JJ4Short

So my friend is taking me to a bar and making me hit on chicks. I have never done this in my life and I have no idea what to do.

Do I pull the normal black guy stuff...
"Ay Bay Bay!" Then a swift smack of the ass
"Ay Gull! Let me get your number" then a swift smack of the ass
"Ay!" then grab her arm and pull her over to me

White guy stuff
"Can I buy you a drink" Then follow her around the whole night
"You look delightful" Then dance with her off beat

Asian guy stuff
???
Give her a free sample of burbon chicken?

LOL I dunno just curious as to what you guys do. I am not trying to really find anyone and will most likely not do it since I find yelling at a girl in a loud club annoying to say the least but what do you guys do?

Whiskers

Is the black guy a pirate?

bkknight369

Yumcha

Picking up girls @ bar = watching Chicago Bears attempt to rush the football = futility...

JJ4Short

exactly. The friend that wants me to go is a friend of 10 years, great girl, so I asked her "Have you ever talked to a guy you gave your number to at a bar?" Her answer was no but there are girls who do it.

So I want to hear some non skanky non mutual friends total stranger stories of getting a chick at a bar because I think it is impossible damn it!

nicholbr

print out business cards with your name, cell phone number and "14 inches, disease free" on it.

It'll be like Casual Encounters on Craigslist every day of the week!

JJ4Short

http://www.youtube.com/v/ySbXw8AHlKM&rel=1

"Now when I holla ay bay bay, its time to get my grove on, its so hot up in the club I got my shoes off"

Whiskers

Are you at the bar now?

JJ4Short

No I will be on Friday, liquored up.

Whiskers

well, I have no clue...I haven't dated since George Bush Sr. was in office...

amisconception

Here's my basic, quick, and simple guide...

Your attitude is probably going to be the most important thing going for you. If you're carefree, energetic, and most importantly - fun - you're ten steps ahead of a lame pick up line and a douchebag haircut.

Look the part, though. Dress well, smell well, etc. Feel good about yourself.

Drink to loosen up if you're a drinker, but don't over consume otherwise you'll be incapable of holding any sort of conversation. I find that after 3-4 stiff drinks I start to lose my ability to form sentences... Not the most attractive thing in the world.

Can you dance? You're black so I'll assume yes.

approaching at a bar: "hi" "have you been here before?" then just go from there. VERY simple stuff. if you suck at starting conversations look for things in your environment to talk about. ask her questions and get her to talk about herself. most women can talk about themselves forever. use what she says as conversational ammo. then, as you build some light rapport, gauge her interest and ask her for her number or isolate her from her friends... you want to escalate the situation into a sexual advance but you have to make her comfortable with you first.

approaching at a club: if you see a girl, and you think she looks good, the best advice is to just walk up to her and strike a quick, lighthearted conversation using your environment again for ammo. if she looks at you and maintains eye contact, smile a bit and just go over to her and talk. again, use your environment for conversational ammo (or your wit, whatever), gauge her interest, say a couple things, and ask her to dance. take it from there.

this stuff is super basic but overcoming your FEAR of approaching is what's going to be 1.) the difficult part and 2.) simultaneously the most attractive element.

confidence in your ability to have a simple, fun, light hearted conversation is what will set you apart from the "ay bay bay" crowd.

JJ4Short

Good shit didn't expect a real response.

amisconception

It's definitely not impossible!

Here's one example: I was at a club with about 5 friends. We were ALL drinking and having a great time bullshitting as guys do. I would strike conversations with groups of girls, and just joke around. I would introduce myself and a couple of my friends if they were around and just use whatever I could in my environment to say something and interact with them. Sometimes I'd treat these girls like bratty 12 year olds that I just liked messing with. It's just about having fun, that's my attitude. Well, toward the end of the night one girl was really into me and my carefree attitude and practically begged me to dance. She couldn't stop talking to me while dancing so I told her let's go somewhere else...

I took her hand and led her to the club's lobby and we started making out... I could have escalated it further but my friend's were leaving and they were my ride. I took down her number (incorrectly, lol) and gave her mine. She called me the next day and you can guess where it goes from here.

amisconception

If you SIT at a bar and engage NO ONE - then yes, picking up a chick at a bar or club is impossible.

dreem1er

iTrader: (2)

i think the asian pick up line would work like a charm.....

Pull_T

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27CNqGMP-lk

THTL

iTrader: (2)

And may i ask what would that be?

dreem1er

iTrader: (2)

well it wasn't a pick line but it may work....read first post to find out....

Mike 350Z

Touch her arm when you first start talking to her. It'll let her guard down and show her you're a manly man.

But if you SET OUT with the task of hitting on women, it isn't gonna work unless there's a gun to your head (hey now there's a good idea!). But seriously back in my single days (incase she reads this ) the most success I had with girls at bars was when i was with a ton of friends and not really paying much attention to anyone else but ourselves. So I was able to be myself and not try too hard to talk to girls because I always had something better to go back to.

Mizouse

maybe watch a few episodes of the pickup artist?

i need to learn as well

JJ4Short

I actually want to plow the chick who is trying to hook me up with these chicks. The one that has me out at the club. We have been friends for 10 years and normally I wouldn't even try to pass friend zone but hot damn she gives those crotch hugs and all the time. It kills me. Slept over the other night and I wake up and she hugs me and she hugs me and makes me eggs. I told her the other day I wanted to be more then friends...she won't let it happen! BTW she dated a white boy for the last 5 years and is going on a date this thursday with another white boy...UGH! THE WHITE MAN HAS BEATEN ME AGAIN! I'll get you next time!

SiGGy

Wow, 1st off are you already outgoing? If you're shy you need to work on the outgoing dept. before you even attempt this.

Are you awkward? You know... pne of those people who says shit that quiets the room? It'll be another thing you need to work on.

Somehow I knew you wanted to bang the friend as I was reading all of this... sounds like your shy. If you really want that to happen wait until you are both kinda tipsy and make a move to kiss her. But be sure this is what you want before you go and do it. It's all about timing!

It's very simple, girls like guys who are confident and approach them skillfully. Girls love being pursued. Also don't talk about yourself, listen to what they are saying to talk to them about their stuff. Last thing girls like are conceded self centered guys...

good luck; it'll take a lot of practice but if you just simply try to be outgoing and a social butterfly not a social retard you should be OK. As someone above said physical contact and your demeanor means a lot when 1st meeting someone.

The best job you can have to help you with this is sales. Anyone who is out in the field all day long dealing with lots of people all day long knows how to make the sale... you learn how to read people and how to talk to them.

Have fun, don't get frustrated it'll take a ton of fucking up before you have a clue WTF you're doing. Also don't drink... *STAY* sober. Best time to go to clubs is later at night when the girls are all fucked up. It makes taking one home that much easier... we use to call it playing clean up at the bar... Try and avoid using alcohol to enhance your self confidence. It won't work out well in the end...

JJ4Short

I am actually quite shy but most people dont know it because I will cover it up with jokes. So for instance she called me yesterday and asked me what I needed to come over and practice, I had txted her earlier in the day, so I told her I needed to practice putting it half way in and her doing the rest of the work. She laughed, "Mike your stupid, what do you really want"

So I need to practice being serious. You know when you crack jokes that are serious to cover your ass in case they shoot you down its not awkward. Unlike most guys I have a deathly fear of rejection, hate that shit and take it personal. So in life I tend to go for sure things. I'll be with friends and joking around, they'll think I am funny, we start talking then I can be serious because I know they like me.

Sucks being an only child with over protective parents, no socialization Didn't start dating really till senior year of high school. Plus havent been single for more then 3 months since Senior year in high school. So I have have had 3 girlfriends over 5 years and no time really out there dating.

Mike 350Z

So is this girl supposed to be your wingwoman....i.e. actually helping you while you talk to girls? Or is she just there to watch you fall flat on your face? Hopefully it's the first one and you can tell her "well ya know girls will see more potential in me if you flirt with me a bit and act like we're not brother and sister."

This will help your situation with other girls because you're making your friend have a good time and she's showing she's very comfortable getting physical with you, so the strangers will in turn think you can show them a good time too. I believe the concept is called "social proof."

Then again maybe you can parlay your friend's flirting into some as she gets drunker.

Hockeyman

I'm a white guy, too young to buy drinks, i just find a girl who looks like she isn't having any fun (she must be attractive of course) and ask her to dance. Usually works every time.

ChrisQ1980

There are a few rules/facts about picking up girls at bars/clubs.

1) Most girls go out with their girlfriends to have a good time, and not looking for guys.
2) Most girls won't date/hookup with a guy they meet at a bar.
3) Don't use pickup lines or blindly approach a girl that has no idea you even exist.

Now with that out of the way lets follow up with appearance rules:

1) Be well dressed.
2) Stand out from the rest of the crowd. Almost every guy wears a polo shirt and jeans.
Try a button down and some slacks with nice shoes.
3) Smell good, this means a shower, deodorant, and some good cologne. (don't bathe in it)

Now that you know the rules, and are looking and smelling good make sure the friends you are going out with are also at your level. Not shy, good looking, and well groomed. It's easier to strike up conversation with a group of girls when you have a group of guys. (It's going to be extra hard to meet girls when going with a girl)

I usually meet girls by dancing. I like to dance and I'm pretty good at it (Not to rap either..sorry) So more often than not I have girls come near me and we dance, and then that leads to conversation. If I see a girl I like, I make sure we have eye contact and I base my instinct on how she responds/looks back at me. I don't go over right away. I make sure there are a few glances and maybe even a smile. Slowly making my way over I simply put my hand out and introduce myself. Easy as that.

DON'T
-Grab girls
-Grind on girls
-Use a pickup line
-Blindly approach
-Dress like an idiot
-Put your friends down to make yourself look better in front of the girl

Pull_T

coconut

^^werd!

Wisc Badger

how do you "smell well"????



anyway, I won't lie and say I have game, I don't. I've met 99% of the girls I've dated through work or school. However 1 time I did meet a chick at a bar. She was pretty smokin hot, way out of my league at least for a bar setting, and it was totally unexpected cuz I wasn't even trying to get her #.

I agree with the above statement of looking and feeling your best... however I also think different girls are attacted to different things.

Some girls respond to whit and charm - making a girl laugh is always a good move, but not too much to where she thinks youre a frickin clown.
A lot of immature girls respond to guys talking for a few min, acting nice but then totally turning on the "asshole" mode. They like the chase. Its basically the "banjo minno" of pickup moves. Girls dont know why but they like it and take the bait.

I would honestly say be yourself, be in a good mood... not a grouch and don't put any unneeded pressure on yourself and you'll be fine.

leave the smacking her ass for like the 2nd or 3rd date... unless its yumchachacha's mom.

EL19

iTrader: (4)

leave the smacking the ass for when ur hitin it form the back...yes most girls like whit and charm and yes girls like jokes and funny guys...but "smart" girls aka women know when they see BS and just really appreciate a guy being himself...if ur a genuine nice dude then u will hav no problems wit the ladies becuz by now most women have been with a few assholes and dnt wana do it all over again...unless they re idiots and those are the kind u jus use and throw away anyways...no disrespect to women but if u put urslef out there to b used u will b...but mostly everyone here has given good advice but i just say be urself and if u really like ur friend of 10 years when she sees you with other women and how successful u have become at being a "mack" she will inevitably b on ur nuts becuz women dont want something or someone other women dont want...i always have chiks on my jock when im with another woman but when im by myself i tend to not get as many looks...and also there is an extremely fine line between confidence and cockyness dont cross it

amisconception

I'm fascinated by your question... Can you do me a favor and guess? Seriously, take a second and guess. I'm really hoping you're not that inept.

taz98spin

Thanks, I'll use that next time I go clubbing

MikeCLS6

you have many good points, some people should be taking notes

KCPreki11

your spelling...my eyes

bent09

iTrader: (1)

Walk up and say "Hey want to blow me?"

Then when she says no you follow with...

"Come on lower your standards, I did."

Works everytime

JJ4Short

Warning: This is not a juicy story, its an annoyed story so dont read it expecting a hook up...I failed at life! Cliff notes at the bottom.

Legend
Girl A=Girl I met who is friends of the girl I came with
Girl B=Girl I came with and was trying to put me down with these other chicks
Girl C=Girl A's roomate, annoying as shit.

Ok so heres how it goes.
Went out with my friend and she brought like 5 of her friends because it was someones birthday. 2 were smashable. One was more then the other. Soooo I got a lil tipsy and just started fucking around you know we are all friends so boundaries are different. So Girl A was grinding on me and I was talking to her and she has a boyfriend, he is a cage fighter...yes a cage fighter...her friends start laughing because its true and they find it strange too. So you know cracking jokes messing around laughing at Girl C.

Everythings going good, Girl B comes over and is like "so do you like her?" I am like "Yea she is cool, but you know I want you right." She laughs like always and gives me a hug...fuck! BTW she is wearing a thin dress and g-string...why do I know this she was grinding on me half the night too and got to feeling on her while dancing...you know the "I am drunk oops didn't mean to slip your titty into my mouth" We slow dance to the last song and bounce.

There was a guy there too, really cool and is roomates with the girl A and C. Well we go to denny's and start talking...Girl C doesnt shut up. So I tell her to be quiet and that she is fucking annoying. Everyone laughs, she is drunk and apparently when she is not drunk she is quiet...whatever. So we get to arguing and everyone is laughing. Well Girl A is also weird which I find out now. She is one of those people who will say they are something, she said she was pagan, even though they aren't just so they can argue with you. ANNOYING! So she calls me a bigot and narrow minded...I tell her give me 100 pagans and I bet at least 90 percent of them are nutty and I dont care what you say...That's the charmer in me.

SOOOO I really have no patience for girls who are annoying so I stop talking to them and start talking to Girl B. Our normal dumb conversations then she is like "Will you let me have your eggs" so I tell her "I will let you have whatever you want" so she raises her eyebrow and says "Does that go for anything" and I off course say "You know it does" :quepornmusic: We are standing to pay in line, I start biting her neck and she is like "Stop" while laughing. Then we start driving home in seperate cars. I call her and she is like "So do you still like Girl A?" I tell her fuck no, She then calls me picky, I tell her "You know seriously having sex with you is one of my goals in life." She laughs.

Thing about her is she is not really a tease in the normal sense. You know that attention whore type girl who everyone wants to fuck and she knows it and she flirts with guys just for fun...this is not her at all. I have seen her around other guys and she doesn't act like that at all. I think she just finds it funny I am so blunt and since I don't try to initiate shit and keep my boundaries she doesnt care.

What I learned: Even though girl A was annoying Girl B actually makes me happy and it was a good night. We all had fun.
Me and Girl B are going running today...the end.


CLiff notes:
I met a girl
girl turns out to be annoying
I still want to fuck my friend
She knows it
She won't let me
Sad
We are going running today
the end.

Whiskers

The cliffs confuse me.....

EuRTSX

"Usually."

JJ4Short

I was still a little drunk when I wrote this...
It kind of confuses me now too...oh well back to sleep.

Will Y.

Welcome to trying to understand women.

Good luck with your friend, unless she's committed. The "Friend Zone" will suck, though.