So how do you get a shy girl to talk? I'm trying to get to know this girl a little better but I can't get a good conversation going. I try to talk to her and she doesn't seem to be into it. And let's just assume the reason isn't because she thinks I'm a tool. Any advice?

 

What are her interests? The first rule about conversation: People like to talk about themselves. Find out what her interests are and ask her some questions.

 

why would you assume that? maybe you're not a tool, but maybe she's a lesbian and doesn't want to talk to guys?

 

because I'm pretty sure she doesn't think I'm a tool, I think she's just shy around me

 

I've been working on that, but it's slow going. She doesn't talk much so if I just keep asking questions it sounds like an interview.

 

If you ask her some questions about something she's really interested in and still doesn't talk, she does think you're a tool.

 

^ ok, let's get past this tool business that I obviously shouldn't have included in my op and get to the advice

 

Does she open up more in group settings? Does she have any female friends in the office? Geez, this sounds so high school.

 

yeah, that's about my maturity level.

I guess I'm just having a hard time describing the situation. I can talk to most girls just fine but I'm just hitting a wall with this one. And I'm pretty sure she likes me enough based on other things that aren't really relevant to you guys.

 

Be careful, once she starts talking.....

 

Everything is relevant to us!! Without all the details, we cannot provide adequate and/or accurate advice.
Exactly what I was thinking. Most guys are asking "How do you get a girl to STFU?"

 

no joke... but I'm not in that far, I can always bail.

 

You don't. You learn to tune out.

 

I was just trying to keep this simple, no need for the whole story.

i guess I'll just work on trying to make her feel comfortable enough to talk.

 

and

you took the words right out of my mouth... on BOTH counts!

 

tell her to drink some wine or beer, then she'll start talking!

 

I'm going to attempt to get her liquored up Fri. so we'll see.

 

Why bother?

Don't put all your eggs in one basket, at least.

EDIT: but, build rapport - if that doesn't work, and it seems it hasn't, I'd stop even trying to talk to her and move on with my life.

 

He says there is more to the story. My guess is she dragged him into the janitor's closet and blew him, but she wants nothing more from him than a mouthfull of warm pearl jam.

 

normally I would, but there's something about this one that makes me willing to work a little harder.

 

I've dated a few shy gals in my lifetime. In fact, my current GF (and future wife) is quite shy. She's the type to only open up when she is around people she knows well...

My tips to getting a shy girl to speak:
- Buy her a drink (i.e. fruity cocktail since girls like them); I'm never an advocate to get your date drunk but a bit of something to help open someone up has its benefits.
- Ask her lots of questions. Stay interested and ask her about what she enjoys doing on her spare time, travelling, restaurants, etc. etc.
- Try to be witty and make her smile, giggle, or even laugh. Tell her something funny happened to you (and no, don't talk about the stupid stunt you pulled while you were stoned and or drunk cuz that really impresses no one except idiots). Laughter is one of the best ways to open someone up.
- Take her somewhere (i.e. play, performance) that you know she'll enjoy to get her to talk about it afterwards when you two sit down.

Anyhow...hope those help. They worked for me...

 

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Yumchah again.

I tried. Thanks for an actual serious answer, I figured I'd get one sooner or later.

 

make her laugh first

 

NP, dude. If the girl is worth it in your mind, then keep at it...she'll eventually lower her shield.

That being said, also know when it is a lost cause and that perhaps she isn't into you perhaps. Getting women is never an easy job (unless you're BustedJack or pgatour1)...

 

I repped him for you.



Laughter usually works. If she's interested but shy then she's probably intimidated by you. Try to put her at ease. Talk about things she likes, make the conversation light. Try to ask her questions but in a casual way, you don't want her defensive. Usually an activity is better than a one-on-one dinner, some experience you two can share. Minature golfing was always a good option for me.

 

Dude you better post pics because she must be hot. I wouldn't put in that much effort for a single girl who won't open up to me. It's just too weird.

 

even if it's slow as long as I make some progress I'll keep working, if not... i'm out.

 

some guys have to work harder than others

and yes she's hot

 

 

I agree with those who said make her laugh. Nothing like laughter to put someone at ease. Not only that, but a good sense of humor is way, way up there on my list of important qualities in a guy.

Good luck!

 

don't ban me, but don't get your hopes up. that's why i was trying to keep this general. I'm not one to post a lot of details about personal stuff...

 

Its all good.

 

Whoa. Hey man...you couldn't rep me for my kick@$$ answer. So, the least you could do is post her pic.

 

laughter is key. I usually just make an ass out of myself and dont even care. That usually starts something up. I like to talk about family and I ask her about siblings, parents, and upbringing. Show her you're remotely interested in her. keep her talking about herself, bc who doesn't like talking about themselves?

but yea, is she worth it? usually if some chick doesnt open up to me in about 30 min of chillin, there's no point, and it looks like you're trying too hard.

 

make her laugh, that will make her feel comfortable enough to open up.....END OF STORY

 

As long as you're making progress I don't see a reason to stop.

I wouldn't risk letting a great girl get away because she was shy and slow to open up. Good girls are hotter than all.

 

yea make her laugh...tickle her if u have to...ive gotten plenty of action just by tickling a girl...it makes her laugh, shows her im much stronger (which most girls like), and breaks the touching barrier

 

Yumchah pretty much said it all. But a very key thing is make her laugh. Do something to make her smile. Sometimes even the cheesiest of things make girls smile. Try it out.. and good luck!

 

wow, yeah i definately missed the second page of this. my bad.

 

well "be funny" sounds like it's risen to the top. At least that's easier to work on then "look good".