Guys, how would you feel if one of your male friends made a pass at you in a really subtle way?

 

Well, considering that all of my friends have been friends for a long time, I'd feel pretty weird. I hardly have any casual acquaintances. I treat my friends like family, so it would be like my brother/sister hitting on me.

 

Coming up with something to say back is really difficult. If a longterm friend pulled that kinda stuff with me, we'd sure have a long talk, but probably stay friends in the end.

 

actually had that happen, of all places, in the Marines! unbelieveable but true, we remained friends after a fashion, but it was kinda weird for a while, he was married with a kid, guess he was Bi....he never really acted the same after the "pass" , Of course I probably didn't either, but I tried to ignore the whole thing (you wouldn't believe what some Marines will do to someone of his persuasion if they find out)

 

That would make even me feel awkward. The Marines is like a job. It's like a co-worker hitting on you, whether or not you're attracted to them, it's awkward. Doubly so because he's married with a kid and you're straight

 

Why let something this silly ruin a good friendship?

 

Actually it was/is quite a lot more than a job. It's more of a brotherhood (you'd have to be there to understand the relationships), which makes it a brother or worse hitting on you, not to mention the opinion most Marines had of gays in the day, it wasn't good. I have to say it took me a lot to not turn him in. It was a dishonorable discharge offense at that time. He was a friend so I said nothing.

 

You're brave to not say anything. I'm guessing you never really talked to him about it because it was too awkward/not safe to talk about.

 

teh :ghey:

 

I think it would be ackward if it was a close friend and this was how you found out they were gay/bi. It wouldn't end the friendship, but you might question how strong your friendship was to begin with, since you didn't know.

I used to work at my HS and college theaters so we had all kinds of shows going through there. There were a few gay and lesbian comedy shows and at one of them a guy made (what I thought was) a pretty subtle pass at me. It was no big deal and I didn't freak out about it.

The sad part about the lesbian comedy shows was that the auditorium held about 1700 people and it was usually sold out. Other than a few males, it was completely packed with women. It sucks being surrounded by 1600+ women and not having a snowballs chance in hell with any of them. It was less painful when I realized you could count the attractive ones (7+/10) on one or two hands.

 

Surrounded by lesbians! Their comedy shows are funny though? Ever hear Elvira Kurt on the Comedy Network? Man she cracks me up!

About the guy making a pass at you, it's WAY easier to fend someone off who you don't know than it is with a friend. Especially if he's trying to come out that way. He'll get rejected and go boo-hoo and cry about it. I've seen it happen two times.

 

Wait a minute, somebody voted for "Hit it" !!

Damn, I shoulda made it so that ID's display!

 

It was about 15 years ago, so I have no clue. The only name I remember was Rea Delaria (sp). The was as nasty/vulgar as Chris Rock can be and funny almost as funny.

 

My friends and i make homosexual jokes/references that would make even the slightly homophobic cringe, so i doubt i'd think they were serious.

If I knew for sure it wasn't a joke, i'd probably go with option three. Although I've always said i'll try anything once...

 

"Get the f*** away from me! We're not friends anymore!"

 

define subtle pass

 

He tries to trick you into trading massages, or he says just little things that could be taken in two ways just to protect his ass if you react bad. Or like if he lets his hand linger a bit too long on your shoulder and gives it a little squeeze. Or brushes his knuckles up against yours while you're playing a 2 player game on your XBOX or something. Nothing obvious like groping.

 

I'm a little confused on the question. You are gay, correct? So if a male friend of yours hit on you, thats an entirely different ballpark than if a male friend of mine hit on me, knowing that I'm not gay.

 

 

Yes, that's true. But I'm asking the question to you straight guys (that was my original intent...I already know what I would do). Personally, if a longtime friend hit on me, I'd be really weirded out. I'd have to tell him that he screwed up but we can stay friends if he keeps it under control and isn't in love with me or something! Or for me I could imagine one of my female friends making a pass at me. So I'm asking how you would feel and react if a male friend of yours (short or long term) hit on you.

 

People, don't you get it? He's trying to hit on his straight friends!

First a little and then some which is really :ghey:

 

I'd let the f#@$er know he f#@$ed up... but we would still be cool as long as he kept his sex life out of mine... and no more passes...

It really shouldn't matter... some people aren't confertable [sp] with their sexuality so they feel threatened... my first reaction would be but giving it some thought after the shock from actually having a good friend throw a pass at you... i'd say i'd let it be known that he can not do that again if he would like to stay friends... other then that... we'd still be cool...

Now if one of my wife's girlfriends through a pass at my wife... i'd be go for it... as long as I can join... Probably wouldn't happen though...

 

i had a lesbian friend in high school, and it didnt make me uncomfortable until she made a pass at me

i told her it was fucked up, and that she knew i was straight, so why even bother making me uncomfortable.

she backed off but kept trying later down the road so i had to stop talking to her.

 

So....is this friend thats hitting on me gay and out, or gay and I previously thought he was straight?

If I knew the guy was gay, I wouldn't really care so much. If it was one of my friends that is straight, it would be a big problem.

 

People don't seem to understand that no means no.

 

Like do you mean one of your friends who THINKS he's straight but you're the first guy he makes a pass at?

I'm talking if you're unsure if he's gay or not, or even if you know. All my friends know and I made it 100% clear that I will NEVER make a pass at them.

 

Was he hot?

 

Okay, assume he is. For some people that might make a difference.

 

oh in that case, i would tell everyone he was gay so then i would have less to compete with

 

Smart move as long as you ask him if you can.

 

i can't help it, this just cracked me up

 

Well if it was a close friend then they should KNOW that I or whoever isnt in to that. So it would be fucked up on the Friend that is doing the hitting on if u ask me.