick to getting laid is not trying to get laid. With this approach even if she is a lesbian we could still be friends, if she's not then

So has anyone else ever been in this situation? Any advice?
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 09:38 AM
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If she kept looking at you I would say she isn't a carpet licker
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 11:07 AM
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Does she work at FedEx or UPS?
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 11:22 AM
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Does she wear flannel and drive a subaru?
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 11:37 AM
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Originally Posted by JimmyCarter
Does she wear flannel and drive a subaru?
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by JimmyCarter
Does she wear flannel and drive a subaru?
See alot of them with MULLETS here.
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 11:48 AM
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Originally Posted by 1killercls
See alot of them with MULLETS here.

If that was the case I would think he wouldn't need this post to figure it out
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 12:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Tireguy
I have a couple female friends who are straight(they go out with a couple of my male friends) and they play softball in a bar league. I go to there games a few times a week, because they are entertaining and they like the fact that someone is there to support them, etc... Well there is one player who I have grown fond of, however I can not tell if she's straight or not.

I figured she was a lesbian upon first seeing her, so I just watched(her) and didn't think anything of it. Well at the last game she screamed over to me(I was unaware she knew who I was) that we have the same birthday- which was the day before the game last week. We both wished each other a happy birthday then she had to go up to bat, so I couldn't say anything more . But when she was running to the outfield, she was giving me "that look", you know the look when they want to They had a meeting after the game and then everyone left....

So next week I am going to talk to her, but am unsure if she's straight or not! I've asked both the girls I know on the team and they are trying to help me out but are also unsure. Further, does it matter? I've discovered a long time ago the trick to getting laid is not trying to get laid. With this approach even if she is a lesbian we could still be friends, if she's not then

So has anyone else ever been in this situation? Any advice?
Where is this? What bar is the league run through?
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 12:28 PM
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i dated a girl that later became a lesbian. makes me feel reeeaaaallll good
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 12:30 PM
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Ask if she has a friend.
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 12:55 PM
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does she have beard?
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 12:55 PM
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dude, just ask her out on a date. what's the worst gonna happen?
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Chinisimo
dude, just ask her out on a date. what's the worst gonna happen?
Possible transexual...
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 02:39 PM
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ask if she likes helmet.
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 04:11 PM
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Normally I can tell pretty easily, but this one has me confused. Pro's she's really cute, takes good care of herself(in great shape, tanned, highlights, long hair), friendly/out going and doesn't hate men. Con's she's undeniably the best player on the team and she drives a newer firebird. She doesn't have any fans that come to the game, men or woman, I would think if she had a significant other he/she would come to at least one game.

Either way I am going to talk to her at the next game, but this is a bit enigmatic to me. I've never had to figure out if someone was straight or not! I am really good friends with one of the girls on the team and she can't tell either- some say she's a lesbo, other's say she's straight but it seems nobody knows for sure. It really would be something to convert a lesbian
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 04:45 PM
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maybe bi-sexual...

just ask her out and eventually you will find out...
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 05:13 PM
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just ask her out, and if she shoots you down don't be a prick about it. But really, who cares if she is a lesbo or not, you can still go out and do things without fucking her. I had lots of gay friends when I lived in Atlanta and we went out all the time. If you and her get along well, great, and if she turns out to be a lesbian then maybe she can turn you on to one of her cute bi friends, or maybe you can try to convert her back?
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 06:54 PM
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Originally Posted by gary_william
just ask her out, and if she shoots you down don't be a prick about it. But really, who cares if she is a lesbo or not, you can still go out and do things without fucking her. I had lots of gay friends when I lived in Atlanta and we went out all the time. If you and her get along well, great, and if she turns out to be a lesbian then maybe she can turn you on to one of her cute bi friends, or maybe you can try to convert her back?

That is my plan.

It just seemed this could have been an interesting discussion or perhaps a few funny stories could have been shared, but I guess not.
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 07:06 PM
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Find some activity that is "neutral ground" including something benign like grabbing a bite to eat at a nearby diner after the game, and just see if you enjoy spending time with her and vice-versa. First time out doesn't have to be .....anything more than an opportunity to know her. If she is interested in you as a friend, that will become apparent; if she is interested in you as a guy, she will probably tip her hand somewhere along the line.

And yup, there are steriotype lesbos (around here they tend to drive Toyota pickups or Subarus and wear Birkenstocks and bib overalls), but there are also some stunniing and utterly classically feminine women who prefer women...... (and I also know some birkinstock Subaru drivers who are happily married to a guy........with no taste). Had a friend for many years who was lesbian, and asked me to "step in" at various office functions and social settings until she decided to just "come out"........

and, as has been noted, she may be bi, or bi-curious, or whatever...... in any case, she sounds interesting and hot. What do you have to loose?
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 07:22 PM
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This is gay...Just ask the bitch.
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 07:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Xenogen
This is gay...Just ask the bitch.

Glad to see your still alive

I have full intention of asking her, in case you missed it. But I wouldn't mind joining her for a fur burger either way.

I am shocked more of you guys don't have lesbian stories.
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Tireguy
I am shocked more of you guys don't have lesbian stories.
Ive got some...but I doubt alot of guys would have any because...well at least to me, hot lesbians are hard to come by. You would figure the reason that most are lesbians because they're too ugly to get a man. I dont know.
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 09:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Chinisimo
dude, just ask her out on a date. what's the worst gonna happen?
Exactally, you might get lucky and get some 3 action
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 10:29 PM
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This whole gay thing is about dick and pussy. It's simple as that. Some people prefer the hotdog and other people prefer the taco. Can you find a straight effeminate man or masculine female? Hell yeah. They do exist. You could always purchase a strap-on or a fake poontang. But I guess it just isn't as good as the real thing. If you are gay please don't be offended, aight. It's just one man's opinion.

Simple solution: Ask her, "So does your boyfriend come out to see you play softball?" Confidence is key. This is the source of the "act like you aren't trying to get laid" thing. Because if you talk to her with confidence (not egotistical or narcissistic), you will come off looking good. She'll know if she doesn't jump on the chance with you, then some other chic might swoop in and get you. Worst thing is that she says no, but then at least you have a hot lesbian friend who can be your wingwoman.
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Old Jun 12, 2005 | 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by txathlete
Confidence is key. This is the source of the "act like you aren't trying to get laid" thing. Because if you talk to her with confidence (not egotistical or narcissistic), you will come off looking good.
Stop giving people my advice damn it.
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Old Jun 13, 2005 | 12:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Xenogen
Ive got some...but I doubt alot of guys would have any because...well at least to me, hot lesbians are hard to come by. You would figure the reason that most are lesbians because they're too ugly to get a man. I dont know.


I hope you don't really believe that. I know some very good looking lesbians, and they're lesbians because that's just how they feel. This conversion thing doesn't exist. She is what she is. My guess is you've probably got a bisexual girl on your hands here. Did you know that women have a MUCH higher percentage of being bi than guys? Guys, it's either straight or gay, barely any in between. And guys are more rigid in their sexuality. You never hear of gay guys going after pussy or straight guys going for dick. It just doesn't work that way. We all know how we are as guys, sex is mostly physical.

For women, sex is usually about emotions and feelings. So if a woman is emotionally attracted to another woman, she might even enjoy the sex.

I know a guy who's straight, but he really loves his best friend, who's also a guy and who happens to be gay. He gets jealous when his friend is out with a boyfriend instead of him. But he would never ever think of doing anything sexual with his best friend, even if he's been treated badly by women and has an emotional attachment (almost obsession) with another guy. It's a weird situation.
Sometimes you get the women who are really bisexual but dont know it, and then swear off men when they get treated badly by a man. Then there are the straight girls who swear off men and try to be lesbians (even though they have NO sexual attraction to women inside their minds), just out of spite.

Oh, I forgot to dispense my advice. The only way you will know if she's a lesbian is to be out with it and ask her, but not directly cause that's sorta rude. Just mention something about lesbians sometime when you're talking with her. Make something up to bring it up. Say something like, "You remind me of my friend Jessica. I haven't seen her since her and her girlfriend moved to Canada to get married." I dunno. I have a hard time spotting lesbians too. How ironic.
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Old Jun 13, 2005 | 12:08 AM
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Originally Posted by youngTL
Hence my I dont know comment...
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Old Jun 13, 2005 | 09:15 AM
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Dude, don't even ask if she's gay or not. Just ask her out for some grub. Feel out the environment. Eventually, you can bring up the "lesbian theory" thing to her and you will both have a good laugh about it. Until that time, be yourself and hook it up. You'll find out soon enough if she's a lesbian or not.
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Old Jun 13, 2005 | 09:30 AM
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Originally Posted by wck3
Dude, don't even ask if she's gay or not. Just ask her out for some grub. Feel out the environment. Eventually, you can bring up the "lesbian theory" thing to her and you will both have a good laugh about it. Until that time, be yourself and hook it up. You'll find out soon enough if she's a lesbian or not.

That was what I was thinking, at worst we become friends- nothing wrong with that. She seems pretty cool from what little I know of her.
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Old Jun 13, 2005 | 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Tireguy
That was what I was thinking, at worst we become friends- nothing wrong with that. She seems pretty cool from what little I know of her.
Yeah I guess she'll tell you herself if she is or not. If she makes the moves on you then you're in luck, and if you become friends then hey, that's good too.
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Old Jun 13, 2005 | 10:29 AM
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Why do you think she is a lesbian? Do you go around thinking every girl you meet or see is a lesbian? I don't think that thought ever crosses my mind, unless someone really looks like the stereotypical lesbian, in which case I would have no interest anyways.
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Old Jun 13, 2005 | 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Mr.Fiddizzle
Why do you think she is a lesbian? Do you go around thinking every girl you meet or see is a lesbian? I don't think that thought ever crosses my mind, unless someone really looks like the stereotypical lesbian, in which case I would have no interest anyways.

It was mentioned to me that she was, she plays softball(a feeding ground for those who munch carpet) and she drives a Firebird(not as bad a subaru, but close). I normally don't go around thinking girls are lesbians, but there are a lot of lesbians that play in this league. Several are married, others are dating and some are just playing the carpet covered field. Most of them are all really cool, so its a non-issue. However, there are a few who are straight and I if she is it could be a lot of fun. With the whole lipstick variety out there its hard to tell now adays.
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Old Jun 14, 2005 | 10:23 PM
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Whether she is a lesbian or not shouldn't even enter your mind. I know so many girls who do it both ways. It's more about what you are into. Just be cool with her but don't miss a chance when it strikes. The whole acting like you don't want it is just to keep from being sleazy in the beginning. Once you get the "vibe" from the girl, you have to move in like a swarm of flies on doodoo.
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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 12:43 PM
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Just ask her out on a date. If she says she's interested, then go for it. If she says she is gay, then that sucks for you.

Or just try for a 3-way.
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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 03:56 PM
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Well seeing as how I was in this situation about a year ago I can give ya some advice. My current gf before we started dating was actually completely lesbian and had never done anything with a guy until we started going out. So even if she is a lesbian that isn't to say that she still might not like you. So what I'm getting at is to just go up and talk to her and ask her if she just wants to chill. If she is looking at you how she says she is maybe your the lucky guy to cross her over to the good side lol.
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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 04:20 PM
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They have a game this evening and I am going to see what happens. Thanks for an interesting discussion everyone!
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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 04:48 PM
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Good luck man and let us know how it goes.
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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 05:17 PM
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Waiting for details mang...
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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 09:44 PM
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She wasn't there, she had her tonsil's removed

She will be back though in a week or two, so hope is not lost!
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Old Jun 15, 2005 | 11:06 PM
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just run your usual game. she'll let you know if she swings the other side, otherwise, she might invite some of her friends...
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