SDCGTSX

Ok, here's the fine mess I got myself into. I made 2 big mistakes, 1) I hooked up multiple times (including sex) with a girl who is a friend of a guy friend of mine 2) my guy friend sort of likes her.

Well, we met while going to a bar together, we fooling around the first night and graduated to having sex 4 nights in a row. Well, after my little head was satisfied, my big head figured out what a fine mess I was in. She' very emotionally needy (calls and text mgs ALL the time), has a 9 yo daughter (she's 34), and my friend sort of still likes her. I'm in no mood for a relationship and just want a no attached fling but somehow girls just don't like this set-up as much as I do. So a week ago, I talked to her and said "I think it'd be best if we didn't hang out together for a while." Anyhow I thought that would be the end of that.

Yesterday she text msg me "Hey, I was wondering how you are doing." I did't msg or call back. Today she text msgs me "You are so polite SDCGTSX!" (My name anyhow). I want to call her and tell her to stop calling or msging me but she still hangs out with my friend and I'm afraid I'll run into her again. And I don't want an enemy, I just want her to lose all interest in me without being mad. I don't like having people mad at me. It's a little HS of me but not sure what to do.

What can I do to diffuse the situation? I'm usually just good at making a mess and then leaving it a mess. I usually never see these girls that I hook up with again after the fact. I don't do so good at gracious endings to these situations nicely...

Xenogen

Dude...you should know this...act like you dont know her. Shes not even your friend...who gives a shit if she gets mad at you.

Edr0e

Id be careful. Sounds like this girl will try to turn your friend against you...

Desperation leads to many things.

Xenogen

Then I wouldnt call that a friend.

SDCGTSX

I'm not worried about him hating me (maybe secretly he resents my action. I regret having done it myself). But he still wants to hang out with her since I think he wants his turn. So I'm not so worried about him so much as I want her to go away.

The best ideas I had so far is to just fart a lot in front of her. Nothing like grossing out a girl 3rd grade style to turn her off from you forever.

JimmyCarter

Hit on her daughter...she'll get away from you reeeeal quick

CJams

tell them, "I don't want to be with you anymore" while ballet dancing

spidey07

jeez, what's so hard?

never return calls or any contact. She'll get the hint (hopefully)

youngTL

If you're ever at the same place at the same time, ignore her as she talks to your face, and talk about the hot girl "over there" (pick some random girl you think is hot...there's no better blow to a woman's self esteem than to tell her that you find another girl hotter). Say, "wow, she's way hotter than you!" Then start making sexist comments. That will piss her off royally, and she'll forget about you soon.

Xenogen

Is that how you piss off gay dudes too?

youngTL

No, it's more difficult than that. Tell a gay guy that he's such an ugly fag that he'll never get to have sex and should spend the rest of his life dressed in drag. That'll do it. The bad thing is, that a gay dude is still a dude and could potentially kick my ass. I'm not afraid of most women and some men, but some of the butch lesbians and some gay guys are very scary. There's this one guy I know named Brendan. About an inch taller than me, and 245lbs of solid muscle. I don't want to insult someone like that!

Xenogen

You are by far the most informative person I know on here.

youngTL

sorry SDGCTSX

SDCGTSX

I want to see you do this in person. That's be hilarious. Being crass does rule.

bmoreTLS

"(chicks name)" I'm sorry for misleading you thinking that I wanted the same thing you wanted out of this, but the truth is clear now that I don't want any part of you. We need to let each other go at this point, and there will be no more communication between the two of us. There isn't anyone here to blame, it was just a few nights of fun. So again, please don't call me or send me any more messages and I'll refrain from doing the same.

Thank you in advance for respecting my wishes.

crb-silver-tl

Let me see if I have got this correct......

You are trying to tell a woman that you had sex with that you don't want her anymore and you are looking for a way to do this WITHOUT her getting upset about it.

Sorry pal. Its not going to happen. She is going to be upset about it because she will feel used. Part of the problem is that she is a single mother. Single mothers generally look at guys in a different way. Hooking up for a single mom carries a lot more meaning.

To quote Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding) from Jerry Maguire... You hijacked the pootie. There is no way you will be able to tell her to buzz off with out her getting upset. Therefore, you should be blunt. Something along the lines of:

Thanks for the good time that we had, but I really don't want to see you any more.

Good luck.

Shoofin

I wouldn't ignore her, it'll just come back to bite you in the ass later on. I'd do what nobody else said to do: Be honest.
Ed

SDCGTSX

Thanks, I was thinking the same thing. The Jerry McGuire thing. I shouldn't have stolen the pootie. And the ignoring thing isn't working. But I'll give it another week and see. But I get the feeling the ignoring is just giving her time to plan her Fatal Attraction style infiltration so she can find a pot large enough for my dog...

Andrea25

Yah she's gonna be upset no matter what you say....

But if you're straight up and not a dick about it, she'll eventually cool off and will get over it...

*as a girl who has been in that situation, yah i was steamed when it happened to me...but eventually i was able to look back and think of the guy positively as he was honest and wasn't a jackass...it was just my own hurt feelings and bruised ego...

Andrea25

but if she starts stalking you after you tell her the honest truth....then you are within your rights to be a dick to her...

Edr0e

Yeah, my bet is when you tell her the truth, your buddy is gonna be up to bat.

Shes a single mother not many guys willing to take on that responsibility.
I wouldnt be surprised if your buddy dissapears for a while... '
If your buddy keeps it chill, and acts like nothing is wrong, then hes your roll dogg and shes a smart girl thats just as much of a player as you are


Worst thing that can happen, your friend gets sprung. Next thing you know he resents you guys ever knew each other etc etc... all down hill from there.

Secret Agent

Would you want someone to treat your "sister" like that...probably NOT..

Secret Agent

That's better than most replies I've seen. Although you could add..."I'm sorry I used you...I wouldn't want that to happen to my sister...maybe I'll grow up a little and start respecting others more.."

Gixxster

Xenogen

Seeing that I dont have a sister...I cant tell you, but if I did have a sister...she wouldnt ever end up in a situation like that...

Titand19

dude tell her you used to be a woman

ric

aw jeez, just be straight-up with her, tell her you thought you were having a no-strings attached fling that was sweet for a few booty calls and that if she thought it was a romance leading to a white picket fence and a matching bedroom set, you're sorry. You did "use" her rather inadvertently, and an apology is in order.


The challenge you face is that if she is as "needy" as you describe, she may not give up so easily, and you may be faced with her random efforts to recharge the relationship from time to time.

SDCGTSX

I took the cowards way out by ignoring her and it seems to have worked. No messages or phone messages in the last 5 days. She did creepishly come by my friend's house a few times which is 2 blocks over from mine and snooped for a few minutes and left. During the time we were hooking up, she would call my friend to check up on me if she called and I didn't call back.

SDCGTSX

On a side note, I went into the bank today to do some banking transactions and was chatting it up with the asst. manager who is a pretty cute blonde girl about my age. Got her to waive like $100 of fees that I've accumulated over the last month. Gotta love getting freebies for flirting.

I do have a decent but not that big of a bank account there so she had some ulterior motive but I thanked her and told her that I'd have to repay her by buying her a few beers and she said "yeah that'd be nice" so I think I'm in the door. Her job's gotta be a good way to meet guys with money that come in the bank.

Edr0e

Shes knows your account balance of course...

youngTL

SDCGTSX

Yeah, now you understand my cynicism when it comes to women. They do treat you differently when they know you have a little money. I swear, all the girls at the bank know me by my first name and some of them I have never talked to in my life. Those girls talk about their customers it seems. And whenever I'm making a deposit or whatever, they want to know what I do for a living, what kind of business my company is, etc. I have to make sizeable cashier's checks in the 6-7 digit range out from my company when we purchase buildings and all of a sudden I start looking "hot."

sasha

Fair trade when men just look at women as sexual objects.

SDCGTSX

That's an unfair statement. The truth is all men look at some women as sex objects, and some men look at all women as sex objects, but not all men look at all women as sex objects. Some women have to be the fat cleaning ladies you know.